Define "cheating"

this post has moved here....
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10102986/define-cheating#latest

randomtai wrote: »

not_satisfied wrote: »

I think when you do something that you would not want your partner to do with someone else. That's a betrayal of some kind. This could be anything from flirting to physical cheating to confiding with someone else things that you don't even confide with your partner. I'm also very curious to see where this goes.

This for me... Anything that you have to hide and lie to your partner about involving another person.

yup. If you can't tell your partner...don't do it. That goes for everything from buying things, going places, actual physically/emotionally cheating, etc.... hiding things from your partner can only lead to issues.

over eating

not_satisfied wrote: »

I think when you do something that you would not want your partner to do with someone else.

Perfectly worded.

I was going to say something along the lines of anything you wouldn't want your partner to see you doing but figured some smart aleck would say something about using the bathroom

Mafuezee wrote: »

over eating

How you doin?

afacetocallhome wrote: »

not_satisfied wrote: »

I think when you do something that you would not want your partner to do with someone else. That's a betrayal of some kind. This could be anything from flirting to physical cheating to confiding with someone else things that you don't even confide with your partner. I'm also very curious to see where this goes.

I completely agree with this.

Cheating is breach of trust, in agreed rules that define an activity or relationship.

If you don't know what those rules are, maybe spend a bit of time defining what are those for your relationship! Everyone's different. Some people I dated commented on how pretty other women are, some were livid you would even look at someone else. And some couples I know are polygamists and happily so for a long time. That would definitely wouldn't work for me (or my wife).

This is a list of things I've been told are cheating on your partner:

a) sleeping with someone else
b) flirting with someone else
b*) being kind, attentive or supportive to someone else
c) spending time with someone else (even for business)
d) spending significant money on someone else
e) buying someone a drink or a meal
f) buying someone a book
g) taking someone to a show or museum
h) opening a personal email account
i) opening an account on a dating website (allegedly for the personality assessment, true or not, no idea)
j) not letting someone have your pin or password
k) not keeping facebook open
l) not letting your mail be opened by someone else

Etc. Your mileage may vary . And relationships are hardly ever symmetrical. Easy, stupid example: I wouldn't mind if my wife left the toilet seat up. And she doesn't care if leave dirty dishes in the sink but it drives me bonkers when she does (we have a dishwasher). In some aspects relationships are "quid pro quo" but in others the transactions are more complicated - you make dinner, I clean up. I make breakfast, you get the kids ready, you work, I stay home, etc. More relevant - I have no ex'es as friends, but some of her best friends are her ex'es. Imagine if my "rule" was "you can't spend time with people that you used to sleep with".


So, needless to say, I don't think that if "you need to ask you're already wrong". Establish your relationship rules clearly. I am certain that mostly everyone could benefit from having a clear set of rules to govern all of their relationships (not just romantic).

Rod

jazzine1 wrote: »

xmarye wrote: »

If my husband were not to let women that hit on him know that he is taken, I would take it really seriously. If he were to develop an interest in another woman, I would not stand for it. If he stayed because he felt ''he had to'' I would never settle for this. We love and respect each other. The day that isn't the case anymore it will have to change, or we will have to go each our own way.

We are actually looking into involving other people into our sex life (husband used to swing before he met me) but this is something we have been talking about for a LONG time, that we aren't rushing into. We don't stress over it, nor does he pressure me at all. So technically speaking, we would only do things together. And it involves A LOT of respect during so that there isn't problems after. All in all, we trust each other more then anything and I know that we have a connection that no one could come in between.

Apart from these experiences, that are far from common, I totally agree with you about cheating physically AND mentally. I do count both as cheating.

When my husband is attracted to another woman, he tells me. Nothing to degrade me, it's not like it takes anything from me. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. But I know he choses me, he loves me, he comes home to me every night, and we have a beautiful daughter together. Our family is the most important thing to us!

I would rather my husband be honest with me then to hide things from me. I would also rather we live exciting things together, then have us fantasize about other people. But that's just me.

I know of couples who have done this and it hasnt affected the relationship but I also know others that the aftermath of allowing someone else in their bedroom has ended their relationship. I personally couldnt stand to see the person I love doing something so intimate with someone else, even if I get to participate.

Ya, that was kind of my thought when reading that post, lol. To each their own. My problem with it is not really a trust issue, but I just wouldn't want to see my man being intimate with another woman. Big turnoff IMO.

Food and exercise are not the only variables that affect your path to a healthy physique. This is much related