Discouraged by MFP
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Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.
Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. People with humour and strong opinions that you can debate with and interact with as adults.
Support to me is people telling it like it is, I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine. I don't need to be buttered up or babied and I don't expect many other adults need it either
It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US
*hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:0 -
krisalexine wrote: »This is my third day on MFP.
I have officially been chastised, in red letters, by MFP. I didn't eat enough calories yesterday. I understand they want you to be healthy. I would understand if this was a common occurrence or something, but trust me this is rare for me! I wasn't hungry most of the day and I took advantage of it. Before starting this journey, I would probably eat a zillion calories a day. Ok, maybe not a zillion, but A LOT.
Yesterday I made such healthy decisions! I found time to take three walks during my work day! I work at a desk, so this is often hard for me to fit in. I also joined my friends and went to a casual volleyball league that I had been avoiding. I didn't eat the cake or cookies that were laid out at work. I didn't go out with my friends for ice cream after volleyball. I was so proud of myself! I was excited to complete my entry for the day. And then all I saw was red text and MFP telling me to make additional entries. I almost went out and ate the entire kitchen.
I was no longer proud.
I was no longer excited.
I just wanted to give up.
I went from being all pumped up to finally try and change things to feeling like a failure 2 days in.
First of all, welcome to MFP! I've stated this before: people here can be mean, and will readily focus on the negative - no, wait, i'm sorry - "tough love" they call it? - rather than on encouragement. People so quickly forget they were the ones feeling the same things not too long ago once they shed some weight/gain some muscle, log 1K posts, and now they're fitness and diet experts. SMDH
Mixed in with all the bullsh*t above is some decent advice, so please filter through the negativity to find the encouragement... there isn't a lot I can say that someone hasn't already said.
When I'm feeling discouraged, I talk to boyfriend who also happens to be my training partner. I know a lot of people don't have the luxury of having someone around them constantly who is going through the same thing and understands wanting to give up, so if you ever feel discouraged again, feel free to message me directly. And also, IMHO, I'd never start a thread on the forums unless it's asking consumer reviews about a non-consumable product... such as shoes, gloves, etc. I find it's worked out better for me that way.
LOL. I love all the positivity in the post. Keep it coming!0 -
Timorous_Beastie wrote: »This is my third day on MFP.
I have officially been chastised, in red letters, by MFP. I didn't eat enough calories yesterday. I understand they want you to be healthy. I would understand if this was a common occurrence or something, but trust me this is rare for me! I wasn't hungry most of the day and I took advantage of it. Before starting this journey, I would probably eat a zillion calories a day. Ok, maybe not a zillion, but A LOT.
Yesterday I made such healthy decisions! I found time to take three walks during my work day! I work at a desk, so this is often hard for me to fit in. I also joined my friends and went to a casual volleyball league that I had been avoiding. I didn't eat the cake or cookies that were laid out at work. I didn't go out with my friends for ice cream after volleyball. I was so proud of myself! I was excited to complete my entry for the day. And then all I saw was red text and MFP telling me to make additional entries. I almost went out and ate the entire kitchen.
I was no longer proud.
I was no longer excited.
I just wanted to give up.
I went from being all pumped up to finally try and change things to feeling like a failure 2 days in.
A change in perspective is needed here.
If that happened to me, I'd think, "Really?! Woohoo! Today was tough, and I put a lot of work into making good choices, and now I know it doesn't have to be that hard! I could just take one or two walks, instead of three, and maybe have one cookie, and still reach my goals. This is awesome. It's not going to be as hard as I thought."
^This exactly. I'm not sure why you took it to heart so much. It's an easy fix0 -
Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.
Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. :
There's a difference between being straight-forward and being negative. I didn't read through the entire thread to see if you fall into either category. I'm merely responding to your last comment made.I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine.
Not everyone has enough people in real life.It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US
*hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:
I'm from Jersey (specifically the suburbs outside New York City), where almost EVERYONE is straight-forward and tells it like it is. Again, there is a HUGE difference in being honest and being an as*. Again, I haven't read the whole thread to see which category you fit into, just responding to your comments.
Bottom line, OP was clearly feeling discouraged and reached out to a people in a forum for encouragement. If you (general YOU... not calling YOU out rabbitjb) didn't want to offer encouragement, then cool, but you (general YOU) didn't have to offer DIScouragement either, or make her feel worse than she already did.0 -
krisalexine wrote: »Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.
Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. :
There's a difference between being straight-forward and being negative. I didn't read through the entire thread to see if you fall into either category. I'm merely responding to your last comment made.I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine.
Not everyone has enough people in real life.It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US
*hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:
I'm from Jersey (specifically the suburbs outside New York City), where almost EVERYONE is straight-forward and tells it like it is. Again, there is a HUGE difference in being honest and being an as*. Again, I haven't read the whole thread to see which category you fit into, just responding to your comments.
Bottom line, OP was clearly feeling discouraged and reached out to a people in a forum for encouragement. If you (general YOU... not calling YOU out rabbitjb) didn't want to offer encouragement, then cool, but you (general YOU) didn't have to offer DIScouragement either, or make her feel worse than she already did.
But seriously, I don't know how some people manage in real life.
In situations like these, it's best to know your audience before addressing them. If the same OP was said in a weight watcher's meeting, I'm sure they'd receive nothing but encouragement and figurative hand-holding. But on an internet forum, even one as tame as MFP, you're going to get responses you won't like. It pays to lurk a little to know what you're getting into before you post.0 -
hollydubs85 wrote: »krisalexine wrote: »Meh! you know what, I'm getting so bored of the sycophantic "meanie" posts round here, they actually turn my stomach a little.
Since the day I started here I've enjoyed the straight-forward adult advice from a wide number of posters here. :
There's a difference between being straight-forward and being negative. I didn't read through the entire thread to see if you fall into either category. I'm merely responding to your last comment made.I have enough people in real life to sympathise, empathise and tell me everything is fine.
Not everyone has enough people in real life.It might be a cultural difference ...we don't do cheerleading so much, but I find that's also true of other nations and vast swathes of the US
*hoiks up judgey-pants* but hell, at least I know I'm wearing them :huh:
I'm from Jersey (specifically the suburbs outside New York City), where almost EVERYONE is straight-forward and tells it like it is. Again, there is a HUGE difference in being honest and being an as*. Again, I haven't read the whole thread to see which category you fit into, just responding to your comments.
Bottom line, OP was clearly feeling discouraged and reached out to a people in a forum for encouragement. If you (general YOU... not calling YOU out rabbitjb) didn't want to offer encouragement, then cool, but you (general YOU) didn't have to offer DIScouragement either, or make her feel worse than she already did.
But seriously, I don't know how some people manage in real life.
In situations like these, it's best to know your audience before addressing them. If the same OP was said in a weight watcher's meeting, I'm sure they'd receive nothing but encouragement and figurative hand-holding. But on an internet forum, even one as tame as MFP, you're going to get responses you won't like. It pays to lurk a little to know what you're getting into before you post.
Or you post and get true honest answers because we all know truth hurts.
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In the beginning I had this issue a lot. I had an eating disorder and was barely doing 800 calories a day. It jacked up my metabolism and led to a weight gain. I was told to get my eating under control--eat more--so that my metabolism would start working properly again by my doctor. Little by little, I learned, through using MFP, what I could eat to get more calories. It was a learning process. I've been here for nearly a year now and I still get the red warning from time to time. No biggie. I've lost 55lbs (my tracker will show 47, I think, because I joined after I started losing). I know I'm on track. The proof is in the pudding!
What I found that really helped me was pre-logging. Plan your meals throughout the day if you can. That way you can see when you have room for more or when you need to cut back. I don't do this religiously, but I do it some. This is a tool. Use it in a manner that works for you and don't sweat the small stuff.
And definitely don't give up because you feel like you've done something wrong!!! That was an awesome day. Be proud of that day. Be proud of YOU.0 -
Great job, you'll get the hang of it soon, and the red will not be a problem for you. Good Luck and dont give up, remember why you started this journey.0
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Hang in there, OP. You can do this. Don't get discouraged. It takes a lot of time!0
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don't get bent out of shape over the message. i have received it a couple times myself and I just figure it makes up for the times I est over my calories. MFP just wants to alert you to not eat under calories all the time0
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I got chastised by htg real people and the mfp eat too little police. it is un nerving i agree0
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hollydubs85 wrote: »In situations like these, it's best to know your audience before addressing them. If the same OP was said in a weight watcher's meeting, I'm sure they'd receive nothing but encouragement and figurative hand-holding.
In a WW meeting? Probably. On the WW message boards? Not a chance. They have the same, "You guys are so MEAN; let's hug each other and tell each other that everything we're doing is PERFECT" bull%&^* over there. Because that advice is always so helpful (eyeroll).
Definitely pays to know your audience.
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I usually get that message when I have stuck to my calorie count but did a lot of exercise that day…and yes, I like getting that message from time to time because it reminds me that I'm on the right track.
And that I can have a low-cal pudding.
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There may be something wrong with me, but I totally LOVE it when I get that message!0
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I would advise you to get a strong grip and stop making excuses
It is just a website. A tool to aid you. It does not have an emotional power over you, only you have that power.
It is designed to give you a calorie goal - some people choose to do 5:2 and will hit only 500 calories on 2 days - they may choose to monitor their calories over the week.
+100 am sure the rest of you told the OP, but this addresses the point. Just lol at shifting blame onto MFP, its just a tool for goodness sake. OP if you are like this after three days you are going to let yourself into a lot of grief for your journey ahead.
Its clear you ont understand why it flags red. Before you jump into dieting realise its a journey that could easily take you a year, so you need a decent mindset that understands what you are attempting to do , has some knowledge about how weight loss works as is more chilled out in the long term. Whats going to happen to you when soemthing more than MFP clicking in to remind you that you have not eaten enough for the day? Educating yourself is the smart way to start and finish your journey.-1 -
This is my third day on MFP.
I have officially been chastised, in red letters, by MFP. I didn't eat enough calories yesterday. I understand they want you to be healthy. I would understand if this was a common occurrence or something, but trust me this is rare for me! I wasn't hungry most of the day and I took advantage of it. Before starting this journey, I would probably eat a zillion calories a day. Ok, maybe not a zillion, but A LOT.
Yesterday I made such healthy decisions! I found time to take three walks during my work day! I work at a desk, so this is often hard for me to fit in. I also joined my friends and went to a casual volleyball league that I had been avoiding. I didn't eat the cake or cookies that were laid out at work. I didn't go out with my friends for ice cream after volleyball. I was so proud of myself! I was excited to complete my entry for the day. And then all I saw was red text and MFP telling me to make additional entries. I almost went out and ate the entire kitchen.
I was no longer proud.
I was no longer excited.
I just wanted to give up.
I went from being all pumped up to finally try and change things to feeling like a failure 2 days in.
If you felt good about your day and it isn't a common occurance to go below 1,200 calories then don't let the warning bother you. It doesn't mean you are a failure. It just means that eating below a certain number of calories triggers an automated message. Now that you are aware that it will happen if you don't get 1,200 calories you can eat more so you don't see it or just ignore it. You won't got kicked off or publicly shamed if you get the message.
I do recommend pre-logging your whole day so you eat enough calories and don't get upset by going over or under at the end of the day.0 -
LouisaM162 wrote: »There may be something wrong with me, but I totally LOVE it when I get that message!
I hope it isn't because you equate extreme calorie deficit with success...
...because that seems like a potentially Very Bad Thing™.
Ugh. I just skimmed some more of this thread and...well...
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »I think we should just be happy that when we go over our calorie goal, we don't get a message that says, "Knock it off, Lardass".
We don't....do we?
I kind of wish we would get that message. LOL
Oh, I think the "in 5 weeks you will weigh +5 lbs" or the like is similar enough. It's more of a disincentive for me than "way to overeat, fatso!" would be. In fact, I assume the idea of the designer of the app/site is that even just the red line would be a huge disincentive (which it is). Funny thing is that I don't log exercise (I do TDEE method) and yet it still bugs me when it claims I'm going to gain. Not lots, because that would be silly, but even though I know it's math doesn't take the full facts into consideration, it still isn't 100% neutral for me. (The low message has never bothered me, since I know why I ate low when I do, which is rare.)
Anyway, I don't ever log on the app. It sounds like the app has far too many opinions for an app. The computer site is pretty limited in its opinions.0 -
Jackie0Marie wrote: »This is only a color. MFP is only a tool. You only fail if you don't face your real issue and keep trying. Giving up so quickly because of something mundane is the problem, not MFP warning you about not eating enough. I would be thankful to see red letters - a reminder I should eat more, a reminder to look at my macros and see if I am lacking on a nutritional front. Change the prospective and not jump to blame.
Also, can all the mean-people-bandwagoners people read this post, please and thank you: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10105396/to-all-the-mfp-meanies-and-know-it-alls-this-is-for-you/p1
Dude, my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
LouisaM162 wrote: »There may be something wrong with me, but I totally LOVE it when I get that message!
Yes, there is, it's called disordered eating. That warning is there for a damn good reason.
Having the occasional day under is not a big deal, or even more regularly if you're doing something like 5:2 or zig zag, where your calorie intake balances out over the week. But if you are consistently getting a warning that you haven't eaten enough and you're not making that up on other days you need to eat more. And if you're happy that you're getting that warning all the time you need to seek professional help.0
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