Your embarrassing fat shame moment
dougpconnell219
Posts: 566 Member
Reading a post here from a new poster, I had a thought. Similar to the confession page, I thought we should have a thread where people tell thier most humiliating fat story. Just so people know it's not just them.
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So here is mine.
In college, one of my friends had pool party. I went, but declined to get in the pool, as I didn't want to take my shirt off.
One girl kept bugging me about it, saying "I know why you won't get in" and whatnot. Finally, just to shut her up, I got in.
That is where the nickname "mammy" (referring to my man boobs) was born, and it stuck for years. Always bothered me, but I never let on.
That's just one of many, but it stands out.
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So here is mine.
In college, one of my friends had pool party. I went, but declined to get in the pool, as I didn't want to take my shirt off.
One girl kept bugging me about it, saying "I know why you won't get in" and whatnot. Finally, just to shut her up, I got in.
That is where the nickname "mammy" (referring to my man boobs) was born, and it stuck for years. Always bothered me, but I never let on.
That's just one of many, but it stands out.
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Oh I've got a few of these too....
My most recent embarrassing one that made me really realise I needed to make a change was a few years ago. I was in a meditation class and all they had were these crappy folding chairs that tend to have a low weight limit. Anyway my chair was already kind of messed up but when i sat on it....bam.....down I went. In front of a circle of other meditators......so embarrassing that I never went back (never missed it really, too many new age foofs lol). But it sucked all the same.
Around the same time, I flew up to Queensland to visit family and had to request a seat belt extender for both flights because the belt didn't fit around me. The return home flight was so turbulent that I prayed to God that if I landed safely I'd lose weight. LOLOLOL.0 -
I was bringing my sister, who was in full labor, to the hospital. While checking in, the nurse asked us which one was having the baby. Dang, did that make me feel bad. Stupid nurse.0
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^^^^ ouchhhhhhhhhh. She should know better. Btw I LOVE your profile pic!0
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Hi Doug, are you talking about my post? :-)0
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StarlaTheTempAtKZUG wrote: »Hi Doug, are you talking about my post? :-)
Yes. Brought back memories.
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My first year teaching (kindergarten), I had read the "True Story of the 3 Little Pigs." On one page is a picture of the wolf with a super round belly from eating a piggy or two. One of my little girls came up to me and said I looked like him -_- I lost weight my 2nd year, but put some back on.
This year, my 3rd, same grade level, another girl asked if I had a baby in there, as she pointed to my belly. 2 other teachers at the school are pregnant. Coupled with a few other things, here I am.0 -
All my life I was picked on for being a bit chubby by 'friends' and family. My friends were all skinny minis and I was always very clearly the fat friend. My family called me "wide load."
I carry a lot of my weight around my hips and thighs...and my butt. I have a big butt! This one time in high school, a black chick grabbed a handful of my butt as I was climbing some stairs and said, "Damn, girl, you got a black girl booty!" I think I was perversely proud in that moment (l knew the girl, by the way, before you freak out. We weren't anything more than classmates, but still). If only I could have this donk without all the rest of this excess fat!
Other than that, it never really came from other kids and strangers. I started to "own" that I was fat in college. Cracking jokes about being fat and food became second nature. I guess it's insult myself before they do... Except once. I was crossing the street to get to Subway and a truck was barreling down the pedestrian friendly path, so I stopped to let them pass. They stopped instead and motioned for me to pass. As I was crossing, the driver (some old lady) said, "Yeah, go on, fat girl." I turned around to flip them off and she mumbled something to the effect ofc "Back atcha," and sped off. I felt humiliated that someone would go out of their way to make me feel bad.0 -
I have several. Everyone underestimates my weight. I've learned not to trust people when they say "Dont worry it will hold you"
I've had seat belts on planes that don't fit. I never asked for extensions. I just tucked it under my belly and pretended it was fastened.
Broke a few lawn chairs as well lol
The worst (and probably my turning point), was when I went to a public toilet, which was very small, and realized I couldn't reach to wipe. Was not publicly embarrassing but was humiliating non-the-less0 -
When I was about 13 I remember my grandma and two of my aunts sitting me down and forcing me to eat green peppers and telling me I needed to lose weight. The odd thing was they were all morbidly obese.
I've been asked once if I was pregnant. It was bad timing considering my husband had died a few months prior and I had started gaining weight due to my emotional eating so I had a bit of a meltdown right there.
My sister posted a full body pic of me on Facebook. I was so mortified that I started crying as soon as I seen it.0 -
I was in nursing school and doing one of my rotations. Of course we wear those horrible scrubs which are not the least bit flattering on anyone, but one of of the patients asked me if I was pregnant.
I'm a sarcastic smartass by nature, and I blurted out, "No, I'm just fat."
Of course, this embarrassed her, which was my intent, but it made me feel bad too. Not only the way I immediately reacted, but that someone would even ask me that. But if they asked me that, there must be a reason. And that reason is, I'm overweight.0 -
SassyMoonbeams wrote: »Oh I've got a few of these too....
My most recent embarrassing one that made me really realise I needed to make a change was a few years ago. I was in a meditation class and all they had were these crappy folding chairs that tend to have a low weight limit. Anyway my chair was already kind of messed up but when i sat on it....bam.....down I went. In front of a circle of other meditators......so embarrassing that I never went back (never missed it really, too many new age foofs lol). But it sucked all the same.
I had a very similar experience. It was like you, my most humiliating experience. We were at a family camp-out thing, and I was with my boyfriends family. I was sitting on one of those "saggy bum" chairs, of which we left out in the winter all season...and had it for a few years. The chairs were in rough shape, but I did not notice. I was sitting on it, and it eventually gave out and I hit the ground through the frame of the chair. It was very embarassing, and I had already lost like 20-30lbs when this occurred...so I had a good cry about it and just doubted the whole weight-loss thing after this.
I can kind of look back and think how I wanted to give up, and here I am at 90lbs down...and I am glad I did not let this experience stop me.
Along with the many times I was asked if I was pregnant...ugh.
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When I was about 13 I remember my grandma and two of my aunts sitting me down and forcing me to eat green peppers and telling me I needed to lose weight. The odd thing was they were all morbidly obese.
I've been asked once if I was pregnant. It was bad timing considering my husband had died a few months prior and I had started gaining weight due to my emotional eating so I had a bit of a meltdown right there.
My sister posted a full body pic of me on Facebook. I was so mortified that I started crying as soon as I seen it.
Sorry to hear that.
Similar story with my grandma: she was on some bizarre diet and made me do it with her for three days. I was a total space cadet those days... It was VLC and she kept having me chug water every hour. I lost five pounds and as soon as I got home, I ate EVERYTHING. It was miserable.0 -
I wasn't even fat.
But I've always had a lower tummy. Not so great when it's sticking out just below the waistband of your Catholic school uniform. We were standing in line to go outside. The two girls in front of me, who were not skinny, decided to notice it that day. "Poke," they said, and poked me in the stomach. "Pooch! Poke!" I said, "Stop it, I don't like that" and crossed my arms over my stomach. A habit I have never broken. They said, "Can't you take a joke? You look pregnant! It's funny!"
We were in fourth grade.0 -
The most recent one is when I got on the bus and a lady offered me her seat because I shouldn't be standing up "in my condition", looking at my belly. Couldn't really laugh about it. I mean, I'm swedish and IF we DO talk to strangers on the bus, that's not the right thing to say unless someone is obviously pregnant, lol. I wasn't THAT big..
I became painfully aware of my weight, the size of my waist line and people's cruelty though the first time when I was about 11 and found a note in my desk, a drawing of me with messy hair and a huge belly. That one still hurts, actually. The teacher taking the side of the bullies in front of the whole class didn't help either. I thought of myself as fat ever since. Looking back at photos I became skinny after that age and during my teenage years but I thought I was huge.
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I broke a toilet seat once in a new place
Getting harassed by some young punks I tried to chase them away only made it worse. I end up fake calling the police. They ran away0 -
I have a few of these myself but the most recent is a full body picture my sister in law placed on Facebook of me without my permission. It was a horrible picture. I have only placed head shots of me on Facebook in the past because I was a shame of my body. I was so embarrassed of the picture that I have now decided it's time for me to do something about my weight and to enjoy this weight loss journey with MFP.0
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I've got 2:
I went to an amusement park, tried to get on a ride and couldn't get the lap bar down completely.
I was walking do the hallway at work one day, and my belt just exploded at the buckle. It made a loud metallic popping sound, as I stepped down. It just broke from being stretched to the max.0 -
Last year someone posted a candid shot on Facebook of me sitting on the bleachers watching my daughter's softball game. It was summer in Alabama, and I was wearing gym shorts and a tank top. I was probably about 220lbs at the time. I didn't recognize myself.
We were hiking in Dismals Canyon and there is a narrow pass called Fat Man's Misery. I got stuck. I pretty much had to go back while my family finished the hike.
I mean, I know I am big, but I didn't think I was THAT big. My husband made it through with the baby in the Kelty backpack.0 -
I went out to lunch with the CFO of our company and a vendor. Someone snapped a picture of us both sitting there with me stuffing my face. You could barely see the CFO in the picture because of my huge arm. Then, of course, someone posted the picture on the company web site. I was MORTIFIED! Stupid really since everyone can see me at work each day, but to see it on the company home page made me ill. Funny, the CFO is the only one at work who has said anything really positive about my weight loss. I am sure she remembers that picture, too. Ha Ha.0
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Walk of shame after getting on a roller coaster and the safety bar could not get into place. Very embarrassing.0
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When I was 10, we were visiting my mom's family that I hadn't seen since I was a baby. I made the mistake of telling my cousin, who is 6 years older than me, that I liked the Ben & Jerry's flavor Chunky Monkey. For the rest of the trip, every time I was around him he would sing (to the tune of the Beastie Boys song Brass Monkey) "fat monkey, that chunky monkey".
He's a nice guy now, but I still really hate that song.0 -
Laurend224 wrote: »Last year someone posted a candid shot on Facebook of me sitting on the bleachers watching my daughter's softball game. It was summer in Alabama, and I was wearing gym shorts and a tank top. I was probably about 220lbs at the time. I didn't recognize myself.
I wonder how many people have been motivated to lose weight because of Facebook pictures....0 -
I once posted several pictures of my daughter's first birthday. In one of the pictures I'm holding her up on an awkward position that made my belly look HUGE. A friend from high school started congratulating me on the news, saying she didn't know there was another one on its way.
I deleted the comment without ever replying. She must have eventually figured out her mistake.0 -
I was the jaw-droppingly fat kid in school before it was normal for there to be a few of them in every school. By 4th grade I was in a bra, while the other girls were still in undershirts, and it was apparently a good reason to tease me. We also had communal gym showers in 4th and 5th grade, so that caught me even more hell. I was getting pregnant jokes in middle school, people shouting "boom" with every step I took in the hallways, more rhyming insult names than I can remember, essentially considered less than human. Someone kicked in a bathroom stall door on me, I ended up with a black eye, they didn't see why they should be in trouble for it, "it should've just bounced off." Tripped in gym class, prepare for at least a week of earthquake jokes. If my plus sized versions of whatever was in fashion that year had a label, that label would be the punchline of catty mean girl jokes for months. Had one of the star football players try to put a garbage bag over my head and tell me I should just die and get it over with (for some reason that got me a reserved seat on the bus instead of him, I guess state championships overrule assault, I'll admit I did unashamedly laugh when he blew his knee out that year). There were other guys who thought it was ok to push, grab, or throw things at me for entertainment, in one case flat out hit me, at least THAT one got suspended. He's also the only one who ever came up to me after high school to apologize, and he was sincere about it.
It didn't help that I was also the tallest kid in the class from around 3rd grade on until the guys finally got around to going through puberty, and even then, most of them were pretty short, still. There's really nowhere to hide when you can see completely over the heads of everyone around you, including some of the teachers.
My entire public school career could be listed as a "fat shame moment," though I prefer to think of it as a very candid look into human nature. A lot of the things that happened to me wouldn't fly anymore, because of the zero tolerance policies and anti-bullying programs, but a lot of it still does. I wonder how many of the kids who do it today are being raised by the ones who did it in the 80's.0 -
Far too many to list but the turning point was at my 7 yo daughter's soccer practice. At the end of one practice they had the parents come out on the pitch for a parents vs kids match. There was no way to avoid it. One of the parents took some video and posted it on FB. There I was, lumbering along with that awkward fat guy run, moobs and everything else jiggling about. I couldn't believe that was me. I've never been so ashamed of anything in my life.0
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I honestly don't consider, the moments described by most of the above posters to be; embarrassing moments. It seems to me, that they were; life saving moments. I as a child, had an enlarged liver; which made me look pregnant. It helped me to not be ashamed of myself, when I am overweight because I couldn't do anything about shrinking that. It shrank but as my health declined (I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), it was replaced with fat. I am not an image conscious person because I've always been aware, that if people heavier than me, can get married/have children & a career, I can too & that's all I ever wanted to have; in life. However improving my health, so that my body can be the best vessel as possible; for any future children that I might birth/is the 1st reason why I'm here & the 2nd, is so that I can be more physically involved with them; than I'd be able to with more weight attached to me.0
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A few years ago, I told some co-workers I was going to be out for 6-8 weeks because I was having surgery. One looked at me and said "you are having gastric bypass?" Nope, that wasn't it.
Seeing pictures of myself makes me sick! If I see someone tagged me on FB in a non approved by me pic, I untag myself and ask them to delete it.0 -
Mine was a series of small things that added up. First is that I had twins. I was a buck ten soaking wet when I got pregnant with them and nearly 200 lbs by the time I had them and it was all in front. I lost the pregnancy weight, but now when I'm bloated or something, the muscles in my stomach are so stretched that they do not hold. I instantly look 7 months pregnant. That was before I gained weight. When I did start gaining weight, it went there first (then everywhere else). Second, I'm married to a soldier and there's a running joke that every soldier gets a BMW (Big military wife). When I started to gain weight, the hubby joked that he was just getting his BMW. He meant to reassure me, but I took it as a personal challenge. Third was that I have two little sisters. After giving birth to three kids in one year, I was still the skinny one. Then I turned my sister on to MFP. She lost 40 lbs and I gained. The other sister suddenly dropped a bunch of weight too. Now, they pass their fat clothes to me and I've had to give my skinny stuff to them. Fourth was a lady in church asking when I was finally going to have that baby. The hubby and I have six kids together (brady bunch thing) and we got fixed before we met. The youngest are 11. So I tell her, "No baby. I'm just fat." She asks me dubiously, "So there's really nothing in there?" "No, just fat." The choir director walked up at that point and almost lost it. She just turned quickly and went the other direction. Lastly, my momma is a big woman. At a family event, I spilled something on my pants and she offered me a pair of hers. I love my momma dearly and I look almost exactly like her, but I don't want end up with the same health problems. the same weight problems, the same denial problems. So here I am.0
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I was the jaw-droppingly fat kid in school before it was normal for there to be a few of them in every school. By 4th grade I was in a bra, while the other girls were still in undershirts, and it was apparently a good reason to tease me. We also had communal gym showers in 4th and 5th grade, so that caught me even more hell. I was getting pregnant jokes in middle school, people shouting "boom" with every step I took in the hallways, more rhyming insult names than I can remember, essentially considered less than human. Someone kicked in a bathroom stall door on me, I ended up with a black eye, they didn't see why they should be in trouble for it, "it should've just bounced off." Tripped in gym class, prepare for at least a week of earthquake jokes. If my plus sized versions of whatever was in fashion that year had a label, that label would be the punchline of catty mean girl jokes for months. Had one of the star football players try to put a garbage bag over my head and tell me I should just die and get it over with (for some reason that got me a reserved seat on the bus instead of him, I guess state championships overrule assault, I'll admit I did unashamedly laugh when he blew his knee out that year). There were other guys who thought it was ok to push, grab, or throw things at me for entertainment, in one case flat out hit me, at least THAT one got suspended. He's also the only one who ever came up to me after high school to apologize, and he was sincere about it.
It didn't help that I was also the tallest kid in the class from around 3rd grade on until the guys finally got around to going through puberty, and even then, most of them were pretty short, still. There's really nowhere to hide when you can see completely over the heads of everyone around you, including some of the teachers.
My entire public school career could be listed as a "fat shame moment," though I prefer to think of it as a very candid look into human nature. A lot of the things that happened to me wouldn't fly anymore, because of the zero tolerance policies and anti-bullying programs, but a lot of it still does. I wonder how many of the kids who do it today are being raised by the ones who did it in the 80's.
Your story is horrible, and I am so sorry you had to go through this. Not right, not fair at all.0
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