Do you really think one can be happy FAT?

2

Replies

  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    sjadev1108 wrote: »
    I don't mean to equate skinny with happy, or to say that thin people never have bad days. I do, however, think that being obese, you have put more obstacles in your own way.

    What obstacles? Genuinely curious.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    Josalinn wrote: »
    monicalferrier wrote: »
    I think happiness comes from self-confidence. If you love you, how you look doesn't matter.
    sorry couldn't resist
    tumblr_mhtj13BTmr1rs2qgko1_500.png
    HA love this movie!
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    tekkiechikk wrote: »
    Define "fat"? There's being overweight by 10 pounds fat and being overweight by 100 pounds fat.

    Like everyone else I can say I've been really happy for most of my life... however I would never, ever choose to be fat , never. Anyone who claims to be perfectly fine being fat (like on the reality TV shows) would definitely much rather be thin. If they say otherwise I'd question their sincerity. Or else they have just given up or don't want to put in the work to lose the weight or else have an eating disorder that requires much more than willpower to correct. Or, in the case of TV, remain overweight because why else would we watch?? A plus size model of course would say she is happy at her weight... what else WOULD she say? I mean, her job kind of depends on her size.

    I can allow others to make me feel positively happy on a regular basis, and do; but being happy with myself because of my size is a different matter altogether.

    Are you suggesting that anyone who claims to be happy while over a certain weight is lying? Because I think you might be projecting some, there.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    sjadev1108 wrote: »
    This issue has come to my attention often lately with the amount of reality TV shows focusing on body image and issues (height, weight, etc.) I keep hearing people say they are "fat and happy". I also saw on an E! news report the other evening a girl that is a plus size model (size 24). She claimed she was very happy and comfortable at her weight. My question is, do you think this is REALLY a reality?

    This is what Tess Munster has to say:
    http://www.tessmunster.com/about.html
    http://theplussizelife.blogspot.ca/
    Do you really think someone can be "happy" if they are morbidly obese?
    Right off, let's separate "fat", from "overweight", "obese" and "morbidly obese". I use the BMI definitions. I was unhealthy at morbidly obese, am obese now, and I want to be overweight. When I am done I will be fat and happy, but not morbidly obese. I'm happy now, but more about that later.
    However, I don't see anything positive coming from not fitting in public spaces, or not being able to use stairs. Tell me what you think, are these public figures really happy at their morbidly obese weight??

    Can the disabled be happy? Of course they can. They make adjustments to navigate through life, but they find a way.

    Believe it or not, this dramatic weight loss comes with it's inconveniences, like not having anything fit to wear. When I would get annoyed at losing yet another five pounds, my granddaughter would remind me that I was happy before, I am happy now, and I will be happy whatever weight I end up. Bless her heart.

    It's true. I've been accomplished, talented, and successful in many areas of my life; an intelligent, kind and wise leader. Weight loss eluded me, but that was just one area of my life. Who I am as a person is not based on my body fat composition.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    TheVirgoddess wrote: »
    sjadev1108 wrote: »
    I don't mean to equate skinny with happy, or to say that thin people never have bad days. I do, however, think that being obese, you have put more obstacles in your own way.

    What obstacles? Genuinely curious.

    are you talking literal or figurative obstacles...?
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    when I was 210 pounds and did not exercise I had good days and bad days...now that I have lost the weight and done a bulk/cut cycle I still have good days and bad days...

    it is the same thing with money ..some people can be poor and happy..others can be rich and miserable..the only difference is having money makes life a little easier ...
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Oooh, I love the mobility and vitality my reduced weight has got me! I'll give it that!
  • Eudoxy
    Eudoxy Posts: 391 Member
    Yes. I don't think weight has a lot to do with happiness.
  • pickledeggy
    pickledeggy Posts: 31 Member
    edited March 2015
    No. I got up to 257 lbs from 175 in under two years through greed, ignorance and laziness. I looked disgusting, i had back pains, i had to wear uk size 22. I was happy when i ate but afterwards i felt crap. Depressed, huge, unfit,ashamed of harming my body the way i was. Too ashamed to take my daughter out. Nothing to be happy or proud of. Im down 45lbs sincs september and a uk 16 top and bottom and only starting to feel happy and more confident again now. I like cute clothes, i couldnt wear them when i was my biggest. Im still not at my smallest point where i could wear pretty dresses but ill be back there near the end of this summer. Another 36lbs. I have 72lbs left total to my overall goal and im getting happier and more like myself with each pound i lose.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    yes, of course, a lot of people love being fat,.... and a lot of men love their women fat and vice versa.... I love to be smoking hot, and so does my hubs...so just right is what it is.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,031 Member
    edited March 2015
    sjadev1108 wrote: »
    I don't mean to equate skinny with happy, or to say that thin people never have bad days. I do, however, think that being obese, you have put more obstacles in your own way.
    That's subjective though. While it's an issue with higher health risk, what obstacles are you referring to? Playing sports? There's lots of thin people that can't play sports? Getting a job? Thinner people may be more "ideal" in perception for a job, but doesn't always equate to a job well done. Unlucky in love? There are lots of lonely lean people out there too.
    So define the obstacles that pertain to obese people that don't pertain to lean people?

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  • BarbieAS
    BarbieAS Posts: 1,414 Member
    edited March 2015
    Happy with their health/body image, or happy overall? I would say maybe, for a very small proportion of people, for the former, and of course for the latter.

    One does not have to be happy with EVERY SINGLE aspect of their life and self in order to be generally happy. I'm overweight, I have probably 60lbs to lose before I will be at a weight where I can be satisfied with the number on the scale (not discounting possible further fitness or aesthetic goals after my initial weight goal, but that's where I know I've been comfortable in the past). HOWEVER, I have two amazing children, a wonderful husband, great friends and extended family (for the most part, lol), a satisfying job, have no significant health issues (yet) - including no mental health issues that may impact my mood or satisfaction with my life, am not struggling financially, have a lovely home and community, have ample opportunities for hobbies and activities and volunteerism that I enjoy...thankfully. Plus, I like to think I'm a pretty decent person. I'm happy, no question. Am I currently satisfied with the way I look and feel, from a weight perspective? No. But my weight does not define me as a whole person, and I find it insulting for someone to imply that it should.
  • weightofgold
    weightofgold Posts: 17 Member
    You might have been but I do not equate my success in life with my body fat percentage. I am intelligent, funny, holds a Phd, a wonderful husband , a beautiful son. I am supposed to unhappy because i am overweight? really? I was thin until my pregnancy 4 years ago. I want to lose weight eventually because I have family history of diabetics. But am I going to happier once I am thinner? I doubt it.
  • weightofgold
    weightofgold Posts: 17 Member
    BarbieAS wrote: »
    Happy with their health/body image, or happy overall? I would say maybe, for a very small proportion of people, for the former, and of course for the latter.

    One does have to be happy with EVERY SINGLE aspect of their life and self in order to be generally happy. I'm overweight, I have probably 60lbs to lose before I will be at a weight where I can be satisfied with the number on the scale (not discounting possible further fitness or aesthetic goals after my initial weight goal, but that's where I know I've been comfortable in the past). HOWEVER, I have two amazing children, a wonderful husband, great friends and extended family (for the most part, lol), a satisfying job, have no significant health issues (yet) - including no mental health issues that may impact my mood or satisfaction with my life, am not struggling financially, have a lovely home and community, have ample opportunities for hobbies and activities and volunteerism that I enjoy...thankfully. Plus, I like to think I'm a pretty decent person. I'm happy, no question. Am I currently satisfied with the way I look and feel, from a weight perspective? No. But my weight does not define me as a whole person, and I find it insulting for someone to imply that it should.


    Well put....
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    For most of my late teens to early thirties I weighed over 250 lb, so I was morbidly obese and I still felt happy, comfortable in 99% of situations (physically and emotionally comfortable) and even felt quite attractive most of the time.

    Now at a healthy weight for my height, I'm happier...but not by much. I don't say that to complain. I was happy before and I'm happy now. So I KNOW it is definitely possible.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    I was fairly happy as a fat girl, up until my blood sugar and cholesterol went bananas. Then I had to change that. It really is much easier to get nice clothes now at size 8, though. I sure do miss the food but oh well. Whatcha gonna do. Gotta play the hand I'm dealt. If my blood values had stayed ok I would probably still be happy and fat.
  • Atarahh
    Atarahh Posts: 485 Member
    Really doe?! That's like saying a person with a disability can't truly be happy. Happiness comes from within. It should not be based on anything external!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    That being said, this question burned in me for years,

    "What one thing could you do that if you did on a regular basis would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal life?" It's the question in Covey's third habit from "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".

    I knew what the answer was; weight loss. Not dealing with that one thing that I knew would make the biggest positive difference, took a toll on my personal integrity.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    ...and on the OTHER hand, to claim I can't be fat and happy would mean to diminish the last fifty years of my life! No way. I made my choices and lived with them. Lots of great memories under that bridge.
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
    Being happy doesn't have to be tied to how you look or how healthy you are. Otherwise anyone with anything out of the norm looks/health could never be happy.

    Being happy doesn't mean you won't/don't want to be healthier.

    Being happy at any size is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. A positive outlook can make a big difference. Doesn't mean you should get complacent and not improve your health.

    So yes,..you can be overweight and happy,.. I was.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    Why wouldn't they? Limiters to happiness that don't relate to individual perspective might be physical discomfort or health issues, also societal bias if they're sensitive to it, but otherwise, really, come on.
  • happygalah
    happygalah Posts: 343 Member
    For me no, because both times I got fat there were circumstances that contributed to it like 1st time being in a very abusive marriage. This time was from death in the family and other family troubles. Both times led to severe depression where I ate a lot.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited March 2015
    See people can be happy even with limitations. I was a morbidly obese size 28 happy woman. Sure I got winded on stairs, sure I had problems tying my shoes..etc..etc, but these were merely inconveniences I could live with, just like being uncomfortable sitting on a hard surface now that I've lost a big chunk of weight, having loose skin, or that my favorite bra does not come in a small enough band. Had I not come face to face with the possibility of getting diabetes I would have possibly still been a happy size 28. I wouldn't say I'm happier now than I used to be as a morbidly obese, it's just a different kind of happiness. Things that make me happy now are different, and I wouldn't have enjoyed them back then.

    Edit: Just for the record. As a morbidly obese person I never had problems in the love department, social relationships, enjoying my life outside or in my career.
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
    I think anyone in any circumstance can be happy...but I don't know if someone can genuinely be happy ABOUT being fat.
  • itsclobberintime
    itsclobberintime Posts: 164 Member
    Happiness is not always dependent on your appearance.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    BrunetteRunner87 wrote: »
    I think anyone in any circumstance can be happy...but I don't know if someone can genuinely be happy ABOUT being fat.

    ABOUT being fat, probably not (although I do like myself a little bit plump at the very end of healthy BMI), but sometimes it's whatever tips the scale. If the things that make me happy are also the things that contribute to me being fat then the perceived tradeoff is well worth it and is a more appealing option than being thin and losing those privileges.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Being happy and being happy with your body are two entirely different things.

    I'm still overweight and I'm perfectly happy. I don't believe in finding happiness in physical, ever evolving things. I find happiness in love, great weather, a good book, good friends. Having blonde hair doesn't make me happy or unhappy. It just is. My weight (no matter what it is) doesn't make me happy or unhappy, it just is.

    I guess it depends on how much value you place on your appearance that will determine how much that influences your happiness.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    there are a lot of things that contribute to my happiness other than my weight but I sure was miserable not fitting into my clothes and looking at pictures of myself when I was so heavy. I feel much happier and have more confidence now. Just feel better about myself like I have some control and not letting food dominate me.
  • MeiannaLee
    MeiannaLee Posts: 338 Member
    I dont know much about psychology or others in general (lol), but I do know that before I started loosing weight and was fat, I was not happy. And as much as I tried to be body positive and convince myself that I had to love my body as it was and embrace my "curves"(double lol), i couldnt. The fact of the matter was, I was born to be fit and healthy.

    Ive only lost about 12 pounds, but I have so much confidence now Its unbelievable.
    And I love the feeling of being sore after leg day, and then having some nice fruit and veggies.

    I love all aspects of the healthy, clean life. And this is just what I needed to be happy. Others dont need this, because they are happy with the way they are and they way their lives are. Which is fantastic!
  • ryanhorn
    ryanhorn Posts: 355 Member
    There's so much more to life than a number on a scale. I'm sure there are plenty of people that are larger that are on top of the world in happiness just like there's probably plenty of people who are fit that are miserable. It's a state of mind.
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