Fat girl complex

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  • TexasNurseMom78
    TexasNurseMom78 Posts: 897 Member
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    I am down 50lb, which is great I know, and I still ahve abour 50 more to go at least. SO I am not totally out of the "fat girl" phase of my life. But I do find it hard to believe compliments people give me now and in my head i still feel as big as I was some days.
  • AmberBarrios
    AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
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    So glad to see I am not the only one! I totally conqured the amusement park ride thing two weeks ago yeah!
  • mommybgood
    mommybgood Posts: 19
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    A few months after having my last child I went out to eat with my husband and couldn't fit in a booth. That was the last straw for me. I'm down almost 80lbs, but still cringe when I'm shown to a booth at a restaurant. Plastic chairs horrify me, especially the ones with the arm rests because my butt used to get stuck. When people pass me on the street and smile, a little part of me still feels like they're laughing.
    Yeah, I definitely have the fat girl complex.
  • brandy2076
    brandy2076 Posts: 37 Member
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    I agree. I also hate when people tell me how great I look. It just makes me that much more aware of how I used to look. And I still have a long way to go - but I don't know if I will ever be happy.
  • AmberBarrios
    AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
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    OMG I totally forgot about the booth thing!!! I too was horrified when we would go to a restaurant and they would show us to a booth. I now can fit in them but still cringe a little thinking in my head what if I don't fit! Also hate the plastic chairs cause my butt too would get stuck or squish out the side and I was always terrified that it would break. I still find it odd when a guy looks at me and smiles, other than my husband, I always think "what is his problem!" LOL

    Funny, well not really funny story. What kind of pushed me to start this whole journey, other than a general disgust of how far I had let it go and how nothing ever fit and all those things, was one day at wal-mart. My husband and I had gone to wal-mart to buy new camping chairs for a trip to the river that weekend, as we were looking at the chairs my husband was intently examining the label. My husband never reads labels so I was courious and asked what he was looking at, he looked up at me and just said oh nothing. Later putting the chairs in the car I saw him looking at it again and I said "what is so interesting about the label?" He said quietly "I was checking the weight limit to make sure you can sit in it." at first I was disgusted at him for thinking such a thing then later that day I was disgusted with me! I couldn't believe I had gotten to a point that my husband felt it neccessary to check weight limits on chairs.

    That and a HORRIBLE photo of me were the straw that broke the camels back and I said to myself, no way am I going to let this get worse! And one year later (today is my one year anniversary of the beginning of the new me) I am happy to say I can do things today that I haven't been able to do since before I had my daughter 11 years ago! I can run more than to the kitchen! I can get off the floor without assistance! I can ride any ride at an amusement park cause I no longer exceed the weight limit! I am down almost 60lbs (been stuck since january, but won't give up) and down from a size 24 jeans to a loose size 18. I look and feel like a new person and I hope that when I hit my 2 year anniversary I will be able to say all these things and more!
  • PrairieRoseNE
    PrairieRoseNE Posts: 265 Member
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    Here's another perspective - I've lost 40+ pounds and I look in the mirror and think "Hey, lookin' good".......until I step on the scale and I see how much I STILL weigh....and then I think "How can I still weigh this much???!!!!" And when I check my BMI and it still says obese - I wanna cry. My hubby, in an effort to cheer me up says, "Maybe you just have heavy bones??" :-) Thanks honey, but the scale doesn't lie.

    However, I know I've made progress because I've dropped from size 26 to size 18 and I've steadily been able to pack away my "fat girl" clothes.

    So I don't think of myself as a Fat Girl (maybe a bit plump yet) but I have no clue what other people think when they see me??

    Therefore, until the BMI says normal - I'll just have to keep plugging away!
  • fcrisswell
    fcrisswell Posts: 234 Member
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    everyday. and i was truly at one point a fat girl

    Ditto!

    I still gravitate towards the plus sizes and it's been over 3 years since I wore them!
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
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    My hubby, in an effort to cheer me up says, "Maybe you just have heavy bones??" :-) Thanks honey, but the scale doesn't lie.

    Actually, the scale CAN lie... and BMI is only "accurate" for "average" people. It was created to study communities, not individuals.

    Yes, many people use "I just have big bones" as an excuse for being overweight but... some people do actually have big bones. Likewise, some have small bones.

    http://www.dietandfitnesstoday.com/bodyFrame.php - uses elbow width or wrist circumference to determine frame size. For small frames, subtract 10% from ideal weight ranges, for large frames add 10%.
  • ppiinnkkmmoonn
    ppiinnkkmmoonn Posts: 418
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    everyday. and i was truly at one point a fat girl

    Ditto!

    I still gravitate towards the plus sizes and it's been over 3 years since I wore them!


    LOL i still do it too lol just to see if the clothes look better.
  • PrairieRoseNE
    PrairieRoseNE Posts: 265 Member
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    My hubby, in an effort to cheer me up says, "Maybe you just have heavy bones??" :-) Thanks honey, but the scale doesn't lie.

    Actually, the scale CAN lie... and BMI is only "accurate" for "average" people. It was created to study communities, not individuals.

    Yes, many people use "I just have big bones" as an excuse for being overweight but... some people do actually have big bones. Likewise, some have small bones.

    http://www.dietandfitnesstoday.com/bodyFrame.php - uses elbow width or wrist circumference to determine frame size. For small frames, subtract 10% from ideal weight ranges, for large frames add 10%.


    Thank you!!
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I try to avoid mirrors or any shiny surfaces at all cost 'cause I just can't take what I see. It'll probably continue even when I lose my extra 82. :/ Complex to the MAX.
  • mfkfoster
    mfkfoster Posts: 331 Member
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    I have lost 45 pounds but still needing to lose 79 put me in the still fat zone. I totally have the fat girl conplex. I still won't sit in plastic chairs because I think they won't hold my weight. I still go for the bigger clothes because I can't believe I fit in a 18W. I don't know if I can ever get rid of the Fat Girl in me but I know I want the Healthy One to show.
  • yes_i_can
    yes_i_can Posts: 419
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    I know what you mean, and I encourage you to do what you can to change that perception. About 6 years ago I lost 85 pounds and was the thinnest I'd been in my adult life. But, like you're describing, I never saw myself any differently. In my eyes I was still bigger than everyone.

    That, I believe, is a big part of why I gained it back. If you don't see it coming off, you don't see it going back on until it's too late to be easily managed.

    Embrace your current size and make yourself notice the differences. And, when you get to your goal, don't accept yourself as a "former fat girl", edit that out and live as a "healthy, thin girl". That is my plan, and I'm hoping that this time it will equal success when I get to the maintenance stage of things...
  • craft338
    craft338 Posts: 870 Member
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    yeah, i still get nervous going into restaurants with booths cuz i used to not fit. now i fit, with room to spare, but i still get a weird feeling, like "omg, should i ask for a table instead??"

    AND the last couple times i went clothes shopping, i KEPT trying on clothes that were too big for me even though i KNOW i went down a size. it's like i keep thinking that the last thing that fit me was mislabeled and i'm still the bigger size.
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Definitely. I'm afraid that if I even go look at my size in a store I'm going to get crazy looks from the other people because I still look fat or something.
  • dmoses
    dmoses Posts: 786 Member
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    I'm still afraid to sit on an exercise ball for fear of it bursting... :frown:
  • Ceylon_Sapphire
    Ceylon_Sapphire Posts: 11
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    Every day I face the challenge of looking at myself and seeing that 'Fat Girl'. :brokenheart: all my life was told, change those clothes, you look too fat in them. (I was 65kg and 32cm waist) What a joke? :explode: NOW, 30 years on - I am that fat girl with a 52 inch waist and hips to prove it. Never have felt good about myself. Never have been told either. :cry:

    BUT I am changing; I openly say I am fat, I openly say I have to do something about being fat. :happy: NOW, I am making a stand for myself. :happy: I am speaking out and I am liking it. :happy: People I work with and my immediate family are now noticing me and showing me respect. :happy: I even have said, no thank you, I do not think that chair will take my weight. And I stand. :happy:

    I have now made the decision to give myself weekly challenges to myself. This week - I chose to say openly - 'I am fat and I am changing myself.'

    I feel good. for the first time in a long time.:happy:

    Thank you kindly for placing this topic. Many a time I have had those same thoughts.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    It's funny because I've lost 80 lbs since January 2010, and I have just recently gotten to a point where I look in the mirror and see myself as being a small person. I don't call myself "thin" or "skinny" because I still have some midsection fat that has to go, but I am a short/small-framed person (who frequently gets called "tiny" now ... imagine that), and the overall size of my body is pretty much where I want it to be. I can see collar bones and deltoids and obliques and quads and hamstrings and things I could never see before, so I know I look like a "normal" person now and not a fat person.

    However, I do still think of myself as a chubby girl. And I still think every guy who glances at me for longer than 2 seconds is a creeper. Don't even get me started on the near-hyperventilation that occurs when one of them actually comes over to talk to me. It's definitely still something that I'm having to work through.
  • Matchamatcha
    Matchamatcha Posts: 158 Member
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    I definitely had the fat girl complex. I actually think I look ok now, although I want to look better. What I mean is, I don't put my entire worth/self esteem in how I look, and I still see the good points in how I look even though there are also bad.

    I had to really work at it though. As a teenager I lost about 10kg/20lbs through being miserable and having no appetite, everyone complimented me on how good I looked, I just couldn't see it. I thought I still looked the same, did not feel slimmer or prettier at all. I remember being so surprised that I had to buy a few sizes smaller jeans, like it was a fluke or something, even that wasn't enough. I simply couldn't see the difference in my body. But thinking back, I was so much smaller!

    So now that I'm in a better place, I think I'll be ok as the weight comes off. When I've lost the weight and I'm toned and slim, I plan to enjoy the hell out of it. And if I feel uncomfortable, I will squash that discomfort and fake it til I make it! :)
  • wvmark41
    wvmark41 Posts: 124 Member
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    I never really thought about it, but I guess it has happened to me... except it was fat GUY complex.

    When I was younger and hand the 6-pack abs & firm pecs happening, I didn't mind taking my shirt off to work in the yard, or swim, or jog..... Now, there's no way I'd want to do that, even though my beer belly & man-boobs are almost all gone.

    Maybe I'll start going topless sometime this summer after I lose another 20 pounds. Who wants pics?!?!?!?!? (girls only, please).


    OH... and some advice for the ladies.... get rid of that complex when you're talking to a man. Some of us guys just want to have a friendly conversation with someone fun. Just be yourself and have fun.

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