Article: 'Never Ever Diet With Your Partner'

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lemonlionheart
lemonlionheart Posts: 580 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
jezebel.com/never-ever-diet-with-your-partner-1671407159

Have any of you had experience trying to lose weight with your significant other? Have you found it helpful or not?
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  • mykaylis
    mykaylis Posts: 320 Member
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    ugh, we're always on the opposite page of each other. i wish to god i could get him on the same page as me - i'm changing my habits to prepare for surgery, he is bringing home cookies every week along with ice cream and sometimes chips. his bmi is well over 50, so obviously this is a tad frustrating.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    mykaylis wrote: »
    ugh, we're always on the opposite page of each other. i wish to god i could get him on the same page as me - i'm changing my habits to prepare for surgery, he is bringing home cookies every week along with ice cream and sometimes chips. his bmi is well over 50, so obviously this is a tad frustrating.

    That would be frustrating. If he insists on bringing them home and they are too much of a temptation to you (not saying that cookies/Ice cream/ chips should not be eaten but they can be easily binged on) maybe you can ask him to put them somewhere you can't find them.
  • trivard676
    trivard676 Posts: 90 Member
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    My boyfriend was able to lose weight just by cutting calories. I prefer to get active in addition to cutting calories, but he did (still does) not want to exercise. When we would go to the gym, he'd be ready to call it done after a half an hour, when I'd typically be in for another 40 minutes. He'd get frustrated, the whole thing ended up being an exercise in frustration. So now I go to the gym by myself. :)
  • chloeelizabethm
    chloeelizabethm Posts: 184 Member
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    Me and my boyfriend do it, and always find ourselves saying that it would be impossible if the other one didn't!

    Whoever cooks knows that the usual dinner we have shouldn't be more than 800 and lunches should sit around 400 so we can both adjust our day's choices knowing that we can rely on our main meals sitting comfortably around those numbers. It makes food shopping easier so there's no/not a lot of junk food in the house or if it is the portions are around 100 cals and we motivate one another to get up at 5:15am to go to the gym before work!

    The only hurdle so far is now I'm trying to maintain and he's still trying to lose so we just stick to his calories for the meals we eat together and I make up my calories with snacks throughout the day :)
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I don't "diet" with anyone. My husband and I made a lifestyle change together a few years ago, and it has been going well ever since. It actually makes it easier when you're on the same page. But we get along well in general...maybe we are unusual?
  • mykaylis
    mykaylis Posts: 320 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    mykaylis wrote: »
    ugh, we're always on the opposite page of each other. i wish to god i could get him on the same page as me - i'm changing my habits to prepare for surgery, he is bringing home cookies every week along with ice cream and sometimes chips. his bmi is well over 50, so obviously this is a tad frustrating.

    That would be frustrating. If he insists on bringing them home and they are too much of a temptation to you (not saying that cookies/Ice cream/ chips should not be eaten but they can be easily binged on) maybe you can ask him to put them somewhere you can't find them.

    you know, i'm finding it surprisingly easy to pretend the treats aren't there (i may have two oreos, in the past i'd have the whole box). it bothers me most because just by looking at us, the family HAS to change our diet and activity, and when i'm trying to make positive changes and weigh and measure everything and eat correct portions... he throws everything into a frying pan and serves me a pile of whatever it is he just cooked. and then the kids start whining for dessert and lo, the ice cream is waiting and when they run out of that, they have a box of oreos, a box of fudgios, and a box of chips ahoy to dive into. sometimes i feel like slapping him upside the head and say "get with the program and stop bringing that garbage into the house!"

    so far the kids are not overweight but they are not being fed particularly healthy food a good part of the time. i just want him to come on board and eat however much HE wants for HIS supper, but make available healthy choices for the rest of us and serve up reasonable portions. my 4 year old never eats a full plate of spaghetti..
  • mamadon
    mamadon Posts: 1,422 Member
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    I didnt read the article, but my husband and I have been doing MFP and changing our lives together for almost two years. Combined, we have lost over 250 pounds. I would have had a harder time if we werent both doing it. The way I figure it, we enabled each other to get fat, we can enable each other to be thin.
  • mymodernbabylon
    mymodernbabylon Posts: 1,038 Member
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    As I haven't given anything up to lose weight, it doesn't matter if my H joins me or not. We do lift together at least 2x a week and he supports my weight loss efforts.
  • Carlos_421
    Carlos_421 Posts: 5,132 Member
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    It's much harder doing it alone. When my wife and I are both making efforts to lose weight together it is so much easier and we both see greater success.
  • randrews0407
    randrews0407 Posts: 216 Member
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    I'm married to the saboteur. He wants to dine out and order in ... it's part of "enjoying life" but he can afford to eat more, he is taller, has more muscle, higher metabolism and more of an active job. Plus, he gets to play soccer and basketball with colleagues on his lunch break. I can't do the Bonefish Grill and Cheesecake Factory trips. It'll easily negate the time I spent in the gym! I always have to deal with the guilt trips, how "women wish they could have someone to wine and dine them all the time" ... "one meal ain't gonna kill you" and "waiter, we will both have margaritas" after I just said I'll have water with lemon. It can get annoying. To appease him AND reach my goals I have to work twice as hard.
  • galprincess
    galprincess Posts: 682 Member
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    my partner is terrible he says hes on board then constantly brings naughties in the house usually my favourites I leave room in my day for a treat so I will have a bit and he will sit and scoff whats left. Actually if im honest its a huge problem and the more he is eating and becoming lazy im finding him less attractive. He is supportive in some ways he will weigh my portion of food or leave off sauces if I don't want them but he will make sarky comments.
  • TheVogonVegan
    TheVogonVegan Posts: 75 Member
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    Me and my husband can do the lifestyle change together, but we're both notoriously bad at resisting things when we are craving them. That said, I am a larger woman and he is a rather thin man. He eats easily twice what I do and still loses weight, so it can be discouraging when we eat the same things and only he loses anything.
  • Angierae75
    Angierae75 Posts: 417 Member
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    My weight loss has been incredibly successful this time around because my partner and I are both working on it. We've both lost weight over the last 11 weeks and it's so much easier to cook dinner when we're both eating the same things, and neither of us is bringing home snacks.
  • TopazCutie
    TopazCutie Posts: 386 Member
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    My bf is super slim already! I love it. He knows I'm trying to lose 10-15 lbs and is EXTREMELY supportive and sweet. <3 Definitely no issues.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    Once he finally admitted he needed to work on his weight too, things started going okay. I took him to see my nutritionist one time so she could explain to him what sort of goals we were setting and why. So at that point it became good to work out and diet together. When I had gotten started but he was still in denial, it was not so fabulous. I think it works much better when both partners are on the same page.
  • court_fritch26
    court_fritch26 Posts: 297 Member
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    My husband and I changed our lifestyle and are working toward being healthy and fit together. We keep each other motivated and love seeing each other get closer and closer to our goals. It does amazing things when your partner is there to support you and lift you up when you don't believe in yourself, and we are building a healthy, happy future for ourselves and our some day family
  • maxit
    maxit Posts: 880 Member
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    My partner is a sloth with intermittent bursts of high intensity exercise (like maybe every three or four days), eats whatever appeals to him in a given period, has never slept well, and is in pretty constant state of dehydration. He's 6-3 and has a lean, but muscular build. I, on the other hand, walk 3-5 miles every day, adopt a lifting routine periodically, eat intentionally to meet desired macros, within a varied diet that is mostly real food, sleep well, am well hydrated, and have little daily stress. I am 5-6 and have been above my weight range most of my adult life. We're in our 60s, if that matters. I guess the point is, to each their own. Partner probably eats much healthier just because I prepare the meals, so at least he is getting good nutrition in addition to the additional sugar, fat and sodium.
  • sheepotato
    sheepotato Posts: 600 Member
    edited December 2014
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    My husband and I are completely together on this, he loves when I cook (anything) if it's light in calories for him he just has more calories for larger meat servings, beer or snacks so he's fine with it. We go to the gym together as often as we can (sometimes it's easier for me to go alone but if he's up for going in the evenings I will go a second time to be supportive.) When one of us doesn't feel like going the other can usually talk us into it. (It's actually pretty helpful to have someone to grumble at when you don't feel like going, and thank when you are on the way out.)

    He's been gaining and losing the same 5-10 pounds for years now, so even though I have a larger goal he's always interested in going along for the ride with me. Even when the weight loss isn't part of the picture anymore, you can always stand to be a little fitter. I'm not going to complain if he gets hotter.

  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    lemonlionheart wrote: »
    jezebel.com/never-ever-diet-with-your-partner-1671407159

    Have any of you had experience trying to lose weight with your significant other? Have you found it helpful or not?

    In the past, my dh and I would say we would exercise together but it didn't really work out.
    I don't know if it would be helpful to diet together. My dh lost weight before I did without making a particular effort. I'm doing my own thing now and losing weight. Dh is supportive but we aren't a weight loss team. I think it is easier to do it on my own.

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