My Motivation-- wrong but oh so true
123letsdothis
Posts: 2
I used to be thin. I even used to be a member of this site about a year ago, and enjoyed slimming down in a healthy way. I would like to again. But my motivation is... let's just be simple and go with "wrong"
I have a dog (I'm one of those crazy dog ppl who considers them furry children). I went to the park with him today, where he played in one of the giant fenced areas with other dogs. A morbidly obese woman (I'm not exaggerating-- obese to the point she could barely wobble in) was there with her dog, who was the equivalent of the child running around the 4 star restaurant screaming and knocking things over. Okay, it's hard to control your dog. fair enough. However, she watches her dog deficate twice, and urinate -in the water bucket- 3 times, each time an elderly man rises and fills it back up at the water station, carrying the heavy bucket down the hill. This is too much for my big mouth. I tell her this isn't right, she needs to get up and DO SOMETHING about her dog. She tells me no. Other people can and should do it for her. I then tell her that THIS is why fat people are so hated. She is the stereotype of a lazy obese woman.
She begins screaming as I walk away, cussing like a sailor. I scream back that there are FIVE children at the bench next to her, what is wrong with her. She continues screaming, and then hits my dog because he runs up to her wagging his tail and she trips over him (her fault, not his. there are about 15 other dogs running around the pen).
I'm coming back to a healthy lifestyle because I respect myself. I respect others who respect themselves. But mostly because I want no part of me to EVER be like that woman, or others like her.
I hope you don't all find me despicable because of my views on this-- but I felt the strong need to share. I do not "hate" anyone here-- even if you reply to me negatively, that is your choice, and I accept that-- you are here to make a change, as am I. I think you're all wonderful for trying, whether youre 100 lbs or 500. But people like this... aren't worth the space they take up, the air they breathe, or the words they say. Sure as hell shouldn't be worth an entire post, but hey, I'm angry.
I have a dog (I'm one of those crazy dog ppl who considers them furry children). I went to the park with him today, where he played in one of the giant fenced areas with other dogs. A morbidly obese woman (I'm not exaggerating-- obese to the point she could barely wobble in) was there with her dog, who was the equivalent of the child running around the 4 star restaurant screaming and knocking things over. Okay, it's hard to control your dog. fair enough. However, she watches her dog deficate twice, and urinate -in the water bucket- 3 times, each time an elderly man rises and fills it back up at the water station, carrying the heavy bucket down the hill. This is too much for my big mouth. I tell her this isn't right, she needs to get up and DO SOMETHING about her dog. She tells me no. Other people can and should do it for her. I then tell her that THIS is why fat people are so hated. She is the stereotype of a lazy obese woman.
She begins screaming as I walk away, cussing like a sailor. I scream back that there are FIVE children at the bench next to her, what is wrong with her. She continues screaming, and then hits my dog because he runs up to her wagging his tail and she trips over him (her fault, not his. there are about 15 other dogs running around the pen).
I'm coming back to a healthy lifestyle because I respect myself. I respect others who respect themselves. But mostly because I want no part of me to EVER be like that woman, or others like her.
I hope you don't all find me despicable because of my views on this-- but I felt the strong need to share. I do not "hate" anyone here-- even if you reply to me negatively, that is your choice, and I accept that-- you are here to make a change, as am I. I think you're all wonderful for trying, whether youre 100 lbs or 500. But people like this... aren't worth the space they take up, the air they breathe, or the words they say. Sure as hell shouldn't be worth an entire post, but hey, I'm angry.
0
Replies
-
I COMPLETELY agree with you!!!! I've never had an experience this extreme. I keep thinking "society cannot get any worse," but people keep proving me wrong and it makes me sad. And as a relatively experienced dog trainer, I know that it is NOT HARD to teach your dog simple manners. People who can't handle that shouldn't be allowed to own dogs.0
-
Good for you for telling her that the behavior that her dog exhibited was unacceptable. I have had many tense encounters with bad dog owners at the park, that even are doing the same thing at the park again next time you see them there. You have to stand up for what you believe in and sometimes people will get upset, but if you say nothing then there is no hope of the person possible recognizing their actions are wrong or their dogs.0
-
I have to agree. These people just use what is wrong with them as an excuse to not do anything about it. I have some health problems that could cause me to gain weight and be over weight. I am still dedicated to lose the weight and be healthy. I don't want to gain weight and be over weight just because many people with my condition are that way. I have Fibromyalgia and someday I will have Lupus, both have to do with pain and fatigue for no reason besides just the illness, but that doesn't mean I am going to let it stop me. i want to be healthy and maybe some days I don't feel like exercising, but I do it. Some days I feel like feeling sorry for myself and getting a pint of Ben & Jerry's, but I know it's not going to get me anywhere. I know that the exercise will help me feel better, I know eating right and losing weight will help the symptoms. I know that being lazy and fat will make it worse. Not just for the physical aspect, but the mental aspect. I just hate when people use things as an excuse. They made themselves who they are, just like we all got overweight because of something we did, whether it be over eating, being lazy, or both. But we are here trying to do something about it. We know there is more to life than food and we don't think the world owes us anything.0
-
The self-entitlement attitude makes me want to smack people. Seriously. I get so mad when people think that they deserve everything just for being them. Sorry, but ya ain't that great. Work for it and you'll get it, sometimes.
I saw this family at the grocery store tonight, overweight parents, and morbidly obese children. I mean this kid was bigger than I am, but considerable shorter. Broke my heart, and made me want to go off on the parents. How can people DO that to their children? I don't buy they whole they don't know better, because I sincerely HOPE that people aren't so brainwashed and stupid that they can't SEE that it isn't healthy. There are ways to feed your kids without encouraging obesity, even if you're poor. It isn't easy, but to me, it's totally worth it.0 -
I have met people just like this woman you are describing, so I understand your frustration. I don't think you are going to find anyone like her on this website, though. You may meet many morbidly obese (and formerly morbidly obese) people here, but these are folks who are actively making an effort to improve their health. The woman you described will probably never make an effort to improve her health or attitude. Whatever benefits she receives for being the way she is (her sense of entitlement, the attention she gets, the excuses she can use, her sense of control, the comfort of familiarity, fear, bitterness, etc.) are worth more to her than the effort it would take to change. There are a lot of not so nice people like her in this world - some people turn their pain inward and some turn it outward - like she does. Try to stay open to the idea that while many morbidly obese people are lazy, unpleasant and mean-spirited, many others are total sweethearts. Jerks come in all sizes.
0 -
Look at my avatar.
Please don't tar us 'morbidly obese' people with the same brush.
I eat healthily, I've done a 58 mile London to Brighton bike ride, I've done the Race for Life, I exercise, yet I still struggle to lose weight.
I too have fibromyalgia, but so what, I work through it.
If you only knew how I would love to be able to zip this fat suit off, and just how painful it is to hear remarks that cut to the core. I'm a human being with exactly the same thoughts and feelings as a slim person, yet there are no laws to protect me from the regular abuse that I have to listen to.0 -
Please don't tar us 'morbidly obese' people with the same brush.
Agreed. "Morbidly Obese" is not a personality trait. To say that all morbidly obese people are entitled, spoiled and lazy would be like saying that all blond women are attractive, or that all wealthy people are hard workers. Every person is a unique individual with unique circumstances. There definately ARE a lot of lazy obese people - that's why there's a stereotype. But there are also many obese people who really do try - and they work harder than the rest of us combined. I see their success stories here all the time. It's very inspiring, even to those of us with not a lot to lose. Good luck on your journey! :flowerforyou:0 -
I guess we say morbidly obese to avoid saying much much worse things. I can think of a lot of them, but they are meeeeaaaaannnn.
My neighbor is one of those. >.< At least my ceiling isn't shaking tonight from her pacing back and forth.........
I dunno, I guess when I think of morbidly obese, I don't think of anyone here. I think of people who aren't even trying to correct the problem, who think that the rest of the world should accommodate them and their habits because its too much work to try to live healthier, know what I mean?0 -
I guess we say morbidly obese to avoid saying much much worse things. I can think of a lot of them, but they are meeeeaaaaannnn.
My neighbor is one of those. >.< At least my ceiling isn't shaking tonight from her pacing back and forth.........
I dunno, I guess when I think of morbidly obese, I don't think of anyone here. I think of people who aren't even trying to correct the problem, who think that the rest of the world should accommodate them and their habits because its too much work to try to live healthier, know what I mean?
While I agree that the dog owner was irresponsible, I don't agree that her entire life and personality should be judged, especially so negatively, on the strength of her size. And how can anyone say that morbidly obese people aren't doing anything to change their lives, or lose weight? How do any of us know how other people live their lives? Would the OP have had such an extreme reaction if the dog owner had been slim, or even merely overweight?
I would have thought that here on MFP of all places, people would be less quick to judge and leap to conclusions. If this is indicative of the general attitude toward MO people, then I really am not at all surprised they get grumpy and defensive. Next time any of you feel the need to make snap judgements, please, just think how you would feel if the boot were on the other foot. And remember that not all obese people got that way because they are stupid, lazy, disrespectful, uncaring... Or any of the myriad things often attributed to them. And then when you've done that, please count your blessings that you are not victimised and sneered at. And when you're finished with that, try focusing on your own lives instead of presuming to judge others.
Sorry if that sounds harsh but there's enough hurt out there to deal with, without it coming from those who really ought to know better.0 -
I am an equal opportunity hater if the person deserves it.
I see plenty of skinny people who behave the same way, and I'd like to slap them around too.
And here you are judging us for judging someone else....
Pot, meet kettle.
Also, the guilt trip at the end there really isn't necessary.0 -
im sorry you had a bad experience, but i know loads of very very fat people who are absolutely lovely and who i am proud to call my friends (also some lovely skinny people too)
How much you do or dont like cake has no bearing on how nice or horrible you are as a person,0 -
Oh good.... because I seriously love cake. I had to resist the urge to get a cheesecake from safeway because I know I'd try to eat the whole dang thing... >.> my biggest weakness right there. Why does it have to be so high calorie? :sad:0
-
Seriously though, let's assume she was morbidly emaciated, commanding the same demeanor then. She'd still be liable to a verbal *kitten* beating. As a waif, she'd demand that things be done for her because of her condition. I think it's just easier to associate physical traits with personality deficits; i.e. consideration.
It's human nature to be judgmental. Anyone who says they don't judge is a filthy liar. People can "reserve" judgment until a later point in time where that initial judgment is either proven right or wrong, then judgment can be adjusted accordingly. But to say they "never judge," is purely sh*tting bull...there's no such thing as "never" in the universe. That said, people truly should be judged by the content of their character. If this person truly had no redeeming qualities, then hate away, because it's probably deserved on their part.
Then again, that's why there activists against all forms of prejudice.0 -
I am an equal opportunity hater if the person deserves it.
I see plenty of skinny people who behave the same way, and I'd like to slap them around too.
And here you are judging us for judging someone else....
Pot, meet kettle.
Also, the guilt trip at the end there really isn't necessary.
I like you. I hate everyone equally, too! :flowerforyou:0 -
I am an equal opportunity hater if the person deserves it.
I see plenty of skinny people who behave the same way, and I'd like to slap them around too.
And here you are judging us for judging someone else....
Pot, meet kettle.
Also, the guilt trip at the end there really isn't necessary.
I didn't write it to be a guilt trip, so if you took it that way....
And I'm not sure how you arrive at the conclusion that I am judging anyone by merely commenting on people's own admissions! Still, if that's how you feel, fair enough.0 -
Seriously though, let's assume she was morbidly emaciated, commanding the same demeanor then. She'd still be liable to a verbal *kitten* beating. As a waif, she'd demand that things be done for her because of her condition. I think it's just easier to associate physical traits with personality deficits; i.e. consideration.
It's human nature to be judgmental. Anyone who says they don't judge is a filthy liar. People can "reserve" judgment until a later point in time where that initial judgment is either proven right or wrong, then judgment can be adjusted accordingly. But to say they "never judge," is purely sh*tting bull...there's no such thing as "never" in the universe. That said, people truly should be judged by the content of their character. If this person truly had no redeeming qualities, then hate away, because it's probably deserved on their part.
Then again, that's why there activists against all forms of prejudice.
Maybe someone should give that bull some Immodium..... sounds like he might have some pooing issues.0 -
Seriously though, let's assume she was morbidly emaciated, commanding the same demeanor then. She'd still be liable to a verbal *kitten* beating. As a waif, she'd demand that things be done for her because of her condition. I think it's just easier to associate physical traits with personality deficits; i.e. consideration.
It's human nature to be judgmental. Anyone who says they don't judge is a filthy liar. People can "reserve" judgment until a later point in time where that initial judgment is either proven right or wrong, then judgment can be adjusted accordingly. But to say they "never judge," is purely sh*tting bull...there's no such thing as "never" in the universe. That said, people truly should be judged by the content of their character. If this person truly had no redeeming qualities, then hate away, because it's probably deserved on their part.
Then again, that's why there activists against all forms of prejudice.
Maybe someone should give that bull some Immodium..... sounds like he might have some pooing issues.
I'm no doctor, but I think the bull may have IBS.0 -
Seriously though, let's assume she was morbidly emaciated, commanding the same demeanor then. She'd still be liable to a verbal *kitten* beating. As a waif, she'd demand that things be done for her because of her condition. I think it's just easier to associate physical traits with personality deficits; i.e. consideration.
It's human nature to be judgmental. Anyone who says they don't judge is a filthy liar. People can "reserve" judgment until a later point in time where that initial judgment is either proven right or wrong, then judgment can be adjusted accordingly. But to say they "never judge," is purely sh*tting bull...there's no such thing as "never" in the universe. That said, people truly should be judged by the content of their character. If this person truly had no redeeming qualities, then hate away, because it's probably deserved on their part.
Then again, that's why there activists against all forms of prejudice.
Maybe someone should give that bull some Immodium..... sounds like he might have some pooing issues.
I'm no doctor, but I think the bull may have IBS.
It's because his food isn't 100% natural and organic. I hear he shops at Wal-Mart too. Srs busnss.0 -
This post upsets me, that is all.0
-
Seriously though, let's assume she was morbidly emaciated, commanding the same demeanor then. She'd still be liable to a verbal *kitten* beating. As a waif, she'd demand that things be done for her because of her condition. I think it's just easier to associate physical traits with personality deficits; i.e. consideration.
It's human nature to be judgmental. Anyone who says they don't judge is a filthy liar. People can "reserve" judgment until a later point in time where that initial judgment is either proven right or wrong, then judgment can be adjusted accordingly. But to say they "never judge," is purely sh*tting bull...there's no such thing as "never" in the universe. That said, people truly should be judged by the content of their character. If this person truly had no redeeming qualities, then hate away, because it's probably deserved on their part.
Then again, that's why there activists against all forms of prejudice.
Maybe someone should give that bull some Immodium..... sounds like he might have some pooing issues.
I'm no doctor, but I think the bull may have IBS.
It's because his food isn't 100% natural and organic. I hear he shops at Wal-Mart too. Srs busnss.
You mean all the stockpiled bags of recalled Lay's pertater chyps made with Olestra that he's been scarfing down for weight loss, aren't healthy? I heard that he got that from a "farmer's market" ... from behind the alleyway in the fashion district of downtown LA... ya know, where they sell authentic pirated DVDs?0 -
Seriously though, let's assume she was morbidly emaciated, commanding the same demeanor then. She'd still be liable to a verbal *kitten* beating. As a waif, she'd demand that things be done for her because of her condition. I think it's just easier to associate physical traits with personality deficits; i.e. consideration.
It's human nature to be judgmental. Anyone who says they don't judge is a filthy liar. People can "reserve" judgment until a later point in time where that initial judgment is either proven right or wrong, then judgment can be adjusted accordingly. But to say they "never judge," is purely sh*tting bull...there's no such thing as "never" in the universe. That said, people truly should be judged by the content of their character. If this person truly had no redeeming qualities, then hate away, because it's probably deserved on their part.
Then again, that's why there activists against all forms of prejudice.
Maybe someone should give that bull some Immodium..... sounds like he might have some pooing issues.
I'm no doctor, but I think the bull may have IBS.
It's because his food isn't 100% natural and organic. I hear he shops at Wal-Mart too. Srs busnss.
You mean all the stockpiled bags of recalled Lay's pertater chyps made with Olestra that he's been scarfing down for weight loss, aren't healthy? I heard that he got that from a "farmer's market" ... from behind the alleyway in the fashion district of downtown LA... ya know, where they sell authentic pirated DVDs?
Exactly. Mmmmmmm olestra.... nom nom nom nom nom0 -
While I can see why you were frustrated, you were bang out of order saying the things you said, there was absolutely no reason to be so incredibly rude. :huh:0
-
Seriously though, let's assume she was morbidly emaciated, commanding the same demeanor then. She'd still be liable to a verbal *kitten* beating. As a waif, she'd demand that things be done for her because of her condition. I think it's just easier to associate physical traits with personality deficits; i.e. consideration.
It's human nature to be judgmental. Anyone who says they don't judge is a filthy liar. People can "reserve" judgment until a later point in time where that initial judgment is either proven right or wrong, then judgment can be adjusted accordingly. But to say they "never judge," is purely sh*tting bull...there's no such thing as "never" in the universe. That said, people truly should be judged by the content of their character. If this person truly had no redeeming qualities, then hate away, because it's probably deserved on their part.
Then again, that's why there activists against all forms of prejudice.
Maybe someone should give that bull some Immodium..... sounds like he might have some pooing issues.
I'm no doctor, but I think the bull may have IBS.
It's because his food isn't 100% natural and organic. I hear he shops at Wal-Mart too. Srs busnss.
You mean all the stockpiled bags of recalled Lay's pertater chyps made with Olestra that he's been scarfing down for weight loss, aren't healthy? I heard that he got that from a "farmer's market" ... from behind the alleyway in the fashion district of downtown LA... ya know, where they sell authentic pirated DVDs?
Exactly. Mmmmmmm olestra.... nom nom nom nom nom
I think...they reformulated Olestra and called it Alli...0 -
Probably.... sounds about the same ;-)0
-
I have never met someone morbidly obese that is not what I consider to be a horrible person, whether that be outwardly shown or not. After all, you cant have respect for others if you do not have respect for yourself. These people do not.
I'm coming back to a healthy lifestyle because I respect myself. I respect others who respect themselves. But mostly because I want no part of me to EVER be like that woman, or others like her.
WOW....not what I expected when I open this topic.
All I can say is that I am sorry for your experience with this woman, but being morbidly obese myself it does really bother me that people on this site are sterotyping to this extreme. Yes I don't make the best food choices, and I enjoy eating out rather than eating healthy food but I am not lazy. I work sometimes 14 hours a day Friday through Sunday, I go to school full time Monday thur Thursday. If it hadn't been for my friends encourgement I would still be a BBW AND PROUD of it. So please don't go judging others based on one person.0 -
I dunno, I guess when I think of morbidly obese, I don't think of anyone here. I think of people who aren't even trying to correct the problem, who think that the rest of the world should accommodate them and their habits because its too much work to try to live healthier, know what I mean?
Allow me to reiterate what I (incorrectly) assumed everyone would understand. I AM NOT talking about ANYONE here. If you are here, you are trying to change. I couldn't care less how thin or heavy you are; your effort counts so much more than an aesthetic attribute. I sincerely apologize for those I offended; it was not my intention.
And those of you who brought up the "what if she was normal sized/ thin/ emaciated", yes, I would judge her the same way, but no, I probably would not bring up the weight part. Not saying I'm right for that, but I'm being honest.
I placed importance on the weight because (to me) she the epitome of the "lazy, fat, sloppy, obese person". Stereotypes are not always true, but stereotypes came about from numerous repetitions of the same attributes from a like group of people. This does not mean I think all M.O. people are this way, nor does it mean I would be cruel to a person because of the way they look. That would be horrible. But in this case, the shoe fit and she sure as hell wore it.
Rude? I disagree. If someone is rude to me first I honestly see no reason to be polite back.
Blueeyes-- I hope you and everyone around you are damn proud. I can't speak for the other posters, but you are SO much stronger than I am, or ever could be in that situation. Good for you, and good luck (though you seem to be making your own)
0 -
I have never met someone morbidly obese that is not what I consider to be a horrible person, whether that be outwardly shown or not. After all, you cant have respect for others if you do not have respect for yourself. These people do not.
I'm coming back to a healthy lifestyle because I respect myself. I respect others who respect themselves. But mostly because I want no part of me to EVER be like that woman, or others like her.
WOW....not what I expected when I open this topic.
All I can say is that I am sorry for your experience with this woman, but being morbidly obese myself it does really bother me that people on this site are sterotyping to this extreme. Yes I don't make the best food choices, and I enjoy eating out rather than eating healthy food but I am not lazy. I work sometimes 14 hours a day Friday through Sunday, I go to school full time Monday thur Thursday. If it hadn't been for my friends encourgement I would still be a BBW AND PROUD of it. So please don't go judging others based on one person.
The thing is, it's not just one person. There are SO many of these people now that they outnumber the good people. I honestly wonder what would happen if as a society we stopped worry so much about being politically correct and called it how we saw it?0 -
This post upsets me, that is all.
Me too. More than I'd like to admit. I like the tools on MFP, but this kind of stuff on the forums just makes me sick. One might never know the strength and courage it took for that women to venture out for a walk to the dog park. If she was really as obese as she was described, that walk may have used up everything she had. And for her effort, within a short time she gets called fat and winds up in this mess. Maybe I'm looking at it wrong. I'm not trying to excuse her behavior, just trying to understand it.
I'm not tough enough for a lot of the posts on the community forum. I'm not venturing into the 'community' any more. It just makes me sad.0 -
I'm glad you were able to speak up to this woman. I dont think I would have been able to. I would have just taken my dog and left.
I really cant stand the people that feel everything should be done for them. I've worked in places where some older women refused to even push their own shopping cart. Or take things they bought out to their car. Hell I'm related to one that wont pump her own gas.
...I cant stand people! xD0 -
I have never met someone morbidly obese that is not what I consider to be a horrible person, whether that be outwardly shown or not. After all, you cant have respect for others if you do not have respect for yourself. These people do not.
I'm coming back to a healthy lifestyle because I respect myself. I respect others who respect themselves. But mostly because I want no part of me to EVER be like that woman, or others like her.
WOW....not what I expected when I open this topic.
All I can say is that I am sorry for your experience with this woman, but being morbidly obese myself it does really bother me that people on this site are sterotyping to this extreme. Yes I don't make the best food choices, and I enjoy eating out rather than eating healthy food but I am not lazy. I work sometimes 14 hours a day Friday through Sunday, I go to school full time Monday thur Thursday. If it hadn't been for my friends encourgement I would still be a BBW AND PROUD of it. So please don't go judging others based on one person.
The thing is, it's not just one person. There are SO many of these people now that they outnumber the good people. I honestly wonder what would happen if as a society we stopped worry so much about being politically correct and called it how we saw it?
I don't understand why when people talk about manners it's regarded as being pc. It's manners. Manners are something that wwe should all be using. Using manners make the world a nicer place to live in. You don't just start yelling at someone about their weight. It's just plain rude.
I am morbidly obese. It's nothing i'm proud of but it's a fact and people like the op are the reason i hate leaving the house. People who feel the right to make comment where it's not wanted or needed.
Everyone is lazy about something at some point in their life whatever their size.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions