We broke up because...
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His bread was the longest object he owned0
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He thought my beard was made of bread.0
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He wanted to eat it out of her hair0
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He Wouldn't let me braid his beard0
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I don't have a beard to braid0
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He wouldn't let me braid his other body hair
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It tickled0
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He couldn't stop laughing when I touched him0
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He was too serious, asked me to stop laughing all the time..0
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She laughed manically!0
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Always insulted me over my laugh
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Laughed like an asthmatic donkey!0
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She was a sensitive Sally and I was a rude Randall0
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It got physical. Rude!0
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He didn't like how the cute librarian laughed0
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He mean mugged my parents.0
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He stared too much0
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He used his sense of smell a little too much in bed0
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He was intimidated by my adventurousness in the bedroom0
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I never told her how much enjoyed the adventures0
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He wouldn't let me stick my "key" in his "ignition".0
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Because I couldn't stand dating myself0
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Because he didn't love himself! How could he love me!0
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She wasnt as holy as she said she is lol0
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Because he broke up with my ex0
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Expected me to live up to expectations of "holiness"
Edit: you are scary fast at responding to these things.0 -
She kicked my butt in a wrestling match0
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Lost to me in a wrestling match so she was a sorry loser and dumped me0
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