Chuck Norris Facts

13

Replies

  • cdlee05
    cdlee05 Posts: 718 Member
    Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
  • cdlee05
    cdlee05 Posts: 718 Member
    Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
  • cdlee05
    cdlee05 Posts: 718 Member
    omg this is my absolute favorite message board. YES!!!
  • cdlee05
    cdlee05 Posts: 718 Member
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
  • cdlee05
    cdlee05 Posts: 718 Member
    barry1992 wrote: »
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

    LOL!!!!

  • glwage
    glwage Posts: 375 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He pushes the world down.
  • Benjinkan
    Benjinkan Posts: 1,107 Member
    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

    It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

    Chuck Norris invented beef burgers by kicking a cow through a chain-link fence.
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
    Burpees hate Chuck Norris.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
  • glwage
    glwage Posts: 375 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't watch porn. Porn watches Chuck Norris.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".
  • glwage
    glwage Posts: 375 Member
    The sight of Chuck Norris makes elephants forget.
  • glwage
    glwage Posts: 375 Member
    The only reason Charlie Sheen is winning is because Chuck invented it.
  • glwage
    glwage Posts: 375 Member
    Chuck's electric vehicle never needs to be recharged. It harnesses the power of Chuck.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
    giphy.gif
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
    Chuck Norris once swam up a waterfall
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
    The was once a street named Chuck Norris. Officials changed its name for public safety as no on crosses Chuck Norris alive
  • RunTimer
    RunTimer Posts: 9,137 Member
    Chuck Norris is what the Bulls in Pamplona are running from
    man-injured-in-running-of-the-bulls-despite-writing-guide-to-running-of-the-bulls.gif
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
    When Chuck Norris was 5, he was 6
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Chuck Norris has a beach-house in Alaska








  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.

    He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  • cdlee05
    cdlee05 Posts: 718 Member
    TRUE:

    You can't even type "Chuck Norris Jokes" in Google...it only populates "Chuck Norris FACTS".
  • JeraldTX
    JeraldTX Posts: 42 Member
    Monsters check under their beds for Chuck Norris.
  • JeraldTX
    JeraldTX Posts: 42 Member
    When Chuck Norris blows out a candle, he can roundhouse kick you three times before it gets dark.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Chuck Norris never get sick. But when the flu gets Chuck Norris, it has to stay in bed for two whole weeks.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Mr. Whipple begged Chuck Norris to squeeze the Charmin.





  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
  • srv524
    srv524 Posts: 1,363 Member
    Chuck Norris died years ago; Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him.
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