A Question for the Guys Under Age 25

sbbhbm
sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
Okay gentlemen (and ladies, since we all know no one cares if we ask men or women a question specifically on here- everyone weighs in lol), I have a question for you: would you feel uncomfortable/uninterested in dating a woman my age?

I literally bumped into this guy a little over a year ago, and there was some definite sparks going on. But I was involved with someone so I just sort of backed away- didn't even introduce myself. Well since then, it's been constantly looking up or turning around and he's there. We seem to be in the same place constantly- and there's always that moment where we lock eyes and there's that fun bit of tension. Well after a year of it, we finally actually made introductions a few days ago. We definitely clicked. I am extremely attracted to him physically, and of course once I finally knew his name I checked him out on Facebook. We have a lot in common from what I could see. He's well spoken, intelligent, has a lot of the same interests as I do, etc. and then I noticed he is only 23. I'm 36. I thought he was around 32-33. We texted for a few minutes later that day, but the tone was a lot different than the conversation we'd had that afternoon in person- so I'm pretty sure he looked on FB too and saw how old I am. I'm not certain though, it's just pretty standard procedure now when you meet someone. I think there could be something worth exploring, but I don't know if a guy that young would be creeped out by the age difference. It actually only bothered me for a few minutes; age and maturity don't correlate with a lot of men I know.

I know not all men are the same, so it might not bother any of you but bother him, or bother some of you and not bother him... I'm just interested in thoughts on it. I get told I don't look my age, but it doesn't change the fact that I am my age.

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    or maybe ask HIM? that would save a loooooooooooooooad of time...
  • coretemp
    coretemp Posts: 1,796 Member
    when I was 18 I dated a woman 6 or 7 years older than me and at 25 dating a woman in her 30's wouldn't of bothered me a bit, lol
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    @TavistockToad‌- I tend to make a mess of things. I'm trying to stop always being an initiator in relationships and let the guy take the lead- I've been burned too many times because I turn into the one pursuing (which sucks...). I know I will see him this Thursday, I am just going to wait and see if he still seems interested or not. Plus if he hasn't discovered my age, I don't know if I want to point it out. Might make a difference if he knows me a bit first don't you think?
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    For the record, I don't actually base my life decisions on the opinions of strangers online... I'm just curious. I know older women with younger men seems quite trendy lately.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    @_Just_Ash_‌ I don't let the ones in cages talk. It's always "let me out" this, or "I'm calling the police" that.... Duct tape fixes it though.
  • Follow_me
    Follow_me Posts: 6,120 Member
    sbbhbm wrote: »
    @TavistockToad‌- I tend to make a mess of things. I'm trying to stop always being an initiator in relationships and let the guy take the lead- I've been burned too many times because I turn into the one pursuing (which sucks...). I know I will see him this Thursday, I am just going to wait and see if he still seems interested or not. Plus if he hasn't discovered my age, I don't know if I want to point it out. Might make a difference if he knows me a bit first don't you think?

    He may be a bit intimidated to take the lead knowing your age. You two should discuss this. Like Robbo said; you're beautiful. Go ahead and enjoy him. He's young and full of energy!

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    sbbhbm wrote: »
    @TavistockToad‌- I tend to make a mess of things. I'm trying to stop always being an initiator in relationships and let the guy take the lead- I've been burned too many times because I turn into the one pursuing (which sucks...). I know I will see him this Thursday, I am just going to wait and see if he still seems interested or not. Plus if he hasn't discovered my age, I don't know if I want to point it out. Might make a difference if he knows me a bit first don't you think?

    to be honest, i'm 32 and wouldnt touch a 23 year old with a barge pole!

    sounds like you're overthinking it a bit. if you're not going to be forthcoming with your age and ask him, then you'll just have to see how things go on thursday.
  • guitarrckr
    guitarrckr Posts: 1,717 Member
    ....I guess you could ask me 2 questions !!!
  • mikeshockley
    mikeshockley Posts: 684 Member
    I'm 49 now, but I was 23 for like a whole year. ; )

    If the maturity level is there for him, then I don't see the issue. I have a 26 year old son and I couldn't have imagined him dating someone your age when he was 23, but he was very immature, so it would have never worked out. I'm not saying that's a template for everyone, it just really depends on the individual.

    Good luck!!
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    sbbhbm wrote: »
    @TavistockToad‌- I tend to make a mess of things. I'm trying to stop always being an initiator in relationships and let the guy take the lead- I've been burned too many times because I turn into the one pursuing (which sucks...). I know I will see him this Thursday, I am just going to wait and see if he still seems interested or not. Plus if he hasn't discovered my age, I don't know if I want to point it out. Might make a difference if he knows me a bit first don't you think?

    to be honest, i'm 32 and wouldnt touch a 23 year old with a barge pole!

    sounds like you're overthinking it a bit. if you're not going to be forthcoming with your age and ask him, then you'll just have to see how things go on thursday.

    Overthinking is definitely a thing I'm trying to stop doing. Forthcoming probably is the best route... I've just never been good with men in general. It's mostly my nerves that are causing me hesitation.

    It doesn't help that I'm apparently working with a friend of his- who has now been looking at me funny all morning. So I'm guessing I was a topic of conversation. Might as well just get it all out of the way...
  • guitarrckr
    guitarrckr Posts: 1,717 Member
    I wish I was still in MI !!!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    sbbhbm wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    sbbhbm wrote: »
    @TavistockToad‌- I tend to make a mess of things. I'm trying to stop always being an initiator in relationships and let the guy take the lead- I've been burned too many times because I turn into the one pursuing (which sucks...). I know I will see him this Thursday, I am just going to wait and see if he still seems interested or not. Plus if he hasn't discovered my age, I don't know if I want to point it out. Might make a difference if he knows me a bit first don't you think?

    to be honest, i'm 32 and wouldnt touch a 23 year old with a barge pole!

    sounds like you're overthinking it a bit. if you're not going to be forthcoming with your age and ask him, then you'll just have to see how things go on thursday.

    Overthinking is definitely a thing I'm trying to stop doing. Forthcoming probably is the best route... I've just never been good with men in general. It's mostly my nerves that are causing me hesitation.

    It doesn't help that I'm apparently working with a friend of his- who has now been looking at me funny all morning. So I'm guessing I was a topic of conversation. Might as well just get it all out of the way...

    or your overthinking is making you think he's looking at you funny...

    if you work with his mate then i would imagine he knows how old you are? as long as you dont mind being a cougar, its no big deal! :wink:
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    When I was 23, I don't think I would have dated a 36 year old with any intentions of something long term. I would have probably done it for the hibbity-bibbity*... but that's it.



    *hibbity-bibbity - noun (hib-itty-bib-itty) - aka "intercourse" - physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    When I was 23, I don't think I would have dated a 36 year old with any intentions of something long term. I would have probably done it for the hibbity-bibbity*... but that's it.


    this.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    Seriously laughing hysterically at "hibbity-bibitty"...

    I've thought about that. I don't think that's his m.o., or at least not his initial intention- I don't think he realized how old I am. Maybe I'm just flattering myself though lol. But I only ever get involved with younger men... Just never been that much younger. Guess I'll bite the bullet and just ask. I've got nothing to lose- just a little wound to the ego.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    When I was 23, I don't think I would have dated a 36 year old with any intentions of something long term. I would have probably done it for the hibbity-bibbity*... but that's it.

    to be honest if i can pull a 23 year old when i am 36 i will be WELL pleased with myself!!! and i wouldnt want them for polite conversation anyway! :laugh:
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    When I was 23, I don't think I would have dated a 36 year old with any intentions of something long term. I would have probably done it for the hibbity-bibbity*... but that's it.



    *hibbity-bibbity - noun (hib-itty-bib-itty) - aka "intercourse" - physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia

    This would be the only reason I'd "date" a 23 year old and have "dated" a 26 year old in my early to mid thirties. I wasn't that impressed, honestly.
  • Athos282
    Athos282 Posts: 405 Member
    edited February 2015
    A few years ago, I really clicked with someone who was 10 years older than me. The woman was a fireball; but things just didn't work out. If he passes you up just because you're a little older, most likely he's the one that'll be missing out.
  • sweetdixie92
    sweetdixie92 Posts: 655 Member
    sbbhbm wrote: »
    It actually only bothered me for a few minutes; age and maturity don't correlate with a lot of men I know.

    Personally...I think the maturity level would be far too different.

    I'm 22, and barely consider guys under 25/26. There might be a few exceptions.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    When I was 23, I don't think I would have dated a 36 year old with any intentions of something long term. I would have probably done it for the hibbity-bibbity*... but that's it.



    *hibbity-bibbity - noun (hib-itty-bib-itty) - aka "intercourse" - physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia

    Yeah, this is pretty much what I was going to say. Glad one of the guys said it.

    He may be interested, but it's probably only for the one thing, nothing serious.

  • cortezpj
    cortezpj Posts: 129 Member
    Yep, I agree with the hibbity-bibbity (my new favorite word).

    Ok, meaning NO disrespect -- you don't look 23 from your pictures. And there's nothing wrong with that. You're attractive and obviously able to express yourself based on the way you write. But on some level, he had to know you were older than him and that intrigued him. Yeah, I know the whole "checking Facebook" is the new norm, but you're over-thinking that one, in my opinion.

    Also, you mentioned you apparently work with a friend of his. You've officially pooped in your own backyard, something we should all avoid.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    cortezpj wrote: »
    Yep, I agree with the hibbity-bibbity (my new favorite word).

    Ok, meaning NO disrespect -- you don't look 23 from your pictures. And there's nothing wrong with that. You're attractive and obviously able to express yourself based on the way you write. But on some level, he had to know you were older than him and that intrigued him. Yeah, I know the whole "checking Facebook" is the new norm, but you're over-thinking that one, in my opinion.

    Also, you mentioned you apparently work with a friend of his. You've officially pooped in your own backyard, something we should all avoid.

    I just asked his friend how old he thinks I am- he thought I was 26 or 27.
  • JeaninePaige
    JeaninePaige Posts: 464 Member
    If you both are on the same page mentally, then the age difference shouldn't matter IMO. I was never a believer in a number defining someone's maturity. Sure, you'll come across people who may share different opinions but in the end, it's your life and you have to do what makes you happy! Go for it.
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