You Don't Know Jack! Yes I am going to vent...
Kjarlune
Posts: 178
I understand at this point that I must have some sick attraction to a train wreck because for some insane reason I continue to read the forums....No matter how it upsets me.
I have never seen so many EXPERTS in my life STRUGGLE WITH WEIGHT ISSUES!
We all have a journey and I know it is shocking but we are not stupid...I am so tired and frustrated. A low carb program and someone has to go in and JUDGE IT! A high carb and SOMEONE DOES THE SAME.
Fad diets, rad diets, not enough veggies, too many, keep your calories nope don't...judge judge judge judge judge judge....What ever happened to opinions being given when asked?
I read a post of a girl who believed she failed over eating a muffin..A FREAKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.and someone responded with your calories are too low...you need healthy calories....WTH!!!!!! how about honey we all go a little insane while trying to loose weight....
Be informative, not judgmental...Be kind not rude....Give advice when asked...these are not hard concepts....DON'T JUDGE is not a hard thing to grasp.....
Here is the truth...if you do not change your eating habits NO MATTER WHAT DIET, low carb, high carb, low fat, high fat, etc etc etc you WILL GAIN IT BACK...We are not dumb, we get it......
I lost 10 pounds so I know what I am doing???? Really......COME ON! I have lost 65 and still don't have a clue...
I am so tired of reading people having to defend what they are doing....WE ARE ALL DOING THIS AT THE SAME TIME...your way my way DOES IT MATTER???? ARE YOU EFFECTED?????
The numbers do not lie....and we are able to give some sound advice without judgement....
If we screw up loosing weight, who suffers? Us, not you..There is enough people in our lives not wanting us to get healthy, not supporting our success does it have to be here too?
I have no doubt that is not what MFP was built for.....
Am I loosing the weight wrong? Probably.....but I am loosing....How did you learn? trial and error....Give some advice, don't bash....Be helpful not no it alls...Support your fellow people not rude....
Loosing weight and getting healthy will be the hardest thing any of us EVER do...whether you have 5 pounds or 500... You have to weed through the crap that is the weight loss industry..Yes an industry worth a lot of money....and find your own truths.. What works for you....When getting healthy we judge ourselves enough, no help needed there....we do not like what we see enough, no need to rub it in...Get obsessed enough, no need to make us second guess our own beliefs....
Getting past the crap that is the industry and loosing the weight and getting healthy will become your biggest accomplishment. As parents it will show our kids they can do anything. As people it will inspire others to make changes too. As individuals we will gain a confidence beyond any schooling or measure....
No matter how you are loosing your weight. Slow, fast, fad, not fad, right or wrong, you are doing it. Be proud. Do not tolerate being bullied.
I have seen more bully's on this site then in my kids school....We all have a right to be here. We have a need to learn and we all have the ability to help.....
Yep go ahead bash what I wrote, tell me I am wrong..then go look at the posts everywhere...Even on a computer judgement hurts....Low carbers??? GO YOU. Healthy eaters???? WOOHOOO you can do it..... body builders???? I am in awe of your dedication and read your information..... Big guys and gals not so big anymore???? Thank you because you give me hope.....We are all students and teachers in life, and our success depends on our souls....
I have never seen so many EXPERTS in my life STRUGGLE WITH WEIGHT ISSUES!
We all have a journey and I know it is shocking but we are not stupid...I am so tired and frustrated. A low carb program and someone has to go in and JUDGE IT! A high carb and SOMEONE DOES THE SAME.
Fad diets, rad diets, not enough veggies, too many, keep your calories nope don't...judge judge judge judge judge judge....What ever happened to opinions being given when asked?
I read a post of a girl who believed she failed over eating a muffin..A FREAKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.and someone responded with your calories are too low...you need healthy calories....WTH!!!!!! how about honey we all go a little insane while trying to loose weight....
Be informative, not judgmental...Be kind not rude....Give advice when asked...these are not hard concepts....DON'T JUDGE is not a hard thing to grasp.....
Here is the truth...if you do not change your eating habits NO MATTER WHAT DIET, low carb, high carb, low fat, high fat, etc etc etc you WILL GAIN IT BACK...We are not dumb, we get it......
I lost 10 pounds so I know what I am doing???? Really......COME ON! I have lost 65 and still don't have a clue...
I am so tired of reading people having to defend what they are doing....WE ARE ALL DOING THIS AT THE SAME TIME...your way my way DOES IT MATTER???? ARE YOU EFFECTED?????
The numbers do not lie....and we are able to give some sound advice without judgement....
If we screw up loosing weight, who suffers? Us, not you..There is enough people in our lives not wanting us to get healthy, not supporting our success does it have to be here too?
I have no doubt that is not what MFP was built for.....
Am I loosing the weight wrong? Probably.....but I am loosing....How did you learn? trial and error....Give some advice, don't bash....Be helpful not no it alls...Support your fellow people not rude....
Loosing weight and getting healthy will be the hardest thing any of us EVER do...whether you have 5 pounds or 500... You have to weed through the crap that is the weight loss industry..Yes an industry worth a lot of money....and find your own truths.. What works for you....When getting healthy we judge ourselves enough, no help needed there....we do not like what we see enough, no need to rub it in...Get obsessed enough, no need to make us second guess our own beliefs....
Getting past the crap that is the industry and loosing the weight and getting healthy will become your biggest accomplishment. As parents it will show our kids they can do anything. As people it will inspire others to make changes too. As individuals we will gain a confidence beyond any schooling or measure....
No matter how you are loosing your weight. Slow, fast, fad, not fad, right or wrong, you are doing it. Be proud. Do not tolerate being bullied.
I have seen more bully's on this site then in my kids school....We all have a right to be here. We have a need to learn and we all have the ability to help.....
Yep go ahead bash what I wrote, tell me I am wrong..then go look at the posts everywhere...Even on a computer judgement hurts....Low carbers??? GO YOU. Healthy eaters???? WOOHOOO you can do it..... body builders???? I am in awe of your dedication and read your information..... Big guys and gals not so big anymore???? Thank you because you give me hope.....We are all students and teachers in life, and our success depends on our souls....
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Replies
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I couldn't agree more, actually
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hear hear!!!!:):wink:0
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AMEN!!! :drinker:0
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"and someone responded with your calories are too low...you need healthy calories....WTH!!!!!! how about honey we all go a little insane while trying to loose weight.... "
...that really is a terrible example. If someone isn't eating enough calories then they'll feel like that constantly, since they'll always be hungry and giving in. Secondly, they can harm their bodies. Pointing that out is not a bad a thing to do.1 -
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I totally agree with you!! Well said and well vented!! 0
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You took the words from my hand! You ROCK!!! :happy:
:happy: :happy: 0 -
"Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy." / Some very supportive people here but this is by far the best advice I've read since I made my account.0
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"like"everytime i ask anything on here there is always someone telling me i don't eat enough and that i won't lose weight. even if I'm not asking about that. It does get me down sometimes and i am losing. thanks for letting me know I'm not theonly one who finds this0
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I'll e-slap anyone who bashes this. haha.
I don't look at the forums an awful lot. I just can't handle it. I'll get too caught up in the crap (like you seemingly have, not to judge or anything. just observing) and got off my nut at someone somewhere. haha.
People were giving advice to a school aged girl who lied about being 18 on here, telling her to do this that and the other. I was like "uh. you're still growing" I even blogged about it, it pee'd me off that much that society is making kids think they're fat when they're barely hitting puberty! (that's my rant over)
I myself have a meal replacement shake for breakfast and sometimes lunch, people don't like them here, they "teach you nothing" - I see it more as starting from scratch. It's like punishment. It's not easy to want to snack between meals because you've only had a shake and then try and find the healthy snack option, believe me!
It's a hard task this thing that some of us are doing. With over 100lbs still left to lose with the measly 23lbs out the way. I am looking at a looong drawn out process. I don't think I'll reach my deadline, but hey. I'm losing. I'm here. I am TRYING to teach myself and my 22 month old son better habits (I feed him healthier than i do myself, go figure). I work out. Or try to. at least 3 days a week.
To each their own. My easiest way is to pop on here and make like minded friends and just stay away from the crap. Unless I see something that might amuse or appeal to me on the new topics list on my wall page. Your post appealed and made me shake my head because I agree.
Chin up. don't let it get to you. just don't go to the forums. it's better to live in ignorance sometimes. haha.0 -
I agree, the biggest gripe I have is weightwatchers food! Lets get real, its the same food, just with the WW points on the label! Its calories, not points!0
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Love it0
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Well, I can see where you are coming from but don't lose sight of the fact that for every judgemental, evangelical, "do it my way or you'll fail" message there will be one or more that are helpful, rational and understanding.
Losing (or gaining) weight IS hard, and many people are doing this without much support in the real world so at least here is a place that you can throw out any topic around weight and get a response. Just like in the real world some people are annoying and some responses are less than helpful.
Hang in there with your hard work, back away from the forums if you need to.
And I hope you feel better for having a rant!0 -
Vent, vent, vent - how wonderfully refreshing to hear such poetry after only today deciding to embark on what feels like the biggest journey of my life.
:happy:0 -
Well, I can see where you are coming from but don't lose sight of the fact that for every judgemental, evangelical, "do it my way or you'll fail" message there will be one or more that are helpful, rational and understanding.
Losing (or gaining) weight IS hard, and many people are doing this without much support in the real world so at least here is a place that you can throw out any topic around weight and get a response. Just like in the real world some people are annoying and some responses are less than helpful.
Hang in there with your hard work, back away from the forums if you need to.
And I hope you feel better for having a rant!
It is true, there are some amazing posts and some amazing help available on this site...It is why I keep coming back...thank you all for your responses and M05647822 it is the biggest Journey of your life....love every second of it...0 -
I totally agree with everything you said . . im a member of a calorie counting weight loss group called weigh to lose . . & that is the diet I choose to follow . . I joined MFP a few weeks ago for motivational reasons i guess & maybe seeing other people success stories will help keep me going . .I didnt join this site to be critisized for my diet & so far everyone has been really supportive & encouraging to me . .although I to have noticed certain comments on here that are a bit tactless . .the last thing anyone needs when they are struggling with their diet is to be knocked down when they most need encouragement to keep going . . everyone here has their own diet routine be it calorie counting or whatever . .each to their own I say . .If your gonna offer advice to anyone be encouraging & positive. We all have a bad day on our weight loss journey (i have one every week!!) & remember One diet maybe for you but it doesnt mean its right for someone else. We are all trying to do the same thing here but in different ways0
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I have never seen so many EXPERTS in my life STRUGGLE WITH WEIGHT ISSUES!
:laugh:
Sooo true! Some people do tend to take things far too seriously, boardering on being obsessive.
Although, in fairness, I do love the message boards and I have learned a LOT.0 -
I have learned alot too it is the judgement I have an issue with..0
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Well, I can see where you are coming from but don't lose sight of the fact that for every judgemental, evangelical, "do it my way or you'll fail" message there will be one or more that are helpful, rational and understanding.
Losing (or gaining) weight IS hard, and many people are doing this without much support in the real world so at least here is a place that you can throw out any topic around weight and get a response. Just like in the real world some people are annoying and some responses are less than helpful.
Hang in there with your hard work, back away from the forums if you need to.
And I hope you feel better for having a rant!
Exactly what I was thinking 0 -
I so agree with you…I posted something semi-similar on my page because I didn’t have the big ones that you have to bear the criticism that may come so a big round of applause to you….I agree I am so baffled by someone that has over 100lbs to lose and has lost five but has all of the answers really…or like how you said about peoples food diaries and they know all…ok if you know all then why do you need to lose 100lbs …I have about 80lbs and have already lost 100lb before I ever came to this page…but for a minute I let myself get caught up in what all the boards had to say…why because I felt weak and thought that these people might have the magic answer…no they don’t they are just like me on the other side of the computer trying to figure this out….if they had the magic answer they would be rich and everyone would be healthy lol….I do get the feeling that a lot of judgment goes on and why…that is what I do not understand does it make them feel big and bad…is it a power trip?...seriously I will take advice but the back handed criticism is too much for me sometimes…and apparently I had a little rant to do myself lol….0
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Great job loosing your weight hun, I without question feel like we are all here for the same reason....I know we can all help each other and there are some great points of being here it is true...the judgement and hurtfulness is where things need to change...0
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Well said! *applause*0
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Thank you all for your support...It does feel better knowing I am not the only one feeling this way...0
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I agree with the general theme of this thread, but it also reminds me of my biggest complaint with this entire website. Namely, the fact that while MFP is a great tool for tracking daily food intake, water, and exercise, it is seemingly worthless when it comes to providing its members with a reliable, scientifically proven roadmap for its members to follow. As a result, most members flock to the message boards looking for answers and instead get conflicting messages from different members, who, as you pointed out, have zero to little idea of what the hell they're talking about, nor any sources to back up their claims. So, people tend to cling to answers resembling the ones they want (look at any of the threads regarding eating back exercise calories as an example) and tune out ones that contradict that.0
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I've seen a few posts from you lecturing everyone on MFP, so you are not totally immune from the behavior about which you're complaining.
It's a public forum and there will be some very helpful posts and some off-the-wall posts. I'm not sure why people take the opinions of strangers on the internet so seriously in the first place, but you can always move on from the ones that you don't find hepful or report them if they are truly abusive.0 -
I agree with the general theme of this thread, but it also reminds me of my biggest complaint with this entire website. Namely, the fact that while MFP is a great tool for tracking daily food intake, water, and exercise, it is seemingly worthless when it comes to providing its members with a reliable, scientifically proven roadmap for its members to follow. As a result, most members flock to the message boards looking for answers and instead get conflicting messages from different members, who, as you pointed out, have zero to little idea of what the hell they're talking about, nor any sources to back up their claims. So, people tend to cling to answers resembling the ones they want (look at any of the threads regarding eating back exercise calories as an example) and tune out ones that contradict that.
I can agree totally...Of course I somewhat feel the same way about every way I try to find out good solid information having to do with weight loss.....It is funny, well not really, but I am a intelligent woman. I run a very successful career mother of 6 kids married to my twin soul...and I cannot for the life of me get through the crap that is everywhere about weight loss.. I do understand calorie in and out, except it is not that simple. So much information and so much crap....I was 410 pounds and I did not have a food problem. LMAO I know hard to believe, but I didn't eat till late at night and ate a huge meal being starving and I drank 10-15 xtra large steeped tea double doubles every day....I get why I gained weight....Now that I eat, extremely healthy, work out often and research like a mad woman I have a eating problem...Go figure....
That is apart of this rant....We need to help each other..Real information, not judgement...0 -
I've seen a few posts from you lecturing everyone on MFP, so you are not totally immune from the behavior about which you're complaining.
It's a public forum and there will be some very helpful posts and some off-the-wall posts. I'm not sure why people take the opinions of strangers on the internet so seriously in the first place, but you can always move on from the ones that you don't find hepful or report them if they are truly abusive.
I have never lectured a soul....I have never once told someone what they should or should not do, and you don't know me...I have given hugs, I have told them they are doing great, I have stood up and made a stand for what I have learnt in my own journey not someone else's, I have thanked people for teaching me things, I have no problem with advice.....nor does anyone else...and you are right there are helpful posts. I have never said there aren't....0 -
I read a post of a girl who believed she failed over eating a muffin..A FREAKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.and someone responded with your calories are too low...you need healthy calories....WTH!!!!!! how about honey we all go a little insane while trying to loose weight....
Be informative, not judgmental...Be kind not rude....Give advice when asked...these are not hard concepts....DON'T JUDGE is not a hard thing to grasp.....
I understand your point and find a lot of misguided advise in the posts sometimes. but i believe the majority of people think they are offering help.
and as far as the thread you mentioned... that was one tiny little post out of over 30 who were very supportive and did not make the OP feel as though she was doing something wrong. we have to take everything with a grain of salt (and then drink a bunch of water to flush it out :laugh: :drinker: ) and be able to weed out the ones who are unfounded. surround ourselves with friends with similar views and similar paths and ignore those who will not benefit our journeys!0 -
I understand that most people here are trying to help, so the only posts that really, truly annoy me are the ones where people insist that something that is working for me cannot actually work for me. Like the whole "eat your exercise calories" thing. I have never eaten very many of mine, and I have steadily lost weight for nearly a year and a half, so when someone tells me I can't possibly lose weight without eating them, I want to rip my hair out. Really, when I've lost 80 lbs, and you've lost 15, don't insist that you know better than I do what works for ME. If eating your exercise calories works for you, that's fantastic. Go for it. But I have found that I do quite well eating few or none of them. Thanks.0
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I know quotes can be pretty cheesy but.....
"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."
— Paulo Coelho0
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