What is your WHY?

So many!
My body fits wrong. It doesn't feel like mine. It's carrying more weight than my frame/genetics are meant to, and it feels strange, like wearing someone else's clothing. It's uncomfortable.
I'm lazy and irritable when I'm binging. When I listen to my body and eat when I feel like it, I enjoy food more (strange) and feel less hungry, and my energy skyrockets.
Also, I have a lot of pants that I really love that don't fit. My mother gave my favorite pair of jeans to my older sister without telling me, and when I fit in them again I have a reason to ask for them back! I can't be upset about it now, or they'll tell me I'm too fat for them anyway.
So those are my whys. I feel more like myself when I'm thin.

Like most people, this is not the first time I have lost weight. I always gained it back when life would throw me a curve ball.

I will be 50 in the spring, I am single, a grandmother, and was fat. I REFUSE to be old and fat. I can't do anything about turning 50 or the fact that I have grandchildren. I don't even have much control over being single but I CAN control what I eat and how much I exercise. Fat is the one thing I have complete control over.

I have lost over 50lbs (I know my official stats say 47lbs but I gained a few before I started losing again). I am now just 15lbs from the upper end of my goal.

I will still be turning 50 in the spring and I still have 3 beautiful granddaughters that I wouldn't trade for the world. I have a photographer friend who wants me to do a portrait session with him but I am waiting until I reach my goal to do that. It makes me feel great that a professional photographer who has sold photos to NASA, has had photos featured in Maxxim magazine, and has done catalog work wants to photograph me. At first I was hesitant but I am actually looking forward to it.

I was also contacted by "the one that got away". He hasn't seen me in almost 9 years and at the time I was about 20-25lbs heavier than I am now. He had no idea that I had lost weight and still wanted to get back together. He never thought about my weight back then but I can tell he really likes the smaller me. So, it appears that I may not be single forever.

It was a struggle getting started but once I made this a lifestyle change instead of a diet, it just clicked and I don't even think about it now. I am happier and more confident than I have been in many, many years and apparently it shows.

I guess, in a nutshell, you could say that my WHY is that I finally realized that I am worth the effort and I deserve to make myself a priority.

I know that at his point I either give up on myself or figure out a way to be healthy. I am resposible for my daughter's future eating habits and her body image. I want to be able to show her instead of just telling.

My original why was to show up a doctor. (I get so angry at doctors who diagnose me as fat and lazy, and I started calorie counting to make a point. My ob-gyn understood my point, agreed that I'm probably IR and put me on Metformin. That's how it started.)

Part of the why was knee pain (traumatic osteoarthritis); it was diagnosed ten years ago, but I was told I wasn't a good candidate for surgery *facepalm*. I used to be able to walk for miles. All the doctors insisted that losing weight would help with my knee pain. (Turns out they were wrong and it got worse, but that's another post.)

I was doing really well. Lost about 60 lbs. Then I decided I had to try GF because I was still having horrible knee pain. Bad idea, for me anyway. Made me horribly obsessive about food, gained a bunch of weight, wasn't sleeping, and it didn't do a thing for the pain. Scratch that. (I wasn't not doing it right. Turns out it helps rheumatoid arthritis but not injury induced osteoarthritis. Not the same thing at all.)

I fell and injured the offending knee a couple of times last winter, and my workout schedule and my diet just went plain out the window then I finally really mucked it up in March of this year. I finally got an ACL brace, which helps, sort of, but it doesn't provide the miraculous lack of pain and return of function everyone promised me. They won't operate on my knee because I'm only 40, but there is absolutely NO cartilage in there.

I've put back on about 35 bs since it all went sideways. I'm starving and exhausted and freezing all the time but the last time I had bloodwork, my TSH came back as 4.2, well within Canadian normal ranges. I need a new doctor. Maybe my new doctor will give me a hard time for being fat and that will motivate me. I want a second opinion on the thyroid, but I'll probably have to argue with whoever it is first, because they'll blame my fat on being lazy, even though my sister's been under treatment for thyroid issues for nearly a decade and for her, 4.2 is cause for panic. My iron may be tanking out - anemia is an issue I've had before, and it would explain some of the tiredness, but not the other symptoms (except perhaps the acid reflux).

I guess I need a new why because what I had wasn't strong enough to overcome the injury and the pain. I'm a little lost sometimes when my coworker tells me how much she respects me for what I've accomplished and all I see is my failure. I'm absolutely ashamed at how long I've let everything lapse and I don't know if I can face my PT and have to start all over again from ground zero.

I miss feeling strong. I miss feeling in control. I miss feeling like I'm accomplishing something. Perhaps that needs to be my why, to get back to that person who felt like she could do anything, be anything, even if she was still a little too fat.

I guess right now I need something external because I feel like I can't rely on myself anymore to do the right things. The plan is to respawn while I'm on vacation for three weeks and try to at least get back into the habit of regular workouts. We'll try and get new bloodwork and work on getting the food back under control when we're not dealing with holiday stress.

Thanks for listening.

-Betty-

I've been trying to get pregnant for close to 2 years now and really wanted to shed some pounds to see if that increases my chances, but also because if/when I DO get pregnant, I want to be healthy for the baby during pregnancy and afterwards. I just constantly think if I had gotten pregnant two years ago close to 300 lbs, and gained weight during pregnancy, how much harder it would have been for me to lose weight if I ever decided to do it.

So my why every month that I'm not pregnant is "Great, I have one more month of focusing on MY health in case I'm pregnant next month and have to focus on OUR health".

Well, 1) I want to be at a healthy weight 2) I want to go on holiday and not worry that I may not be fit enough to do some of the more physically demanding activities.

My why - because it's time.

Great read!! &Definitely so true!

bump

Because after being 143 and size 4 before meeting my boyfriend and now being 165 and a size 10, I feel like a big fat whale. I don't like feeling fat. It's uncomfortable. I may be perfectly in my BMI window right now, but I'm not happy.

BTW, I don't blame him for any of it. I'm the one that stuffed my face.

OP, I'm sorry about your mom. Nice job changing your mindset, defining your why, and doing what you need to do to be there for those you love.

I am turning 24 next month. I'm "obese" according to the BMI scale, but I don't feel that big. I'm also not especially self-conscious, although it sure was a confidence boost 35 pounds ago (before I had surgery, fell off the wagon in recovery, and gained it all back) when I was able to wear size medium shirts instead of extra large, and there weren't "fat rolls" on my back. My size doesn't bother me and I'm not in immediate mortal danger. I just want to be fit.

I want to be able to run if I need to get to a loved one in danger, or away from a crazy person. I want to be able to keep up with my younger brother (who is three years younger than I am, but in 2014 alone he ran six 5K races and did a stair climb to benefit a foundation for firefighters). I want to be strong enough to lift boxes the next time I move, which is in less than two years. I want to get some of this weight off my knees, hips, and especially my back. I have enough back problems and pinched nerves; it's something I hope will evaporate with more stretching and less weight. I don't want to get tired out easily, and I want my energy back. I have a lot of reasons that affect me in big ways every day, but still don't add up to the why I need to get my butt in gear the way I know I should.

But my real why is the effect I've had on others. When I had lost 35 pounds before, my best friend started losing weight, too. When I gained it all back, both of us lost our motivation. A recent ER visit confirmed my fears that my friend's health is much worse than I already knew it was. My friend has lost some weight - actually, about 25 pounds, which is awesome - and I'm really happy; I think if I start losing weight, it'll keep things rolling, and honestly, nothing would make me happier than to see my best friend get healthier.

Excellent post. I was thinking about this the other day - my WHY is that I want to be a healthy and active as long as possible. I want to be able to dance at my son's wedding (youngest is 2, so that's a ways off) and I want to be able to run around with my grandkids some day.

And I'm sick of saying I want to lose weight. I don't ever want to say that again. EVER.

palwithme wrote: »

I see people who are 10 or 15 years older than me really struggle with weight-related issues. I want to lose the extra weight now while I still have the time and energy to do so.

Good for you. I'm 67 and have been overweight for 25 years. The funny thing is, I'm a thin person stuck in this fat body. It's only when I look in the mirror that I remember what I'm living in. Well that is not totally true; I remember it well when I try to do something that my body won't allow.

My why is definitely to be healthier. I am Type II diabetic and there are probably 2 or 3 other medications that I can drop once I reach my goal weight. That alone will save money which is not a bad motivator. But the motivation is to be as healthy as I can.

I have a bad low back which limits the exercise I can do, but I have found some that I can. I am motivated every time I step on the scale and see it has gone down a pound. I have been at 230pounds for years and started on MFP in mid October. I am down 24 pounds and thrilled to death. I know when I reach 175 or 180 I'll be much more mobile and not have the back and leg aches. One doctor told me that my body wasn't built to carry around that much weight.

One day I was on the internet looking at possible vacation spots. I mentioned a couple to my husband and he said something to the effect of "you can't walk and go do or see anything, so why go on vacation". That really hurt, but being the truth it also hit home.
My why is I want to be able to enjoy my retirement and not let excess weight stand in the way. I can do this!!

Why?

Because I've been healthy before. I found myself constantly talking about what I "used to" be able to do. I realized that being proud of who I was then keeps me talking about it. If I get rid of the "I used to" talk, I can start working on the "I will" talk and at some point be back to "I can". I can be proud of who I am again. That's a huge goal so I focus on smaller things to be proud of during my journey. The journey is something to be proud of in itself. Making myself and all of those who believe in me proud is my why.