'That person' in the Gym
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Lois_1989
Posts: 6,409 Member
Hello everyone,
So, I've just got back from the gym, and I've just realised I am now 'that person'. The one people avoid eye contact with. Funnily enough not really with other gym go-ers but the gym staff. I walk in, smile at the person on the desk, get no response, do my work out the whole time noticing that if I make eye contact (not even intentional just look up and happen to make eye contact) with a staff member they look away really quickly. Its unnerving and making me quite self-conscious. To the point where I'm wondering if I am doing something wrong, a technique or misuse of the equipment. This isn't a one off either it has been happening all week. At first I though maybe I ripped my trousers or something embarrassing like that, but nothing that I can see. As a 200lb+ girl the gym isn't exactly the most comfortable place in the world to be to start with, this on top makes it worse.
I'm not really sure how to deal with this. I don't want to stop going or change gyms because they are the only one near by with a squat rack. I didn't know if anyone had suggestions on what it could be or how to deal with it?
Thank you
So, I've just got back from the gym, and I've just realised I am now 'that person'. The one people avoid eye contact with. Funnily enough not really with other gym go-ers but the gym staff. I walk in, smile at the person on the desk, get no response, do my work out the whole time noticing that if I make eye contact (not even intentional just look up and happen to make eye contact) with a staff member they look away really quickly. Its unnerving and making me quite self-conscious. To the point where I'm wondering if I am doing something wrong, a technique or misuse of the equipment. This isn't a one off either it has been happening all week. At first I though maybe I ripped my trousers or something embarrassing like that, but nothing that I can see. As a 200lb+ girl the gym isn't exactly the most comfortable place in the world to be to start with, this on top makes it worse.
I'm not really sure how to deal with this. I don't want to stop going or change gyms because they are the only one near by with a squat rack. I didn't know if anyone had suggestions on what it could be or how to deal with it?
Thank you
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Replies
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My biggest advice is to treat the gym like it's for what it is: working out. Ignore whatever social cues they're giving you. In my experience, if you're doing something wrong in the gym, especially a form issue that's going to get you hurt, someone will actually mention it to you.
Maybe the front desk was just a sour puss this week? Maybe the staff member you saw upstairs is a little socially awkward, etc.
Do you, they don't matter. Go crush that workout!0 -
Don't worry about it.
Put a hat on it if you want- do the "gym" nod. and go to your workout.
I don't honestly know what you mean by "that person" because there are a lot of "that person's" at the gym. Ultimately it doesn't matter what anyone thinks- just get your butt in there and get your work out in. Nothing else matters.0 -
Can you find one of the more "approachable" staff members and ask for their feedback? I prefer to be up front and just ask if there are issues/concerns. If you don't want to do that, or they don't mention anything specific, then just ignore them. Seriously, you are there to work out. If you are doing something wrong, or breaking gym etiquette somehow, it's their job to let you know. If they don't, then just do what you gotta do to be healthy.0
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Ignore it. Don't let social anxiety derail your progress.
Eta: maybe have a word with one of the approachable staff. Part of the great thing about my gym is the friendly staff. They even say hi in the street if we see each other around town! You shouldn't let them put you off but neither should they be rude.0 -
mumblemagic wrote: »Eta: maybe have a word with one of the approachable staff. Part of the great thing about my gym is the friendly staff. They even say hi in the street if we see each other around town! You shouldn't let them put you off but neither should they be rude.Can you find one of the more "approachable" staff members and ask for their feedback? I prefer to be up front and just ask if there are issues/concerns. If you don't want to do that, or they don't mention anything specific, then just ignore them.
Well they all were friendly up until this week lol. Its almost like a bad rumor has gone around or something, its weird. I guess I'll just plug myself in to my ipod and maybe it (what ever it is) will blow over soon.
Thank you for your responses so far.
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I always make eye contact with EVERYONE at the gym! I love making friends and encouraging.0
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You're overthinking this. From my perspective, the societal rules of the gym are to interact only when negotiating equipment use.0
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motherwesser wrote: »I always make eye contact with EVERYONE at the gym! I love making friends and encouraging.
I think I do. At the beginning just to have a look around, see who is there, give an encouraging smile. Maybe I'm OVER friendly?
Makes me look weird... 0 -
mumblemagic wrote: »Eta: maybe have a word with one of the approachable staff. Part of the great thing about my gym is the friendly staff. They even say hi in the street if we see each other around town! You shouldn't let them put you off but neither should they be rude.Can you find one of the more "approachable" staff members and ask for their feedback? I prefer to be up front and just ask if there are issues/concerns. If you don't want to do that, or they don't mention anything specific, then just ignore them.
Well they all were friendly up until this week lol. Its almost like a bad rumor has gone around or something, its weird. I guess I'll just plug myself in to my ipod and maybe it (what ever it is) will blow over soon.
Thank you for your responses so far.
maybe they are getting fired?
maybe new manager?
maybe they got scolded for interactions with people at the gym (doubtful- but I mean- just throwing out ideas)
you don't know- maybe a death in the community?
You have no idea if anything is going on for them on their side of the fence- just keep doing what you're doing.0 -
ISYMFS_GYM_KING wrote: »don't worry about it, I speak to a few trainers in the changing rooms/lobby area, but as soon as I step foot in the gym its all business, I don't care if I seem arrogant or rude, I want the best for me, even my best friend of 13 years avoids me, sounds like you go to a good gym, if they have time for constant eye contact they aren't using their gym time to the max.
block your surroundings and enjoy evolving your physique I understand as a person who suffered severe social anxiety once upon a time ago.
Gotta grow thick skin to go with the muscles!
Glad to hear you over came your anxiety Thank you for your help 0 -
mumblemagic wrote: »Eta: maybe have a word with one of the approachable staff. Part of the great thing about my gym is the friendly staff. They even say hi in the street if we see each other around town! You shouldn't let them put you off but neither should they be rude.Can you find one of the more "approachable" staff members and ask for their feedback? I prefer to be up front and just ask if there are issues/concerns. If you don't want to do that, or they don't mention anything specific, then just ignore them.
Well they all were friendly up until this week lol. Its almost like a bad rumor has gone around or something, its weird. I guess I'll just plug myself in to my ipod and maybe it (what ever it is) will blow over soon.
Thank you for your responses so far.
maybe they are getting fired?
maybe new manager?
maybe they got scolded for interactions with people at the gym (doubtful- but I mean- just throwing out ideas)
you don't know- maybe a death in the community?
You have no idea if anything is going on for them on their side of the fence- just keep doing what you're doing.
This is true... I hadn't thought of those things. Thanks0 -
Don't take it personally. They may have had a staff meeting and perhaps everyone is in a bad mood. Maybe somebody quit that everyone liked. The possibilities are endless. If you don't know why they are in a mood then it probably has nothing to do with you. (which is of course a good thing) Don't let anything interfere with a positive experience.0
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Could be they are wanting to approach you with a program to suggest but because of whatever reason, business etiquette 'rules', fear of coming off too pushy, or don't want you to take offense...just a thought0
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You know what I do? I make an evil game out of it. If someone avoids eye contact with me, or is a sourpuss, then the next time I see them I give them a big smile, serious eye contact, and a loud happy HI THERE. You will get a good laugh out of it, and the ones who are avoiding you will squirm, and the ones with social anxiety will eventually become your friends. It's win, win, win. 0
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Maybe you need to find a different gym. I am 229 lbs...and am always spoken to by the person at the desk when I come and go - even if the person is not standing by the desk at the time - if he sees me leaving he yells out "Bye!" He's not a friend, I don't know him apart from the gym...we never say more than "Hi, how are ya, weather, yada yada, can I buy some water cause I left mine home again, that's okay, thanks..." Then "Bye...have a good day/night/weekend."
It doesn't matter who is sitting there there are about 4 different people at any given time and they are always polite and friendly.- the gym owner is very adamant that everyone feel welcome in her gym. Maybe the owner / manager has no idea what jerks they have roaming around...or maybe you just need a more friendlier gym.
I didn't join the Curves near me because of the rude/ unfriendly way I was treated by the desk person the day I walked in for information....0 -
emily_stew wrote: »Meanwhile, in other threads...people are complaining that everyone is staring at them.
I guess you can't win. It's a problem if people pay attention to you but it's a problem if people ignore you.0 -
When you make eye contact lick your lips. It'll be funny.0
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