We broke up because...
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She was always hiding my spoons!!!....and bowls!!!.....and lucky charms!0
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Cereal was first in his life... I can't be his #2.0
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I kept telling her she was just as sweet...0
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she never complimented me...0
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he insulted me about my "huge a%&e!"0
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She wasn't comfortable with the age difference.0
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I liked a lot older men0
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So why did we break up????????0
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I was too young....0
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He always called me old!
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she tells everyone that but really she means you were
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She wouldn't stop staring at me like in her profile picture...0
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You wouldn't take a break from filming American Horror Story0
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He wouldn't stop being sad, even with a star0
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Your smile is prettier than mine 0
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she knows the words to EVERY song....0
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I grew tired of living in a van down by the river0
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she would make me sit in ice baths daily so that she could say I was cold hearted
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Stole all the ice for my Scotch0
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he wouldn't let me leave the house in fear I might run off with the circus0
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She ran off with the cricus0
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he wanted to stay friends 0
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we were never 'friends' to begin with0
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it was me not him0
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Break up to make up baby!0
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I couldn't tire her out. I wasn't good enough.0
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He left the toilet seat up...0
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She was always in the bathroom.0
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he found us out...that's because I was in there with her
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He got eggy because I had the bladder of a small child0
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