You mean I can't lose weight by just *thinking* about exercising?

Hello. I need to lose probably close to 100 pounds, and the thought of that is extremely overwhelming. I can barely get through an afternoon of eating well and getting footsteps in, much less thinking about doing this for the rest of my life. I recently went and signed up for a gym membership, and have only gone twice.

I joined here many months ago, tried a few days by myself, and gave up. I was too depressed and withdrawn to interact with the community here, but I'm back to try again and hopefully see if there are other people like me who I can get to know, and develop some kind of support network. I'm going to be honest, I am just so in hate with myself these days, and feel so out of control and fat and horrible that I just don't even know how to pull myself out of it. I see other people posting "we can do this" or "I will succeed this time", and I can't say I have that same positive thinking. But I want to have it, and I am hoping that surrounding myself with positive people will help change my outlook.

Also, I know I don't have a picture of myself in my profile, but right now I can't bring myself to do it, I don't want to look at my fat face everytime I log in.

I hate being fat and out of control. Also, I swear I'm fun at parties, and I know I seem like a downer right now :) It's just so hard.
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Replies

  • Christinaluvly
    Christinaluvly Posts: 116 Member
    Believe me when I say that most or all of us have felt that way at one point in our Journey. What's awesome about MFP is that you can find people that are going through the same kinds of things. Losing weight is one of the hardest things to do, and it requires a lot of will and patience. Don't go through it alone. Feel free to add me if you'd like... I wish you well:)
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    You CAN do it. Many others have, including others who have been depressed and out of control. Work first on logging accurately and getting some activity in daily. You don't have to go to the gym and work out to lose weight.

    Remember that, while you'll likely have to control your food intake for a long time, you won't have to be at a deficit forever.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,489 Member
    Repetition makes it easier. I had a client who was so afraid to go to the gym. I told him to just make it to the front door. Eventually I knew he'd go through them. Then once he got in, we only hit the exercise for 15 minutes a day (I don't always do this with clients). A week later it was 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Thing is he started to be consistent. And that's all I needed him to do.................was be consistent. After 30 days, we did full sessions and he slowly lost 40 lbs in 1 year. This was a few years back when I lived in VA, but he's a FB friend with me and it looks like he's still maintaining.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • AppleGypsy
    AppleGypsy Posts: 17 Member
    Thanks for the replies :) I've been sitting here reading a bunch of posts and starting to feel a little more optimistic already.
  • I am in the same position as you are, and have over 100 to lose. I hate looking at my profile picture, but I do like that I can remind myself why I am starting this journey. If it takes staring at my own inadequacies to motivate myself, that is what I will do. Add me if you want, and we can support each other.
  • AppleGypsy
    AppleGypsy Posts: 17 Member
    I have a Garmin that I've had since Christmas, and today is the first day I've worn it. Today was the day I decided to make it real by at least trying to try to start, if you know what I mean. I am tracking my food today also, and although its difficult I can see how keeping myself accountable will help.
  • lindzgayle
    lindzgayle Posts: 131 Member
    edited February 2015
    Making such a huge change is overwhelming, no doubt about it! Try to focus on smaller goals, because even 5 lbs lost is less than you weigh today.

    Also, just for kicks, check out the thread Confession Time http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10072694/confession-time-absolutely-no-judgement/p1 That will make you feel a whole lot better about things. Know that nobody is perfect, even the hardbodies on here. :)

    ETA: Read the serious sticky posts, too. Like the "sexy pants" one. Full of good info.
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    lindzgayle wrote: »
    Making such a huge change is overwhelming, no doubt about it! Try to focus on smaller goals, because even 5 lbs lost is less than you weigh today.

    Also, just for kicks, check out the thread Confession Time http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10072694/confession-time-absolutely-no-judgement/p1 That will make you feel a whole lot better about things. Know that nobody is perfect, even the hardbodies on here. :)

    ETA: Read the serious sticky posts, too. Like the "sexy pants" one. Full of good info.

    quoted for truth.
  • RLeighP
    RLeighP Posts: 232 Member
    When I first set out, the first time 5 years ago, I only set a goal to lose 25 lbs. When I hit that, I set one for another 25 lbs. Little goals break the big one up into parts that are easier to reach, which makes it so much less stressful when you look at it.

    You can do it, it's hard work but it's so worth it. And I agree, it's a habit you have to form.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    You can lose 100 lbs. Will it happen quickly no, but it's very possible. Don't make any drastic changes all at once. Reasonable calorie deficit, consistency, lots and lots of patience. Log everything accurately and honestly.

    2 years ago I was 285 lbs, I knew I had to lose weight, knew if I didn't do it this time I probably wouldn't, but had my doubts after years and years of yo-yo dieting. But, taking it slow, showing up every day, and giving my best on that given day was my promise to myself. I've lost the weight, and it's been a fun adventure. Was every day great? Not even close, but I showed up and will continue to show up.

    Good luck to you
  • bahbedwire
    bahbedwire Posts: 95 Member
    I have been on MFP for a couple of years now, and only just started using it consistently in the past 40 days. As everybody else has said: Take it in baby steps. For example, I have set my goal to lose 5kg (11lbs). I need to lose more, but when I hit that goal I will feel that much more accomplished for actually getting to it.

    Nobody is perfect, and a lot of us log even the bad things. I agree with @lindzgayle‌ . Read confession time and other stickies. Join a community group. I'm currently in the "Drop 20 by Easter" group - and while I'm not setting my goal to lose 20lbs, it helps keep me accountable. And you can join at any time to lose any amount of weight that you want.

    Please feel free to add me. I'm happy to be here as a support to you.

    Cheers,

    Bahbedwire
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
    You can do it, if you make small, sustainable changes, changes you can live with for the rest of your life, because that's what you're signing on for. In addition to the great advice stickied at the top of the General and Getting Started forums, I think that Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's book The Diet Fix is a great source of advice, because his guiding principle is that you're not going to sustain a lifestyle change unless you are satisfied while doing it, and he focuses on proven techniques that have worked with his patients, such as keeping a food diary/log, having regular small snacks to avoid ever becoming uncontrollably hungry, and allowing yourself indulgences from time to time.

    I lost 65 pounds. It took me nearly 2 years, but that's a good thing: during those 2 years I learned what I need to know to keep from gaining it back again. And by going slowly, and making small changes that weren't too onerous, I was able to lose it without too much stress and without any feelings of deprivation.

    Again, take small steps, and make small changes. You might start simply by logging what you eat, trying to be as accurate as possible, for a week or two, just to see where you're at, and then decide where to go from there.

    Good luck!
  • lee658
    lee658 Posts: 74 Member
    Believe me when I say that most or all of us have felt that way at one point in our Journey. What's awesome about MFP is that you can find people that are going through the same kinds of things. Losing weight is one of the hardest things to do, and it requires a lot of will and patience. Don't go through it alone. Feel free to add me if you'd like... I wish you well:)

    I couldn't more Christinavly. The fact that your here again means your willing. even though your overall goal might be 100 lbs as you said its overwhelming. Start with more reasonable obtainable goals. Shoot for 10 or 15, once achieved for another 10-15. Getting started is rough. We want to encourage you but not be truthful. Heathy eating and regular exercise. The gym is great, its not for everyone not to start. Start by walking daily and watching calorie intake. Have lots of water, celery baby carrots and healthy snack at the ready to curb cravings. Feel like a snack go for a walk, ride a bike, go to the gym, then reward with heathy energy. There's nothing more helpful for me than encouraging and rewarding others for their successes. Your welcome to add me for motivation. Your off to a great start, your here and your reaching out, good for you:-)
  • lee658
    lee658 Posts: 74 Member
    I meant not be untruthful, sorry...
  • Victoriamrs
    Victoriamrs Posts: 99 Member
    As other posters have said small goals.

    Tell yourself you will log in for one day, then try 2 then 3 so on and so forth. Maybe don't think about the 100lbs you are trying to lose, for me the first step was logging my food intake every day and making small changes in my diet (smaller portions for example, less chocolate, soda etc). Before I knew it I was losing inches. Then I started introducing exercise first walks, followed by swimming and now the gym.

    If you fall off the wagon have a bad day (believe me it happens) don't dwell on it brush yourself down and move forward remember a day is only 24 hours just start again. This is your life fight for it!

    Good luck and if you need a friend for motivation and support feel free to add me! :)
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    First takes some before pictures. You will be so happy you did! 100lbs is doable and even doable in less time than you think. You have to commit though. You have to say no matter what happens, no matter how many things come up or how badly I want that pizza, I am doing this. I went from 218 to 118 in less than a year and I held to that range for 2+ yrs. I am now 123 because the new goal is muscle building.

    1. Recognize your excuses when you try to use them and then stop using them. Believe it or not everyone has obstacles and the difference between those who make it and those who fail is whether we see them as a challenge or a crutch.
    2. Start with calorie counting. It might not be the plan you end up with but it is the easiest to understand in the beginning. Just cut back and don't worry about macro nutrition until you manage to get a decent handle on looking at labels. For now you want low cal and filling so lots of fiber veggies and lean meat. It can be overwhelming to look at good fats and bad fats and hitting protein macros. Take a multivitamin a calcium supplement and then just know that your body has 100lbs of storage that it can eat from if it needs anything else.
    3. If the gym makes you hungry (like it does me) then hold off until you have control of your diet. You can be active without the gym in smaller burst through out the day. I didn't have a gym membership or a reg exercise routine for any of the 100lbs that I lost. I parked further away, danced with my baby in the living room, took my toddler to the park, read my email standing up, fixed my posture, and made sure I was moving some part of me all the time and that was my gym. It didn't make me hungrier and I still increased my energy and gained stamina.
    4. Don't depend on anyone noticing even you. You might not see a change in the mirror for a while. Other people might not see a change for even longer. I saw some people I knew after losing 50lbs and they didn't even notice. I saw them again after 100 and their jaws dropped. If my pant size hadn't been decreasing I wouldn't have noticed I was changing for the first 30lbs. Sometimes the mirror and the scale and even others do not tell you what you want to hear. That cannot alter your resolve if you want to be successful.
    5. Get organized. Plan your food, even your snacks, every single day and do not break the plan even for a crumb. If its not on the plan don't put it in your mouth. I don't care what other people say about not being able to live like that forever. You don't have to live like that forever, just until you have lost the weight and learned the difference between a "treat" and food that is meant to fuel you. You have to look at food as just fuel for the next year. It is not filler for when the conversation with a friend gets awkward, it is not comfort when you have had a bad day, it is not a reward for when you did something great, it is fuel that makes your body move. You have to break up with food (no "one last fling" either), it is not your friend, it is an abusive lover who is slowly killing you.

    Good Luck! You can do this!
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Well, welcome to the community. You can definitely do this! Check out the success stories-- lots of people have done amazing things. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. But know that you don't have to do everything all at once. Maybe start getting your meals in order and your calories figured out & logging accurately... then try going for walks and/or the gym a couple times a week. Set small, manageable goals for yourself and that might help it not seem like so much. Good luck to you! Hang in there and you'll get this! :)
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    You actually can lose weight without thinking about or doing exercise if you just eat at a deficit. But you'll feel so much better if you exercise and your health will probably improve. And you can eat more every day if you work out.

    But at where you are, you don't need to get stressed about running into the gym. Take it easy. If the thought of going to the gym is really getting to you, put the membership on hold for a few months. Most gyms will let you do that for a low monthly rate. I had to do that when I was in physical therapy for a while and they charged me $15 a month. That way, you're not giving up, but you're not putting pressure on yourself.

    You'll also probably feel less depressed as you lose weight. If you stick with a reasonable food plan you can lose about a pound or two a week to start without starving yourself.

    Good luck and stick with it.
  • I can totally understand the feeling of standing at the bottom of the mountain, looking up... Saying "Well, that's a long way, it's going to hurt and be a struggle. I'm probably not all that good at climbing."

    I've had about 150 pounds to go at the start. I'm down 14 lbs. It'll be a year or two before I hit my goal, most likely. Still a fight everyday to not go back to old habits. I mean, a super big struggle. I can get there if I work at it, and if I can get there, pretty much anyone can.

    One thing I struggle with, and by your post maybe you do to, is self talk. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. I don't know about you, but I was horribly bullied growing up, and the last thing I want to do is add myself to a long list of bullies.

    Good luck, and feel free to friend me if it'll help. I'm on here everyday poking around, reminding myself to be healthier. :smile:
  • AppleGypsy
    AppleGypsy Posts: 17 Member
    I really appreciate all of your feedback, and its really helping me to feel good about doing this. brown eyed- I actually was bullied also growing up! (jerks) and I hear what youre saying but I am at a real bad place right now, and I am not anywhere near loving myself. Hopefully that will come with the hard work I do.