Dollar Dances

cbratthauer
cbratthauer Posts: 228 Member
edited September 26 in Chit-Chat
Once again, my opinion and that of the "etiquette board" of TheKnot.com disagree. I am looking forward to having a dollar dance at my wedding. I think they're fun, and each wedding I have been to it has turned into a sort of contest on who can get more dollars, the bride or the groom. TheKnot says they're tacky and money grabby. What is everybody else's opinions? I don't want to be termed "money grabby" I just wanted to do one because I think they're fun!!
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Replies

  • teanabean
    teanabean Posts: 168 Member
    I think they are fun but tacky at a wedding. IN my opinion they are only done here if its for like a benefit for someone who is sick or has lost their house, etc.

    What do your guests think?
  • SarahWrittenThin
    SarahWrittenThin Posts: 595 Member
    I plan on doing one, I've been to a lot of weddings that have done them and never thought anything about it aside from it being fun and or funny. if you want to do it I think you should.
  • amyhoss
    amyhoss Posts: 414 Member
    I did one at my wedding. I don't think they are tackey. It gives people a chance to dance with the bride/groom whom would otherwise probably not get a chance.
  • knantz
    knantz Posts: 68
    Your wedding, your etiquette. If you want one, do it.
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
    Maybe if you dont want to do dollars, maybe get some fake "coins" or something and have the person who collects the most coins wins bragging rights.
  • sarabig2fit
    sarabig2fit Posts: 274 Member
    We did one. We made a bunch of money and I do not regret doing it. A lot of people think it's tacky but who cares, it's your wedding!
  • amyhoss
    amyhoss Posts: 414 Member
    Teanabean, where is "here?"
  • brneydgrlie
    brneydgrlie Posts: 464 Member
    I think it depends on the situation. Dollar dances started out as a way to help the bride and groom get started in their new life - money for purchasing household goods, etc. If you and your fiance have already set up a household together, and don't need that stuff, then I would consider it tacky.

    One other way to do it may be to pick a charity you and your fiance like and tell your guests that the money collected with go to that charity.
  • HealthierMamasita
    HealthierMamasita Posts: 1,126 Member
    I wish I would have remembered about the dollar dance for my wedding almost 10 years ago! Sounds like fun! I say it's your wedding and you should do what you want to do. The more fun the better!
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    We had one. My wife said that it's so that people will come up to you one at a time and you can spend a little time with each person. The rest of the night you'll be pulled in every direction. I just looked at it as we just paid $30,000 for this shin-dig and y'all are eating $100 meals, the least you can do is give us a little bit of cash to cover.
  • ItsOn130
    ItsOn130 Posts: 269 Member
    Do it! It's a fun thing! I did one and I've participated in many! Not tacky! :flowerforyou:
  • cbratthauer
    cbratthauer Posts: 228 Member
    I think they are fun but tacky at a wedding. IN my opinion they are only done here if its for like a benefit for someone who is sick or has lost their house, etc.

    What do your guests think?

    Well I'm assuming my guests think it's ok because those weddings I have gone to have all had one. I live in Iowa, maybe it is a regional thing I'm not sure, but everybody knows to bring dollars to a wedding for the dollar dance.
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    I think they're incredibly tacky, and would never have one at MY wedding, nor would I participate in one (yes I realize weddings are expensive, but the budget is the couple's choice, not the guests', and I've already gotten them a gift..if I had opted to give them money, I'd have written them a check)...but to each their own.
  • KristyF08
    KristyF08 Posts: 89 Member
    I think they are fun. We did one at our wedding... it's a total tradition in my family. My husband wasn't sold on it but afterwards he said he was glad we did. It gave us a chance to talk to more people that we might have missed when we walked around the room. Plus it was just fun! We did set a limit on the number of songs, we didn't want it to last forever. :flowerforyou: I say go for it, it's your wedding, your decision! Congratualtions by the way!
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Tacky.
  • KristenAnn711
    KristenAnn711 Posts: 783
    what is a dollar dance? ive only seen this at strip clubs
  • AlissaPreuss
    AlissaPreuss Posts: 11
    They are fun, BUT should NEVER go for more than a half hour. I was at a wedding and they did the dollar dance for over an hour then they did an auction for the garter for another half an hour THEN at midnight they passed a hat for people to pay for the dj to stay longer. You can totally handle it in a classy manner without turning your wedding into an opportunity fo panhandling.
  • crystal_loga
    crystal_loga Posts: 106 Member
    I live in the south, and every wedding I have been to has had a "Money Dance". Its just a little something extra for the bride and groom. Anyone that thinks its tacky, does NOT have to get up and dance with the bride and groom!! They can just sit there and watch. No one at the wedding is forced to participate. 10 years ago when my husband and I wed, we collected almost $1000 between cards and the money dance. We paid our photographer and the hotel for the night of our wedding with that money, and I promise you it came in VERY handy!! We would have had really hard time coming up with that money otherwise. I'm very grateful that there was a money dance at our wedding!
    P.S. It also gave us each a few mins to personally thank our guests for coming to the wedding on a more personal level.
  • cbratthauer
    cbratthauer Posts: 228 Member
    They are fun, BUT should NEVER go for more than a half hour. I was at a wedding and they did the dollar dance for over an hour then they did an auction for the garter for another half an hour THEN at midnight they passed a hat for people to pay for the dj to stay longer. You can totally handle it in a classy manner without turning your wedding into an opportunity fo panhandling.

    Oh wow! Yea we definitely wouldn't go more than half an hour! And we're not auctioning anything or asking people to pay for the DJ to stay longer, we're already paying him to stay as late as our venue allows.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    I think they're incredibly tacky, and would never have one at MY wedding...but to each their own.

    exactly. some people are rude and snobby and look down on others. some people are fun and like to laugh. Pick which kind of person you want to be :)
    :huh:
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    They are fun, BUT should NEVER go for more than a half hour. I was at a wedding and they did the dollar dance for over an hour then they did an auction for the garter for another half an hour THEN at midnight they passed a hat for people to pay for the dj to stay longer. You can totally handle it in a classy manner without turning your wedding into an opportunity fo panhandling.

    Wow, that is a long time! We had a little over 100 guests and I think ours lasted for a couple songs. We gave the DJ a list of songs for it and told him to play it by ear. If people keep coming up, then continue.
  • mawhite717
    mawhite717 Posts: 202 Member
    dollar dances are AWESOME!! i dont think they're tacky at all! i've never been to a wedding that DOESNT have the dollar dance. i say go for it!
  • crystal10584
    crystal10584 Posts: 334
    sounds like fun, but I'd worry about the financial pressures associated with our economic times. I agree with what someone else said... get coins and see who can collect more for bragging rights so people don't feel obligated to fork over additional money.
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
    They are so fun! It's a tradition in my family, but somehow overlooked at my wedding. I kind of feel bad about it, as we didn't really have time to chat with everyone that we would have liked to.

    People are getting all uppity about a dollar??? People amaze me! Live, love and laugh!

    This post reminds me of a pic at my brother's wedding.....he's dancing with an aunt, who's holding up a MasterCard! LOL! Thanks for the smile today!

    Enjoy your special day. Remember that you can't please everyone, you'll go bonkers trying! :wink:
  • thunt1990
    thunt1990 Posts: 157 Member
    Every wedding i have been to they have had a dollar dance. They are a fun time and i dont think anyone would be offended (at least where i live). I think the tradition started so the couple would have extra money on their honeymoon. They are a great way to congratulate the couple and are cute :smile:
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    To each their own.

    Bottom line it is YOUR wedding and its YOUR day. You plan the wedding YOU want, not the wedding your guest will want. A wedding is a reflection of the couple. What is tacky in one person's mind is ok in another. There is just no way anyone can make everyone happy. If guest don't want to participate in it then they don't have too. Its not a forced event.

    Beauty and tacky are in the eye of the beholder.

    Just enjoy your day :)
  • lclarius
    lclarius Posts: 34 Member
    I think its def a southern/midwest thing, in the northeast its not really done too much any more (from my experience). I think anything can be made tacky (this included) but if done the right way can be a lot of fun. It depends on how you and the dj approach the situation. If you are a little hesitant maybe say all proceeds will go to xyz charity (chose a charity or organization that means something to you and your fiance) . I think people are less likely to think something is tacky when its for a good cause. And as others have said anyone that doesnt like it doesnt have to put money in for the dance.
  • ales1979
    ales1979 Posts: 269 Member
    Personally I'd say that its YOUR wedding therefore its YOUR special day. If you wanna have a dollar dance, then go for it and have fun!!

    Personally I think its a great idea (we don't have anything similar in th UK) and I've lost count of the number of weddings I've ben to where I've not had a chance to say /Hi and Congrats to the couple because they're soo busy for the whole day!

    Plus why shouldn't the couple begin their married life with a bit of extra cash to help them out?? Surely you invite guests to your weddings that want to see you happy and in love and without any stresses in your life, so they would be glad to have the chance to give the Bride and Groom a 'little something' to help them start their life together without them (the guest) feeling they're being judged for the amount they give and get to spend a little time with the 'stars of the show' .

    Sounds like a win-win situation for the guests and the happy couple, to me!! :)

    If ever I get married I'll definitely demand a Pound (sterling - UK) dance at my wedding! I think it sounds like an awesome idea! :bigsmile:

    You do whatever you wanna do honey! Its only supposed to happen once, after all!! so enjoy it! :smile:
  • keljo05
    keljo05 Posts: 173
    I never considered doing one and can't remember ever seeing one done at a wedding I've been too. I agree with regional as I'm in the Northeast and that can play a role.

    however I really never thought about it in other ways that have been explained. Also as others have said its YOUR day... YOUR wedding. if this is a common thing in your area and your traditions then by all means do it and remember to just enjoy your day :)
  • kgool
    kgool Posts: 177 Member
    what is a dollar dance? ive only seen this at strip clubs

    Exactly what I was thinking and why I clicked this thread. /disappointed

    but, congrats original poster. Do the dollar dance and to hell with what anyone thinks.
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