Do people treat you differently after you lost weight? Does it make you happy, or sad, or both?

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May33338
May33338 Posts: 300 Member
in Chit-Chat
I get attention from men who never even spared me a second in the past and I feel confused because I'm both flattered and offended at the same time because these are men who either worked or studied with me long before I lost the weight.
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  • Jagiri
    Jagiri Posts: 6 Member
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    I think I would feel the same way as you if people I knew reacted differently to me. Those men are sad for reacting the way they have. To me, it shows the depth of their character.
  • anadoesit
    anadoesit Posts: 442 Member
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    Interesting post. I started off about hmmm 5 years ago at about 215lbs there or thereabouts. I was like an invisible lump on a night out with my younger and glamorous friends. There is an actual weight/size point, at which, under that weight, I suddenly seem to come out of my invisible status and get attention. I think it's about the same number as when I go from Obese-->Overweight-->About 15lbs overweight. It also corresponds to a clothing size.

    It doesn't bother me at all, because I'm married and I don't need to pull but what I do find alarming is that when it first happened I kept thinking people were staring at me because I was pulling a long roll of loo roll on the bottom of my shoe! :)

    I personally have not met too many men who prefer larger women but I know they are out there. I think it's about confidence, too, and you carry yourself differently when you're not at war with your own body!
  • rashel1
    rashel1 Posts: 145 Member
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    People are shallow.... they just are. Embrace your new look and have a great time! U worked hard to get what u have now, why turn it into something negative.
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    Yes, but I've always been offended at what you mentioned lmao. I always give people that try that the eff off look. :3
  • May33338
    May33338 Posts: 300 Member
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    Thanks for all the awesome answers. Loved and appreciated all of them.
  • lindaland1
    lindaland1 Posts: 25 Member
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    I had lost 100lbs one year and I agree it was pretty offensive to get different reactions from people I had worked with for years before. I appreciated attention from people I had just met, but had very little patience with my workmates. These were people I worked with in a professional manor and dating had nothing to do with it, so to me, it was very offensive that they paid attention to me at that time when before they would pass without even looking at me.
  • May33338
    May33338 Posts: 300 Member
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    BLACKxLABEL wrote: »
    You get offended that people treat you differently after losing weight, yet, you would also probably be offended if they paid you no attention after you worked so hard to lose weight. Face it and get over it, it's the ugly reality. People don't pay slobs any attention. People that show pride in what they are/do attract attention.

    The reason I said that, was because I had been working with the guy for the past two years, his cubicle is right next to mine. He never once took any notice of me, but once I lost 15 pounds, which I did over a month and a half that I took off work, he suddenly walks over to me and asks me on a date even though he had the chance to do so the last two years. I used to weight 120 and now I weigh 105. Just wanted to explain that I found it surprising how he'd find 15 pounds a reason to not ask me out. He even told me that he was asking me out because I started looking attractive to him.
    Just wanted to offer an explaination.
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
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    ^ Lol, you can't decide what people are upset about because you are not them.
  • Daiako
    Daiako Posts: 12,545 Member
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    May33338 wrote: »
    BLACKxLABEL wrote: »
    You get offended that people treat you differently after losing weight, yet, you would also probably be offended if they paid you no attention after you worked so hard to lose weight. Face it and get over it, it's the ugly reality. People don't pay slobs any attention. People that show pride in what they are/do attract attention.

    The reason I said that, was because I had been working with the guy for the past two years, his cubicle is right next to mine. He never once took any notice of me, but once I lost 15 pounds, which I did over a month and a half that I took off work, he suddenly walks over to me and asks me on a date even though he had the chance to do so the last two years. I used to weight 120 and now I weigh 105. Just wanted to explain that I found it surprising how he'd find 15 pounds a reason to not ask me out. He even told me that he was asking me out because I started looking attractive to him.
    Just wanted to offer an explaination.

    People like what they like. Some dudes like long legs. Some like big butts. Some like petite chicks and some like amazons. Some dudes like dudes. There's nothing wrong with that and there isn't a reason to be offended. I know I know, that's shallow and you shouldn't care about their outside as long as they're great on the inside but, tbh, I personally prefer great on the outside and inside, as do most people.

    So he didn't dig you before and he digs you now. Doesn't make him a bad dude and shouldn't ruffle your feathers. Date him if you like him. Don't if you don't.

  • emilee974
    emilee974 Posts: 265 Member
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    Hm, the real question is : did you accept the date ? :D
  • May33338
    May33338 Posts: 300 Member
    edited January 2015
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    emilee974 wrote: »
    Hm, the real question is : did you accept the date ? :D

    I didn't because I had been asked out by a guy who I met a month and a half ago at the dance studio while I was signing up for lessons :smiley: I was 120 then and he already liked me, still treats me the exact same way even now that I'm slimmer.


  • Gingerspice45
    Gingerspice45 Posts: 137 Member
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    I have noticed that I get treated a lot differently from when I was thin to now when I'm obese. Now that I'm losing weight again I notice it again. Guys seem to be checking me out more and people are strangely nicer to me than when I've been larger. I have no idea how I'm going to be treated when I hit my goal weight. I'm about 80 pounds away from it right now. It has been a very long time since I've been around 120-130 pounds. I'm not even sure what I will look like.
  • NHUK
    NHUK Posts: 37 Member
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    I think the judgements being leveled at men are a little harsh. We are all programmed to be attracted to each other, and looks form a large part of that package, its not a conscious decision we take, its involuntary. I would notice a colleague who had lost weight in the same way I would notice them if they changed their hair, or wore different clothes than I was used to.

    We become accustomed to those we spend time with and so the impact is significant when something changes. I am just as aware when a male colleague loses some weight, or spends a bit of time at the gym (usually jealousy).

    Also bear in mind that when you feel better about yourself, physically, your personality also becomes brighter, more confident. You walk straighter, make more eye contact and this can also be very attractive to a man (well, me at least)

    Sure there are some creeps out there, but please don't put us all in the same boat.

    Nick.
  • emilee974
    emilee974 Posts: 265 Member
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    @May33338‌ Lol, really great ^^ I wish you all the best with that person :)
  • anadoesit
    anadoesit Posts: 442 Member
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    Daiako wrote: »
    May33338 wrote: »
    BLACKxLABEL wrote: »
    You get offended that people treat you differently after losing weight, yet, you would also probably be offended if they paid you no attention after you worked so hard to lose weight. Face it and get over it, it's the ugly reality. People don't pay slobs any attention. People that show pride in what they are/do attract attention.

    The reason I said that, was because I had been working with the guy for the past two years, his cubicle is right next to mine. He never once took any notice of me, but once I lost 15 pounds, which I did over a month and a half that I took off work, he suddenly walks over to me and asks me on a date even though he had the chance to do so the last two years. I used to weight 120 and now I weigh 105. Just wanted to explain that I found it surprising how he'd find 15 pounds a reason to not ask me out. He even told me that he was asking me out because I started looking attractive to him.
    Just wanted to offer an explaination.

    People like what they like. Some dudes like long legs. Some like big butts. Some like petite chicks and some like amazons. Some dudes like dudes. There's nothing wrong with that and there isn't a reason to be offended. I know I know, that's shallow and you shouldn't care about their outside as long as they're great on the inside but, tbh, I personally prefer great on the outside and inside, as do most people.

    So he didn't dig you before and he digs you now. Doesn't make him a bad dude and shouldn't ruffle your feathers. Date him if you like him. Don't if you don't.

    Exactly. So well said! :)

  • trevandmel2015
    trevandmel2015 Posts: 20
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    I expected to be treated differently when I started putting on weight because I knew that it wasn't my optimum self on the outside & personally, I find that being overweight appears a bit 'lazy' & unattractive. That's how I felt when I was athletic & it's still how I feel now that I'm overweight. I wouldn't expect a girl or guy to be attracted to me physically because not even I would be if I were still small. It doesn't make me any less funny, smarter, or caring as a person; I understand it just narrows down the pool of potential suitors. I also prefer being smaller & athletic because it was a lot simpler, more fun & definitely opened more doors in my life. I have friends who tell me they're happy being overweight at 100-120kg & I just find it hard to believe? The health issues alone would be concerning.
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
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    I agree with the people who have said that as you lose the weight you become more confident and when you don't hate your body then you will notice the attention more. My husband tells me regularly that he can see guys checking me out when we are out, but I never seen it. I have gradually started to pay attention as I am almost half way to my goal. I think it also has a lot to do with us being too focused on how we look rather than what others around us are doing. I know as I get smaller that I am becoming more confident and being noticed more probably because of that.

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