Is he REALLY off limits?

fara180
fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
edited November 11 in Chit-Chat
I'm in a predicament! A very cute guy messaged me on a dating account of mine and we started to chat. His name came up (very unusual name) and it rung a bell, a slightly alarming bell!

This guy, let's call him Paul*, used to "talk," to my best friend (over a year ago). They met online and mostly communicated via Snap-Chat and email. They never met in person. I remember that she used to complain that he always blew her off when she tried to make plans and she still brings him up, though it's rare. She usually says something along the lines of "I wonder what happened to him. I just want to know why he never wanted to meet me."

He's asked me out to get a drink, but I don't know if this would break girl-code, seeing as my friend used to be wrapped up in him...though they never met.

I usually wouldn't even think about meeting up with a guy my friend used to like...except they never even MET before...so is he really off limits? Honest input is appreciated!
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Replies

  • Oops_Myhaloslipped
    Oops_Myhaloslipped Posts: 3,892 Member
    Yes,and if he wouldn't meet your friend in person that's a major red flag. Not to mention your girl code you'd be breaking. How would you feel if she did the same thing? If you even have to question the integrity of it then I think you already know the answer.
  • GoldieGlocks
    GoldieGlocks Posts: 54 Member
    I don't think your in the wrong, but it's probably not worth jeopardizing your friends trust/friendship over a guy you have never met. Either way let us know how it goes! [:
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    Should I even bring it up to her, or pretend it never happened?
  • Oops_Myhaloslipped
    Oops_Myhaloslipped Posts: 3,892 Member
    I wouldn't even say anything,it might hurt her feelings that he was willing to meet you but not her. It would hurt mine :/
  • GoldieGlocks
    GoldieGlocks Posts: 54 Member
    Hopefully he's not stupid enough to bring up the whole situation in a convo with her :/
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    el3ctricskittl3z wrote: »
    Hopefully he's not stupid enough to bring up the whole situation in a convo with her :/

    They haven't talked in over a year so I doubt it would come up
  • joshua3179
    joshua3179 Posts: 2,882 Member
    Just want to say.. You're a beautiful young woman and I'd never think you needed a dating website to meet someone you have beautiful eyes and amazing skin.. Very pretty :wink:
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    You should call Catfish, the TV show. That could be interesting ;)
  • msh0612
    msh0612 Posts: 354 Member
    I wouldnt meet up with him and I wouldnt say anything. Just walk away from the whole thing. There are plenty of other men out there. :)
  • Canwehugnow
    Canwehugnow Posts: 218 Member
    He's off limits, just because she keeps brings it up sometimes.
  • qdoyle11
    qdoyle11 Posts: 325 Member
    He sounds sketchy. It's been a year, and since he and your friend didn't meet, I don't see it being a problem there, but maybe suggest you meet somewhere you feel comfortable and see what happens. If he's a no-show, no loss.
  • Burt_Huttz
    Burt_Huttz Posts: 1,612 Member
    fara180 wrote: »
    Should I even bring it up to her, or pretend it never happened?

    This whole scenario sounds extremely suspicious; retain your friendship, don't bring it up, and don't waste the time to find out exactly why he is a flake. You already know he is a flake. Do you really want to go spelunking in his weirdo issues cavern?

  • blueeyesgrace
    blueeyesgrace Posts: 407 Member
    Yea, I wouldn't even think twice about giving him the big 'ol **** NO. If your friend means that much to you... I'm not sure if I would talk to her about it or not. She could be mad if she finds out that you didn't tell her, and she could be mad that he is talking to you now and not her. Feel that one out based on how you think she would react. Either way, I say tell him to go find someone else to talk to.

    I'm on a dating site, too, and it's weird the people that sometimes contact you on there. I've had some really good experiences, but I'm super super picky about who I meet in person or give my number to.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Ho's before Bro's.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Ovaries before brovaries.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Sisters before misters.
  • blueeyesgrace
    blueeyesgrace Posts: 407 Member
    ^^ I wish there was a "like" button...
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Biscuit before brisket
  • mrsmartinez99
    mrsmartinez99 Posts: 1,255 Member
    ^THIS :smiley:
  • Mswack78
    Mswack78 Posts: 611 Member
    if she's a good friend I wouldn't...if she's not I'd go...
  • slider728
    slider728 Posts: 1,494 Member
    I'd say he's off limits. That being said, why not have a little fun with the situation? Tell your friend about him. Then tell the guy that you'd like them go out for a drink (or a movie or whatever) with you and one of your female friends. Your friend would be the one that he blew off.

    If you can't have the guy, you might as well be entertained.
  • EZDUZIT68
    EZDUZIT68 Posts: 1,168 Member
    Chicks before d***s...
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    :noway:
  • blueeyesgrace
    blueeyesgrace Posts: 407 Member
    slider728 wrote: »
    I'd say he's off limits. That being said, why not have a little fun with the situation? Tell your friend about him. Then tell the guy that you'd like them go out for a drink (or a movie or whatever) with you and one of your female friends. Your friend would be the one that he blew off.

    If you can't have the guy, you might as well be entertained.

    That absolutely sounds like something I would do...
  • redromad275
    redromad275 Posts: 884 Member
    What's worth more to you. Her friendship or the possibility of a hook up? I would refuse the date and tell your friend that he was trying to hook up with you and you refused. This will help her to get over him and cement your friendship more.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
    Sounds like she doesn't have closure. If it's impacting her self-esteem, then I would go sideways about it.Tell her - I saw Paul's profile the other day...I wonder if I could find out what was up with him? If she says yes, then meet up with him. If she's like - uh, no, I'm over that. Then let it go.

    Very high school...but sometimes we need to indulge in a little high school behavior to help a friend get rid of some niggling doubts.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    Canwehugnow wrote: »
    He's off limits, just because she keeps brings it up sometimes.

    That's the friend's weird problem, not the OP's. Anyone who's all hung up on a guy who keep blowing her off is stupid.

    I don't think I'd go for it, because the guy sounds like a loser.


  • mustang289
    mustang289 Posts: 299 Member
    I dunno, maybe you could slip her a note during homeroom and see what she thinks...
  • sweetdixie92
    sweetdixie92 Posts: 655 Member
    Honestly, if a guy kept blowing me off when I wanted to make plans to meet him, I think I'd get the picture - he's obviously NOT interested. Not to mention...my rule of thumb? The guy asks me on the first date. If a guy doesn't bother to ask to meet, then he's clearly not the one for me.

    If he actually wants to meet you, go for it if you like. I wouldn't consider him off limits.
  • Honeysuckle3
    Honeysuckle3 Posts: 644 Member
    Fries before guys

    And my personal favorite... tacos before vatos :) (yes, I'm Mexican)
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