Chuck Norris Facts

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  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Chuck Norris decided he would get a pet. Here's a pic:















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  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do:

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  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Mr Miyagi waxes Chuck Norris's car.
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
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    Yesss!!!!
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
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    Chuck Norris once ran backwards from a fight. He did that so he could kick that dude's *kitten* from the other side.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Chuck Norris Won "Iron Chef America" with only one dish and an expired, unheated microwave burrito from 7-Eleven.
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
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    A giraffe became a girafffe because Chuck Norris kicked a horse under the mouth
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Chuck Norris is the reason NWA ran Straight Outta Compton.
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
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    Chuck Norris had sex in a semi. Some of his sperm got into the engine, and now the truck is known as Optimus Prime
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,902 Member
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    Chuck Norris once strangled a man with a cordless phone.
  • Feeline666
    Feeline666 Posts: 56 Member
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    If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
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    Chuck Norris can speak braille
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
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    Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Chuch Norris can make a Taylor Swift relationship last.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Chuck Norris doen't always drink beer. But when he does, he prefers to roundhouse kick "The Most Interesting Man in the World" in the face and takes his Dos Equis.

    "Stay thirsty my friends".
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,902 Member
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    Chuck Norris counted to infinity..... Twice.
  • AkCyclist
    AkCyclist Posts: 1,200 Member
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    Chuck Norris turned 75 today, or should I say 75 turned chuck Norris.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    When Chuck Norris has morning wood, he's taller laying down than standing up.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups - he pushes the world down
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Chuck Norris' tears contain the cure for cancer.

    Too bad he has never cried.

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