Weight Above Which You Wouldn't Go
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This thread is an interesting perspective - I wonder how much of that is body type, too. Like, I'm 5 ft 6 and 160lbs is a size 8 jeans for me and generally looks like muscular curves - I could probably go down to 145 but it might look sickly on my (broad shouldered and athletic) frame. My "hell no" weight of 170 is when the size 10 jeans start to get tight and I can't wear the size 8 ones.
My boyfriend doesn't believe me when I say we're the same weight (as in, he thinks he is heavier than me, even though he has some obscenely low amount of body fat due to soccer). It is not an argument I push, obviously.0 -
Giving up.
Not caring.
And a heaping second helping (thirds, anyone?) of ordinary denial.
That's how one gets to 475 pounds.
I don't particularly care how my hair looks.
Likewise, some folks don't particularly care when the FUPA hangs to the knees (or below).
Everybody's got their own thing right?0 -
Yup, there's no one answer - but as the OP suggested, hearing some discussion is quite cathartic.
My "I never wanna be more than" was 200. Nice round number. When I exceeded that, I started working out, threw out the deep fryer, etc. - but working out without really watching what you eat isn't helpful. I was 230 when my wife moved in with me and introduced me to healthier eating... The weight started to drop off at that point, and I went hardcore upon my marriage and arrival of my daughter nine months thereafter.
More than the number on the scale though, my "I never wanna be more than" was 34, as in a 34-inch waist. Having my belly hang over that was one thing, but when I got to the 36s and edging into 38 territory was a big wake up call too. Everyone has something different.
Mark0 -
I used to think this way when I was younger. For the longest time, I kept telling myself that if I ever hit 250lbs, it would be the end of the world. Not because other people were bad at 250lbs, but because I was bad at 250lbs. Where did it get me? I just had to start all over again weighing 265lbs at the beginning of 2015.
Instead of saying "that's my limit" instead look the other way and focus on your goals. Having a "nope" weight will only make you feel terrible if you ever actually get to that weight (and to be honest, *kitten* happens). If you're really motivated to lose weight/stay the same, you should never have to see anything higher than the weight you are now, so there's no point in looking backwards.0 -
I stepped on the scale one morning and saw the numbers 281 and freaked out. I spent the day crying and wondering how I had gotten to this point. I thought back over the past 10 years of my life. Getting married, having a baby, losing our car, losing our house, losing my grandpa, losing my great grandma, coming out as an Asexual to my family and friends, losing my job, losing friends and family due to who I am and them not supporting it, feeling lost and cold all the time. I realized that I'd also lost control of myself.
I'd always told my husband, jokingly, that if I ever reached 300lbs that he should just take me out back and put me out of my misery. I suddenly had the realization that "my god, it's not a joke anymore".
I never had a ceiling weight, but I always knew I never wanted to be this heavy. I've only just started my weight loss, but I want to get it and my life back under my control. So much has been taken away from me and so much out of my control, I refuse to let it be like this anymore.
I don't care what I physically look like in the mirror. I just want to be able to look in the mirror and see something happy in my eyes again. This is just a part of that journey. Writing my stories to publishing (fiction and non-fiction), losing weight, learning to love food instead of just having something to eat, getting a good job again, and making new friends who support me as who I am. These are my goals to make myself look happy when I look in the mirror.0 -
Th3Ph03n1x wrote: »So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
I'm not trying to be condescending. I asked a question that I am honestly interested in hearing answers to. Why people allow themselves to get to 475 is exactly what I'm getting at. What are the reasons? Just trying to understand. Is that wrong?
I don't think it's condescending. I've wondered the same thing. However, 200 is not really that high. When I started gaining in the early 2000s, I thought to myself never over 200. I ranged from 170-190 (sizes 10-12) during that time, occasionally getting very close to 200 (size 14). In 2005 I got to 210 and was horrified, but accepted it because I was not ready to deal with it at the time. Then my goal became more about staying in the "misses" size range which I was just barely in at size 16.
I don't wonder so much about people who get to 300 or even 400, it's the people who get so large they can barely walk and need help going to the bathroom and that sort of thing who make me wonder. At some point it does seem like the weight gain would stop, either because being satisfied with the amount of food being consumed or stopping the overeating because of the lifestyle limitations, but I know in many situations there are other people who enable the overeater and even encourage the unhealthy behavior.
When I was in my 20s, I didn't think I'd ever weigh 150 or higher. (I was usually around 130.) Now 150 is my goal weight! I have a lot more muscle now, though.
It's funny you mentioned the misses thing I did that too. I think I would cry if I actually had to shop the plus sizes. I feel like I'm huge as it is.
You might; I do.
Then again, there was a time when I literally cried because my thighs touched together.
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mine was 1400
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So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
I'm not trying to be condescending. I asked a question that I am honestly interested in hearing answers to. Why people allow themselves to get to 475 is exactly what I'm getting at. What are the reasons? Just trying to understand. Is that wrong?
To me it's like asking my dad why he let his whole life go into the toilet before he went to AA. For some people it's not about a number, I avoided stepping on a scale for years, the motivation for me to finally lose weight was getting a laundry list of health problems that I now had because I was so overweight. Sometimes you're so used to being overweight that as the number creeps up you barely see it. You're busy focused on other things. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I went through a lot of tough events in my life & my way of coping was to eat, others use drugs or alcohol. The thing about being overweight is that we wear our mistakes on our bones, out there for the world to see. You say, how could you let yourself get "super out of control", but there are other people who have problems that you can't see that don't get crucified the way that fat people do. So I made some mistakes, that's my cross to bear, what really bugs me is when people say, how could you let yourself get so fat? I don't know. How could you let yourself drink & get in a drunk driving accident? How could you rack up so much credit card debt? How could you cheat on your wife? How could you hit your kids? How could you cheat on your taxes? Etc, etc, etc. It's only fat people whose mistakes are out there for the world to see. We're criticized and ostricized and why? Because people think we're lazy, or stupid or don't care. That's just not true for me. I can't speak for every morbidly obese person out there, but frankly I'm sick of being a pariah. Try to practice empathy. You claim you're honestly curious, yet your wording drips with contempt.
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When I was gaining, I didn't really have a ceiling. I was unhappy and avoided the scale. I went up a pant size. Then my fat jeans in that size started to turn into my skinny jeans, and I was like nope, not happening. Now 120 is my ideal, 125 is my warning call, and 130 is the line I will not cross. 130 is also a bit out of spite - that's where I was for a good chunk of high school, and I had a trainer tell me I'd probably never be as slim as I was in high school. Well, I'm slimmer now, and I intend to stay that way.0
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Gaining weight in my 30s I didn't want to deal with it. Dumb. But when I got on a scale and I weighted more than the William "The Fridge" Perry of the 80s Chicago Bears who was HUGE was a shock. I had become HUGE as well. At that point there was nowhere to hide psychologically.
I knew it would take work - years perhaps - and that seemed way too depressing and daunting a task. So I ignored it for as long as I could. I compare it to how others might allow a credit card debt get out of control by saying they'll deal with it later while it piles up.
Along the way to losing the weight every short term goal was also a trap. I'd be proud to make it and then sit at the point for too long "resting" and forgetting that it is only a waypoint to my final goal.0 -
So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
I'm not trying to be condescending. I asked a question that I am honestly interested in hearing answers to. Why people allow themselves to get to 475 is exactly what I'm getting at. What are the reasons? Just trying to understand. Is that wrong?
To me it's like asking my dad why he let his whole life go into the toilet before he went to AA. For some people it's not about a number, I avoided stepping on a scale for years, the motivation for me to finally lose weight was getting a laundry list of health problems that I now had because I was so overweight. Sometimes you're so used to being overweight that as the number creeps up you barely see it. You're busy focused on other things. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I went through a lot of tough events in my life & my way of coping was to eat, others use drugs or alcohol. The thing about being overweight is that we wear our mistakes on our bones, out there for the world to see. You say, how could you let yourself get "super out of control", but there are other people who have problems that you can't see that don't get crucified the way that fat people do. So I made some mistakes, that's my cross to bear, what really bugs me is when people say, how could you let yourself get so fat? I don't know. How could you let yourself drink & get in a drunk driving accident? How could you rack up so much credit card debt? How could you cheat on your wife? How could you hit your kids? How could you cheat on your taxes? Etc, etc, etc. It's only fat people whose mistakes are out there for the world to see. We're criticized and ostricized and why? Because people think we're lazy, or stupid or don't care. That's just not true for me. I can't speak for every morbidly obese person out there, but frankly I'm sick of being a pariah. Try to practice empathy. You claim you're honestly curious, yet your wording drips with contempt.
I really like this ^
On a different note, though, one thing I'm often curious about (and have seen mentioned a few times here on MFP) is how people seemingly have a natural 'ceiling' weight wise. For example I ate whatever I wanted for years and I stayed around 270 and eventually did hit 307. But a friend of mine had to hit 400. Why didn't I ever get there? Why do I see threads about binge eaters who truly ate BOXES of cookies and entire pizzas and their heaviest was still like 170 lb? It's interesting to me.
I put a LOT of focus on CICO being the "scientific truth" and to a very large extent it IS all about that...but I look at these examples, people on MFP and people I know irl and I do wonder about metabolism and so on...it's puzzling.
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My personal number is 200. When I got up to 197 a few months ago, I realized I needed to do something. When I saw that my BMI fell in to the obese category, I was shocked. I didn't feel like I was THAT overweight, but then I saw some pictures that my mom had taken. I had no idea I looked like that! I am pre-diabetic and get tired and out of breath easier than I used to. I understand what you mean by why do super morbidly obese people not do something before it gets to that point, but I am guessing that there are psychological and physical reasons that make it harder for them to change. I am really into watching shows like My 600 pound life and Fat Doctor (filmed in England, it follows people before, during, and after gastric bypass...the episodes are YouTube). They help shed some light on the cause and difficulty of being super morbidly obese. They also helped me realize that being obese is not just about my appearance. My mom is very concerned about my weight gain. She always tells me that the people who are super morbidly obese weighed what I weigh at one time. That scares me because I don't want to get immobile, or diabetic, or dependent upon my loved ones to care for me. My heart goes out to them. I have several loved ones who died due to obesity related causes. One died during gastric bypass surgery. I am trying to keep myself from following in their footsteps. It is scary, because I am an emotional eater.0
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I guess mine is 171? I don't weigh on the regular so when I realized that I could barely stuff myself in my clothes I decided to try and lose weight. I got on the scale to mark my starting point and was 170 so I suppose that's the highest weight I wanted to be? I guess honestly I don't care what I weigh, I use weight as a marker and because MFP encourages it, but I really just want to look and feel good in cute clothes.
But, maybe after this I will set a max point and do a monthly weigh in, to catch any gain before I start feeling badly.
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I always just assumed I was around 170. I avoided the doctors and the scales. Then in February 2014 I had to have a physical for my insurance benefits and the scale said 219. I sat in my car and cried.0
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So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
I'm not trying to be condescending. I asked a question that I am honestly interested in hearing answers to. Why people allow themselves to get to 475 is exactly what I'm getting at. What are the reasons? Just trying to understand. Is that wrong?
To me it's like asking my dad why he let his whole life go into the toilet before he went to AA. For some people it's not about a number, I avoided stepping on a scale for years, the motivation for me to finally lose weight was getting a laundry list of health problems that I now had because I was so overweight. Sometimes you're so used to being overweight that as the number creeps up you barely see it. You're busy focused on other things. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I went through a lot of tough events in my life & my way of coping was to eat, others use drugs or alcohol. The thing about being overweight is that we wear our mistakes on our bones, out there for the world to see. You say, how could you let yourself get "super out of control", but there are other people who have problems that you can't see that don't get crucified the way that fat people do. So I made some mistakes, that's my cross to bear, what really bugs me is when people say, how could you let yourself get so fat? I don't know. How could you let yourself drink & get in a drunk driving accident? How could you rack up so much credit card debt? How could you cheat on your wife? How could you hit your kids? How could you cheat on your taxes? Etc, etc, etc. It's only fat people whose mistakes are out there for the world to see. We're criticized and ostricized and why? Because people think we're lazy, or stupid or don't care. That's just not true for me. I can't speak for every morbidly obese person out there, but frankly I'm sick of being a pariah. Try to practice empathy. You claim you're honestly curious, yet your wording drips with contempt.
^This exactly. There is life beyond just your weight. It happens - just like other people have their cross to bear. The only difference is that for fat people, ours is visible.0 -
seltzermint wrote: »So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
I'm not trying to be condescending. I asked a question that I am honestly interested in hearing answers to. Why people allow themselves to get to 475 is exactly what I'm getting at. What are the reasons? Just trying to understand. Is that wrong?
To me it's like asking my dad why he let his whole life go into the toilet before he went to AA. For some people it's not about a number, I avoided stepping on a scale for years, the motivation for me to finally lose weight was getting a laundry list of health problems that I now had because I was so overweight. Sometimes you're so used to being overweight that as the number creeps up you barely see it. You're busy focused on other things. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I went through a lot of tough events in my life & my way of coping was to eat, others use drugs or alcohol. The thing about being overweight is that we wear our mistakes on our bones, out there for the world to see. You say, how could you let yourself get "super out of control", but there are other people who have problems that you can't see that don't get crucified the way that fat people do. So I made some mistakes, that's my cross to bear, what really bugs me is when people say, how could you let yourself get so fat? I don't know. How could you let yourself drink & get in a drunk driving accident? How could you rack up so much credit card debt? How could you cheat on your wife? How could you hit your kids? How could you cheat on your taxes? Etc, etc, etc. It's only fat people whose mistakes are out there for the world to see. We're criticized and ostricized and why? Because people think we're lazy, or stupid or don't care. That's just not true for me. I can't speak for every morbidly obese person out there, but frankly I'm sick of being a pariah. Try to practice empathy. You claim you're honestly curious, yet your wording drips with contempt.
I really like this ^
On a different note, though, one thing I'm often curious about (and have seen mentioned a few times here on MFP) is how people seemingly have a natural 'ceiling' weight wise. For example I ate whatever I wanted for years and I stayed around 270 and eventually did hit 307. But a friend of mine had to hit 400. Why didn't I ever get there? Why do I see threads about binge eaters who truly ate BOXES of cookies and entire pizzas and their heaviest was still like 170 lb? It's interesting to me.
I put a LOT of focus on CICO being the "scientific truth" and to a very large extent it IS all about that...but I look at these examples, people on MFP and people I know irl and I do wonder about metabolism and so on...it's puzzling.
People who don't get all that big despite eating boxes of cookies and entire pizzas because they don't do that every day. When I was in my 20s, I sometimes I went through phases of overeating like that, entire boxes of cookies in a sitting or an entire pie in a day. Yet I never got bigger than around 140-145 (size 8 on me, around 10-20 pounds over what was my typical weight in my 20s). Why? Because I never did it for more than a few months. I used to think that meant I was lucky and did not have to worry about getting fat because I never got any bigger despite these periods of excessive eating. And once I got back to eating normally the extra weight would go away.
I learned I was wrong, lol. I eventually entered a period of overeating that lasted for years and after a while got to 210. And of course most of my public eating was normal. I ate tubs of ice cream and boxes of cookies in private. You can't gauge whether someone's weight corresponds with their food intake unless you are with them 24/7.0 -
So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
This was entirely unnecessary.
OP: I never had a number in mind. And then THAT DAY it was that number and I started losing. Now that I'm in maintenance I absolutely have a number: I will NOT go above 140. But no, back then I didn't have a number.0 -
I think the highest number I've ever seen is ~190. I wish I had a picture from then to compare to now, after going down about 10 pounds from there. I felt big and beefy all over. I hated looking in the mirror. Honestly, 191 would be my unthinkable weight...because it's way too close to 200!
2nd year of college I lost ~50 pounds but gained it back slowly over a few years. I'm trying to lose it again. When I realized that I'd gained ALL of it back (and then some), I knew I had to start making a change.0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
This was entirely unnecessary.
OP: I never had a number in mind. And then THAT DAY it was that number and I started losing. Now that I'm in maintenance I absolutely have a number: I will NOT go above 140. But no, back then I didn't have a number.
You're kidding, right? First of all, aside from quite mildly pointing out that the OP (as in the post itself, not the individual who wrote it) seemed sort of condescending to me, the rest of my response was entirely genuine and polite. Whoever flagged me - please re-read the guidelines regarding what constitutes "abuse." It's not a "dislike" button.
Second of all, please let me explain myself if you believe my response was "entirely unnecessary." These posts that ask (even coming from a place of genuine curiosity) how people can "allow" themselves to get so big can be extremely hurtful to many people who are very overweight. There is wide gamut of mental, emotional, and physical reasons that someone might become super morbidly obese. They can be severe, debilitating, and humiliating reasons. They can come from a very dark place. You wouldn't walk up to a disabled person and ask them how they got that way, no matter how genuinely curious you were. You wouldn't even walk up to a woman who is dressed poorly and ask how she can allow herself to look like that. I fail to see how this question is an acceptable one to ask, and it gets my goat every time I see it in here.
I do see that a lot of people answered, and that's fine. I hope the OP got the answers she was looking for. However, let's note that the majority of the answers are from people whose "too high" weight is not what most people would consider "super out of control" (ETA - though not all, as I go back and read a little more. Thank you to those who shared your perspectives.). I can assure you that there are many more people out there who didn't answer and who fall into the category I referenced above. In particular, the way the OP is worded it seems that the OP-er has identified 200 lbs as her "too high" weight, and then asks how people can allow themselves to get "super out of control," and seems to imply that therefore a weight over 200 lbs or thereabouts would be "super out of control" (I apologize if I misread that; I did ask the OP twice to clarify what she considered "super out of control" for the exact reason that I wanted to be sure I had interpreted that properly, but she never responded). That was the part I was referring to as "condescending" - the OP doesn't have any right to deem whether someone else is "super out of control," as though by not allowing herself to exceed that arbitrary 200 lb limit she is somehow better than those of us who failed to accomplish that.
I hope I explained my point of view on why I dislike this question so much a little better.0 -
So when I was overweight, I always had 200 in my mind. That was the number I would never allow myself to get to. What was yours and how did you decide on that number? I'm honestly interested in gaining some understanding as to how people allow their weight to get super out of control.
That's sort of a condescending attitude. I really doubt that super morbidly obese people get on the scale and think to themselves "Ok, at 475 I'm totally fine, but 480 is just something that can NEVER happen." There are lots and lots of reasons that people gain weight, and there's no one mindset that can be attributed to that happening.
I'm curious - what's your definition of "super out of control"?
I'm not trying to be condescending. I asked a question that I am honestly interested in hearing answers to. Why people allow themselves to get to 475 is exactly what I'm getting at. What are the reasons? Just trying to understand. Is that wrong?
To me it's like asking my dad why he let his whole life go into the toilet before he went to AA. For some people it's not about a number, I avoided stepping on a scale for years, the motivation for me to finally lose weight was getting a laundry list of health problems that I now had because I was so overweight. Sometimes you're so used to being overweight that as the number creeps up you barely see it. You're busy focused on other things. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I went through a lot of tough events in my life & my way of coping was to eat, others use drugs or alcohol. The thing about being overweight is that we wear our mistakes on our bones, out there for the world to see. You say, how could you let yourself get "super out of control", but there are other people who have problems that you can't see that don't get crucified the way that fat people do. So I made some mistakes, that's my cross to bear, what really bugs me is when people say, how could you let yourself get so fat? I don't know. How could you let yourself drink & get in a drunk driving accident? How could you rack up so much credit card debt? How could you cheat on your wife? How could you hit your kids? How could you cheat on your taxes? Etc, etc, etc. It's only fat people whose mistakes are out there for the world to see. We're criticized and ostricized and why? Because people think we're lazy, or stupid or don't care. That's just not true for me. I can't speak for every morbidly obese person out there, but frankly I'm sick of being a pariah. Try to practice empathy. You claim you're honestly curious, yet your wording drips with contempt.
Thank you for sharing, truly. This is what I was referring to.0
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