Article: 'Never Ever Diet With Your Partner'

it's different for every couple, i mean some couple are doing it well some is on the brink of divorce just because of dieting, some also evolve from not doing it well to being good at it as a couple.

in other words, it depends...

lemonlionheart wrote: »

Quoted in the article, in case people didn't read it:

"When people strive to reach a goal, being close (in this case, romantically) with someone who is successfully reaching the same goal can make the other partner less confident in their own efforts to reach the goal. You heard that right: People feel less confident achieving their goals when they see others succeeding at the same goals."

Anyone experience this in particular? I've never tried losing weight at the same time as a partner (though I did gain quite a bit with my last one, ha) but interested if this has happened with anyone here!

Our situation just isn't one where I can comment on that being the case. My husband has never had more than a few pounds to lose and when he reaches his goals he lets his weight creep back up, so our goals (beyond the general idea of eating well and staying active) are no where on the same scale weight-loss wise. When he has reached his target I've appreciated the confidence boost it gives him, it's good to see someone you care about feel good about themselves. I have a way to go before I'm at my target weight and I am intentionally taking a long time to get there so I will be happier with how I look once I am there again. (I don't want to lose too fast and get loose skin, so I maintain and strength train in between calorie restrictions.) It is during my maintenance when I'm cooking higher calorie meals that his weight goes up a bit, but that's because he does not track his calories that comes from places other than the meals I cook. (He will copy over my meals that I track but he doesn't like to track his snacks or liquid calories, I don't know if he will try harder to maintain when I eventually am maintaining too or just keep circulating those few pounds.)

All I can comment on is what I already have, he eats what I cook so I don't need to make separate meals for him (and we don't need to double up on groceries or anything.) When it's time to go to the gym we trade off motivating each other when one of us doesn't feel like it. It's worked out pretty well and hasn't put any strain on our relationship, if anything it's made it a bit better. We don't have anywhere near the same goals, but we are supportive of each other and we are happy with each other's successes not threatened by them. The first time we went hiking together I complained most of the way, and instead of being annoyed with me at the end (he really should have been) he gave me a hug and said 'you did it.' It made me happy to go back again with him (and I didn't complain as much as it got easier although some of the parts of the trail were really hard for me), we kept at it each time it was easier for me, and still beneficial for him and pleasant for both of us.

I've seen several posts about couples who had vastly different diets and habits and those are likely the ones that have more problems with it. I've seen the word 'sabotage' thrown around. My husband has never been overweight so he didn't need to make any changes, but he was happy to eat healthier and he's glad that going to the gym is something we can do together instead of one more thing that we have to try and work around to see each other. Sure we only talk to each other on the car ride there but it's still motivating to see him there.