"Lift Like a Woman" Fitness Assessment
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Folks who are telling you that your anger isn't justified or that it's just you getting worked up over nothing are missing the big, glaring point: that you were underestimated because you were a woman. The jerk stereotyped you and immediately assumed that you were ignorant about training, and assuming you were incompetent in spite of the fact that you clearly did your research about 5x5 Stronglifts. You see this junk SO much you'd need to be the Dalai Lama to be wholly unaffected.0
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Folks who are telling you that your anger isn't justified or that it's just you getting worked up over nothing are missing the big, glaring point: that you were underestimated because you were a woman. The jerk stereotyped you and immediately assumed that you were ignorant about training, and assuming you were incompetent in spite of the fact that you clearly did your research about 5x5 Stronglifts. You see this junk SO much you'd need to be the Dalai Lama to be wholly unaffected.
Yes, the advice is often that the woman has to change her behaviour. If you look out for this you will notice how less often there is mention that the person with anti-woman attitudes should change their behaviour.0 -
Folks who are telling you that your anger isn't justified or that it's just you getting worked up over nothing are missing the big, glaring point: that you were underestimated because you were a woman. The jerk stereotyped you and immediately assumed that you were ignorant about training, and assuming you were incompetent in spite of the fact that you clearly did your research about 5x5 Stronglifts. You see this junk SO much you'd need to be the Dalai Lama to be wholly unaffected.
Yes, the advice is often that the woman has to change her behaviour. If you look out for this you will notice how less often there is mention that the person with anti-woman attitudes should change their behaviour.
I want to marry this post and have it's babies
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what i mostly notice is that the op seems to have gone from being told how to lift by some opinionated and thoughtless stranger, to being told how she should feel about being told how to lift, by several other opinionated and thoughtless strangers.
can't see the difference, myself. it's just another typical day's worth of being dictated to about her own life, by people who seem more interested in knowing better than her than they are in hearing what she actually came here to say.
me, i'm on her side. but i can't say i'm surprised.0 -
I actually very much enjoy those situations to be honest ...where somebody, because of his gender, thinks he knows more than I do ..then without saying anything, just by doing whatever it is I do I watch them backtrack, sometimes spluttering...
It's mysogynistic ...they wouldn't even contemplate doing/saying the same to a man
But in a way, in a very small way, this small moment has taught them something valuable that hopefully they'll take forward into their next encoutner...stereotypes suck
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Folks who are telling you that your anger isn't justified or that it's just you getting worked up over nothing are missing the big, glaring point: that you were underestimated because you were a woman. The jerk stereotyped you and immediately assumed that you were ignorant about training, and assuming you were incompetent in spite of the fact that you clearly did your research about 5x5 Stronglifts. You see this junk SO much you'd need to be the Dalai Lama to be wholly unaffected.
Yes, the advice is often that the woman has to change her behaviour. If you look out for this you will notice how less often there is mention that the person with anti-woman attitudes should change their behaviour.
You can only change yourself. People can only make you angry if you let them.0 -
leooftheyear wrote: »
Honestly, the best course of action is just to ignore that one.0 -
Folks who are telling you that your anger isn't justified or that it's just you getting worked up over nothing are missing the big, glaring point: that you were underestimated because you were a woman. The jerk stereotyped you and immediately assumed that you were ignorant about training, and assuming you were incompetent in spite of the fact that you clearly did your research about 5x5 Stronglifts. You see this junk SO much you'd need to be the Dalai Lama to be wholly unaffected.
Yes, the advice is often that the woman has to change her behaviour. If you look out for this you will notice how less often there is mention that the person with anti-woman attitudes should change their behaviour.
XOXO0 -
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*shrug* Do whatever you want. :ohwell:0 -
See...I wouldn't have been mad at all since the OTHER trainer suggested the Strong Woman thing. I would have walked out of there with a big smile on my face.0
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KGRebelRanch wrote: »I get this in a different way. I'm 4'8" and 135lbs. While I don't go to the gym, I get tired of people (men AND women) telling me to step aside or let someone else come over to load hay/feed/equipment. The worst offender was a man who came to buy a truck frame from us and told me that he would come back with another man because, "I can't load this by myself." I asked him, "So am I supposed to go somewhere else? There's two of us, we can load it."
After a lot of hemming and hawing he finally agreed (I may have also told him if I got hurt, I was in my own yard loading my own frame, so it wasn't like I could sue him).
I explained that my husband works from 6:30-6:00 and if I need anything done, I have to be able to do it alone. This means getting a tractor implement hooked up alone, loading hay alone, hunting and cleaning game alone, vaccinating 400lbs hogs alone.
But the WOMEN who get snarky over it are worse than any man. I cant count the sneers I get when I help load feed with my husband. After hearing a bunch of comments from several 20-something socialite-wannabes while my husband and I loaded feed I wheeled around and said, "What am I supposed to do if im not helping? Stand here and look pretty? Talk on my phone? He just got off a ten hour shift of moving equipment that is heavier than he is and he STILL drove me all the way here and helped me load it. You seem AWFULLY helpful stading around like a freaking mannequin-your husbands must feel lucky to have such pretty ladies to stare at."
I may not be the best looking, or the friendliest, but i'll be damned if im letting my vag stop me from being helpful with heavy items after my husband worked his hands to the bone all day.
Do you know my wife (of 25 years)? You sure do remind me of her! Our lives don't involve livestock, but she's never been afraid to get her hands dirty.
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As one gains experience, they learn how to deal appropriately with clients they attain. If looks like they've been taking care of themselves and working out, I ask if they want to go through a physical assessment, giving them the choice.
If someone is totally new, then they go assessment since that's the only way you can get an objective view of their true limitations.
A smart trainer SHOULD have a decent idea of limitations based on history from the person at the outset though. Injuries, workout history, and goals should have been discussed well before any physical assessment.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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How exactly. So should I go around angry every day when people make Hispanic people jokes or short people jokes about me? Seriously, it's allowing people to rent free space in your head. Who the f cares what insignificant people think about you. Hold on, I have to prove myself to a no one so they will respect what I do. It makes no sense. Do you go to the gym to get people's respect in there? Or do you go to accomplish a goal?
Walking around mad or depressed about what some "nobody" said or thought about you is playing the victim.
Women put up with this *kitten* all of the time. It's not insignificant, it's day in, day out. People should be bloody angry about it, they should show their displeasure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A
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M27, a person starts a thread saying, "I was patronised today, I was treated with prejudice". The replies should be, "he was wrong". They should not be, "get over yourself, stop being a victim, don't get angry, just accept it".0
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There are no rules as to what replies "should be". In this world sometimes people over react. It happens. Yes, maybe the guy really is an idiot but why would you care what an idiot thinks? Again, how does that change your life?
Well, I think it's pretty human to believe in "shoulds". I think women should have opportunities equal to men. When they go in to a gym, they shouldn't be told, "No love, you shouldn't be lifting those big weights, they're just for men".
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I think you have every right to be upset. I know people go in for a form check. I've done it and the same thing has happened to me. It took me starting Crossfit to get someone to actually show me how to use a barbell. Tried commercial gyms in my town for 10 years and there was basically no one available or willing to teach me how to do anything other than bodybuilding schemes, even the trainers I hired. I do a bodybuilding style sequence once a week for a variety of reasons, so I understand the value, but that wasn't my focus. I still don't have an ongoing PL coach; can't find one less than 100 miles away. Feel you.
Triple like.0 -
P.S. I think the people on here just like to act like other people are stupid and over-reactive because they like to act perfect like they don't have feelings themselves. If you can't vent online in a forum like this, I'm sure you'd be a real jerk to family and friends. I'd rather be a jerk online just blowing off steam to whoever will listen than in RL. I'm pretty sure I'm good at it, too. Anyway, have a great day!0
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It's not being a jerk, it's being realistic. I'm far from perfect but someone else thinking I'm flawed has no affect on me. I never called her stupid. I did say she over reacted. Again, big difference.
depends how you define realistic, i think. reality is that *kitten* happens and people frequently suck, and unless something is medically wrong with you, interacting with other humans will have an effect. it's supposed to have one; the only people who are genuinely too dissociated from their own species to be bothered by things tend to be very unhealthy indeed.
and reality is that typically, repeated denial and internalization takes more energy and is more destructive for a lot of people than simply naming a problem, expressing the problem, and having enough self-respect to articulate what was unacceptable about whatever it was. mind you, i identify 'problems' for a living in order to improve quality, so i'm long past the point where i'm even interested in complainer-shaming as a valid reaction to anything. in my own long experience, if you don't name it it doesn't get fixed. and spending the energy on naming it is much more constructive in the long run than crossing the street to tell someone else why they shouldn't call it a problem at all.
especially considering that the op was complaining about someone who actually did try to interfere with her life and was actively working to push own stupid biases up her nose . . . whereas it seems like you're going out of your way to proselytize ignoring him to someone who probably wasn't even aware you exist until now.0 -
So i was at the gym today, and i finished my spin class and i was walking out and he was over by his office and he was like "HI HAYLEY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND
" i was just like 
and walked out.... too funny 0 -
Folks who are telling you that your anger isn't justified or that it's just you getting worked up over nothing are missing the big, glaring point: that you were underestimated because you were a woman. The jerk stereotyped you and immediately assumed that you were ignorant about training, and assuming you were incompetent in spite of the fact that you clearly did your research about 5x5 Stronglifts. You see this junk SO much you'd need to be the Dalai Lama to be wholly unaffected.
I completely agree, thats part of the reason why i actually switched gyms...there was NO FEMALES in the free weights area... and it was all meathead guys who were grunting and just obnoxious... i am pleased to say that i went for my workout last night and there were quite a few women lifting heavy in the free weights section and there was a guy who was on the smith machine next to me who was like "i see you working over there" its a much more supportive environment minus this one guy 0 -
JadeRabbit08 wrote: »Folks who are telling you that your anger isn't justified or that it's just you getting worked up over nothing are missing the big, glaring point: that you were underestimated because you were a woman. The jerk stereotyped you and immediately assumed that you were ignorant about training, and assuming you were incompetent in spite of the fact that you clearly did your research about 5x5 Stronglifts. You see this junk SO much you'd need to be the Dalai Lama to be wholly unaffected.
Yes, the advice is often that the woman has to change her behaviour. If you look out for this you will notice how less often there is mention that the person with anti-woman attitudes should change their behaviour.
I want to marry this post and have it's babies
THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!0 -
I actually very much enjoy those situations to be honest ...where somebody, because of his gender, thinks he knows more than I do ..then without saying anything, just by doing whatever it is I do I watch them backtrack, sometimes spluttering...
It's mysogynistic ...they wouldn't even contemplate doing/saying the same to a man
But in a way, in a very small way, this small moment has taught them something valuable that hopefully they'll take forward into their next encoutner...stereotypes suck
i agree, sadly i saw him today and he acted liek nothing happened, but i'm happy to say he is not my trainer and i will not be working with him, and the trainer i did have was super supportive of my goals
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