Date or Marry Outside Your Ethnicity

SojournerThirteen
SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
Just answer the question above... give details if you wish.

Yes... I am of Norman / French / German descent, and my wife is South Korean.
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Replies

  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Yep... sure did! <3
  • Morgaen73
    Morgaen73 Posts: 2,817 Member
    I didnt but I dont see a problem with it.
  • zaxx1953
    zaxx1953 Posts: 389 Member
    Dated latinas almost exclusively for about 6.5 yrs from 20-27.

    I am not a latino, so.....lol.

    Religiously, i'd like my children to follow my faith though.

    Keep in mind Irish people weren't considered the same race as Germans, Dutch and English people 130 yrs ago in the US.

    A lot of this stuff is utter BS.
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Love it brothers!
  • Papatoad194
    Papatoad194 Posts: 251 Member
    beautiful is as beautiful does... lets not be hasty:)
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    AMEN!
  • marcolbmp
    marcolbmp Posts: 92 Member
    setting the bait for all the bigots?
    I'm grabbing some popcorn...
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    marcolbmp wrote: »
    setting the bait for all the bigots?
    I'm grabbing some popcorn...

    LOLOL
  • marcolbmp
    marcolbmp Posts: 92 Member
    edited February 2015
    fwiw, I only have three rules for dating. 1. Be a woman, a real woman. 2. Don't be a b!tch. 3. Must like motorcycles.
    Ethnicity doesn't even come in to the equation, lol
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    "Date or Marry Outside Your Ethnicity?"

    I would do but my wife would kill me.
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,326 Member
    marcolbmp wrote: »
    fwiw, I only have three rules for dating. 1. Be a woman, a real woman. 2. Don't be a b!tch. 3. Must like motorcycles.
    Ethnicity doesn't even come in to the equation, lol

    I only have two... 1. Be a human over 18. 2. Be taller than me.
    That's... pretty much it. Obviously if my personality clashes with theirs, I'm not gonna want a second date.
  • candistyx
    candistyx Posts: 547 Member
    I don't judge anyone else for doing it, but I thought about the prospect of doing so and I realised that I don't think I could overcome the cultural differences. Subtlties of language, intonation, loads of stuff that seems easy to overcome when you're first "in love" can become massive barriers to communication. Combine that with inevitable (even if un-expressable) differences in values across cultures. I just feel the risk to the relationship would be too high.

    I think cross cultural partnerships are very difficult for people. My Russian teacher married a Welshman and she told me that at first she thought he would understand her culture because he was very interested in it - but eventually the differences in values and aspirations, as well as difficulties in communication, drove them apart and they got divorced.

    I am happy to be in a relationship where such difficulties are not present, and I am not sure I would be able to deal with such difficulties if they were.
  • ChicagOH
    ChicagOH Posts: 75 Member
    candistyx wrote: »
    I don't judge anyone else for doing it, but I thought about the prospect of doing so and I realised that I don't think I could overcome the cultural differences. Subtlties of language, intonation, loads of stuff that seems easy to overcome when you're first "in love" can become massive barriers to communication. Combine that with inevitable (even if un-expressable) differences in values across cultures. I just feel the risk to the relationship would be too high.

    I think cross cultural partnerships are very difficult for people. My Russian teacher married a Welshman and she told me that at first she thought he would understand her culture because he was very interested in it - but eventually the differences in values and aspirations, as well as difficulties in communication, drove them apart and they got divorced.

    I am happy to be in a relationship where such difficulties are not present, and I am not sure I would be able to deal with such difficulties if they were.

    Yes to this 100 times.
  • Benjinkan
    Benjinkan Posts: 1,107 Member
    Never even occurred to me to consider it as an issue - as most of the above had said, a person is a person irrelevant of race, creed or color.
  • IllBeBack1Day
    IllBeBack1Day Posts: 982 Member
    Don't think love cares about ethnicity unless you been heavily brain washed as a child
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,326 Member
    candistyx wrote: »
    I don't judge anyone else for doing it, but I thought about the prospect of doing so and I realised that I don't think I could overcome the cultural differences. Subtlties of language, intonation, loads of stuff that seems easy to overcome when you're first "in love" can become massive barriers to communication. Combine that with inevitable (even if un-expressable) differences in values across cultures. I just feel the risk to the relationship would be too high.

    I think cross cultural partnerships are very difficult for people. My Russian teacher married a Welshman and she told me that at first she thought he would understand her culture because he was very interested in it - but eventually the differences in values and aspirations, as well as difficulties in communication, drove them apart and they got divorced.

    I am happy to be in a relationship where such difficulties are not present, and I am not sure I would be able to deal with such difficulties if they were.

    Funny, because my cousin married a Polish man and there were no such difficulties. None. They're still happily married after 35 years (my cousins are much much older than me because my dad was 51 when I was born and they are children of his sister). I think that it really depends on the individual and there are many cross cultural relationships that don't have these difficulties. I've actually seen more mixed race/cultural relationships work than English-English relationships. Almost all my relatives who married fellow English people got divorced!
  • Morgaen73
    Morgaen73 Posts: 2,817 Member
    candistyx wrote: »
    I don't judge anyone else for doing it, but I thought about the prospect of doing so and I realised that I don't think I could overcome the cultural differences. Subtlties of language, intonation, loads of stuff that seems easy to overcome when you're first "in love" can become massive barriers to communication. Combine that with inevitable (even if un-expressable) differences in values across cultures. I just feel the risk to the relationship would be too high.

    I think cross cultural partnerships are very difficult for people. My Russian teacher married a Welshman and she told me that at first she thought he would understand her culture because he was very interested in it - but eventually the differences in values and aspirations, as well as difficulties in communication, drove them apart and they got divorced.

    I am happy to be in a relationship where such difficulties are not present, and I am not sure I would be able to deal with such difficulties if they were.

    Different cultures can be challenging yes. We have 11 official languages and many more cultures here but you work thorugh it.

    I've heard of people in the US (from the same background and culture) getting divorced because of something as stupid as politics.
  • Jolinia
    Jolinia Posts: 846 Member
    I usually do, merely because of appearance preference. But being an atheist feminist, I certainly wouldn't do well with someone who adheres to cultural norms involving religion and patriarchy. That also pretty much eliminates %90 of the males in state I live in, too. :(
    MarziPanda95 wrote: »
    marcolbmp wrote: »
    fwiw, I only have three rules for dating. 1. Be a woman, a real woman. 2. Don't be a b!tch. 3. Must like motorcycles.
    Ethnicity doesn't even come in to the equation, lol

    I only have two... 1. Be a human over 18. 2. Be taller than me.
    That's... pretty much it. Obviously if my personality clashes with theirs, I'm not gonna want a second date.

    This! Except I'm not sure I could date anyone under 30 and take myself seriously again.
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,326 Member
    edited February 2015
    Jolinia wrote: »
    I usually do, merely because of appearance preference. But being an atheist feminist, I certainly wouldn't do well with someone who adheres to cultural norms involving religion and patriarchy. That also pretty much eliminates %90 of the males in state I live in, too. :(
    MarziPanda95 wrote: »
    marcolbmp wrote: »
    fwiw, I only have three rules for dating. 1. Be a woman, a real woman. 2. Don't be a b!tch. 3. Must like motorcycles.
    Ethnicity doesn't even come in to the equation, lol

    I only have two... 1. Be a human over 18. 2. Be taller than me.
    That's... pretty much it. Obviously if my personality clashes with theirs, I'm not gonna want a second date.

    This! Except I'm not sure I could date anyone under 30 and take myself seriously again.

    Haha :wink: well it's fine for me since I'm only 19. And I agree on your other point, too. I'd probably decline someone who was a religious fundamentalist or sexist or homophobic.
  • marcolbmp
    marcolbmp Posts: 92 Member
    Morgaen73 wrote: »

    I've heard of people in the US (from the same background and culture) getting divorced because of something as stupid as politics.

    This is actually pretty valid. Ethnicity/Culture is one thing, politics can be tricky. Especially here in the US where people have become some passionate about their political beliefs. Unfortunately, most are so hell-bent on politics for the wrong reasons.
  • Seoul11
    Seoul11 Posts: 138 Member
    I think I actually tend to date more outside of my ethnicity than within it, but I don't have much of a preference. Lifestyle/upbringing/morals/etc. factor in more for me, and those things transcend ethnicity. Besides, different cultures can definitely make things interesting! I'm an American of various European decent and my boyfriend is a South Korean citizen. And I totally intend to marry that man.
  • Lindsay_the_great
    Lindsay_the_great Posts: 209 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    "Date or Marry Outside Your Ethnicity?"

    I would do but my wife would kill me.

    :smile:
  • LovingLifeInCalifornia
    LovingLifeInCalifornia Posts: 9,362 Member
    My mother in law is Japanese (born and raised in Japan) and married my father in law (born and raised in West Virginia) - a perfect example of completely different cultures and backgrounds. They were married for 40 years - until he passed away.

    While cultural differences may be a challenge, sometimes it's more about the personalities in the relationship and how they work through the differences. In most marriages, there is going to be a difference of opinion. I don't fully agree it's just about cultural differences.

    Of course I'm probably biased. I'm like 4th generation Asian American and pretty much have always dated outside my race - until my husband and he's only half Asian, so...there's my two cents.
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Yes!
  • WishesOnTheStar
    WishesOnTheStar Posts: 114 Member
    yes for sure, yellow fever crew
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
    I'm a mutt..
    My guy's German..

    Uhh, yeah.
  • Igotthatcake
    Igotthatcake Posts: 169 Member
    Yes absolutely yes.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    im usually attracted to other scandinavians/dutch or aboriginal people
  • sweetdixie92
    sweetdixie92 Posts: 655 Member
    I wouldn't be interested in many ethnicities simply because of preference. I'm attracted to Caucasion features. Now if I met a guy who looked like Will Smith...I'd marry him on the spot!
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    If I were not married, and did it already, I would not be opposed to doing it again.
This discussion has been closed.

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