Is anyone scared to lose weight?

I think it's a very important question, and one I Identify strongly with. The majority of people don't put on large amounts of weight for no reason. Sometimes it's medical, sometimes (I'd guess very frequently)it's emotional. For me, fear of success and the self-doubt that goes along with that has two facets - one personal, one professional. As a lifelong singleton, if I can blame that status on my weight, then I don't have to accept that the problem is my personality and who I am rather than my visual appearance. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, and mostly kept it off until I met a guy I really, REALLY liked, at which point I started eating everything in sight and eventually ballooned to my highest-ever adult weight... It's as if by staying fat, or at least bigger-than-average, I can ensure (in my own mind) that no-one will want me, so there's no fear of rejection of me, rather than of my body.

I don't know what the solution is, but I am trying really hard to stay on track this time. It's weird though to know that you realy want to meet a potential SO, and yet his appearance is likely to pose a risk to continued health!

Oh wow, this sounds familiar! I think I've always used my weight as a shield for my emotions. I've always had a hard time dealing with guys and flirting and teasing. I never knew how to take it. Always wondered if they were being flirty or malicious. That fear of rejection has kept me from doing so much. Problem is, the regret of not doing it hurts so much more!

Now that I've re-met this guy from high school, I'm learning how to handle the flirting. He's getting me out of my comfort zone in a way that is comfortable to me, He's part of the reason I joined this site. I've finally gotten my head on straight with wanting to lose weight and I can pinpoint the day that happened as the day he asked me out.

Now I can see that my weight was only a shield to me. It didn't hinder anyone else from enjoying my company or wanting to enjoy my company. It only held me back from enjoying other people and I'm not letting it do that any longer. This is my life and I have to live it for me. And the best way for me to live it to the fullest is to lose the weight and get healthy so I'll be around to enjoy it for a long time.

I was afraid at first about what I'd look like or what not, but now I'm happy because my health is better.

YES!! my entire life I have been big! My entire sense of self revolves around being big so I am kinda scared that I won't know who I am without the weight. I also feel my weight keeps me invisible which keeps people from becoming close to me and getting hurt

WOW You sound just like me!!! I actually posted about this the other day in a group I am in......I am truely terrified of losing this weight because I do not want to lose my identity. I have always been the "big girl" with a huge personality!!! So glad I am not the only one!!

bump...I'll come back to this later.

I know i was scared at first because i knew after i lost the weight i wouldnt have anything to hide behind anymore.
I've been shy all my life and i know a big portion of that was because i was a "chubby" girl growing up.

I self sabotage on most things in my life, simply by giving up as soon as there's a micro-improvement and saying that's enough. I think with diet and healthy lifestyle choices, I am afraid, not really of losing the weight, but....what if I actually DO try and it's not enough? What if I give it all I have for as long as I can and I don't lose any more than if I barely tried? What if I'm destined to have extra CRAP hanging off my tummy? I'm not afraid of success, but I'm afraid of shooting for success and realizing I honestly don't have it in me. At least this way, I can say "oh, that's because I have a motivation issue - believe me, if I put my mind to it I could look AMAZING." I'm a 90's baby, even in our elementary school choirs we sang about being able to be anything we wanted. What if it's not true? What if I'm not actually strong enough to lose weight, or smart enough to pass my classes if I try? It's so much easier not to try, and I have to dig myself out of that cycling tornado of self-doubt. It's hard.

I am scared to lose the weight. I've stalled out at around 22ish pounds for the last 6 months or so. I'm just under 200 pounds. I want to lose weight in theory. I want to be healthier. I want to look nice in clothes. But there are deep emotional issues that come with being smaller... I lived in an abusive environment when I was a kid and there is some comfort in being bigger, even as big as alot of men. In addition to food being a source of comfort, a compulsion at times. I'm dealing with those issues through therapy and a 12 step recovery group.
Thanks for bringing this up. It is something that has been an issue. I keep stalling on my weight loss. Ironically, I have consistently exercised for quite a while. I feel stronger. Maybe that's something I can hold on to. The gains in strength balancing out the emotional ramifications of being smaller.

I haven't thought it about it a lot. But I kind of wonder if it will change how people perceive me. I wouldn't say that my size is a part of my identity, I think I have always had so many other "quirky" traits, that that is probably way down on the list of things that shaped my identity.

I have always been bigger since childhood. Of course I spent a long time getting comments like "you carry it well, you'll never be small...."

One day my aunt was looking at my wrists and was absolutely SHOCKED she said, you have such tiny wrists I am surprised you are bigger! So I don't know if I believe I actually have a large frame. I do think I have a bit more muscle than average, as my arms and legs are bigger, but also fairly "solid."

My reputation is usually the smiley, bubbly, cute girl. So what happens if I am not longer chubby? Do people remove the "cute descriptor, which is sometimes a code word for -- you are OK but not really my type? What happens then?

I have always been a little uncomfortable displaying my body: too many unwanted comments, sketchy behavior (and one reason clubs are so hit or miss for me. I love dancing. Don't like the unknown guys that feel like dancing is their invitation to put their hands all over you.)
So I understand the idea of using weight as a way to "hide." I don't like to show much cleavage or wear things that are too short, but I know being smaller will mean more people will notice "me," my physical attributes .....and I am not sure how I feel about this yet.

But the benefits are of course, there will be new opportunities, and more dating opportunities if I am smaller. I will be fitter, it will be easier to find clothing. So I'll just have to take the good with the bad and deal with it as it comes. I've always been one to adapt to new things quickly.

I am scared. What if the weight comes off finally after the last 13 years of being overweight? What does that mean I was doing wrong for 13 years?! I am the loud awkward big girl, and if I'm not big, am I just obnoxious? Also I feel like the people around you want to pigeon hole you as the big, loud, funny one. When you change that I think people around you are threatened. Probably not conciously, but I think that's where sabotage comes from. Like the classic "if you're dieting, should you be eating that?!" Oh cause it's your business for sure. It's super duper scary for sure. It's just your appearance, but your appearance is what you put out in the world.

Where did my reply go?

I've often put my weight out there as the reason I haven't done something or something that's held me back. In that regard, I'm afraid. I hope that throughout this journey, I can finally get it through my head that my weight has never defined me as a person and the only thing that kept me from doing certain things was me.

A friend of mine who has lost a lot of weight posted on her blog the other day that the fat "protected" her emotionally, and that walking around without it now feels like walking around naked. I know others who have been sexually abused who got fat as a defence; if they weren't attractive, they wouldn't be attacked. It makes me sad.

Yep, this is it for me. ^^^^

It happened between ages 12 and 16, so prime "puberty years." Really messed me up. Any type of attention my physical form makes me ultra uncomfortable. So I'm not sure how I will feel once I've lost the weight.

I'm scared of being visible. I've been obese and I've been a healthy weight, and people notice me a lot more when I'm at a healthy weight. I'm not sure I'm up to the attention. I know it will be a big change for me, but I need to do it anyway.

purplep41n wrote: »

I don't think this is a silly a question because I honestly think that I subconsciously fear being thinner.

There a few z-list celebrities who are constantly in the news for gaining and losing weight. One of them has a programme about it, Claire from Steps and she was posed any interesting question/thought by someone she brought in to kick her into shape - I think he was essentially asking her that if she wasn't in the papers all the time for being a yoyo dieter - what else would she have? Was she addicted to the press it provided. Did it suit her currently to be a celebrity for these reasons.

When I was younger and single I always got a lot of attention from men when I lost weight, I never got slimmer than a size 16 and I am a gothy geek but obviously the carefree attitude that blossomed from being slimmer made me more attractive and it was always a problem with at least one female friend at each time I have gone through these episodes. I am now getting married so this is not a potential issue anymore if I lose weight and I just don't surround myself with those kind of people anymore.

So what am I scared of now? I must be scared to be slimmer otherwise I wouldn't go out of my way to keep ruining an successful effort I make to lose weight.

Do any of you believe that this may a question you may need to ask yourselves?

I'm scared my husband will stop leaving me alone. I don't like to be touched all that much; I really don't. I'm also afraid of saggy skin.