Did people calling you fat or negative comments help you lose weight?

I've had a few incidents in my life: a kid at the pool who splashed me and told me I was fat, a great uncle who told me I was the fattest member of that family he'd ever seen, a co-worker who joked about it, etc. I think most people who've been heavy have run into this.

I remember them keenly, but I can't really say they did much to motivate me. I knew I was fat and didn't want to not be fat enough to make a permanent change.

My dad said he was gonna buy me a bra when I was 13. That bothered me.

No, I didn't want them to think they were the reason I was trying to lose weight, because people like that are disgusting.

dougpconnell219 wrote: »

My dad said he was gonna buy me a bra when I was 13. That bothered me.

My mom did the same except I was in high school.

Negative comments just make me sad and want to eat more and AVOID that person! However, I find positive comments are motivating!!!

Like someone else said, it depends on the person. The only people to ever insult me because of my weight were my grandparents on my mother's side. It didn't do anything except tick me off; I didn't find it inspiring. I knew I was fat, anyway. I'm motivated by my own desires. I want to feel better about who I see in the mirror, sure. But I'm also motivated by my desire to be healthier and more fit. What other people think of me along the way--or from where I start--means less than nothing.

atiral wrote: »

No, I didn't want them to think they were the reason I was trying to lose weight, because people like that are disgusting.

Oh yes! I agree. I didn't have a lot of people who (in the past) openly criticized my weight, but there was one RN at my previous job, a very bitter & angry 60-something lady, who made cruel comments that I heard about and one of my friends asked if I was going to facebook friend her just to show her that I lost weight and am now smaller than she is. Heck no...wtf!? She's disgusting to me.

The worst for me has always been doctors. All but the one I have now have gone on and on about me being morbidly obese and refusing to really help me with problems because well it'll stop if you lose weight. I had one recommend bariatriac surgery every time I saw him even though at the time I was working out 2-3 hours daily and dropping weight. I had one tell me that I needed to lose weight after I told him I sprained my knee because I fell while exercising. None of it ever helped. It made it really discouraging because some of my medical issues were actually interfering with my ability to lose weight.

The doctor I have now is way better. He didn't mention my weight my first visit and he talked to me about my blood work instead of being flustered because I'm actually very healthy despite my weight. When he finally did mention it he suggested that I try losing a pound a month before my next physical. That helped. I knew he took me seriously so I know I can trust his advice.

When I was a kid they used to have something called a 'husky' size codename for fat kid. I hated it then. i grew out of the weight naturally until later in my adult life but the word 'husky' was always a bad word.

it didn't really help me at first, but now that i've lost a decent amount of weight it keeps me going.

seltzermint wrote: »

No. It was totally opposite for me. When anyone commented negatively in any way about my weight, looks, size, etc, it made me NOT want to lose weight or change my habits at all. It made me fear exercising or eating lighter, lest I be criticized even further. It made me want to retreat into "safe" places with people who loved me and didn't criticize, and lots of yummy food, and my own "little happy world" ...

Same for me. Insults and criticisms have helped create my disordered eating, lack of self-esteem, social anxiety, enhance my depression, make me withdraw and not have contact with other people.

Nope. It made me hate them. Me wanting to do it made me lose weight. (Deliberate bad grammar there, I promise...literary license and all that...)

True story:

My brother-in-law's girlfriend, who is oddly prematurely aged but very thin (she has a model-shaped body underneath a sharpei exterior), seizure-texted me, text after text, one day this summer. She went on and on about how I could "save" my son (he is autistic) via various Dr. Mercola methods. She was trying to get me to listen to a podcast.

We were on vacation while she was doing this, and were on our way out the door. I had spoken to this woman three times, by the way. Yes, seriously, exactly three times. She didn't even start out her text with "This is M." I had to figure it out myself after the first three or four hyper texts right in a row. I even asked, "Is this M?" She didn't even answer me, just kept bulleting these texts at me about how I could "get my son back" (how weird...I thought he was right here).

I texted her that we were going out, but that I would listen to the podcast the following day. This seemed to anger her, and she freak-out texted me that it had to be THAT DAY, or else the podcast would be $50. I politely answered her that I would therefore be unable to listen, but would Google reviews of it as surely other people were listening to it.

That's when she started the serious abuse. She told me I was poisoning and killing my son and so on. I texted her, "M, we are still friends, but you have crossed a line. Please stop texting me about this issue. I will see you the next time we all meet up."

She answered me that everyone in the family says that the only thing my son will eat is GMO-wheat mac and cheese (um, what?), that she has seen how he eats (I reminded her that I WAS NOT THE ONE bringing "bad" foods to the gatherings and that he typically doesn't get those items), she accused me of never bringing food to gatherings (again, erm, what? This woman had been to THREE of them...all of which I had brought HEALTHY choices to, just as I have for the past 12 years of family gatherings, hello, I'm the one who is actually a part of this family), that if I were telling the truth, "You'd be thin, but you're obviously not," and that "the truth hurts" and I "shouldn't shoot the messenger."

I had to actually call my brother-in-law to ask him to shut her up. I couldn't even clear out my box of her texts (maybe 10-14 of them in a 5-minute period?) because I'd go to delete and I'd be interrupted with a popup announcing another one. She texted me that she was "deleting" me (we had NEVER texted nor called before this, um???), but on my birthday, sent this "apology": "I am sorry that you felt you needed to shoot the messenger, but I wish you a happy birthday."

I have seen her only once since then and didn't say a word to her. She is an absolute freak. I don't need that, and no, her "input" did not encourage me to lose weight...particularly not using her methods, because whatever she's doing, it looks like it involves meth. She is seriously haggard, is more skin-aged than my mother-in-law who is in her 70s, trembly, strange and obviously filled with anxiety and anger. Nope. Don't want what you're selling, lady.

When I was 10, I did let people calling me "fat" (I was 5'1" and 120 lbs.) influence me. Today? Fark that. I decided to lose weight because I DECIDED. Nothing anyone has ever said to me about it has influenced me one way or the other, because I am a grownup.

In my experience, negative motivation only works in the short term, if at all (for me it usually doesn't). If it does work, and the person making the comments is only doing so from a position of good intentions to help, then it falls into the tough love category. That love part is the critical one, as the vast majority of the time, such comments do not come from such a place, and you can label it a personal attack, imo.

For what it's worth, I think we all face and inflict personal attacks on a regular basis, and of varying levels, so in this company, I am happy to put a crack about weight. I would not be comfortable labelling it bullying, in my opinion, as that word is bandied about too freely these days, and I reserve only a sustained campaign of attack on someone with the only intention of bringing that person down, as warranting such a label.

In any event, I'm sure it all depends on the person, as mentioned. We all find motivation and inspiration in different ways, plus it all depends on where the person is at, and ultimately who they are and respond best to. Personally though, I have a very, very low opinion of those who are prone to provide unsolicited comments about weight, who I do not know personally or count amongst friends/ family. Plus I would argue for each such comment that has an ultimately positive on a person, many, many more people it just has a destructive impact