We broke up because...
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Refused to meet my parents.0
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I met her Parents0
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He was drunk when he met my parents.0
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she wouldn't share the mirror0
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She needed a minimum of 2 hours of mirror time every day.0
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because he was a pu$sy0
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Because he's half cat0
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Not breaking up with you holly
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Did not care for my guitar collection.0
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Did not like my silver spoon collection.0
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I was stupid!0
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I woke up and it was all just a bad dream
still going strong 
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I was stupid!0
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She was looking for love in all the wrong places.0
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She preferred her husband0
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She was looking for more than a FWB0
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She just wanted a FWB0
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She talked in acronyms that I didn't understand. I guess I'm old0
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There was just too much cowbell.0
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She talked in the third person all the time0
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He was mad all the time because I would not let him on my zombie team0
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I could never find him in all that camo.0
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Once again I was stupid0
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He had too many women on the side.0
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And too many on the front0
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She dumped me.0
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He wouldn't show me his assets0
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Never looked at my face, only my assets0
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Wouldn't let me borrow her clothes0
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