Your denial and excuses story
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Before I even discovered mfp, when i was 50 lbs overweight, i always told myself that I was just curvy and I looked fine and my boyfriend loves me as i am so i should just move on and let myself eat whatever as long as i was happy.0
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judiness101 wrote: »At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
I've let myself get obese twice. The first time I knew I was overweight and out of shape, but was in denial about how bad it had gotten for a couple of years until I saw a photo that snapped me out of it. (I'd always been someone who was average if a few lbs more than my preference without worrying about what I ate, and had never dieted, which meant I had no sense of how it worked. That proved to be helpful once I figured out that it was possible, since I had no baggage from years of dieting or pop advice.)
The second time (I started regaining after maintaining a loss for about 5-6 years), I knew I was obese and unfit basically as soon as I was.What were your go to excuses to be that way?
None, really. The first time I simply felt out of control and didn't really feel like I was doing anything to gain the weight, but I would have agreed that I was being too sedentary and not watching my diet.
Hmm, thinking back, this is not entirely true: I definitely did think "but I don't eat that much" at that time and felt it was unfair that I'd gotten fat. I got over that when I forced myself to really be honest with myself about how I ate and how many calories things probably contained (I was working late constantly at a job that let us order in food from all kinds of restaurants and also had a lot of travel/opportunities to go to fancy restaurants, and I rarely cooked for myself). I also briefly had the "I don't have time to cook/work out" until I saw that plenty of people in my same situation did and then forced myself to figure out how to do it.
The second time I was disgusted with myself, but other stuff was going on that simply meant I wasn't ready to deal with my weight and relapse into a sedentary lifestyle. But in both cases I certainly would have placed the blame on myself.What popular myths were your go to?
Can't think of any. Toward the end of my maintenance period I'd told myself that I could stop watching what I ate in terms of calories so long as I ate "real foods" (my version of eating "clean," and which for me contained plenty of fat--before that I didn't count calories, but I had carefully watched portion size and monitored higher calorie items), but once I knew I was gaining I didn't really have any question as to why. It was simply a matter of not being motivated and not knowing how to get motivated/care enough.
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I am a substance abuse therapist so I tend to think of this as similar to relapse "justifications". The things that people tell themselves in order to make them think it is ok to drink or use drugs.
So mine for food were things like, "it's a special occasion so I can have this 1/2 a cake". Or "look at all these other people eating junk food and they're thin-I should be able to eat junk food too". Or " I'm getting old- it's normal for people to pick up weight when they are old". Or even, "I'll start watching what I eat tomorrow, on Monday, or next week". Or "I've had three kids!" I've got a million of them.
Okay, if we are thinking of excuses in terms of why we weren't motivated, vs. why we were fat, I had tons of these. I'll start tomorrow or it's not a good time because X were ones I said over and over.
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back in the day i always accused my being large on the fact that i had "a slow metabolism," which is hysterical to me now. a few years ago i came across a receipt that i still had in my pocket of my coat. it was from mcdonalds and was my lunch the day i was at work. a big mac value meal, a crispy chicken wrap, a double cheeseburger, and two apple pies. right. slow metabolism my foot. i was literally eating myself into the grave and the sad thing is i would have gone to my grave swearing i was eating okay and it was a because my metabolism crawled like a turtle.0
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at my "worst" which I mean you mean fattest, I wasn't in denial. I knew I was obese. I don't know if I had an excuse, but at the time I flat out refused to restrict my eating. I worked out, ran regularly, but I had a rule that if I wanted to eat something I did. My reason was that I used to have an eating disorder and I was so afraid that if I started restricting, I would fall back into my old ways. This was why MFP made a huge difference for me- I felt like it was ok for me to watch what I ate once I had a tool that helped me make sure I wasn't not only eating too much, but to also make sure I wasn't eating too little.
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I didn't make excuses, and I knew I was overweight. I resisted food logging because, reasons, but once was emotionally prepared to use food logging as a tool, I was able to face just what I ate in what portions. Making better choices and portion control have helped a lot, and I expect that I will need food logging as long as I have control over my food choices.0
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SergeantSausage wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
Muh sugahs ... I gots to keeps muh sugahs up ... om nom nom nom ...
Yeah. It is a giant excuse for folks.
You don't need to eat half a cake, the whole pint of ice cream, and a snickers bar to up your sugars. About a third of the snickers would have done it. Or a slice of bread. Or an apple ...
I think the thread is asking us "stupid" fat people to share our experience. Not seeking "smart" people to share their omniscient ignorance on the subject.0 -
Yes I meant fattest. I'm sorry if the word worst offended you. In my case I was seriously obese, but I was seeing myself as chubby.CorvusCorax77 wrote: »at my "worst" which I mean you mean fattest
I will answer my own thread latter.
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I work in a bakery, located in a foodcourt.. everyday i will reset my MFP to 0 streak day because i ate more than my daily calorie intake. But still, i need to lose weight to get preggy..0
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At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit? yes, definitely.
What were your go to excuses to be that way? blood sugar/reactive hypoglycemia. i could not get it under control and had to eat in order to correct the lows. i was eating moderate carb/low glycemic load foods and still crashing. i couldn't do moderate exercise without crashing and needing to correct. i couldnt eat without crashing. it was a cycle and i couldn't figure out how to stop it.
What popular myths were your go to? i didn't have any. i literally had to eat to correct my lows. can't really let a blood glucose in the 40s go.
medication followed by a very low carb diet helped me get to where i could eat and exercise without a blood sugar crash.
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I definitely made excuses.....my kids were excellent for that! I was fat before I started having kids, and then had 3 in 4 years. My weight always went back down to about 10lb higher than my pregrenancy weight really fast (3-5 weeks) and I used that as an excuse. "its not THAT bad....at least most of the baby weight is gone"....not keeping in mind that I was fat long before there were any babies, lol!
I lost 35# in early 2013, then had a miscarriage in mid 2013 which resulted in my gaining 10#, then got pregnant again at the end of 2013. The baby is now 6 months and I just started the weight loss journey again in January.0 -
"At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?"
1. Unpleasantly plump
2. The couch and too much food
3. Just don't eat carbs, just don't eat at all.
When I'm at my best physically, is when I'm at my best mentally. I have been conditioning my mind first, before thinking I will feel perfect when I just get back to where I was when I was thin. When I based all my success of happiness on my size. Now just learning to love the Fit life and how I feel when I live in "Balance". Understanding that losing fast is not the answer and that it wont last that way. That strength and energy is my main goal and all else falls into place.0 -
judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Because I've suffered from eating disorder2, I saw myself as obese and unfit at my BEST (leanest and strongest!)...yet...when I ballooned to 210 lbs again 3 years AFTER losing most of my pregnancy weight, I didn't see myself as obese or unfit, because I have always been a dancer and gym junkie. What?!?! ... Hmmm...I wonder why my leaps and turns and balance became so terrible this past year?!?!...Anyway, my go-to excuses were: "I'm back on an SSRI. I'm going to gain weight," and "I'm back on birth control, so I'm going to gain weight," and "Once I gain this weight, I won't be able to take it off." (So...my meds worked as a placebo. I gained all the weight back because I thought I would, and subconsciously allowed myself to binge, binge, binge, binge, binge...and then, unfortunately, I fell a little back into the binge/purge mode. There's nothing worse than being bulimic and obese! It's like a double-failure in an already f'd up brain! AHHH!
My go-to popular myths included: "SSRIs and birth control make you gain weight," "CICO is not the answer," aaaand I can't really think of others right now.
All I know is...ever since I've been on here and treating it like it's Facebook (this is my ONLY social media source anymore)...I've educated myself SO SO SO SO much, and I feel like a new person. I've lost 16 lbs since January, and I'm not looking back.0 -
disorders* ... not disorder2.lol0
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judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
"Stupid dryer keeps shrinking my cloths" . . . seriously had that dryer!!!0 -
Tedebearduff wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
"Stupid dryer keeps shrinking my cloths" . . . seriously had that dryer!!!
YES!!!!! I've recently started drying some of those same clothes on high in the hopes that they DO shrink a little to match my shrinking butt!!!0 -
My weight always fluctuated but our winters are brutal cold and sometimes (being a gym teacher) I can spend months in sweats. Weight can creep up on you and all of a sudden your pants do not fit and sweats are too forgiving and the mirror plays tricks. I am pretty stocky and muscular so I can hide it pretty well...but jeans not getting over your *kitten* is a pretty solid shake. So that typically is my wake up call.
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The "only one or two cookies (which actually turned into 6) won't count". and "oh its just one day" added up to 30lbs gained. And the "I'll loose it when the weather is good and I can get outside" didn't happen.0
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judiness101 wrote: »
Yes I meant fattest. I'm sorry if the word worst offended you. In my case I was seriously obese, but I was seeing myself as chubby.CorvusCorax77 wrote: »at my "worst" which I mean you mean fattest
I will answer my own thread latter.
I only made that distinction because i think it was worse for me to not be eating at all than to be a little chubby. Not offended
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I don't have a denial story.
I was only extremely overweight for a couple of years. I was very aware of the situation. I gained due to a series of serious illnesses that started when I had a brain aneurysm. I had several years when I physically could not exercise due to an illness which was difficult to diagnose--it turned out to be adult HGH deficiency/pituitary failure.
One I had a diagnosis and treatment, I was back in the pool ASAP.
I actually DO have a slow metabolism--I have five different metabolic diseases. I just do the best that I can given the challenges and realities that I face.0 -
shifterbrainz wrote: »SergeantSausage wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Low blood sugar is twisted fatlogic/an excuse??
Muh sugahs ... I gots to keeps muh sugahs up ... om nom nom nom ...
Yeah. It is a giant excuse for folks.
You don't need to eat half a cake, the whole pint of ice cream, and a snickers bar to up your sugars. About a third of the snickers would have done it. Or a slice of bread. Or an apple ...
I think the thread is asking us "stupid" fat people to share our experience. Not seeking "smart" people to share their omniscient ignorance on the subject.
So ... still in denial, then, right.
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I dont think I was ever in denial or made excuses. Like above I didnt care, maybe even had a self destruct aspect because there were other more serious things going on.0
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My problem has always been that I am a volume eater. I remember when I was on weight watchers the first time when I was 17 I would constantly be telling my mom that "No one really lives on this much food a day, this is ridiculous!" and I would pretty much throw tantrums about having to log my food and whine about how unfair it was that I had to watch while other people got to eat what they wanted.
I'm kind of glad I'm past that whiny phase. I wish it didn't take me nine years to get past it though.0 -
Oh God, so many excuses!
"I don't ACTUALLY look as heavy as I actually am"
"It's impossible for me to be slim - my frame is big and it just wouldn't happen no matter how much weight I lose"
So many silly thoughts.0 -
judiness101 wrote: »One of the things that fascinates me about weight and fitness condition is how much in denial we can be.
I think a lot of us went through that path and used excuses, twisted "fatlogic" (starvation mode, low blood sugar, I eat 800 calories and do not lose weight...) or we are in plain denial.
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit?
What were your go to excuses to be that way?
What popular myths were your go to?
Other than being overweight from giving birth, I have only ever been 20 lbs overweight. Nothing more. It did take me a good 4 years to lose my baby weight. I was 80 lbs overweight. Never diet or exercised ever prior to that. I was 18 when pregnant, so really didn't think about those things.
I didn't have any excuses I had a baby and got fat during and after. During those 4 years I counted calories. Sometimes I would do atkins to help cut calories. But I would print out all the fast food nutrition and glue it into a notebook. I took it everywhere with me and chose items that I knew would fit my 1200 calorie goal. Yeah I was one of those 1200 calorie eating people in my early 20's. I didn't research it much at all. I lost 70 lbs restricting calories and working out.
I maintained my weight and then I moved and gained 20 lbs eating all the new foods. Went from Jersey to FL. Lots of hispanic food and its my fave. No excuses. I ate those 20 calories back and have been up and down with MFP since 2011.0 -
I was always overweight, I was over 250lb by high school graduation and 318lb at my highest in university. My best friend since 1st grade was always thin, pretty, athletic...so I always felt like I was a background character who lived in the shadows. I would lay awake for hours at night thinking about how I would start eating better, etc, then wake up and never do anything I thought about. I knew scientifically that counting calories and tracking food would be the best way to do it, but I always considered it too troublesome and time consuming to track every single thing you ate. Eventually I just started to think it was impossible for me to change.
As I reached my mid-twenties, I started to realize just how awful the weight made me feel--I barely went out, my joints were all stiff and creaky, I felt OLD at 26 years old. If I felt old then, what would I feel like when I actually WAS old? If I even lived that long. I think that's what flipped my "let's do this" switch. My friend's mom had lost around 60lb on Weight Watchers, so I did the online version for a month. As someone who had always known the science behind weight loss and that it has to be a lifestyle change, not a diet, I found the program unsatisfying and lacking in detail and refinement. I wanted to track my macros to ensure I got a good balance, for example. And my sodium intake. That's when I found MFP, and I've used it to lose a great many more pounds. Almost to the 100lb down from highest weight mark.0 -
I dont think I was ever in denial or made excuses. Like above I didnt care, maybe even had a self destruct aspect because there were other more serious things going on.
This. I always knew I was fat. I had 100+ kids at school making it their sworn duty to remind me every day, because apparently, I wouldn't know unless they reminded me every chance they had.
It came down to a doctor sitting me down, looking me in the eye, and telling me I'd never live to 35 if I didn't fix it to make me care.0 -
Yes I knew I was overweight.
My excuse: I was always very healthy and active until my ex hit me with a car and broke my hip and pelvis. It requires two surgeries to fix it, and I have a plate and 6 screws in my pelvis. I couldn't stand for 9 months, couldn't walk more than a step or two for the first 3-4 months after I could stand and couldn't walk at all without a walker or crutches for the next year. But I never changed my eating habits and quickly packed on 65 pounds. Finally 4 years after the "accident" I was back to running again and lost the weight. 4 1/2 years ago I dislocated my hip (during childbirth of my last baby), managed to damaged the hip socket during the dislocation and yet again went through another hip surgery. Due to the joint being very unstable I went through another year of barely being able to get around (again using a walker and crutches), again didn't modify my food intake and gained. Got cleared just over a year ago (3 1/2) years after the reinjury, worked out for a month and was diagnosed with a cyst in my brain which then burst and I ended up with a raging case of meningitis. I knew what I needed to do (reduce my calorie intake as my activity dropped off) I just didn't want to.
Got cleared again to workout in October and I am on day 190 and down 30 pounds, with another 39 or so to go.0 -
At your worst, did you see yourself as obese/unfit? Extremely obese, no illusion for me.
What were your go to excuses to be that way? None
What popular myths were your go to? None
I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and shed the weight.
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I KNEW I was unfit. I HATED it. But not enough to do something about it for a couple of years. My excuse, I live in the second-fattest major U.S. city. So, I figured I was better off than most. I am 44, this is as good as it gets.0
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