Not looking for pity, but why can't I do this??

Feel free to add me! Fellow mom. MFP is a great community and you'll find lots of support here.

Another fellow mom here! Just lost 25 lbs of baby weight, after not having any motivation. I joined a weight loss challenge and that was the motivation I needed! Please feel free to friend me. I have some tips I could give that worked for me! You can DO THIS!

jgnatca wrote: »

You have a lot of legitimate reasons for not losing the 100 pounds. You are in a terrible marriage. That takes a huge emotional and physical toll. You are emotionally isolated. It's eroding your feelings of self-worth. Is there a reason you haven't worked out why you haven't fixed the marriage yet (get counselling/leave/stay)?

^ ^ This.

So much of what I wanted to say after reading this has been said except for one thing. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. Many people feel like taking time to do their fitness program or to prepare healthy food is taking time away from their children or from others in their lives. But actually taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do for others. You want to be a good role model for your children. You want to be there for your children. You need to be present in their lives and be able to give them all that you can be. The only way that you can do that is to get healthy for yourself.

Support is critical and groups like this are here for you as you move forward on your journey. Please don't give up, don't lose sight of what your goals are - to be healthy for yourself and so you can be there for your children.

I'm so glad you posted here as a first step. Reaching out for help is hard, and you did it, so you are on the right track. It sounds like you might be clinically depressed, based on the feelings you described, especially if you've had them for a while. I have been there, I know it feels hopeless. I ended up in my doctors office sobbing one day, just because she asked "how are you today?" She put me on some meds, and I started seeing a therapist, and it made a world of difference.

Obviously I'm a stranger on the Internet, and I can't diagnose you, but if you are struggling with these feelings, it's going to be really hard to lose weight until you get help. It's not a failure of willpower or laziness, it's very real. I would forget about the weight loss thing entirely, and reframe it as taking care of yourself, mind and body. As others have said, you should look for someone non-judgmental to talk to. It can't hurt, right?!

You're going to be okay. Hang in there and find someone you trust to talk to - asap. You deserve to be happy and healthy.

I would like to add you so we can help each other. I know we must take one day at a time

I felt like I was reading this about myself! (except for the bad marriage). It's simple you have programmed your brain to believe you can not do it. You are what you perceive and life is what you make it. You can continue walking through life with a thorn on your side or you can choose to take the thorn out. I would suggest you hear Earl Nightingale "The strangest secret" on Record. Every single day you have to remind yourself that you are committed to your goal, every single day you have to fight. Don't allow negative thoughts to enter your mind and keep your mind clean. Today I worked out for the first time in many many months. I started to get scared when I felt the pain and I was struggling. For one second the thought of giving up working out crossed my mind, then I started laughing because I remembered that I am the only one who can decide when I am done. I finished the 45 minute work out and it was fun! It's all about how you see things. You are taking the right steps by finding support from people on the same boat. Use your elliptical and push pass the excuses, past the negativity, past all obstacles and just use it every single day for a few minutes. That elliptical is your best therapy. We can get through this! I have struggled with obesity for 13 years and now I am finally ready. I understand that only I can make the change necessary to see the results I want. Results are in direct proportion to your efforts, if you don't try you won't see results but if you do try well then you will see results. I just completed day 3 and I am not hungry, sad or miserable because I will simply not allow my mind to think that way. I am also 29 years old and a mother of 2. I refuse to go another decade hating who I am. Weight is something you can actually change! You can't grow taller or get shorter but you sure can be healthy. Follow me and we can share our journey! I welcome anyone to follow me. Thank you and good luck on your journey!

I know how you feel. I will be 29 next month, I married young and have 3 children. I have been a stay at home mom for a long time. While I wouldn't say I was stuck in a bad marriage it definitely has its ups and down (of course if you ask me tomorrow I might tell you different). I think my body image had really affected my marriage and my attitude towards life. I have no career skills and not much to offer, my self esteem has suffered tremendously. I have noticed that my attitude in the last couple of weeks has changed though. I feel more confident than I have in a long time. It's time for me to get off my a×× and do something with my life. I'm to young to feel this old. As crazy as it sounds I know once I decide to take control of my life and make changes it will be hard for me to not hate myself for not doing it sooner. I grew up comforting myself with food, I love to cook. You want to know what's crazy. I am practically setting my own children up for the same struggles I am facing, but yet at the same time feel like I am denying them some kind of weird heritage. I am from texas and my husband from louisiana. Letting go of some traditional foods is scary for me. I realized something though. I didn't get this size from eating a big Sunday dinner once a week. I got like this from eating those things all the time. I realized once I get to my goal weight my maintanence calories aren't crazy low. I can still eat that traditional Sunday dinner. As long as I am making healthier choices the majority of the time and try to stay active. This isn't goodbye to all those comforting foods. It's just saying you will see them later in moderation.

By the way, I do feel sorry for you, but in a good way, not a mean way.

New day new beginnings don't get upset with one bad meal look forward to next meal having better food choices