No sugar - My son is 12 and 234 pounds!

24

Replies

  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,069 Member
    herrspoons wrote: »
    I have to ask... Is this for real?

    A pre prepubescent kid who weighs 234?

    I was hoping troll actually, rather than everyone being nicey nicey to someone who has fed a 12 yr old to the tune of nearly 17 stone!
  • sjaplo
    sjaplo Posts: 974 Member
    Highest I was at 12 was 140lbs - mind you I was only 4' 11" tall. There were a couple of larger guys in school, but they were also taller. I did find that oganosed sports helped me slim down in the summer - perhaps find some sporting activity he enjoys? Doesn't have to be team related if body image is an issue - just has to be strenuous enough to burn calories. And obviously diet education is a necessary portion also.

  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    edited February 2015
    Sorry can't help other than his need dad needs a serious talking to!!! He's killing his son with kindness :disappointed:

    Nothing about what that man is feeding his son is "kind". It's borderline abuse to continually overfeed a child who has no say and doesn't know any better. Children trust their parents, it's the parents' job to not abuse that trust by allowing them things that are detrimental to their health.

    yes but alot of parents reward their kids with food. Junk food is a special treat. The father thinks he's being kind/nice by giving his kid yummy food that he enjoys.
    I had a chubby dog because I was giving her too many treats. I thought I was being a good doggy mum, when in fact I was the opposite.
    herrspoons wrote: »
    I have to ask... Is this for real?

    A pre prepubescent kid who weighs 234?

    There are plenty of these kids around unfortunately. I'm not pointing fingers here, but they usually have equally as overweight parents.
    You see them at the grocery store with their trollies filled to the brim with junk food :disappointed::angry:

  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    This kid needs help NOW or else he will face a lifetime of misery, health problems and obesity
  • elphie754 wrote: »
    I am sorry but I have a really hard time believing this..

    http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/DVP.html

    An interesting article on Domestic Violence by Proxy.
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    I'll agree with the comment about the courts. "Best interest of the child" and all that.

    Aside from dad and the mysterious "half and half," maybe try swimming? Should be easy on his joints, it can be a solo activity if he doesn't want to be in a large group, and it is a great work out.

    (If half and half is cream and not tea, the dad would get a long with my grandma. The woman puts half and half creamer in coffee, over cereal and over ice-cream. She, however, doesn't gain weight. At all. Ever.)
  • SwankyTomato
    SwankyTomato Posts: 442 Member
    edited February 2015
    Your issue is pretty severe.

    I would tell you to get a new doctor, get a full physical with complete blood panel, and see a pediatric dietitian.

    In the blood panel make sure they include liver function and cholesterol. Also very important to test for diabetes.

    You need to come at this from a medical stance.

    Just "cutting out sugar" at your home is a good idea in theory however your problem is more than just cutting out sugar.

    You need a balanced diet in calories and activity. For that, your son needs you to be a leader and not someone who is just withholding treats from him. You can have sugar and treats you just need to balance it in his diet.
  • LeenaGee
    LeenaGee Posts: 749 Member
    Ok this is how I see it. Both parents have overfed this child and we now have the situation of a 12 yr old who is in extreme danger.

    Rather than play the blame game, what can be done? First, accept your share of the blame and accept that you can't at this stage alter what the father does. But you can change things your end and, with the help of a good professional trained in child obesity cases, it is vital that you enlist the co operation of your son. He needs to want to change. At 12 years of age, he has to take control of what he eats and you as his parent have to guide him by example.

    Totally change things your end and do it together with your son but I believe you need professional help to do this.
  • bonnieh1638
    bonnieh1638 Posts: 28 Member
    elphie754 wrote: »
    I am sorry but I have a really hard time believing this..

    http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/DVP.html

    An interesting article on Domestic Violence by Proxy.

    Very interesting article. Bottom line - It needs to be about the child, not the conflicts between the parents. It saddens me because in the long run it's the child that suffers :(
  • reginab1984
    reginab1984 Posts: 41 Member
    This is what comes from doing away with gym class in schools, eliminating competitive sports from children's' lives, and allowing them to spend every waking hour holed up in their rooms playing video games. When I was a kid, me, my brother, and our friends could eat whatever we wanted, even hamburgers and French fries every day, and still be rail thin. Why? Because we were outside playing from morning until night. The idea of having to put a 12 year old boy on a diet saddens me to no end, especially when I think about how easily the situation could have been avoided.
  • ogmomma2012
    ogmomma2012 Posts: 1,520 Member
    This is what comes from doing away with gym class in schools, eliminating competitive sports from children's' lives, and allowing them to spend every waking hour holed up in their rooms playing video games. When I was a kid, me, my brother, and our friends could eat whatever we wanted, even hamburgers and French fries every day, and still be rail thin. Why? Because we were outside playing from morning until night. The idea of having to put a 12 year old boy on a diet saddens me to no end, especially when I think about how easily the situation could have been avoided.

    That's quite a judgement considering you know next to nothing about this mom and her son, only that the son is over weight and was taught bad eating habits. I did P.E. and was out all day. I was still a chubby tween/teen so you cannot blame it all on this broken system anyway. "When I was a kid" Should never be used because we don't all share the same hobbies, food habits, body chemisty or metabolism.
  • ...Bottom line - It needs to be about the child, not the conflicts between the parents....

    Domestic violence and the continued use of family courts to abuse their families has nothing to do with a "conflict between parents". Domestic Violence is a one sided crime.

    Look, I've sort of hi-jacked this thread, admittedly. A 12 year old child who weighs over 200lbs did so under the guidance of the parent with whom he primarily lives.

    I have however, made it my mission to shed a spot light on what it happening in the family court system all over the world. And the idea that judges make decisions based on what is in "the best interests of the child", simply could not be farther from the truth.
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    Sorry can't help other than his need dad needs a serious talking to!!! He's killing his son with kindness :disappointed:

    Nothing about what that man is feeding his son is "kind". It's borderline abuse to continually overfeed a child who has no say and doesn't know any better. Children trust their parents, it's the parents' job to not abuse that trust by allowing them things that are detrimental to their health.

    yes but alot of parents reward their kids with food. Junk food is a special treat. The father thinks he's being kind/nice by giving his kid yummy food that he enjoys.
    I had a chubby dog because I was giving her too many treats. I thought I was being a good doggy mum, when in fact I was the opposite.

    Um... a dog, no matter how much you love and adore, is not the same thing as a child. Don't do that comparison. :noway:

  • This content has been removed.
  • reginab1984
    reginab1984 Posts: 41 Member
    This is what comes from doing away with gym class in schools, eliminating competitive sports from children's' lives, and allowing them to spend every waking hour holed up in their rooms playing video games. When I was a kid, me, my brother, and our friends could eat whatever we wanted, even hamburgers and French fries every day, and still be rail thin. Why? Because we were outside playing from morning until night. The idea of having to put a 12 year old boy on a diet saddens me to no end, especially when I think about how easily the situation could have been avoided.

    That's quite a judgement considering you know next to nothing about this mom and her son, only that the son is over weight and was taught bad eating habits. I did P.E. and was out all day. I was still a chubby tween/teen so you cannot blame it all on this broken system anyway. "When I was a kid" Should never be used because we don't all share the same hobbies, food habits, body chemisty or metabolism.

    So you're saying there's no correlation between the staggering rates of childhood obesity and the utter lack of physical activity amongst children nowadays? Give me a break. Furthermore, the kid is 234 pounds, which is morbidly obese, not "chubby," as you described yourself at that age. Lastly, I fail to see what memories from my childhood have to do with "hobbies, food habits, body chemistry or metabolism." If you're trying imply that the one third of all children who are overweight or obese are that way because of faulty metabolisms, I would say ummmm...no.

  • reginab1984
    reginab1984 Posts: 41 Member
    emily_stew wrote: »
    This is what comes from doing away with gym class in schools, eliminating competitive sports from children's' lives, and allowing them to spend every waking hour holed up in their rooms playing video games. When I was a kid, me, my brother, and our friends could eat whatever we wanted, even hamburgers and French fries every day, and still be rail thin. Why? Because we were outside playing from morning until night. The idea of having to put a 12 year old boy on a diet saddens me to no end, especially when I think about how easily the situation could have been avoided.

    Pretty sure you're not qualified to make those assumptions, judgey judgerson.
    Unless you actually know the OP and her son.

    I always enjoy when an individual is accusing another individual of being judgmental. You do realize that, in doing so, you are being judgmental as well, right?

    In any event, how do you think the kid got to 234 pounds? The most popular ways I know of include eating too much and moving too little, but if you've got some insider information on some other ways to do it, I'll listen.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I have to agree, most kids these days don't have anywhere near the activity levels we had when I was a kid
  • rankinr
    rankinr Posts: 3 Member
    herrspoons wrote: »
    I have to ask... Is this for real?

    A pre prepubescent kid who weighs 234?
    Would not be surprised at all. When I turned 13, I was 245lbs.
  • Camo_xxx
    Camo_xxx Posts: 1,082 Member
    Just to get some perspective on the 234 lbs, What would a healthy weight be for this child ?
  • This content has been removed.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Camo_xxx wrote: »
    Just to get some perspective on the 234 lbs, What would a healthy weight be for this child ?

    I have a daughter who is nearly 10 - she weighs 68 pounds.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Sorry you have to go through this, but the father needs to get on board.
  • reginab1984
    reginab1984 Posts: 41 Member
    Camo_xxx wrote: »
    Just to get some perspective on the 234 lbs, What would a healthy weight be for this child ?

    The average 12 year old boy weighs about 90 pounds, according to the CDC.
  • ogmomma2012
    ogmomma2012 Posts: 1,520 Member
    My 2 Year old is 34lbs and can push a completely full shopping cart. Does his weight alone determine his health? Probably not.
    I think a goal of 150 for the OPs child would be sufficient as any drop in calories is going to have a major effect for a while.
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
    Camo_xxx wrote: »
    Just to get some perspective on the 234 lbs, What would a healthy weight be for this child ?

    About 90 lbs with an average height of 58 inches.

    My daughter is on the opposite end of the spectrum. She's almost 10 and weighs 54lbs and is 50 inches tall.
  • there may a nutrition education program already in place at your son's school or in the district. Maybe you can ask about it. I think giving him more control over what he eats or exercises would be a good way to approach this, for example, signing him up for cooking classes or a sport he likes. Or the two of you doing a program together. Your hmo may have something for you also. I know there are afterschool programs that offer cooking, nutrition, etc. classes. Maybe talking to his teacher or counselor will help as well as they may know of resources that are available.
  • shaddowstorm
    shaddowstorm Posts: 155 Member
    I have a simular problem although it's my mum who wont change her eating habits but she's an adult and I don't think a 12yr would fully comprehend the seriousness of the situation.
    Sounds like it's not just 'Sugar' as it's just 'Junk Food'
    Not sure if you are separated with his father but if I was you and my son was on my watch I'd be watching him like a hawk making him healthier meals so that when he does go out with his dad he can eat a junk meal.
  • LeenaGee
    LeenaGee Posts: 749 Member
    My 2 Year old is 34lbs and can push a completely full shopping cart. Does his weight alone determine his health? Probably not.
    I think a goal of 150 for the OPs child would be sufficient as any drop in calories is going to have a major effect for a while.

    If he eats a healthy diet, it is not a problem. I looked up children's height and weight charts and he is the height of a 4 year.

    I really feel mother and child have to be involved to get this 12 year back on track. He has to want to do it and both him and his mother need to be given the knowledge and skills to do it. A perfect scenario would be to get the father involved as well. Oh for a perfect world. :)
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    How tall is this kid?

    I was nearly my adult height/frame size by that age, though that would be unusual for a boy.
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,860 Member
    Camo_xxx wrote: »
    Just to get some perspective on the 234 lbs, What would a healthy weight be for this child ?

    Well, my 12yo (and 4 month) son is 5'7" flat and weighs 96lbs. He is 10th percentile for BMI for his age and eats constantly.

    Anywhere from 80-150lbs could be normal depending on height.
This discussion has been closed.