non-dieting spouse/partner

I guess I just started looking at the positive, like that me not having seconds means it will be easy to prep his lunch with leftovers for work in the morning or over the next couple mornings. Basically developed a "more for him" kind of attitude which kind of, for lack of a better way to put it, tricks me into believing I'm more generous and saintly than I am [when I'm not dieting].

Yes, I totally get you. My dh actually loses weight if he does NOT work out (he is blessed with high metabolism). This can be very frustrating because even if he wants to, he cannot begin to understand my struggle with food. It has helped me to find other people that truly understand how we truly want to stop eating too much more than anything, but we can't, even with good reason. It's like a disease in my mind.

I know how you feel. My husband might a gain a few pounds but only has to say "I'd like to loose weight" and whammo four days later he's down ten or fifteen and it is back to pizza as usual. Good luck reaching your goals! Feel free to add me

I can relate.
My husband has been fit his whole life, and not just slim, but fit. He was a track and field athlete in college, and has kept most of his physique even though he doesn't train anymore due to an injury.
He regularly eats the sweets and treats that will put 10 lbs on me within a couple of weeks if I let myself indulge like he does.
He doesn't diet with me, he doesn't need to, and I end up making two completely different meals all the time for us. I *could* eat what he eats, just smaller portions, but the portions would be so small that I wouldn't get full and would end up snacking anyways. I don't mind so much making 2 meals, it works for us.

I can't complain too much though, I'm easily twice his weight, and he's never once complained, or made me feel fat or ugly. Quite the opposite, although he does *very* politely encourage me to move and exercise with him (as much as his injury will allow).

Feel free to add me ladies

I have to remind myself constantly that I can't eat what my boyfriend eats. It can be hard when I take an actual serving of ice cream while he fills a giant bowl. But he's supportive and he tries not to go overboard in front of me often.

I wonder what your husband puts in his spanikopita to make it so high-calorie. Does he drown the phyllo in butter? I wonder if he could make a lighter version for you. I make mine heavy on the greens, with low fat feta and garlic and nutmeg, and I use olive oil only on top if I'm making triangles, and only between every few sheets if I'm making a big single. I also use more stuffing and less phyllo. It really cuts down on the calories.

I'm sure there's other dishes he could easily alter for you.

Considering my husband is male, 6' tall and always blessed with a lean body type compared to the facts that I'm female, 5'2" tall and my "real" post-weight loss body type is much smaller and leaner than either of us expected, it doesn't surprise me that I need to eat less than him.

BUT it took both of us a LOT of mental adjustment to appreciate that. Now it doesn't bother us. He's bigger than me. If I want to eat the same quantities as him, I have to work out more.

I would also add that even though your partner may not pile on the pounds if they are eating more, relatively unhealthy foods, it may not do their bodies any good in other ways. DH could eat anything without putting weight on. Unfortunately, it made his blood pressure and cholesterol go up.

to_be_little wrote: »

OMG!!! I can completely relate to this. The whole 160lbs thing, the portion size and foods! I think I gain weight from smelling my partners food, lol.

I do my best to keep my portions low and track AND exercise but its so hard sometimes. I'm also on med that make me crave simple carbs and sugars (mirtazapine) so anything my partner brings into the house that's a treat I can't help but snack on it at night :-(

Please add me if your looking for help. I've found some really yumny low cal treats!

Same thing, right down to the numbers. We have two households, as my other half is in school. I don't keep junk in my home. I've started to keep or bring healthier options with me when I travel back and forth.

It was difficult, at first. But then I realized that if I prepare meals, I control what I'm eating. This way, we are both eating healthier. He may eat more than me, but I'm not worried about it because he doesn't seem to realize how few calories some of our meals have. Along with that, as I've progressed in my journey, my fiance has started to workout with me. He's also started to be more supportive (i.e. not suggesting we go out for dinner as often, skipping fast food, and cutting down on sweets in the house).

My husband is similar, since we are not similar in size. I have found that small adjustments to many of our favorite recipes make a big difference in me being able to eat them. I use less oil, or change the ratio of veggies to meat to be more veggies in stir fry, or use less cheese but more variety on my pizza, or use less rice and more veggies in my fried rice. These help me lower the calories of a portion while allowing me to enjoy the food with him. Portion control also helps, so I might have one portion when he has two. I also don't keep trigger snacks in the house (i.e. things that I cannot maintain portion control for yet). This all helps me stay on track. The hubby knows I am trying to lose weight and is supportive by not pushing if I say "no, I'm good, thanks" to one of his offers. So far, it seems to be working.