Did people calling you fat or negative comments help you lose weight?

jpaulie

When I was a kid they used to have something called a 'husky' size codename for fat kid. I hated it then. i grew out of the weight naturally until later in my adult life but the word 'husky' was always a bad word.

T1DCarnivoreRunner

It depends on who it is. If it is a complete stranger, I just figure they are rude and need to STFU and mind their own business. If it is an aquaintance or friend, it doesn't motivate me at all. The only time it would ever motivate me is if I really trusted that person and felt like there was not only genuine concern, but also a willingness to help me. Since I don't actually trust anyone that much, there isn't anyone who could motivate me by calling me fat.

bulbadoof

it didn't really help me at first, but now that i've lost a decent amount of weight it keeps me going.

troutrouter

I've never really cared what others think or say, except for my doctor.

zyxst

seltzermint wrote: »

No. It was totally opposite for me. When anyone commented negatively in any way about my weight, looks, size, etc, it made me NOT want to lose weight or change my habits at all. It made me fear exercising or eating lighter, lest I be criticized even further. It made me want to retreat into "safe" places with people who loved me and didn't criticize, and lots of yummy food, and my own "little happy world" ...

Same for me. Insults and criticisms have helped create my disordered eating, lack of self-esteem, social anxiety, enhance my depression, make me withdraw and not have contact with other people.

elsinora

Yeah, I mean it's all to do with context, if someone was like "oh get out of the way fatty" that's different to someone saying "yes, you asked, you're really overweight and unhealthy but you can change that". I have major trust issues with any form of compliment because I got the same when I was obese and guess what - at the time I was super happy - despite being huge because I genuinely could not see how big I was then.

LAWoman72

Nope. It made me hate them. Me wanting to do it made me lose weight. (Deliberate bad grammar there, I promise...literary license and all that...)

True story:

My brother-in-law's girlfriend, who is oddly prematurely aged but very thin (she has a model-shaped body underneath a sharpei exterior), seizure-texted me, text after text, one day this summer. She went on and on about how I could "save" my son (he is autistic) via various Dr. Mercola methods. She was trying to get me to listen to a podcast.

We were on vacation while she was doing this, and were on our way out the door. I had spoken to this woman three times, by the way. Yes, seriously, exactly three times. She didn't even start out her text with "This is M." I had to figure it out myself after the first three or four hyper texts right in a row. I even asked, "Is this M?" She didn't even answer me, just kept bulleting these texts at me about how I could "get my son back" (how weird...I thought he was right here).

I texted her that we were going out, but that I would listen to the podcast the following day. This seemed to anger her, and she freak-out texted me that it had to be THAT DAY, or else the podcast would be $50. I politely answered her that I would therefore be unable to listen, but would Google reviews of it as surely other people were listening to it.

That's when she started the serious abuse. She told me I was poisoning and killing my son and so on. I texted her, "M, we are still friends, but you have crossed a line. Please stop texting me about this issue. I will see you the next time we all meet up."

She answered me that everyone in the family says that the only thing my son will eat is GMO-wheat mac and cheese (um, what?), that she has seen how he eats (I reminded her that I WAS NOT THE ONE bringing "bad" foods to the gatherings and that he typically doesn't get those items), she accused me of never bringing food to gatherings (again, erm, what? This woman had been to THREE of them...all of which I had brought HEALTHY choices to, just as I have for the past 12 years of family gatherings, hello, I'm the one who is actually a part of this family), that if I were telling the truth, "You'd be thin, but you're obviously not," and that "the truth hurts" and I "shouldn't shoot the messenger."

I had to actually call my brother-in-law to ask him to shut her up. I couldn't even clear out my box of her texts (maybe 10-14 of them in a 5-minute period?) because I'd go to delete and I'd be interrupted with a popup announcing another one. She texted me that she was "deleting" me (we had NEVER texted nor called before this, um???), but on my birthday, sent this "apology": "I am sorry that you felt you needed to shoot the messenger, but I wish you a happy birthday."

I have seen her only once since then and didn't say a word to her. She is an absolute freak. I don't need that, and no, her "input" did not encourage me to lose weight...particularly not using her methods, because whatever she's doing, it looks like it involves meth. She is seriously haggard, is more skin-aged than my mother-in-law who is in her 70s, trembly, strange and obviously filled with anxiety and anger. Nope. Don't want what you're selling, lady.

When I was 10, I did let people calling me "fat" (I was 5'1" and 120 lbs.) influence me. Today? Fark that. I decided to lose weight because I DECIDED. Nothing anyone has ever said to me about it has influenced me one way or the other, because I am a grownup.

The_Fitness_Foodie

I was over weight from the age of 19, but it took me until I was 39 to actually acknowledge the reality that I was getting bigger & heavier with each passing year.

I have been called names or verbally abused because of my size by family members, mothers at the school gates & strangers in the street, to be honest I heard so many negative comments about my weight during those 20 years, that I couldn't even begin to list them.

Most of them just made me want to answer back with some equally cutting or insulting remark & I usually was very good at them (let's face it I had 20 years to refine witty/snarky retorts) but others seemed to cut me to the core & my head would play them over & over again, the only way to drown them out was to eat them into submission, adding yet more pounds to my every increasing waistline.

As for what inspired me to lose weight back in November 2012.... I think it was the fact that on my next birthday (October 2013) was going to turn 40 & I didn't want to be fat at 40....

Ironically enough I was recently accused of taking up a treadmill when I clearly don't need to - as I was stepping off a treadmill I said to a woman who was waiting to use it "It's busy her today isn't it" and she replied "yeah the place is filled with people like you..." so I replied "what do you mean by people like me?" Her response was "people like you who clearly don't need to be here!" so my response was "Love you don't look like you weigh 321lb" she said "No I don't thankfully" so I bit back and said "Well I USED to...." Then I stormed off before she could reply & before I punched her in the head.... I was bl00dy fuming!!

My story just goes to prove that you get criticism no matter what size you are, big, small, tall, short, fat or skinny - people who have no business doing so will judge you....

Anyway, I digress - I think that outside influences hindered my weight loss, it wasn't until I realised I had a problem that I chose to do something about it, now 26 months later I weigh 165lb, my starting weight (November 2012) was 321lb & I will NEVER EVER thank the fat haters - they are the ones with issues, they should mind their own business....!!

xXx

icrushit

In my experience, negative motivation only works in the short term, if at all (for me it usually doesn't). If it does work, and the person making the comments is only doing so from a position of good intentions to help, then it falls into the tough love category. That love part is the critical one, as the vast majority of the time, such comments do not come from such a place, and you can label it a personal attack, imo.

For what it's worth, I think we all face and inflict personal attacks on a regular basis, and of varying levels, so in this company, I am happy to put a crack about weight. I would not be comfortable labelling it bullying, in my opinion, as that word is bandied about too freely these days, and I reserve only a sustained campaign of attack on someone with the only intention of bringing that person down, as warranting such a label.

In any event, I'm sure it all depends on the person, as mentioned. We all find motivation and inspiration in different ways, plus it all depends on where the person is at, and ultimately who they are and respond best to. Personally though, I have a very, very low opinion of those who are prone to provide unsolicited comments about weight, who I do not know personally or count amongst friends/ family. Plus I would argue for each such comment that has an ultimately positive on a person, many, many more people it just has a destructive impact

NoelFigart1

I own a scale, a mirror and a measuring tape, so have a fairly exact idea what my body size is.

I would consider it pretty weak-minded to let my behavior be influenced by the cruelty of random strangers.

mrshewitt1975

I would have to say that I prefer honesty. I hate when people tell me, "Oh, you've had 4 kids" or "But you're so busy" or give any excuse to keep me this way. To me, it enables me. I start thinking..."maybe they're right, I HAVE had 4 kids, so it's OK that I'm a little overweight".

When someone calls me fat, or asks me when I'm due...I have an urge at that moment (first, to slap the *kitten* out of them), and then to go do a massive workout. I get my best workouts in when I've got those phrases going through my head. But, then again, I have an I'll-show-them attitude. I have actually begged my friends to be honest, and tell me that I'm fat and unhealthy, in order to help me stay motivated. God love them, they still don't want to hurt my feelings.

MarziPanda95

LAWoman72 wrote: »

Nope. It made me hate them. Me wanting to do it made me lose weight. (Deliberate bad grammar there, I promise...literary license and all that...)

True story:

My brother-in-law's girlfriend, who is oddly prematurely aged but very thin (she has a model-shaped body underneath a sharpei exterior), seizure-texted me, text after text, one day this summer. She went on and on about how I could "save" my son (he is autistic) via various Dr. Mercola methods. She was trying to get me to listen to a podcast.

We were on vacation while she was doing this, and were on our way out the door. I had spoken to this woman three times, by the way. Yes, seriously, exactly three times. She didn't even start out her text with "This is M." I had to figure it out myself after the first three or four hyper texts right in a row. I even asked, "Is this M?" She didn't even answer me, just kept bulleting these texts at me about how I could "get my son back" (how weird...I thought he was right here).

I texted her that we were going out, but that I would listen to the podcast the following day. This seemed to anger her, and she freak-out texted me that it had to be THAT DAY, or else the podcast would be $50. I politely answered her that I would therefore be unable to listen, but would Google reviews of it as surely other people were listening to it.

That's when she started the serious abuse. She told me I was poisoning and killing my son and so on. I texted her, "M, we are still friends, but you have crossed a line. Please stop texting me about this issue. I will see you the next time we all meet up."

She answered me that everyone in the family says that the only thing my son will eat is GMO-wheat mac and cheese (um, what?), that she has seen how he eats (I reminded her that I WAS NOT THE ONE bringing "bad" foods to the gatherings and that he typically doesn't get those items), she accused me of never bringing food to gatherings (again, erm, what? This woman had been to THREE of them...all of which I had brought HEALTHY choices to, just as I have for the past 12 years of family gatherings, hello, I'm the one who is actually a part of this family), that if I were telling the truth, "You'd be thin, but you're obviously not," and that "the truth hurts" and I "shouldn't shoot the messenger."

I had to actually call my brother-in-law to ask him to shut her up. I couldn't even clear out my box of her texts (maybe 10-14 of them in a 5-minute period?) because I'd go to delete and I'd be interrupted with a popup announcing another one. She texted me that she was "deleting" me (we had NEVER texted nor called before this, um???), but on my birthday, sent this "apology": "I am sorry that you felt you needed to shoot the messenger, but I wish you a happy birthday."

I have seen her only once since then and didn't say a word to her. She is an absolute freak. I don't need that, and no, her "input" did not encourage me to lose weight...particularly not using her methods, because whatever she's doing, it looks like it involves meth. She is seriously haggard, is more skin-aged than my mother-in-law who is in her 70s, trembly, strange and obviously filled with anxiety and anger. Nope. Don't want what you're selling, lady.

When I was 10, I did let people calling me "fat" (I was 5'1" and 120 lbs.) influence me. Today? Fark that. I decided to lose weight because I DECIDED. Nothing anyone has ever said to me about it has influenced me one way or the other, because I am a grownup.

Crikey! She sounds totally insane! Good on you for not letting such childish and rude behaviour get to you.

LAWoman72

sheldonz42 wrote: »

For me, negative comments are just piling on. I already know I am fat and don't need anyone to tell me - it is just depressing.

Are you kidding me? *kitten* them, honey! You are a handsome man. You know what's what, you don't need anyone's input, and hey...I'll bet there's a whole lot more going on in your life than weight loss. I'll bet you have interests...and a personality...and so on. It is NOT their business what YOUR body does and I'll bet there's plenty you could say about them that would be "keeping it real" and would send them out of the room crying. So...they should mind their house and you should mind yours, so to speak.

Pupslice

LAWoman72 wrote: »

Nope. It made me hate them. Me wanting to do it made me lose weight. (Deliberate bad grammar there, I promise...literary license and all that...)

True story:

My brother-in-law's girlfriend, who is oddly prematurely aged but very thin (she has a model-shaped body underneath a sharpei exterior), seizure-texted me, text after text, one day this summer. She went on and on about how I could "save" my son (he is autistic) via various Dr. Mercola methods. She was trying to get me to listen to a podcast.

We were on vacation while she was doing this, and were on our way out the door. I had spoken to this woman three times, by the way. Yes, seriously, exactly three times. She didn't even start out her text with "This is M." I had to figure it out myself after the first three or four hyper texts right in a row. I even asked, "Is this M?" She didn't even answer me, just kept bulleting these texts at me about how I could "get my son back" (how weird...I thought he was right here).

I texted her that we were going out, but that I would listen to the podcast the following day. This seemed to anger her, and she freak-out texted me that it had to be THAT DAY, or else the podcast would be $50. I politely answered her that I would therefore be unable to listen, but would Google reviews of it as surely other people were listening to it.

That's when she started the serious abuse. She told me I was poisoning and killing my son and so on. I texted her, "M, we are still friends, but you have crossed a line. Please stop texting me about this issue. I will see you the next time we all meet up."

She answered me that everyone in the family says that the only thing my son will eat is GMO-wheat mac and cheese (um, what?), that she has seen how he eats (I reminded her that I WAS NOT THE ONE bringing "bad" foods to the gatherings and that he typically doesn't get those items), she accused me of never bringing food to gatherings (again, erm, what? This woman had been to THREE of them...all of which I had brought HEALTHY choices to, just as I have for the past 12 years of family gatherings, hello, I'm the one who is actually a part of this family), that if I were telling the truth, "You'd be thin, but you're obviously not," and that "the truth hurts" and I "shouldn't shoot the messenger."

I had to actually call my brother-in-law to ask him to shut her up. I couldn't even clear out my box of her texts (maybe 10-14 of them in a 5-minute period?) because I'd go to delete and I'd be interrupted with a popup announcing another one. She texted me that she was "deleting" me (we had NEVER texted nor called before this, um???), but on my birthday, sent this "apology": "I am sorry that you felt you needed to shoot the messenger, but I wish you a happy birthday."

I have seen her only once since then and didn't say a word to her. She is an absolute freak. I don't need that, and no, her "input" did not encourage me to lose weight...particularly not using her methods, because whatever she's doing, it looks like it involves meth. She is seriously haggard, is more skin-aged than my mother-in-law who is in her 70s, trembly, strange and obviously filled with anxiety and anger. Nope. Don't want what you're selling, lady.

When I was 10, I did let people calling me "fat" (I was 5'1" and 120 lbs.) influence me. Today? Fark that. I decided to lose weight because I DECIDED. Nothing anyone has ever said to me about it has influenced me one way or the other, because I am a grownup.

jeez louise! i'm not a violent person but holy moly i'd have taken a baseball bat to that catcher's mitt. you have my sympathies having to deal with a person like that.

TheVirgoddess

I never expected to be treated differently because I was fat. And I never was. I think when we expect to be treated in a certain way, we're hypersensitive of comments and perhaps unknowingly twist them to fit our expectations.

I have no idea what celebrities say about fat people, because I don't care about celebrities.

So no, I didn't find my motivation from anyone else but me (well, and my blood work).

LAWoman72

Pupslice wrote: »

LAWoman72 wrote: »

Nope. It made me hate them. Me wanting to do it made me lose weight. (Deliberate bad grammar there, I promise...literary license and all that...)

True story:

My brother-in-law's girlfriend, who is oddly prematurely aged but very thin (she has a model-shaped body underneath a sharpei exterior), seizure-texted me, text after text, one day this summer. She went on and on about how I could "save" my son (he is autistic) via various Dr. Mercola methods. She was trying to get me to listen to a podcast.

We were on vacation while she was doing this, and were on our way out the door. I had spoken to this woman three times, by the way. Yes, seriously, exactly three times. She didn't even start out her text with "This is M." I had to figure it out myself after the first three or four hyper texts right in a row. I even asked, "Is this M?" She didn't even answer me, just kept bulleting these texts at me about how I could "get my son back" (how weird...I thought he was right here).

I texted her that we were going out, but that I would listen to the podcast the following day. This seemed to anger her, and she freak-out texted me that it had to be THAT DAY, or else the podcast would be $50. I politely answered her that I would therefore be unable to listen, but would Google reviews of it as surely other people were listening to it.

That's when she started the serious abuse. She told me I was poisoning and killing my son and so on. I texted her, "M, we are still friends, but you have crossed a line. Please stop texting me about this issue. I will see you the next time we all meet up."

She answered me that everyone in the family says that the only thing my son will eat is GMO-wheat mac and cheese (um, what?), that she has seen how he eats (I reminded her that I WAS NOT THE ONE bringing "bad" foods to the gatherings and that he typically doesn't get those items), she accused me of never bringing food to gatherings (again, erm, what? This woman had been to THREE of them...all of which I had brought HEALTHY choices to, just as I have for the past 12 years of family gatherings, hello, I'm the one who is actually a part of this family), that if I were telling the truth, "You'd be thin, but you're obviously not," and that "the truth hurts" and I "shouldn't shoot the messenger."

I had to actually call my brother-in-law to ask him to shut her up. I couldn't even clear out my box of her texts (maybe 10-14 of them in a 5-minute period?) because I'd go to delete and I'd be interrupted with a popup announcing another one. She texted me that she was "deleting" me (we had NEVER texted nor called before this, um???), but on my birthday, sent this "apology": "I am sorry that you felt you needed to shoot the messenger, but I wish you a happy birthday."

I have seen her only once since then and didn't say a word to her. She is an absolute freak. I don't need that, and no, her "input" did not encourage me to lose weight...particularly not using her methods, because whatever she's doing, it looks like it involves meth. She is seriously haggard, is more skin-aged than my mother-in-law who is in her 70s, trembly, strange and obviously filled with anxiety and anger. Nope. Don't want what you're selling, lady.

When I was 10, I did let people calling me "fat" (I was 5'1" and 120 lbs.) influence me. Today? Fark that. I decided to lose weight because I DECIDED. Nothing anyone has ever said to me about it has influenced me one way or the other, because I am a grownup.

jeez louise! i'm not a violent person but holy moly i'd have taken a baseball bat to that catcher's mitt. you have my sympathies having to deal with a person like that.

Well, she left me alone after that...but frankly, if she "brings up" the subject again, I absolutely will (I am not shy about things like this) politely and smilingly inform her that I have some health tips for her as well, as she seems to be suffering from anxiety and premature aging.

I have told my husband this and he is afraid, LOL.

But so far she's been good, and no more texts.

sheldonz42

LAWoman72 wrote: »

sheldonz42 wrote: »

For me, negative comments are just piling on. I already know I am fat and don't need anyone to tell me - it is just depressing.

Are you kidding me? *kitten* them, honey! You are a handsome man. You know what's what, you don't need anyone's input, and hey...I'll bet there's a whole lot more going on in your life than weight loss. I'll bet you have interests...and a personality...and so on. It is NOT their business what YOUR body does and I'll bet there's plenty you could say about them that would be "keeping it real" and would send them out of the room crying. So...they should mind their house and you should mind yours, so to speak.

Thanks for your kind words!

TimothyFish

I would have to say yes. I never saw myself as overweight until I heard someone comment on it.

Lourdesong

Nobody has ever bullied or been mean to me about my weight in my life, really. Closest thing was my dad expressing somewhat stern concern several times about my escalating weight in high school.

I don't know what kind of environment people live in where they find themselves tormented by random strangers, peers, and acquaintances for their weight. I'd probably be mortified and stunned.