One of my teenagers is a thief!
Replies
-
She has always been pretty independent but she is kind and funny0
-
-
I'm pretty young, 23, but my advice? I'd get the police involved. Stealing is a pretty serious matter and she either needs professional help because there is something wrong with her, or she needs to be scared straight.
Once, my mom was working at a preschool where a four or five year old stole her (my mom's pen). My mom was very clear in telling this girl that taking something that doesn't belong to her is stealing. It just happened that, on the same day, a police officer was there to visit the preschool. It was just a coincidence, but it was enough to prove a point to the little girl.
Theft is a crime.0 -
honestly it sounds like she needs therapy and attention0
-
Is she the middle child? Nah, just joking.
It seems weird that she is stealing stuff for no apparent reason. Perhaps it's just an attention seeking thing? It would be rather annoying, I hope you find a solution. I don't want my kids to grow up
0 -
I love how people assume I am not punishing her for her stealing. The thing is all of us hang out and talk all the time. We seem to have a good family connection we talk. She gets very angry and mean when I bring up the stealing. She does get punished and she does get caught. I am a responsible parent. I check my kids messages and phones and make sure they are making good choices.
The punishments I have given her just are not working! Right now she is grounded from all electronics including her phone and has no door on her room.
It's almost like she is in jail already.....
0 -
I agree I think this is what she needs and perhaps some different friendssalembambi wrote: »honestly it sounds like she needs therapy and attention
0 -
I'd steal stupid things as a teenager just for the rush. Cheap jewelry from a teen store in the mall, lipsticks from my aunt's house, perfume from a friend's mom. Nothing I ever even wanted or desired. I was a sh*tty kid though in a sh*tty situation. It was just acting out.
You mentioned you have five kids. Is she getting enough individual time? Looks like she's stealing things to fill time with. Maybe have a mom-and-me day every so often.
Also, when I went thru my little klepto phase I remember my mom would shake me down as soon as I came in the door. Pat down, bag check, empty pockets. Super embarrassing, especially if I had someone with me. But it was pretty effective.0 -
Corporal punishment.0
-
I had one who was caught shoplifting at the local grocery. Stupid stuff-- toiletries I would have gotten if she'd asked. Never got a straight answer out of WHY she was doing it.
Luckily the store didn't press charges. (Having an 8-month pregnant mama show up in hysterical tears chewing out the thieving child may have helped. I think they were afraid I'd have the baby then and there.) Daughter was under **house arrest** when she got home. She went nowhere except school and straight back home, driven both ways. I informed the school teachers that supervised the activities she was in (newspaper and drama) why she was being pulled out of their program immediately.
House arrest continued for a few months. She was eventually paroled when she completed a lengthy writing assignment my husband and I assigned. We are Catholic so we assigned her HARD challenging reading from the Catechism and Thomas Aquinas. She had to discuss in her paper matters pertaining to theft, dishonesty, pride, and I forget what else. (I figured while we had her, we would address *all* the issues that had been bubbling for a while.)
She hated us while we were doing it.
She has since turned things around unbelievably. Straight A college student majoring in (don't laugh) CRIMINAL JUSTICE, because she wants to catch bad guys and put them away.
She was also in therapy at the time. I can't recommend enough finding a good counselor that a troubled teen can talk to-- even if the trouble is entirely of their own making, they need help from someone NOT MOM OR DAD who can help them look at what's going on and figure out how to make better decisions.
I hope this helps. Don't be down on yourself-- this is not a reflection of your parenting.0 -
Involve law enforcement and even a stint in public service and/or detention center time. Grown up thieves started out a young thieves. Unless they are deterred now (and I'm not just talking about being talked to), chances are they will end up being part of the system out of continual habit.
I stole a candy bar from the commissary one base one time and got caught. Not only was it posted in the base paper with my father's name on it, but I ended up doing community service (picking up trash) for a day in all the parks. Never did it again.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
redmeg1972 wrote: »I had one who was caught shoplifting at the local grocery. Stupid stuff-- toiletries I would have gotten if she'd asked. Never got a straight answer out of WHY she was doing it.
Luckily the store didn't press charges. (Having an 8-month pregnant mama show up in hysterical tears chewing out the thieving child may have helped. I think they were afraid I'd have the baby then and there.) Daughter was under **house arrest** when she got home. She went nowhere except school and straight back home, driven both ways. I informed the school teachers that supervised the activities she was in (newspaper and drama) why she was being pulled out of their program immediately.
House arrest continued for a few months. She was eventually paroled when she completed a lengthy writing assignment my husband and I assigned. We are Catholic so we assigned her HARD challenging reading from the Catechism and Thomas Aquinas. She had to discuss in her paper matters pertaining to theft, dishonesty, pride, and I forget what else. (I figured while we had her, we would address *all* the issues that had been bubbling for a while.)
She hated us while we were doing it.
She has since turned things around unbelievably. Straight A college student majoring in (don't laugh) CRIMINAL JUSTICE, because she wants to catch bad guys and put them away.
She was also in therapy at the time. I can't recommend enough finding a good counselor that a troubled teen can talk to-- even if the trouble is entirely of their own making, they need help from someone NOT MOM OR DAD who can help them look at what's going on and figure out how to make better decisions.
I hope this helps. Don't be down on yourself-- this is not a reflection of your parenting.
Thank you0 -
redmeg1972 wrote: »I had one who was caught shoplifting at the local grocery. Stupid stuff-- toiletries I would have gotten if she'd asked. Never got a straight answer out of WHY she was doing it.
Luckily the store didn't press charges. (Having an 8-month pregnant mama show up in hysterical tears chewing out the thieving child may have helped. I think they were afraid I'd have the baby then and there.) Daughter was under **house arrest** when she got home. She went nowhere except school and straight back home, driven both ways. I informed the school teachers that supervised the activities she was in (newspaper and drama) why she was being pulled out of their program immediately.
House arrest continued for a few months. She was eventually paroled when she completed a lengthy writing assignment my husband and I assigned. We are Catholic so we assigned her HARD challenging reading from the Catechism and Thomas Aquinas. She had to discuss in her paper matters pertaining to theft, dishonesty, pride, and I forget what else. (I figured while we had her, we would address *all* the issues that had been bubbling for a while.)
She hated us while we were doing it.
She has since turned things around unbelievably. Straight A college student majoring in (don't laugh) CRIMINAL JUSTICE, because she wants to catch bad guys and put them away.
She was also in therapy at the time. I can't recommend enough finding a good counselor that a troubled teen can talk to-- even if the trouble is entirely of their own making, they need help from someone NOT MOM OR DAD who can help them look at what's going on and figure out how to make better decisions.
I hope this helps. Don't be down on yourself-- this is not a reflection of your parenting.
Love everything about this!0 -
missiontofitness wrote: »redmeg1972 wrote: »I had one who was caught shoplifting at the local grocery. Stupid stuff-- toiletries I would have gotten if she'd asked. Never got a straight answer out of WHY she was doing it.
Luckily the store didn't press charges. (Having an 8-month pregnant mama show up in hysterical tears chewing out the thieving child may have helped. I think they were afraid I'd have the baby then and there.) Daughter was under **house arrest** when she got home. She went nowhere except school and straight back home, driven both ways. I informed the school teachers that supervised the activities she was in (newspaper and drama) why she was being pulled out of their program immediately.
House arrest continued for a few months. She was eventually paroled when she completed a lengthy writing assignment my husband and I assigned. We are Catholic so we assigned her HARD challenging reading from the Catechism and Thomas Aquinas. She had to discuss in her paper matters pertaining to theft, dishonesty, pride, and I forget what else. (I figured while we had her, we would address *all* the issues that had been bubbling for a while.)
She hated us while we were doing it.
She has since turned things around unbelievably. Straight A college student majoring in (don't laugh) CRIMINAL JUSTICE, because she wants to catch bad guys and put them away.
She was also in therapy at the time. I can't recommend enough finding a good counselor that a troubled teen can talk to-- even if the trouble is entirely of their own making, they need help from someone NOT MOM OR DAD who can help them look at what's going on and figure out how to make better decisions.
I hope this helps. Don't be down on yourself-- this is not a reflection of your parenting.
Love everything about this!
Me too!0 -
I love how people assume I am not punishing her for her stealing. The thing is all of us hang out and talk all the time. We seem to have a good family connection we talk. She gets very angry and mean when I bring up the stealing. She does get punished and she does get caught. I am a responsible parent. I check my kids messages and phones and make sure they are making good choices.
The punishments I have given her just are not working! Right now she is grounded from all electronics including her phone and has no door on her room.
It's almost like she is in jail already.....
I would try taking away her freedom next… Ground her from going out with friends. And definitely look for a therapist in your area!0 -
I had this issue, I called the local sheriff dept. and spoke to a deputy, he came by and had a 'chat' and the stealing stopped.0
-
Thanks all for your input I am off to bed I hope you all have a goodnight0
-
missiontofitness wrote: »redmeg1972 wrote: »I had one who was caught shoplifting at the local grocery. Stupid stuff-- toiletries I would have gotten if she'd asked. Never got a straight answer out of WHY she was doing it.
Luckily the store didn't press charges. (Having an 8-month pregnant mama show up in hysterical tears chewing out the thieving child may have helped. I think they were afraid I'd have the baby then and there.) Daughter was under **house arrest** when she got home. She went nowhere except school and straight back home, driven both ways. I informed the school teachers that supervised the activities she was in (newspaper and drama) why she was being pulled out of their program immediately.
House arrest continued for a few months. She was eventually paroled when she completed a lengthy writing assignment my husband and I assigned. We are Catholic so we assigned her HARD challenging reading from the Catechism and Thomas Aquinas. She had to discuss in her paper matters pertaining to theft, dishonesty, pride, and I forget what else. (I figured while we had her, we would address *all* the issues that had been bubbling for a while.)
She hated us while we were doing it.
She has since turned things around unbelievably. Straight A college student majoring in (don't laugh) CRIMINAL JUSTICE, because she wants to catch bad guys and put them away.
She was also in therapy at the time. I can't recommend enough finding a good counselor that a troubled teen can talk to-- even if the trouble is entirely of their own making, they need help from someone NOT MOM OR DAD who can help them look at what's going on and figure out how to make better decisions.
I hope this helps. Don't be down on yourself-- this is not a reflection of your parenting.
Love everything about this!
Me too!
I want to add as well; keep strong and keep at it. You've already laid down a good foundation to address this. It will probably be tough; I know as a former teenager we have quite the colorful vocabulary and set of lungs on us; but just keep at it! I really hope you have a positive resolutoin to all this.
0 -
missiontofitness wrote: »missiontofitness wrote: »redmeg1972 wrote: »I had one who was caught shoplifting at the local grocery. Stupid stuff-- toiletries I would have gotten if she'd asked. Never got a straight answer out of WHY she was doing it.
Luckily the store didn't press charges. (Having an 8-month pregnant mama show up in hysterical tears chewing out the thieving child may have helped. I think they were afraid I'd have the baby then and there.) Daughter was under **house arrest** when she got home. She went nowhere except school and straight back home, driven both ways. I informed the school teachers that supervised the activities she was in (newspaper and drama) why she was being pulled out of their program immediately.
House arrest continued for a few months. She was eventually paroled when she completed a lengthy writing assignment my husband and I assigned. We are Catholic so we assigned her HARD challenging reading from the Catechism and Thomas Aquinas. She had to discuss in her paper matters pertaining to theft, dishonesty, pride, and I forget what else. (I figured while we had her, we would address *all* the issues that had been bubbling for a while.)
She hated us while we were doing it.
She has since turned things around unbelievably. Straight A college student majoring in (don't laugh) CRIMINAL JUSTICE, because she wants to catch bad guys and put them away.
She was also in therapy at the time. I can't recommend enough finding a good counselor that a troubled teen can talk to-- even if the trouble is entirely of their own making, they need help from someone NOT MOM OR DAD who can help them look at what's going on and figure out how to make better decisions.
I hope this helps. Don't be down on yourself-- this is not a reflection of your parenting.
Love everything about this!
Me too!
I want to add as well; keep strong and keep at it. You've already laid down a good foundation to address this. It will probably be tough; I know as a former teenager we have quite the colorful vocabulary and set of lungs on us; but just keep at it! I really hope you have a positive resolutoin to all this.
Thanks so much for the positive outlook, I will try.
Many blessings to all of you0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.7K Getting Started
- 260.1K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.8K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 415 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.9K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.6K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.5K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions