You Don't Know Jack! Yes I am going to vent...

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  • Kjarlune
    Kjarlune Posts: 178
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    Great job loosing your weight hun, I without question feel like we are all here for the same reason....I know we can all help each other and there are some great points of being here it is true...the judgement and hurtfulness is where things need to change...
  • smex14
    smex14 Posts: 48
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    Well said! *applause*
  • Kjarlune
    Kjarlune Posts: 178
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    Thank you all for your support...It does feel better knowing I am not the only one feeling this way...
  • Mayor_West
    Mayor_West Posts: 246 Member
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    I agree with the general theme of this thread, but it also reminds me of my biggest complaint with this entire website. Namely, the fact that while MFP is a great tool for tracking daily food intake, water, and exercise, it is seemingly worthless when it comes to providing its members with a reliable, scientifically proven roadmap for its members to follow. As a result, most members flock to the message boards looking for answers and instead get conflicting messages from different members, who, as you pointed out, have zero to little idea of what the hell they're talking about, nor any sources to back up their claims. So, people tend to cling to answers resembling the ones they want (look at any of the threads regarding eating back exercise calories as an example) and tune out ones that contradict that.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    I've seen a few posts from you lecturing everyone on MFP, so you are not totally immune from the behavior about which you're complaining.

    It's a public forum and there will be some very helpful posts and some off-the-wall posts. I'm not sure why people take the opinions of strangers on the internet so seriously in the first place, but you can always move on from the ones that you don't find hepful or report them if they are truly abusive.
  • Kjarlune
    Kjarlune Posts: 178
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    I agree with the general theme of this thread, but it also reminds me of my biggest complaint with this entire website. Namely, the fact that while MFP is a great tool for tracking daily food intake, water, and exercise, it is seemingly worthless when it comes to providing its members with a reliable, scientifically proven roadmap for its members to follow. As a result, most members flock to the message boards looking for answers and instead get conflicting messages from different members, who, as you pointed out, have zero to little idea of what the hell they're talking about, nor any sources to back up their claims. So, people tend to cling to answers resembling the ones they want (look at any of the threads regarding eating back exercise calories as an example) and tune out ones that contradict that.

    I can agree totally...Of course I somewhat feel the same way about every way I try to find out good solid information having to do with weight loss.....It is funny, well not really, but I am a intelligent woman. I run a very successful career mother of 6 kids married to my twin soul...and I cannot for the life of me get through the crap that is everywhere about weight loss.. I do understand calorie in and out, except it is not that simple. So much information and so much crap....I was 410 pounds and I did not have a food problem. LMAO I know hard to believe, but I didn't eat till late at night and ate a huge meal being starving and I drank 10-15 xtra large steeped tea double doubles every day....I get why I gained weight....Now that I eat, extremely healthy, work out often and research like a mad woman I have a eating problem...Go figure....

    That is apart of this rant....We need to help each other..Real information, not judgement...
  • Kjarlune
    Kjarlune Posts: 178
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    I've seen a few posts from you lecturing everyone on MFP, so you are not totally immune from the behavior about which you're complaining.

    It's a public forum and there will be some very helpful posts and some off-the-wall posts. I'm not sure why people take the opinions of strangers on the internet so seriously in the first place, but you can always move on from the ones that you don't find hepful or report them if they are truly abusive.


    I have never lectured a soul....I have never once told someone what they should or should not do, and you don't know me...I have given hugs, I have told them they are doing great, I have stood up and made a stand for what I have learnt in my own journey not someone else's, I have thanked people for teaching me things, I have no problem with advice.....nor does anyone else...and you are right there are helpful posts. I have never said there aren't....
  • shellgib
    shellgib Posts: 196 Member
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    I read a post of a girl who believed she failed over eating a muffin..A FREAKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.and someone responded with your calories are too low...you need healthy calories....WTH!!!!!! how about honey we all go a little insane while trying to loose weight....

    Be informative, not judgmental...Be kind not rude....Give advice when asked...these are not hard concepts....DON'T JUDGE is not a hard thing to grasp.....

    I understand your point and find a lot of misguided advise in the posts sometimes. but i believe the majority of people think they are offering help.

    and as far as the thread you mentioned... that was one tiny little post out of over 30 who were very supportive and did not make the OP feel as though she was doing something wrong. we have to take everything with a grain of salt (and then drink a bunch of water to flush it out :laugh: :drinker: ) and be able to weed out the ones who are unfounded. surround ourselves with friends with similar views and similar paths and ignore those who will not benefit our journeys!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I understand that most people here are trying to help, so the only posts that really, truly annoy me are the ones where people insist that something that is working for me cannot actually work for me. Like the whole "eat your exercise calories" thing. I have never eaten very many of mine, and I have steadily lost weight for nearly a year and a half, so when someone tells me I can't possibly lose weight without eating them, I want to rip my hair out. Really, when I've lost 80 lbs, and you've lost 15, don't insist that you know better than I do what works for ME. If eating your exercise calories works for you, that's fantastic. Go for it. But I have found that I do quite well eating few or none of them. Thanks.
  • redhead91
    redhead91 Posts: 251
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    I know quotes can be pretty cheesy but.....

    "We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."
    — Paulo Coelho
  • Kjarlune
    Kjarlune Posts: 178
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    I've seen a few posts from you lecturing everyone on MFP, so you are not totally immune from the behavior about which you're complaining.

    It's a public forum and there will be some very helpful posts and some off-the-wall posts. I'm not sure why people take the opinions of strangers on the internet so seriously in the first place, but you can always move on from the ones that you don't find hepful or report them if they are truly abusive.


    I have never lectured a soul....I have never once told someone what they should or should not do, and you don't know me...I have given hugs, I have told them they are doing great, I have stood up and made a stand for what I have learnt in my own journey not someone else's, I have thanked people for teaching me things, I have no problem with advice.....nor does anyone else...and you are right there are helpful posts. I have never said there aren't....

    I actually have to take this back a bit...I lecture all the time in my job, it is what I do, however I am being asked. People are in my office not on a site...A important thing to state because I do lecture..I just do not judge...I am all about positive assistance, I can even handle a butt kicking or two when done with respect...
  • propjetprop
    propjetprop Posts: 60 Member
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    Kj,

    Are you judging the judgers???

    Seriously though... I think you need to eat a little more as your caloric intake is slightly deficient....













    Just kidding....
  • fraises
    fraises Posts: 16
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    Great post! After all, we all are losing weight for ourselves in a way that works for us, not to please strangers
  • bugnbeansmom
    bugnbeansmom Posts: 292 Member
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    I agree to an extent. My only thing is this.....if someone is going to post or make the diary public, then be prepared for judgement. It is human nature. I agree that what works for me will work for all and vise versa. The only time I feel someone should provide food feedback is when it is asked for or if the poster is in serious danger of an eating disorder. Even then, tread lightly! Overall, I notice the posts for the most part are repeated over and over again and the same people jump in like they are the savior of the eternally fat! The few people I have friended are amazing and super supportive. That is where my support is from. :bigsmile:
  • Bridgetc140
    Bridgetc140 Posts: 405 Member
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    I agree to an extent. My only thing is this.....if someone is going to post or make the diary public, then be prepared for judgement. It is human nature. I agree that what works for me will work for all and vise versa. The only time I feel someone should provide food feedback is when it is asked for or if the poster is in serious danger of an eating disorder. Even then, tread lightly! Overall, I notice the posts for the most part are repeated over and over again and the same people jump in like they are the savior of the eternally fat! The few people I have friended are amazing and super supportive. That is where my support is from. :bigsmile:

    Hhahahaha...funny part about this is people will also JUDGE you for keeping your diary private. You'd think there would be a little more tact and maturity on a site that is supposed to be all adults...............turns out that high school never ends!
  • VixFit2011
    VixFit2011 Posts: 663 Member
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    Absolutely awesome post!!!!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I find it quite common for people to find something that works for them, and for them to automatically assume it's the right way for everyone. I'm one of those low carb dieters. Some people are pretty hostile about this diet. But it really works for me. I feel great. More energy. It doesn't work for everyone, though, including my husband. And that's OK.

    Someone posted about how high school never ends. Indeed!
  • Losingitin2011
    Losingitin2011 Posts: 572 Member
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    This post is amazing. I fell the SAME way. it breaks my heart to see someone get attacked for making a simple mistake. I always go in and post something encouraging because I know that when I am having a rough day, a little encouragement goes a long way.
  • greeneyed84
    greeneyed84 Posts: 427 Member
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    Well said!! I've seen a lot of bullies too but i tend to ignore them and only surround myself with positive people :-)
  • chrisyoung0422
    chrisyoung0422 Posts: 426 Member
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    Sounds like someone intentionally "put on the bullseye" with this post. :heart:

    I take most everything on here with a grain of salt. If you let it get under your skin it will only happen more often.

    There are a lot of bragards (is that spelled correctly? :glasses: ) on here and people who know it all. You have to expect that though with this being a supposed paradise of support.

    I would recommend unsharing your diary and probably dropping a few MFP'ers that are posting what seems to upset you.

    At the end of the day we are all here or should be here for the right reasons. :flowerforyou:

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