Did people calling you fat or negative comments help you lose weight?

No. I was bullied relentlessly at school for a decade (for every reason under the sun by a dedicated group of classmates), and it had some pretty significant effects on my mental health. Negativity begets negativity. I cannot tolerate people who take it upon themselves to put others down with the intent of hurting them, and have never felt "motivated" by negative comments about my weight. People who say that shaming helped them are likely few and far between, and I don't know that "motivation to not have others be cruel to me" is a positive, sustainable source of motivation, though it may work for some. That still relies on what others think of you as a primary driving force, and that's unlikely to carry you through the long haul. Eventually the weight won't be there any more, and that negative motivation won't be either - where does that leave you?

When I was being teased for my weight, it didn't help motivate me to lose it. If anything, it reinforced my ideas that these people didn't care about me, so why would I take action on those comments? Unfortunately the negativity associated can also serve to reinforce the binge/emotional eating that results in a lot of peoples' extra weight.

I don't get negative comments about my weight any more, but I know what it's like. Now, a friend, family member or doctor sharing their concerns related to weight is a completely different story. Yes, I might have felt slightly defensive, but also understood that the defensiveness came from knowing that I wasn't attending to my health.

Never really received such negative comments (was never THAT fat), but I think I would've felt more motivated if I was critisized more.When I was getting started,I used to google stuff like 'fat people are repulsive','fat women are gross' etc for motivation lol.

Edit : But tbh, I think it really doesn't matter much what others say.You'll only do it when you've decided.

It didn't motivate me at all. In fact, my biological father calling me fat as a little kid has made a permanent impression in my mind. He and I never got along after that. It destroyed my self-esteem, my relationship with him, and it hit hard enough to send me into a depression. The fact is, I am overweight. But I don't/didn't need other people to point that out to me. The people making comments about my weight (the non-helpful comments) were making things more difficult. I had to want to change, but I needed the support of the people around me when I decided to make that change.

I had a friend who had lost a bunch of weight and she said what motivated her was someone asking her if she was pregnant. Well, I had 3 different people ask when I was due when I wasn't even pregnant. While it made me very sad, it didn't motivate me to get started. Now that I've lost some weight, the compliments actually make me a little uncomfortable. I guess for me the motivation is internal but thank God that I haven't had to deal with some of the mean people I've read about on this thread.

No.. Calling me fat does not make me want to loose weight. What motivates me is seeing myself in pictures. That keeps me going, but to each his own.

you betcha it did, THIER WEIGHT! as in i said see ya. no friend or loved one should ever make rude comments about you, weather it be weight, looks, smarts etc.

I've never had a friend or family member say anything negative to me about my weight. But a few comments from strangers have spurred me on, like the group of guys mooing at me from their car when I was out for a walk, or the uber-obvious up-and-down look of disgust from a host at a restaurant who seated us in a booth he damn well knew I wouldn't fit in. Despite having a mirror, a measuring tape, a scale and clothes that no longer fit, I hadn't really come to terms with the reality of my size and those moments were the slaps of reality I personally needed. they weren't my last straw nor do they define me, but those memories rattle around in my head when I want to wuss out of an intense workout.

No, it has the exact opposite effect. Negative comments make me feel like I shouldn't bother trying to lose weight, because these people (usually family members) will always see me as fat no matter how much I lose. Positive comments about how well things appear to be going are what inspire me.

I had a friend who constantly made fun of me for being a fat and calling a me a man. now im loosing so I wont hear that again. I shouldn't call him a friend he's just an a hole.

When I was a kid, I was told by my ballet teacher that I needed to "lose a few pounds."
I think I was 6...maybe 7 years old at the time?
And so began the battle with my weight, which was ridiculous because looking at my childhood photos, I was normal if not a little on the thin side.

I've been called fat by family members, classmates, kids on the bus. A pediatric doctor once told me that I'd never be thin. Everytime I see my current doctor, she reminds me that I'm overweight. I went to get her approval for joining a weightloss study years ago, and she told me that I needed to drop weight then...no kidding! That's why I was joining the weight loss study.

I've had fat jokes made at me from strangers in the mall or on the street. Because I apparently don't own a mirror or know by my general physical discomfort that I'm not skinny.

Never has this *kitten* motivated me, it only lowered my self worth and eventually made me sad and accepting of my fatness.

I think that unless it's encouraging and positive, people need to keep their comments to themselves. Even comments like "you've lost weight" sound like "wow - you were fat before" in my ears. Just say I look nice. Healthy. Pretty. There are so many descriptive words that can be used that don't reflect on my weight loss/gain.

What motivates me then? Climbing stairs without getting winded. Buying new jeans the next size down. Hitting new fitness milestones that I never dreamed I'd see. When my husband says he loves me, and I know it has nothing to do with the way I look.

In the military my core team took great pride in being non-PC. Whenever one of us on on the DL and gaining weight we had the "Fat Whacker" program which consisted of motivation via being beaten with a rubber hose whenever making poor diet/exercise decisions.

Decidedly not for everyone, but a great source of comedy and motivation for us.

As a child, I was motivated to lose weight by any and all comments (and I was not a fat child), but that was because I was afraid of the people doing the commenting.

I'm not afraid of anyone today, so unless this is a true "share" session - you know, you tell me I'm fat and what to do about it, I tell you what you can do about the bags under your eyes that are aging you by 15 years, advise you on how to cook a bit better (I mean...there's rare and then there's RARE, dear) or give you a gentle reminder that you don't seem to be disciplining your children with the correct combination of patience and firmness and they will likely grow up psychologically skewed - well then, slag off.

Love,

LAWoman72



ETA: Asking for advice directly is, of course, different. I come on here, and occasionally I ask for advice, and receive it - which is the difference between a jaw-dropping degree of intrusiveness, and helpfulness. At least by my definition.

I've been fat all my life and had to endure many rude comments and cruel taunts as a child later a teen and even as an adult. It never made me stop eating, it made me want to curl up in a ball and go find a quiet place and stuff my face. There is a difference between motivation and disrespect. Encouragement helps more than criticism, at least in my case.