Strong women are intimidating

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24

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  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    Inkratlet wrote: »
    Apparently.

    Having just been told by my younger brother that basically I will die alone because being able to deadlift 100kg (220#) as a woman is not a good thing. It's intimidating and scary, so I'm told. Lots of good men will run away from me because I can lift. He's just completely ruined my happy PB mood :'(

    So, here I am, looking for proof that it is not true and that not every man on the planet wants a girl who is just about able to lift a teacup. Tell me not to listen to negativity because being able to deadlift 100kg is awesome and I am awesome.

    I've had more negativity from my family than from anyone else. It's demoralising in some ways, but the defiant spirit in me now wants to try for 105 next weekend and then wave it their faces. I am doing this for me, not to be attractive to the opposite sex. But it's always good to know that my strength choices won't ACTUALLY mean I will die alone...

    Here's the thing... this sort of behavior is a type of bullying. It's meant to scare you - "you'll die alone," "you'll be a cat lady," etc., and it's meant to keep you in your place, so to speak.

    The one thing to keep in mind when you hear those words is to CONSIDER THE SOURCE. Usually it's coming from someone who is feeling bad about themselves, and they're threatened by you because you're doing something worthwhile that they themselves either can't or won't achieve. So their only course of action is to try to make you feel bad about it by threatening you with social isolation.

    Don't listen to them. People who are secure with themselves don't need to threaten someone who is succeeding.



  • LuckyStar813
    LuckyStar813 Posts: 163 Member
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    Tell your brother it's no longer 1955.
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
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    So are smart women (so I've been told *insert eye-roll emoticon here*). I am strong AND smart, so I'm doubly terrifying ;) But for every person that has said such things to me (not many, maybe 5 in my whole life), there's 100's of others that think I rock confidence, wit, charm, and strength (mental, physical, and emotional).

    You are equally awesome, and I can "hear" it in your posts. It's sad that some around you don't feel the same, but brush it off. It's sounds like it's just *noise* and others projecting their own baggage (they probably are looking for you to carry it for them ;) ).

  • janineramirez111
    janineramirez111 Posts: 1 Member
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    My tiny daughter can deadlift 325lbs and men love her. So keep right on lifting. You'll have so many prospects that you'll have to fight them off the men with a stick!
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
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    I know plenty of men who think that a capable woman is the best thing in the world:
    Someone who is physically & mentally strong, able to support herself, run a household (including basic repairs), protect herself (which in my circle of friends usually means carrying a pistol), has a variety of interests, etc.
    In short, an interesting person who doesn't _need_ anyone else, who has chosen to spend her life with him because she likes him.
    .
    Iron_Feline wrote:
    FFS
    He is an idiot. Ignore him and don't bother talking to him in the future about your amazing lifting prowess.
    Also if men run away from you because you lift - they are NOT good men.
    Pickles wrote:
    Any man who is intimidated by or puts down your abilities in any area of life has self esteem issues of his own and would probably not be supportive of you anyways. You need a man to be your champion not your naysayer.
    These. Yes.
  • Inkratlet
    Inkratlet Posts: 613 Member
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    kiltigern wrote: »
    Your brother should not be your guide to who to date, and brothers are the ones who can mess with your head the easiest because they know exactly what to say to bother you.

    You are so right about this.


    Thanks for all the MFP love! Feeling better already

  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
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    What rubbish. Its great to have a passion and sooner or later you will find someone equally passionate about the things you love. If you love weight training you wouldnt want some guy who isnt attracted to that your bro is probably just jeolous that you're stronger than him!!!
  • flatlndr
    flatlndr Posts: 713 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    There's a lid for every pot. Some men will like ladies who lift, some who will not, some who won't care either way.

    @jemhh pretty much voiced my view. Some men will like strong women, whether that be physical strength and/or personal character strength, others will look for the dainty tea cup lifters (personally, I'd take strong over dainty any day of the week!). Be the person you want to be ... find the person who wants to be with the person you want to be. Don't change yourself to meet someone who is not your true match.

  • jasonrobertjones
    jasonrobertjones Posts: 2
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    My wife routinely deadlifts and squats more than men

    at an intimidating height of 4-foot-11

    Being intimidating is a great thing. It will keep away the people you're better off without.
  • PwrLftr82
    PwrLftr82 Posts: 945 Member
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    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    i'll admit that as a young man, i said something similar, that i didn't think women that lifted would be attractive because they'd get big bulky muscles. i was wrong. very very wrong.

    Damn straight you were wrong LOL
  • shabaity
    shabaity Posts: 791 Member
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    At a towering 5'1 I intimidated several of my male class mates when my squat and leg press amounts came out in high school. I'm doing it again when I started mma classes but meh. I do what I do for me it's never been for some guy. And kick your brother in the shins he deserves it for saying that to you.
  • helen8328
    helen8328 Posts: 36 Member
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    I think men who are intimidated by strong women are just insecure and would probably be a nightmare in a relationship anyway. I lift weights and I'm happily married with 3 kids as are most other female bodybuilders I know.

    Also I find it quite amusing when men get intimidated. There was a guy showing off on the squat rack I was waiting to use today, and when it was my turn I warmed up with his top weight of 60kg. He looked furious with me for showing him up in front of his friends it was hilarious haha
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Is it just me or is advice on how to attract a man from one's younger brother just CREEPY?
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    How are you going to carry a kid for nine months and push him out if you aren't strong? How are you going to carry a kid on your hip -- maybe two -- if you aren't strong?
    Sorry. Couldn't resist...
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    I don't think she asked for advice. I think he just hit her with it.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    tufel wrote: »
    How are you going to carry a kid for nine months and push him out if you aren't strong? How are you going to carry a kid on your hip -- maybe two -- if you aren't strong?
    Sorry. Couldn't resist...

    Did I miss something?
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
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    Please. Would you really want to be with a man who was afraid of you because you're strong? Problem solved.
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
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    by any chance does your brother have a small p#nizz?? You can't live for what people think about you...you need to do you, and be happy in your own skin. and CONGRATS on that PB!! I'm Jealous! I could NEVER lift that much!! Yes, you are beautiful and STRONG. Own it...brothers...blech...I have four of them... (j/k)
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    Good thing you don't plan on hooking up with your brother, since you're not HIS type. ;)

    Don't even worry about it. There are plenty of guys out there with all sorts of different tastes; you'll be just fine.

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