Did people calling you fat or negative comments help you lose weight?

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  • lalepepper
    lalepepper Posts: 447 Member
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    No. I was bullied relentlessly at school for a decade (for every reason under the sun by a dedicated group of classmates), and it had some pretty significant effects on my mental health. Negativity begets negativity. I cannot tolerate people who take it upon themselves to put others down with the intent of hurting them, and have never felt "motivated" by negative comments about my weight. People who say that shaming helped them are likely few and far between, and I don't know that "motivation to not have others be cruel to me" is a positive, sustainable source of motivation, though it may work for some. That still relies on what others think of you as a primary driving force, and that's unlikely to carry you through the long haul. Eventually the weight won't be there any more, and that negative motivation won't be either - where does that leave you?

    When I was being teased for my weight, it didn't help motivate me to lose it. If anything, it reinforced my ideas that these people didn't care about me, so why would I take action on those comments? Unfortunately the negativity associated can also serve to reinforce the binge/emotional eating that results in a lot of peoples' extra weight.

    I don't get negative comments about my weight any more, but I know what it's like. Now, a friend, family member or doctor sharing their concerns related to weight is a completely different story. Yes, I might have felt slightly defensive, but also understood that the defensiveness came from knowing that I wasn't attending to my health.
  • emilymean
    emilymean Posts: 159 Member
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    I guess that would be an "awe, hell no" moment. No one dared to say a word to me, be it to spare my feelings, didn't care or too scared to ask. It was a doctor's visit that I finally snapped out of it, stepping on a real scale where I couldn't pretend it was "off" ~ also, none of my clothes fit and I was embarrassed to see family and friends. It really sucked. So, no, if anyone had told me I was fat I would have had a "fight or flight" response, most likely fight, and I'd forever hate that person or at least hate seeing them. Tough love doesn't work for everyone.
  • lavendah
    lavendah Posts: 126 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Never really received such negative comments (was never THAT fat), but I think I would've felt more motivated if I was critisized more.When I was getting started,I used to google stuff like 'fat people are repulsive','fat women are gross' etc for motivation lol.

    Edit : But tbh, I think it really doesn't matter much what others say.You'll only do it when you've decided.
  • Sophsmother
    Sophsmother Posts: 83 Member
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    Hell no. When I was little and chubby, my parents fat shamed me all the time. When I was in high school and college, people referred to me as the "big girl." And my parents still shamed me through my 20s and 30s. Losing weight out of shame and anger is not the way to start. Had shame and bullying been motivating to me, I would be rail thin.

    For long term success, which still eludes me somewhat, you need to embark on the journey from a realistic place. You want to be healthier, you want to feel better, move better, look better because you deserve all of that. Not because someone made you feel like *kitten*.
  • ems212
    ems212 Posts: 135 Member
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    It didn't motivate me at all. In fact, my biological father calling me fat as a little kid has made a permanent impression in my mind. He and I never got along after that. It destroyed my self-esteem, my relationship with him, and it hit hard enough to send me into a depression. The fact is, I am overweight. But I don't/didn't need other people to point that out to me. The people making comments about my weight (the non-helpful comments) were making things more difficult. I had to want to change, but I needed the support of the people around me when I decided to make that change.
  • xcalygrl
    xcalygrl Posts: 1,897 Member
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    The mean comments never made me want to do anything for myself except hope it would change. I was bullied a lot in school because I was the smart fat kid. The only reason the kids wanted to be my friend was to try to cheat off of my tests/homework.

    After years of being bullied, I got to the point where I didn't care. I can recall a few instances where I retaliated against the bullies that I'm not entirely proud of. I know that I should have reacted differently, but after years of being called fat, useless, the chubby one, and being made fun of for my mannerisms (i.e. having to pull my gym shorts down when they would ride up between my thighs), I had had enough of it. I did eventually use my size to my advantage: I could tackle and kick the bullies when they did/said mean stuff to me. I also got "as bad as them" with my words. They would call me names, I would call them names right back. I figured if they could dish it out they could take it.

    In the end, it was my health and own desire to lose weight that led me to lose weight. I didn't lose for anyone or because of something someone said/did to me.
  • kecmw25
    kecmw25 Posts: 2,743 Member
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    I had a friend who had lost a bunch of weight and she said what motivated her was someone asking her if she was pregnant. Well, I had 3 different people ask when I was due when I wasn't even pregnant. While it made me very sad, it didn't motivate me to get started. Now that I've lost some weight, the compliments actually make me a little uncomfortable. I guess for me the motivation is internal but thank God that I haven't had to deal with some of the mean people I've read about on this thread.
  • scare6jack37
    scare6jack37 Posts: 9
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    Negativity motivates me but I grew up in the UK where you either grow alligator blood or you kill yourself.
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
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    No.. Calling me fat does not make me want to loose weight. What motivates me is seeing myself in pictures. That keeps me going, but to each his own.
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
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    you betcha it did, THIER WEIGHT! as in i said see ya. no friend or loved one should ever make rude comments about you, weather it be weight, looks, smarts etc.
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
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    I was never overweight, but it only took one comment about how I was "filling out" to make me lose the 15-ish lbs I gained. I'm not mad at the person at all, I'm actually pretty grateful because I much prefer myself (inside and out) after I got into fitness.
  • CObluegrass
    CObluegrass Posts: 61 Member
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    I've never had a friend or family member say anything negative to me about my weight. But a few comments from strangers have spurred me on, like the group of guys mooing at me from their car when I was out for a walk, or the uber-obvious up-and-down look of disgust from a host at a restaurant who seated us in a booth he damn well knew I wouldn't fit in. Despite having a mirror, a measuring tape, a scale and clothes that no longer fit, I hadn't really come to terms with the reality of my size and those moments were the slaps of reality I personally needed. they weren't my last straw nor do they define me, but those memories rattle around in my head when I want to wuss out of an intense workout.
  • TheDarkestStar87
    TheDarkestStar87 Posts: 246 Member
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    Usually it would depress me rather than help apart from one incident last year:
    I was about a mile into a 6mile run when a bunch of teenage yobs slowed their car down near me and started shouting mean things (unimaginative things like "lardass" and "go fatty go"). That time it really spurned me on for some reason.
    It did help that I jogged past the same yobs about two miles down the road to see their car had broken down. Sometimes karma works instantly.
  • fireinwinter
    fireinwinter Posts: 1 Member
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    No, it has the exact opposite effect. Negative comments make me feel like I shouldn't bother trying to lose weight, because these people (usually family members) will always see me as fat no matter how much I lose. Positive comments about how well things appear to be going are what inspire me.
  • Sedna_51
    Sedna_51 Posts: 277 Member
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    Absolutely not. Negative comments about my weight just did more to convince me that my body wasn't worth caring about. It wasn't until people said to me "hey, you can be a beautiful sexy worthwhile person no matter what your BMI is" that I had the confidence to interact with my body instead of trying to forget I was in it.
  • JBcat123
    JBcat123 Posts: 211 Member
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    I had a friend who constantly made fun of me for being a fat and calling a me a man. now im loosing so I wont hear that again. I shouldn't call him a friend he's just an a hole.
  • FarmallMom71
    FarmallMom71 Posts: 49 Member
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    I agree with the people who said it depends on the person. Some people you can look at and laughingly say to yourself inside your head "whatever" ...and the right people say that stuff and it is a real "ouch" like a dagger to the heart- I've never let someone else's mean words be my motivation. Realize that sometimes people don't think before they speak & we've all done that at some point... I'm sassy though... That's usually when I ask if they've run out of things to talk about besides my big beautiful butt. o:) turn that table!
  • RememberWhy13
    RememberWhy13 Posts: 2 Member
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    When I was a kid, I was told by my ballet teacher that I needed to "lose a few pounds."
    I think I was 6...maybe 7 years old at the time?
    And so began the battle with my weight, which was ridiculous because looking at my childhood photos, I was normal if not a little on the thin side.

    I've been called fat by family members, classmates, kids on the bus. A pediatric doctor once told me that I'd never be thin. Everytime I see my current doctor, she reminds me that I'm overweight. I went to get her approval for joining a weightloss study years ago, and she told me that I needed to drop weight then...no kidding! That's why I was joining the weight loss study.

    I've had fat jokes made at me from strangers in the mall or on the street. Because I apparently don't own a mirror or know by my general physical discomfort that I'm not skinny.

    Never has this *kitten* motivated me, it only lowered my self worth and eventually made me sad and accepting of my fatness.

    I think that unless it's encouraging and positive, people need to keep their comments to themselves. Even comments like "you've lost weight" sound like "wow - you were fat before" in my ears. Just say I look nice. Healthy. Pretty. There are so many descriptive words that can be used that don't reflect on my weight loss/gain.

    What motivates me then? Climbing stairs without getting winded. Buying new jeans the next size down. Hitting new fitness milestones that I never dreamed I'd see. When my husband says he loves me, and I know it has nothing to do with the way I look.
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    I'd probably find it a little helpful. Especially if they would say something at like the +2 lbs level. I have really good self-image - too good. By the time I notice I'm like +10 or +15.

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