Not sure why friends care what you eat
Workout4Health
Posts: 447 Member
That's one of the unfortunate realities when you're watching your food intake. Friends will always insist that when you're out with them that you eat something, even if you already ate a meal. In fact one of my friends got offended when I only had water once time. He said that as a common courtesy you should always get something so that the other person doesn't look stupid.
Another reality is that sometimes friends want to split the bill with others and order a pizza or something, but they can't eat it all by themselves so they want others to chip in. Heck some go as far to say that if you're working out you need all the carbs and protein so that you stay strong, lol.
Another reality is that sometimes friends want to split the bill with others and order a pizza or something, but they can't eat it all by themselves so they want others to chip in. Heck some go as far to say that if you're working out you need all the carbs and protein so that you stay strong, lol.
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I've experienced all of those as well. What I never understood is how am I offending someone if I don't order something? Sometimes I'm not hungry, so why should I pay money for food that I'm not going to eat?0
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Like you said, it's because they don't want to look stupid. I always just say that I am doing what I feel is best for my health and my family, so if you cannot accept that, then it's not really my issue. It's all about them seeing you make positive changes for yourself, feeling bad about not doing it themselves, and trying to drag you back down. If they can't get it and continue to give you crap, maybe they're not as good of a friend as you think. In my opinion, a really good friend is supportive, especially when I'm making difficult life changes that are going to better me.0
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Because love.0
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Solution: Order something and have it brought to you in a to-go box. Eat it later in whatever portions fit your macros. Boom!0
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that's part of the beauty of being hard of hearing...in loud restaurants, I hear 5% of what people say...the other 95, I'm stuffing my face. Just nod and smile, and say 'What!??" about 8,000 times, and they'll just give up adding you in the convo altogether..0
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You seem to have friends that care in the "wrong way". Instead of forcing or encouraging you to do something contrary to your goals, they should be supportive and understanding!0
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You need better friends then......My friends never say anything about what I eat0
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More often I've had the opposite problem. People who know I'm tracking calories/working out will see me eating something they don't see as "diet food" and say "Are you supposed to be eating that?" or "Oh, there goes the diet, huh?" Pfffttt, they wish.
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I thought this was going to be about looking at peoples diaries.
If I want water I drink water. If I dont eat them Im sure as hell not splitting the bill. Id normally have told them why I was doing x, but then id expect them to respect that. Od laugh if they tried to change my mind either way.0 -
I just say oh sorry, you're right. Then I just do my thing anyway and I don't hear another peep out of them.0
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I thought this was going to be about peoples diaries as well.0
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None of my friends are that annoying.0
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meowmixmastah wrote: »
This!!! It also bothers me so much when I decline a treat and they say "Oh, you can't have it on your diet?" Umm, no, I CAN have anything I want. I CHOOSE to enjoy it in moderation. TODAY is not the day to enjoy [treat I am currently declining]. I usually just say "not today".0 -
Well, I can see myself being a little put off if I made plans with a friend to go out to lunch or (worse) dinner and when we got to the restaurant, that person had already eaten and just drank water while I had a meal. Yes, it would make me feel awkward and a little annoyed that now I'm hungry and have to spend money to eat when we could have both eaten at home and then done some other activity together.
Perhaps the next time you are invited out, you can try suggesting an alternative activity, like taking a walk in a park. That way your friend doesn't expect that you will be lunching together, only to find him/herself eating while you watch.0 -
Oh, you're speaking my language! lol I have ordered water once at the bar when out for a friends birthday while everyone was consuming massive quantities of junk. I "blamed" it on Lent. Thank God for Lent!!!
Ultimately, you know what your body needs! Stay strong!0 -
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Why would you go out to lunch with someone if you don't plan on eating?0
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Depends on the situation. I would HATE going out to eat and the other person eats beforehand or doesn't eat. I think it's rude. What is the point of going out to eat *specifically* and not eating??
If it isn't plans to eat, then I don't care. Eat or not. If I am hungry and don't get anything because you don't want to, that's my problem because these plans were NOT made for going out to eat - just going out.0 -
Because eating out is a social activity, engaging or not engaging in it does affect others0
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Am I the only person who has never gone out with a group that split the bill evenly? I think this must be because the people I dine out with the most (outside of family) are all accountants.
My friends generally don't say much about what I am eating or not eating.0 -
Workout4Health wrote: »That's one of the unfortunate realities when you're watching your food intake. Friends will always insist that when you're out with them that you eat something, even if you already ate a meal. In fact one of my friends got offended when I only had water once time. He said that as a common courtesy you should always get something so that the other person doesn't look stupid.
Another reality is that sometimes friends want to split the bill with others and order a pizza or something, but they can't eat it all by themselves so they want others to chip in. Heck some go as far to say that if you're working out you need all the carbs and protein so that you stay strong, lol.
to be fair, if i had agreed to go out for food with a friend and then they didnt order anything i would find that a bit ridiculous. why not just say 'yeah i'll meet you but i'll already have eaten', that is common courtesy to me. i wouldnt feel stupid ordering on my own though.0 -
Well, I can see myself being a little put off if I made plans with a friend to go out to lunch or (worse) dinner and when we got to the restaurant, that person had already eaten and just drank water while I had a meal. Yes, it would make me feel awkward and a little annoyed that now I'm hungry and have to spend money to eat when we could have both eaten at home and then done some other activity together.
Perhaps the next time you are invited out, you can try suggesting an alternative activity, like taking a walk in a park. That way your friend doesn't expect that you will be lunching together, only to find him/herself eating while you watch.
I agree. If I am joining a group of friends for dinner, then I feel fine not ordering food. But if I am one-on-one with a friend, I feel it is rude not to order anything. Usually though, if a friend wants to get dinner, I'll suggest drinks instead (can always order a diet soda or a glass of wine on occasion). Or I'll just explain that I'm going to eat beforehand, so perhaps we can sit at the bar and order drinks and appetizers.0 -
My friends don't give a crap what i eat0
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GodlessHeathen wrote: »My friends don't give a crap what i eat
Generally this, but I do find simple responses work pretty well, without making anyone else feel stupid or alienating me.
I mean it's pretty obvious to everyone that I've lost a LOT of weight, so most comments (positive, negative and everything in between) generally get greeted with a quiet smile and that's about it. I usually change the subject when people talk about weight and fitness, because I only know about my own experiences so I'm really not the best to ask for advice and I sure don't want to hear the great long litany of everyone else's tortuous diet experiences (I don't tell them about mine). I eat what I want, when I want to, and if I don't want something a quick "no thank you" (accompanied by a smile) works. If they insist, I just repeat (with a slightly more strained smile or even an eye-roll). On the other hand, if someone starts apologizing for wanting dessert, I give them the confused look which implies I think they're stupid for feeling guilt/apologizing (happens quite often, even though I've never really been one for desserts even at my largest).
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I was raised to believe that food was a celebration. When something good would happen, we would congregate and enjoy food and the company of friends. I would associate food with fellowship.
Some people associate food and friendship. Some people feel offended if you do not partake in their festivities; like it is a rejection of their friendship.
When my friends go out, I try to make good choices. While I'm not perfect and have fallen victim to the occasional pitcher of beer or (cough) half a pizza. I try to make healthier choices, but still enjoy myself. If I don't want to eat, I will politely decline. If they press the subject, I'll let them know why. Most understand. Some don't. If they're friends of yours they'll understand even though they still give you the business.0 -
More often I've had the opposite problem. People who know I'm tracking calories/working out will see me eating something they don't see as "diet food" and say "Are you supposed to be eating that?" or "Oh, there goes the diet, huh?" Pfffttt, they wish.
This has been my experience as well. And yes, sometimes, they do wish. I have encountered a few people (not friends, mostly co-workers) who would never admit it, but don't want me to succeed. One woman--a tiny bit of a thing, not overweight at all--was constantly pushing food on me. Finally I just said, "Don't worry...no matter how much I lose, I'll never be as small as you". (She is very petite; it would be unhealthy for me to weigh what she weighs). She stopped with the food pushing after that, and I thought, "Maybe she felt threatened? Maybe she wants to be the only tiny cute one?" Who knows. Like I said, she's just a co-worker and I don't see her outside of work, so it's not a huge issue.
I also find that people put you in a category, i.e. their "fat friend" (even though, again, they'd never admit it) and by losing weight and getting healthy, you're rocking the boat.
As for the other issue, what you order when going out to eat with friends, I would never accept a dinner invitation if I didn't plan on eating anything. That makes no sense to me. I'm not saying you have to keep up with everyone drink for drink and course for course. But to say, "Sure! Let's go out to dinner!" and then when you get there say, "Oh, I've already eaten...just water for me"? No. I'll make a plan ahead of time (i.e., one alcoholic drink, then switch to seltzer...either an appetizer or dessert with the main course, not both...whatever) and stick to it.
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"When two split the bill, steak man robs salad man's pocket every time."
-The Blue Raja0 -
The reality is that "friends" really don't care about your personal journey with weight loss/gain/maintenance.
When people realize that, it's much easier to understand.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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^^^^ ThisDjinnMarie wrote: »Why would you go out to lunch with someone if you don't plan on eating?
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