Not telling friends and family

I did the same thing this time, in fact I went out of my way not to share my goals or intentions with anyone. However, people did notice when I started ordering differently when eating out, or when I choose to do something different at home for meals. I just very casually said I'm trying to be more health conscience. Once I lost the first 25lbs, people started asking, but that was 3 months in and most people were already comfortable with the way I was eating, so it wasn't a big deal.

For me, it was better to keep it to myself since I was doing it for myself. As other people comment and take notice, I just brushed it off and didn't make a big deal. It also helped that I started at the beginning of fall so I was able to cover a lot with more clothing. But I feel I've been more successful keeping it to myself.

My family is not very supportive so I'm doing much better without them:) I only hear from them how terrible I look how fat I am and when last time I lost weight no one said I look great except my mfp friends:) my mum started by saying I'm too thin and look terrible once again and I was 128lbs so I definitely wasn't too thin for my 5'5". Anyway... With my family I always feel like I fail whatever I do. I'm now 140 lbs and on my way to loose the extra weight again on my own and decided to not listen to them anymore.

Previously I found the best support right here on MFP. I lost over 50 lbs before and was running a lot as well. When I stopped logging for some reason I stopped caring lol. I ended up gaining everything back plus some. Good luck YOU GOT THIS!!!!

My hubby knew but I was mum with everyone else until I experienced my first big success, six months after I started. Then I knew that this time was a life-changer. After that, nobody could shut me up. I still got opposition and unsolicited advice (not hubby, he watches on in bemused wonder) but it doesn't matter. I know what I want.

MidgekinRN wrote: »

Thank you guys so much, all of these responses make me feel much less crazy lol.

Sercee, I totally understand, I don't know what it is about being told I have to do something even if its something i wanted to do anyway makes it much less enjoyable!

Would you be comfortable with starting or joining a weight loss group at work or in town so that you can both provide support and get support in an appropriate setting?

I haven't told anyone I know IRL- beyond the people I live with- that I am trying to lose weight. I get enough support from internet strangers when I want it.
I've been pretty succesful so far and feel good about keeping it mostly to myself.

Really, you want support from people who are truly supportive and won't stress you out in the process. With me, I knew my family meant well, and wanted to be helpful, but after 30 years of them stressing me out about it - I just frankly didn't want their help. The people I knew at work, however, I knew could be supportive in a way that would be helpful. SO - I told a specific few of them. I remember a few months after starting, one of my directors got about 2 pounds of chocolates sent to him from a vendor. I didn't bother opening it, but knew what was inside and told him when he came in. He just smiled and said, "Why don't I take this and put it in my car...." I said, "THANK YOU!!!" I didn't want it to be open anywhere NEAR me or even anywhere in the office!

Anyway - be strategic about who you tell. There's no sin in it. I let my family in on it after a while (a couple of weeks). They've gotten better, but they still don't get it. I've lost 75 pounds, and they still want to do stuff like the Dr. Phil 20/20 diet. You'd think that they'd be asking me more questions, that maybe having lost that much would give me a certain amount of credibility, but not to them. Ugh. LOL

I am in the same boat as you. For some reason when I tell other people, I end up feeling like they're expecting me to do well, and it adds pressure that I just don't know how to deal with. It usually leads to me freaking out and giving up.

I don't know if this is related, but I also don't like all the unwanted advice I get from my family when I tell them I'm losing weight. I have an aunt in particular who likes to give weightloss advice (that is usually incorrect) even when I'm not asking for it. I feel like unless I am asking a person for advice, I don't think it's any of their business to comment on what I'm doing or not doing.

I am one of those people who absolutely did NOT tell a single soul what I was doing when I first started losing weight. My ex husband knew I was getting more exercise, of course, since I went from just hanging around the house to walking several miles almost every night!

By the time I joined MFP, I'd lost 45 lb very slowly. I told only TWO people (the guy I was dating who is now my husband, and 1 friend) I was joining the site to try and count calories. I was basically just giving calorie counting its fair shot. Not embarking on a life changing journey yadda yadda. I didn't expect it to work actually.

Then I started losing so much weight that people asked me about it daily. And I told a dozen or so people what was going on. And then they were like "OHHHH congrats I bet you feel grrreat" and after losing over 100 lb total from my heaviest, I posted a single before/after on facebook and got too much attention from it which made me feel all kinds of AWKWARD...so I took down the photo and ONLY talk about it here on MFP. Endlessly. But only here.

The end.

I know everyone's different but for real I DO NOT understand how some people can post pics every week on facebook of themselves in a sports bra and share it with everyone from their high school crush to their Aunt Bertha and their coworkers...or weigh-in weekly right in front of coworkers for a workplace weight loss contest. no no no no...I could not. Even now that I'm at a weight I don't mind everyone knowing...doing that stuff would make me want to DIE. LOL

MidgekinRN wrote: »

I can log on and read stories and ask advice but I can also very easily tune all that out if it gets to be too much!

Exactly.

_dracarys_ wrote: »

Because I would always be trying the next big diet/workout and failed at all of them, my family never took me seriously when I would say I'm doing X diet. So this time, I didn't really say anything. I let my actions and the results speak for themselves.

This is the same with me. I keep trying, and now its gotten to the point where they practically roll their eyes and make 'mmhmm' noises. This year I'm just going to do it.

I just finished a year and lost 115 pounds. My fiancé knew and one close friend. I clued my family in after the first 50 pounds (I live in a different city) because they are the most critical of me and I didn't want to hear any crap about how I was destined to fall off the wagon for the millionth time. I failed at this so many times in the past, that I decided I wouldn't talk about it, I'd just be about it. It spared me fad diet advice (until people started noticing on their own) after a year, I made one social media post about it and that was it. It felt good to keep it to myself. Let your results do the talking! I found it to be more peaceful. My mfp family has and continues to give me the motivation to continue! Sorry if this sounds negative, but people treat you differently and (I've found) unkindly once you reach certain levels of success. My bigger friends started to shun me and be rude to me and make hurtful comments about my newly smaller breasts and stuff like that. It's been a bizarre roller coaster. You've got this! Good luck!