Weight loss and marriage/relationship

My husband likes the results, but doesn't like the impact that my efforts have on him. It takes me time to work out, meal prep, and plan, and I think he'd rather I spend less time/energy on those things. He doesn't come right out and say it, and when I've brought it up he denies it (he may not even realize it himself), but he definitely comes across that way to me. I just make a point to still spend lots of time with the family and take care of my home/work responsibilities.

I wouldn't say that he is super supportive, but he isn't terribly unsupportive, either. There isn't much net impact on our relationship, but when I eat right and get in a good workout I'm a generally more pleasant person to be around, so that has to help some!

hollydubs85 wrote: »

When we first met, I was the fat one, and my husband had a beautiful muscular body. He was fit. Now I'm the fit one, and even though he isn't fat, he isn't as fit as he used to be. He was and always has been my biggest fan, even after 7 years.

My situation is similar. I wouldn't call my hubby my biggest fan, but he doesn't get in my way, either. He also loves the healthy cooking which he is totally in for.

With significant weight loss comes a new mindset. My support team warned me that such a change can impact those relationships closest to us. I think we'll be fine. But I am a different person and he has to come along for the ride, for whatever that ends up to be.

Oh, P.S. - we watched "Unbroken" together and during the flashback running scene, hubby asked if he might be riding his bike along with me? I said, "Sure, by this summer I'll be ready."

My husband is an athlete and has been his entire life - college football player, national champion in javelin, etc. He has his "workout" he's always done and has the body to prove it works for him.

But - he eats like CRAP! He's lucky - he's 36 and it hasn't caught up with him... yet. He's always talking about how badly he eats, but won't listen to me about changing his habits. Sadly, this means we have a LOT of temptation in our house.

When I first started this journey he had the gall to ask if I was "doing it for him..." No sorry dear, I'm doing it for ME. Needless to say he loves the new body.

My ex loved me thin, fat, fit, whatever. We had other issues, but losing weight and getting fit gave me the confidence to face those issues and do something about them.

Mine is supportive to a point. It has brought out his insecurities. He makes the odd comment about my meal prep, weighing all my food, the time I am spend at the gym and not drinking alcohol (it has been a freezing cold winter and the last thing I want to do is crack open an ice cold beer.) He knows I have made a lifestyle change and he is slowly learning how to deal with it. I have compromised on my gym days for him non gym days I am working out at home. He isn't too keen on the attention I am starting to get but after being chubby for so many years I have to say I am enjoying it

Mine was supportive, but lately gives me a hard time saying he thinks I've lost too much weight. I haven't, I'm just skinnier than I've ever been before and I think it makes him uncomfortable or something. He hasn't changed his eating habits, and he probably should as his belly is getting bigger. So I get frustrated with him for giving me a hard time when he could stand to loose some. I hope we can come to terms with each others diets, and quit bickering about it.

Well, both my husband and I started out thin together twenty four years ago. Then we slowly got fat together lol. Luckily we then both decided to lose weight at the same time. I think it would have been hard on the relationship if only one of us lost weight.

I'm going to cop out and say my weight gain is from baby bearing, baby feeding, baby rearing. Since he's the reason for the babies, he'd never said anything about the weight gain, and I know it didn't make me less attractive to him.

When last baby turned 2 1/2, I was ready. I joined a gym, temporarily, on a groupon offer. He said, "you know, most people who join in January don't even make it to March." But we've been married long enough that I know when to ignore him. I distinctly remember one evening coming home from the gym and he had a batch of cookies made, and told me that I deserved one since I worked so hard at the gym.

Then I had a fitness test done. 45% body fat.

That hit him hard. He realized in that moment that my old age would not be fun if I didn't turn Queen Mary around.

Now he's completely on board. He told me this month how nice it is that I have my legs back. He was really happy for me when I bought my first size 16 jeans in 12 years.

And, umm. He's noticed a significant strength improvement in my abs, which pleases him immensely.

Losing weight certainly makes the physical side more appealing. Plus better health.

I have been overweight the entire time I have known my husband, he is my second so it's only been about 8 years. When I was diagnosed with diabetes and started on insulin I made the decision to lose weight to be more healthy, I want to have a long life with him, my children, and now my grandchildren. I told him my doctor agreed with my that I should lose 75 pounds. His response was "You'll look like a stick!" I have stuck to it, with one big setback but I'm back on track again. I must say he's not very supportive at all! He has taken over the cooking in the evenings during the week and seems to only know how to fry things or make tons of pasta. If we go out he will make the comment "Is that all your are eating?", "Are you eating enough?" and the like. I try to compensate by cooking on the weekends and really watching what I eat during the day at work but it is a constant struggle.

My spouse has always been very supportive in general. He's always been a good example with healthy eating and being active. Many of our dates have been hiking. We've gone through both uber healthy, active phases and lazy, 'fluffy' phases in our relationship. But ever since I started taking this seriously, he's been 100% on board. In the beginning, he went on walks with me in the evenings. We started eating out less, and he ate all of my healthy dinner attempts without complaint. Not long after I starting running, he joined me. He's more into lifting, but we're both training for a half. I've leaned out, and he's bulked up. I think this may have improved our relationship, doing it together. We're each other's cheerleader, that's for sure.

Yeah im the only one worried about being healthy in the family. Its not that hes not supportive its just that i dont get any positive reinforcement for any of my efforts. But i know if i didnt worry about how i looked or watched what i ate my bf would not be down..

We've been married for 15 years and I've been try to lose weight for about that long. He says he is happy if I am happy. He is supportive. He has told me I seem more confident and in the mood more often so he is all for that. I think we are pretty secure with each other.
Dh lost some weight since starting a medication last year and really doesn't need to lose any more.

theadamswolfpack wrote: »

When I met my husband 8 yrs ago I was 5'11 135 lbs and wore a size 8. After high school I went away for college so we were long distance for 4 years and I gained a lot of weight. I'm currently still 5'11 but I weight 227 and I'm a size 16. We just got married last month and I've been wanting to hit the gym because we're having a beach wedding in Aug. However, he DOES NOT want me to get skinny again because he's afraid I will leave him. So he always encourages bad eating habits and whenever I want to go to the gym he says "babe, let's watch a movie" things like that. It's getting really frustrating.

And this does not worry you?

I haven't read through all of the answers to see if someone else has had this same issue. But I'm getting married in August. My whole life I've been overweight, but when I met my fiancé, I was only about 20lbs overweight (as I am again, currently) but at that point I was in denial so I was "happy" and had accepted that j was overweight and I wasn't self concious about it. In that first year, I dropped 20-25 lbs, I was at a healthy weight, I was happy, I truly loved myself. Then I got an office job, I didn't exercise and we moved in together and I took on his eating habits. I put on the 20lbs again. And now, I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don't like what I see. I don't like how I feel. And that has taken a major hit on my self esteem. So now that I'm trying to lose those 20lbs again, I'm very critical of my body and my appearance, and it makes it difficult to accept compliments from my fiancé. He tries to reassure me that he loves me the way I am, that I'm beautiful etc. but I always tell myself he is just saying that to make me feel better. He knows it, I know it. And it makes him feel like crap knowing I don't believe a single compliment that comes out of his mouth. So that has taken a toll on our relationship a bit. And I often ask for his support but he won't give me that support until he knows that I can accept myself again.

Wow. That was a novel. Sorry.