Afraid to change the way I look/feel

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  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    dawnna76 wrote: »
    i started at 260 and am currently 195. i do not have any lose skin. i lift weights 3 days a week and cardio three days. i have lost the weight slowly at about .5-1pound a week and so my skin as adjusted with it as well. in fact if anything its seems tighter. i used to have leftover joggle when i waved and thanks to having awesome triceps now i no longer jiggle. I think you will be surpirsed at yourself.

    The thing is I already have stomach jiggle after the last 10. My mom has the worst stomach from kids... her skin never even remotely went back. I do sit ups, I have muscle. Unfortunately I am not just afraid of it because I have no idea... it happened before and it is happening again. In general I have terrible skin, it is delicate... it has no elasticity (tmi but the top of my bum crack actually cracks sometimes just from sitting on the toilet badly) ...
    ugh. I dunno. I am afraid more than anything I will hate myself for changing. I don't want to be disappointed in the way I look after all the hard work mentally it took to realize I looked great! I mean, I think I do. Okay, officially upset lol.
  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    is there anything that aids skin to go back?
  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    In the end I want to be myself. If I don't feel like myself, what is the point really. I know everyone keeps saying exercise, but biking all last year didn't make my skin firm. my legs underneath yes. but my skin on them was loose, and i hardly even lost anything.

    my sisters both have similar issues with their stomach areas now that i think of it. :(
  • FarmallMom71
    FarmallMom71 Posts: 49 Member
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    I hear you on the loss of the chest... my bestie and I discussed that not that long ago. I am not very clothing smart and was upset at the chest loss. She told me about these gel pouches you can get at walmart to slip into bras and introduced me to push up bras (some add 2 sizes!) why is the chest always the first thing to go when losing? such a bummer. Easily fixed!
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    koosobie wrote: »
    is there anything that aids skin to go back?

    Losing weight slowly, and keeping hydrated. That's it. You can put on cocoa butter cream and that may help some, but really, drinking water is the best thing. The cream won't help much if you aren't getting enough water.

  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    edited January 2015
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    koosobie wrote: »
    In the end I want to be myself. If I don't feel like myself, what is the point really. I know everyone keeps saying exercise, but biking all last year didn't make my skin firm. my legs underneath yes. but my skin on them was loose, and i hardly even lost anything.

    my sisters both have similar issues with their stomach areas now that i think of it. :(

    That's because you still had FAT on the muscles. You lose fat by eating at a calorie deficit. Exercise helps you tone the muscle underneath but you still have to shed the fat. Exercise also helps you create more of a calorie deficit so you can shed the fat.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    deksgrl wrote: »
    koosobie wrote: »
    shadowofender wrote: »
    Firstly, I'm going to use the disclaimer that this was how *I* felt, not trying to judge you or say you feel the same way, but if I can give insight I'd rather speak up.

    I'm tall as hell and was quite..well, fat. Bigger than you look in your picture by a lot. But, I loved myself for who I was (A long battle to be sure) and had no health issues. I had spent years learning to love myself and it felt like a betrayal to admit I needed to lose weight. I was hiding that fact with self acceptance, as weird as that is. My excuses of "loose skin" and stretch marks were just that, excuses because I was afraid to start.

    I'm not saying you need to lose weight, maybe your health is fine and perfect right now, and your self esteem seems great. But one day, it will catch up to you.

    Slow loss, like other suggest. Lift heavy, set your goals to .5lbs a week? You may find, like I did, that once you really start, you'll realize you want to.

    the part where it will catch up with me is why I do anything at all. I am very active compared to what most people would think of me. Last year I uninsured my car, just so I had to bike to work. Which I did, and averaged about 100 km a week or more. I know I am healthier than most people even though I am chubby. I out skated my thin guy friend last winter.

    I think it is the same mentality, but I don't know if it is an excuse that I like myself this way. I think I just really do like chunkier girls including myself. There is always a limit, but I don't feel I ever crossed it. I am doing this because I should more than anything. That being said, I find loads of female shapes attractive, thin and otherwise. I think, if I have to be thinner, I want to look like my preference at least. Which lies the problem, most of those women have never been fat.

    You would be surprised at the number of very attractive female shapes of women here on this forum who used to be fat. The put in the work though to get where they are now.

    /thread
  • Ms_LisaKay
    Ms_LisaKay Posts: 103 Member
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    I have some of these same fears, OP, but I am looking at 40 in less than a month. I definitely put lotion into my regimen because the sag is there. I find that my feelings of body acceptance, skills I learned while heavy, are still serving me. I figure that no matter what, my body will change as I age. I can either work to guide that body change or I can do what I was doing and just let my body go along without me. I decided I would rather be healthier under the skin since the droop is somewhat inevitable.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Well the OP is only 27 so she shouldn't have to worry about sag too much as long as she drops the weight slowly.
  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    FarmallMom71 wrote: »
    I hear you on the loss of the chest... my bestie and I discussed that not that long ago. I am not very clothing smart and was upset at the chest loss. She told me about these gel pouches you can get at walmart to slip into bras and introduced me to push up bras (some add 2 sizes!) why is the chest always the first thing to go when losing? such a bummer. Easily fixed!
    i always hated the idea of pushups. lol i guess i will have to deal tho.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Just wondering... Do you want to lose weight? If not, that's okay. You don't have to prove anything to us :)
  • JuliERRN41072
    JuliERRN41072 Posts: 1 Member
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    These concerns are perfectly natural! If you are not loosing weight because you dislike the way you look or feel it can be difficult to be motivated to change. Let me just say that not everyone who is over weight has type ii diabetes or heart disease if you exercise watch what you eat and maintain a healthy lifestyles there is little reason to believe you will become ill. I lost about 100 pounds in the past I did it quickly and not in a way that was healthy I got a tummy tuck and a breast lift and promptly gained most of the weight back because I did not lose it the right way or for the right reasons
  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    Cortneyrenee04 wrote: »
    Just wondering... Do you want to lose weight? If not, that's okay. You don't have to prove anything to us :)

    in truth, not really. but i know deep down it is better for me if i do. i am overweight.. i am putting my joints under extra pressure. but at the end of the day i don't want to change. i am still doing it, but i really don't feel i want to.
  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    JuliERRN41072 wrote: »
    These concerns are perfectly natural! If you are not loosing weight because you dislike the way you look or feel it can be difficult to be motivated to change. Let me just say that not everyone who is over weight has type ii diabetes or heart disease if you exercise watch what you eat and maintain a healthy lifestyles there is little reason to believe you will become ill. I lost about 100 pounds in the past I did it quickly and not in a way that was healthy I got a tummy tuck and a breast lift and promptly gained most of the weight back because I did not lose it the right way or for the right reasons

    i don't think i am losing it in a poor manner. i am not limiting what i can eat, or even how much lately. i think in general, letting my stomach get used to proper portion size did me a lot of good. i feel full from less and i think about the things i eat more. so in general, the change is positive i think. but the thing is, my dad has all these issues, diabetes, cancer, heart disease. i know i am in line for it. i know i eat better than he did, but i don't want to end up using my comfort level as an excuse not to do "the right thing" and get to an acceptable body weight. according to like every body mass index i am obese. lol i don't feel obese, but it would be nice to be in a moderate level of fat. just so i know i did everything i can do.... if something does go wrong later in life.

  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    JuliERRN41072 wrote: »
    These concerns are perfectly natural! If you are not loosing weight because you dislike the way you look or feel it can be difficult to be motivated to change. Let me just say that not everyone who is over weight has type ii diabetes or heart disease if you exercise watch what you eat and maintain a healthy lifestyles there is little reason to believe you will become ill. I lost about 100 pounds in the past I did it quickly and not in a way that was healthy I got a tummy tuck and a breast lift and promptly gained most of the weight back because I did not lose it the right way or for the right reasons

    and also, i feel terrible that you had the regain. i never have been loopy on the scale, but that must have been so heart breaking.
  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
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    Ms_LisaKay wrote: »
    I have some of these same fears, OP, but I am looking at 40 in less than a month. I definitely put lotion into my regimen because the sag is there. I find that my feelings of body acceptance, skills I learned while heavy, are still serving me. I figure that no matter what, my body will change as I age. I can either work to guide that body change or I can do what I was doing and just let my body go along without me. I decided I would rather be healthier under the skin since the droop is somewhat inevitable.

    i am just not ready for the droop yet i think. i think i am a lot more vain about myself than i thought i was.
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
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    I'm glad you posted this. I was scared of losing weight too, but for different reasons. Now that I have lost close to 40 pounds I love my new body. I am scared to go on but I know I have to to be healthy. It IS a head game for sure and I need to figure it out.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
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    Maybe once you meet the new you, you'll like her too!

    I do know what you mean. I have no idea what I'll soon look like and its a little scary. Every day it gets less scary and more exciting though. I really freaked out when my face changed. I was shocked by my new features every time I looked in the mirror. I like my face now, but it took a lot of adjusting.
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
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    Cortneyrenee04 wrote: »
    Maybe once you meet the new you, you'll like her too!

    I do know what you mean. I have no idea what I'll soon look like and its a little scary. Every day it gets less scary and more exciting though. I really freaked out when my face changed. I was shocked by my new features every time I looked in the mirror. I like my face now, but it took a lot of adjusting.

    I think you are spot on. There is an adjustment period. Then you sort of settle in and realize everything is fine.
  • koosobie
    koosobie Posts: 27 Member
    edited February 2015
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    palwithme wrote: »
    Cortneyrenee04 wrote: »
    Maybe once you meet the new you, you'll like her too!

    I do know what you mean. I have no idea what I'll soon look like and its a little scary. Every day it gets less scary and more exciting though. I really freaked out when my face changed. I was shocked by my new features every time I looked in the mirror. I like my face now, but it took a lot of adjusting.

    I think you are spot on. There is an adjustment period. Then you sort of settle in and realize everything is fine.


    thanks you guys. this is the input i was looking for in general. to know i am not crazy, and to know i may not be right either.

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