Why are some people so unsupportive?

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Annanna91
Annanna91 Posts: 54 Member
in Motivation and Support
In the past year I've lost around 25lbs through eating healthier and exercising more. Whilst I feel great and perceive myself to look a lot better, some people are really negative towards my new lifestyle.

My family (mother in particular) criticises my weight loss and says I've gone "too far" whilst friends have called me a "skinny *kitten*." I appreciate that I have lost weight, but I'm at healthy bmi now. I weight 118lbs and am 5'5 tall.

It's just got me wondering why they're so negative and has anyone been like this towards you before?
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Replies

  • acmanna
    acmanna Posts: 200 Member
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    Maybe they are jealous? You are within a healthy weight range, you should be happy and proud of yourself. Maybe try sitting down with your mom to tell her how you feel.
  • maddyk91
    maddyk91 Posts: 193 Member
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    Just tell everyone that your weight isnt a conversation topic. Period.

    Always works for me. ;)
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Depends. You're at the low end of female bmi so you probably look quite thin to them, even if you're technically still in the healthy range. Are you still trying to lose weight? Because I think 2.5 pound less and your in the unhealthy range for your height. It's so close that even if they are wrong, I could understand them being concerned.

    BTW, is your real name Anna? Just curious.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
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    Normally I would say these people are jealous, but in truth you are pretty thin. The low end of healthy BMI is not necessarily a good place for everyone of that height.
  • cherys
    cherys Posts: 387 Member
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    People use skinny ***** as a compliment, and almost always out of jealousy.
    I think it's worth a quick chat with them, explaining you want to be fit and healthy. If they don't like that, spend more time with people who do. But also be honest with yourself: have you become obsessive at the expense of enjoying life? It's great that you are conscious of BMI and staying within it, but you are at the lower end of it. Weight loss enables us to live fit and healthy lives and look good. It's not an end in itself.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I know for myself, personally at 5'5", I start to look a little ill.
  • suz155
    suz155 Posts: 326 Member
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    I personally believe if many of my friends and family tell me something appears to be wrong, I need to look at it. They love me and they will tell me the truth.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    DavPul wrote: »
    Depends. You're at the low end of female bmi so you probably look quite thin to them, even if you're technically still in the healthy range. Are you still trying to lose weight? Because I think 2.5 pound less and your in the unhealthy range for your height. It's so close that even if they are wrong, I could understand them being concerned.

    BTW, is your real name Anna? Just curious.

    ^^^this.

    I'd also add that there is a range to account for various body types...not so that you can pick and choose a number within that range. Is it possible that in fact, your weight is too low for your body type.

    The low end of BMI for me is about 140 Lbs...given my body type I would look skeletal at that weight.

    People misapply BMI all the time because they don't understand the range.
  • runner475
    runner475 Posts: 1,236 Member
    edited February 2015
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    suz155 wrote: »
    I personally believe if many of my friends and family tell me something appears to be wrong, I need to look at it. They love me and they will tell me the truth.
    +1
    Especially mom in particular.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    I would also add that my parents have never shown concern where concern wasn't warranted. I don't know that your mom telling you that you've gone too far is "criticism"...I think she's genuinely concerned. Perhaps you should pay heed.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited February 2015
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I would also add that my parents have never shown concern where concern wasn't warranted. I don't know that your mom telling you that you've gone too far is "criticism"...I think she's genuinely concerned. Perhaps you should pay heed.

    QFT

    I am 5ft5 and 131lbs... i would look ill at 118.
  • JustinAnimal
    JustinAnimal Posts: 1,335 Member
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    To quote this really random dude from yesterday: "They peanut butter and jealous."
  • vixtris
    vixtris Posts: 688 Member
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    You mother is probably looking out for you, health wise. You know how mothers are. But that doesnt mean you shouldnt listen to her. You can tell her that you are happy with your weight now, and you won't be losing any more (im guessing) it may make her feel a little better and back off. As for your friends, well theyre jealous lol. You can tell em to **** off, because I feel that would be appropriate for someone whos calling you a b****. Seriously, though, you may need to give them a serious and maybe slightly harsh talking to explaining you don't like the way they are treating you, and if they continue to do so, you can easily find new friends that will appreciate you for who you are and not what you look like.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    JustinAnimal wrote: »
    To quote this really random dude from yesterday: "They peanut butter and jealous."

    :laugh: but no.
  • xmarye
    xmarye Posts: 385 Member
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    I have a friend that lost a LOT of weight a few years back, and I didn't want to judge her about it. A while after I learned that she had developed an ED while losing the weight. What I mean to say is: you can't judge a book by it's cover. It doesn't matter the weight, all that matters is how healthy you are. Some people can be heavier and have an ED! People can think what they want, but all that matters is if you're healthy of not. And you seem to be! :)
  • jellybaby84
    jellybaby84 Posts: 583 Member
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    If your weight is healthy and you are healthy then you don't need to concern yourself with what anyone else thinks.
  • RollTideLisa
    RollTideLisa Posts: 41
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    My daughter used to be overweight in high school and she lost 30 lbs. She is 5'5" as well and now weighs about 118 also. I think both of you look amazing. People that are critical may sincerely think they are being kind and supportive, but they need to think of your best health interest and being overweight isn't that. Way to go on the weight loss!!
  • beanerschnitzel
    beanerschnitzel Posts: 75 Member
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    RollTideLisa wrote: »
    My daughter used to be overweight in high school and she lost 30 lbs. She is 5'5" as well and now weighs about 118 also. I think both of you look amazing. People that are critical may sincerely think they are being kind and supportive, but they need to think of your best health interest and being overweight isn't that. Way to go on the weight loss!!

    PREACH!!
  • michelle_816
    michelle_816 Posts: 621 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Did you lose the weight gradually over the course of a year, or did you lose the 25 lbs quite quickly? Sometimes, when the weight comes off too fast, it may appear that we are going about losing in an unhealthy fashion. If you weighed 143 lbs before, you shouldn't have needed to lose more than a lb a week as you were not overweight at 143 lbs and 5'5 either.

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