If I lived alone, I would not have trigger items in my kitchen. Instead I live with a wonderful cook

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Replies

  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    jvt63 wrote: »
    If I find "his" food (chips, chocolate, etc.), I throw it out and deal with his tantrums. I've asked him nicely, for years, to please keep it in his car, or hide it, but he's ignored my requests. I've thrown it out twice now. I doubt I'll have to do it a third time.

    I would not accept that behaviour from anybody - if my partner insisted on throwing my stuff out like that, we'd be going our separate ways.

    That's completely un-partnerly behaviour....
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    I AM a wonderful cook. One of my best friends is a chef and he begs me to cook for him. :)

    You just have to exercise some self control.

    I've stopped baking bread and sweets entirely, which is kind of sad because I have a huge set of skills that I can no longer use. Oh well.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    AsK your chef to expand his/her repertoire. Or ask to him/her to cook with less oil-- or whatever you need. That is what I had my hubby do. He is the cook in our house. He has learned to "stir fry" Swiss chard or such with garlic and onions with no oils. Also he happily lets me take a larger role. Lately, I have been doing the shopping so that he cooks whatever I bring home.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    i married a chef, which is how i got to 250 LOL!

    he had a stroke though, several years ago (and is now partially paralyzed) so now the kitchen is my domain lol
  • otheliemoor
    otheliemoor Posts: 50 Member
    Someone might have brought this up before, but what about talking to him about the foods you are struggling with? You know, like an adult.
  • Briargrey
    Briargrey Posts: 498 Member
    Self-control, willpower, moderation, wanting to lose weight more than you want to overeat. You know - the same the rest of us find long-term success.

    And calling foods 'trigger' foods and deciding you're helpless in the face of them is really just an excuse for the majority of the population. Maybe you're the very special snowflake with some chemical disorder that impacts willpower, but guess what, I doubt it.

    Now, being AWARE of what foods (or food groups) 'trigger' you and adapting to it without becoming all helpless? That's fine. I knew Dr. Pepper was my gateway drug -- if I had one, I wouldn't want to stop. But I still decided I wasn't going to oust them entirely - I decided that I had a calorie goal and I was going to stick to it, and if I wanted to leave room and have a soda, I would. I've chosen to not have soda for over 2 years now, but I recognize that *I* am the one in control, not my love for the big Doc.

    So yeah - figure out what sets you off. In the beginning, try maybe to minimize exposure, but also be working on building up an 'immunity' to giving in to those overeating cravings. Just DECIDE to stick to your goal and do it.

    Last week was a special week. We were going to go out to dinner somewhere and I knew that I actually didn't want to worry about 'fitting it in' that day, so I made the conscious decision to not worry. I didn't fret and think 'omg, it's the end of it all, I'm going to have one night of expensive gorging on seafood and that's all she wrote.' Instead, like a rational adult, I worked out more in the days leading up to my trip, and I'm working out more this week, and I downed about three pounds of lobster and shrimp without regret, ate a pizza the next night when we wound up staying away a night longer, and jumped right back into fitting my calorie goals in when I got home.

    You can do it. You can. You just have to want to.

    Oh and to the person who throws away her husband's food? Wow. Just. Wow. I'd be finding a new husband and justifiably so. Again - make it fit, or don't put it in your mouth. In a perfect world, it would be nice if, at the beginning while someone adjusts themselves to eating in a more mindful fashion, if some of those foods arent' around - but you have to assume they will be and just DECIDE.
  • JoRumbles
    JoRumbles Posts: 262 Member
    I am a good cook and my husband is an improving cook. Tonight he made sticky chicken and homemade coleslaw, all for under 400 cals and it was delicious. We have been making a lot of dinners out of the "Hairy Dieters" cook books and everything is delicious and each meal is <500 calories. I just have to watch the portion control- because often it says "serves 4" and he cooks the lot for both of us!

    So my advice- suggest some recipes for more adventurous things that your husband could make for you
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    edited March 2015
    jvt63 wrote: »
    I definitely do have trigger foods, and I'll say it in front of God and everyone. For me, it's masochistic to have cheese doodles and pita chips in the house. I have more peace when I accept that I have no control over these foods. I don't feel diminished in any way. But to each his own.

    I used to tell myself the same thing about chocolate. I'd swear I was addicted to chocolate, that there was no way in heck that I could have chocolate in the house without eating all of it.

    Then, you know what? One day, I woke up and I decided that I was using it as an excuse, and that it was silly and self-defeating. So I stopped.

    Now I have chocolate in the house constantly, and I eat it a little bit at a time, within my calorie goals. And I enjoy it a lot more.

    Trigger foods, for most of us, are just a myth. You're stronger than those cheese doodles. You just have to decide that you are.

    jvt63 wrote: »
    If I find "his" food (chips, chocolate, etc.), I throw it out and deal with his tantrums. I've asked him nicely, for years, to please keep it in his car, or hide it, but he's ignored my requests. I've thrown it out twice now. I doubt I'll have to do it a third time.

    Wait, you actually throw out his food? Are you kidding me? Grow up and act like an adult!

    Do you go around to strangers at restaurants and throw their food out, too, because you find it triggering?
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    edited March 2015
    I find foods only act like "triggers" for me when I'm telling myself I CAN'T have them. In other words, if I think of a certain food as a "bad" food, then when I do get my hands on it, it's like a Last Supper. ZOMG ALL THE APPLE PIE.

    When I don't do that, I don't need to binge, because I can have it today, and I can have it tomorrow, and if I feel like it and have the calories for it, heck, I can have it twice on the following day if that's what I want. Knowing I can have more takes away that "Eat it ALL...NOW" feeling.

    Until I figured this out, I thought the actual food itself was physically triggering me. YMMV. :)
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    jvt63 wrote: »
    If I find "his" food (chips, chocolate, etc.), I throw it out and deal with his tantrums. I've asked him nicely, for years, to please keep it in his car, or hide it, but he's ignored my requests. I've thrown it out twice now. I doubt I'll have to do it a third time.

    I'm guessing since you are married that you are an adult... but it's really hard to tell that from this post. It is sad that you feel the need to act in this sort of way. Sorry, but you are not more important then he is. It is his house as well as yours and thus he has the "right" to keep food he likes in HIS home.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    Someone might have brought this up before, but what about talking to him about the foods you are struggling with? You know, like an adult.

    So many problems could be resolved if people would just TALK to each other.
  • Silverdracos
    Silverdracos Posts: 110 Member
    A truly wonderful cook should be able to make healthy food taste wonderful too. It's not like there aren't dozens of cookbooks or online resources to get him started.

    Pay attention to portion sizes. When I've filled my (salad) plate with my measured meal I evaluate the state of my stomach. If I feel like it isn't going to be enough I'll grab a bowl of salad in addition and eat it first.

    Keep small treats with a known value. When I am in desperate need of a chocolate fix there's almost always something close to hand. I've found that good-quality stuff with complex flavors soothes a craving much faster than junk. One piece of See's eaten in three or four bites makes me happy. A tootsie roll is like trying to wash your car with a squirt gun.

    If I want a more savory/crunchy snack I make it part of a meal.

    Become aware of Diminished Returns. The first chip is awesome, and the second is delicious. . . but are you REALLY enjoying the tenth to the same degree? After a certain point you're just eating on auto-pilot and no longer getting the same pay-off. And before you shout "EVERYCHIPISEQUALLYLOVED!!" try it. Concentrate on the flavor and become aware of the point where your tastebuds have had enough and start to give up.
  • Ellaskat
    Ellaskat Posts: 386 Member
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    Steph38878 wrote: »
    @slideaway1. If you grill everything, slice zucchini, squash, eggplant... Season and grill them. Mrs. Dash table blend is a great option.

    Last year, I started slicing green tomatoes, toss with olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper and lemon juice then grill. They're good if you like green tomatoes.

    Thank you kindly. :)
    Ellaskat wrote: »
    I live with a wonderful chef too - he does high ends events - even did Chelsea Clinton's wedding. That's just an excuse to get in your way though. Though I've NEVER cooked for us in the 12 years we've lived together, I am now. Ive taken over all our cooking and he's letting me. As the result I've lost 12 pounds in 9 weeks. You can too. Just get rid of your excuses and get to work. My husband supports me in my goal to be healthier, and thinner. IF yours doesn't, sounds like there are bigger issues than 'trigger' foods in the house.

    What does Chelsea Clinton eat? She looks like a kebab kind of girl? And we all know what her dad eats!!! Who's with me?...anybody..?
    At the wedding it was gluten free and vegan, or so I'm told. I wasn't there:)
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    segacs wrote: »

    jvt63 wrote: »
    If I find "his" food (chips, chocolate, etc.), I throw it out and deal with his tantrums. I've asked him nicely, for years, to please keep it in his car, or hide it, but he's ignored my requests. I've thrown it out twice now. I doubt I'll have to do it a third time.

    Wait, you actually throw out his food? Are you kidding me? Grow up and act like an adult!

    Do you go around to strangers at restaurants and throw their food out, too, because you find it triggering?

    Dang...that is really not OK.

    If you want him to treat you respectfully (pay attention to your goals; cook healthier foods) you have to treat him with a basic level of respect too. If my spouse were throwing away my things, I wouldn't be very cooperative either.

    You are old enough to learn some self control.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    Yeah, as others have said, if he's skilled and creative, he can do wonders with lentils, I'm sure. Try to get him excited about the idea :)
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    tomatoey wrote: »
    Yeah, as others have said, if he's skilled and creative, he can do wonders with lentils, I'm sure. Try to get him excited about the idea :)

    Yes, but first break all his toys so he's appropriately motivated.

    :disappointed:
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    RodaRose wrote: »
    AsK your chef to expand his/her repertoire. Or ask to him/her to cook with less oil-- or whatever you need. That is what I had my hubby do. He is the cook in our house. He has learned to "stir fry" Swiss chard or such with garlic and onions with no oils. Also he happily lets me take a larger role. Lately, I have been doing the shopping so that he cooks whatever I bring home.

    Very good idea.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited March 2015
    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    Yeah, as others have said, if he's skilled and creative, he can do wonders with lentils, I'm sure. Try to get him excited about the idea :)

    Yes, but first break all his toys so he's appropriately motivated.

    :disappointed:

    Lol, what? No, no one should be throwing out anyone's stuff. People should be talking it out.

    Honestly, if someone I lived with crammed the house with chips and sausages, I know I'd have a hard time. Much easier on my own. When I've lived with people, I've gotten them on board my way of eating by cooking amazing meals *pats own back*
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited March 2015
    segacs wrote: »

    Trigger foods, for most of us, are just a myth. You're stronger than those cheese doodles. You just have to decide that you are.

    Sorry, not true. Most people salivate at the sight and smell of sugar, fat and salt. That's why food scientists have careers. I believe less in willpower, which I think is way overrated, than in planning around vulnerability.
  • Ideabaker
    Ideabaker Posts: 517 Member
    You may have a golden opportunity with a husband who is a great cook. Would he be willing to "invent" or customize some recipes that the two of you can enjoy and will also be filling and fit into your macros? (Wishing I had a personal chef now!)
  • Sweets1954
    Sweets1954 Posts: 507 Member
    My husband had taken over cooking dinner most nights. Unfortunately he is not necessarily a great cook, he fries just about everything. I have compensated by being very careful of what I eat at breakfast, lunch and snacks. I have much smaller portions of whatever he fixes and, often make a small salad or additional vegetable to add to what he has made. I have gotten so the chips and most candy he brings in the house doesn't even tempt me anymore. It's the unexpected dinners out that throw me off now.
  • countscalories
    countscalories Posts: 418 Member
    Anyone ever notice how many ads for "fattening" foods are right here on MFP? I think it's hysterical-- as I'm proudly entering my day's carefully chosen calories, up pops an ad for Bisquick's "Impossibly Easy Breakfast Bake". Good grief!
  • Sarasari
    Sarasari Posts: 139 Member
    I'm the cook and the shopper, so I try to fill the house with the healthier stuff. My husband is the continuous snacker. I used to really let it draw me in. I found now that if I make sure if I eat a small, healthy something every couple of hours I am fine, not hungry and not tempted. If I do buy something less healthy that I want I portion a little out and throw it in my drawer and leave the rest for my family to eat. I thought when I first started doing this that the families portion would call to me or that I would be overwhelmed by what was in the drawer. I just don't buy it that often, and I've even forgotten it's there. But it's there when I want it, so it's a mindful choice not just eating, just because. Good luck!
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Just break up
  • 7elizamae
    7elizamae Posts: 758 Member
    I am the fabulous cook in our house. If I'm cooking something that I really want to munch on as I prepare it, I pour myself a glass of really yummy wine. Then, the wine is my treat (instead of the cheese or the croutons or what-have-you).

    Maybe you could choose something that you really love to be your treat-that-you-keep-in-the-house. Then, just figure that into your calories and enjoy it. Perhaps the other goodies won't seem so tempting then?
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    fluffy6208 wrote: »
    To avoid temptation, I brush my teeth after meals &/or add no calorie flavors to my water. When I remember, I fill my tummy with water or chew gum. Any other suggestions?

    I am the good cook in my house. I am also home most of the time within easy reach of food.
    Work together planning meals. Ask your cook to try cooking some lower calorie options that you enjoy. Ask him or her to prepare only enough food for each person to have 1 serving. Eat a big salad with your meal.
    Plan your meals and snacks. Log them in advance. Work the food you like into your calorie goal.
    Portion out food on a smaller plate or bowl.
    Put food away out of sight. Put leftovers in the freezer.
    Get out of the kitchen.
    Wait 20 minutes to an hour before eating the tempting food. Drink a glass of water. Chew some gum.
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