1st time at the gym: Was that OK behaviour?

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  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    MikaMojito wrote: »
    Kinda glad to see I wasn't just being a wimp!

    I WILL indeed go back to that gym because I'm not doing it for him, I'm doing it for me. So he can go get lost.

    Unfortunately he IS the manager and head trainer of the gym, so I'd have to complain to him which I think would be pointless. However, since it's a cheap-*kitten* gym, I won't have too much contact with him. Once you know how the machines work and you've been given a plan to follow, you can just go do your thing. The trainers do walk around an correct you if you do something wrong but he's not MY personal trainer. If he was I certainly wouldn't go back.

    And to be honest: ONE of the reasons I'm trying to get fit is to have the knowledge that if people talk to me like that I could theoretically (!) punch the in the face really hard. Not that I'd ever do anything like that, I'm usually pretty good at defending myself with words. But I felt so completely out of place there, surrounded by young, slim muscular people (not their fault, they work hard for what they've got) that I let him cow me into silence. It won't happen again.

    Thanks for your support, everybody! I hope you're all doing well with weight and fitness!

    <3

    Good for you. Pair of headphones and a good playlist might come in handy.

  • Nuka_Gina
    Nuka_Gina Posts: 92 Member
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    I'm so sorry. I know that if that had happened to me I would probably be in tears. There is no reason for him to be shaming you that way, let alone talking that way as a trainer. I'm not sure what advice I could give to handle that situation, but don't let that guy get you down. You can totally lose the weight and keep it off. I'm in the same boat as you right now, having lost a lot and gained it back... etc. Feel free to add me because I know that I could use support and motivation, too. :)
  • Cryptonomnomicon
    Cryptonomnomicon Posts: 848 Member
    edited April 2015
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    To answer your original question that is not acceptable behavior, constructive criticism is different from blatant arrogance and insensitive remarks. Request a new trainer.

    Also should have pointed out that if "people did realize that it's stupid behavior and just needed more willpower" he would be out of the job.
  • Of_Monsters_and_Meat
    Of_Monsters_and_Meat Posts: 1,022 Member
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    Weight machine, crunches? Shooting you down.
    Get a different trainer. Sounds like he wants you to pay for your membership and never step foot back in the gym.

    Here, save yourself some grief. Drop $10 and just buy this. Go in armed with a plan.
    http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Rules-Lifting-Women-ebook/dp/B004IE9RGC
  • PeachyPlum
    PeachyPlum Posts: 1,243 Member
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    He sounds like a dick.

    I would talk to the owner or manager of the gym and tell them you want a different trainer. I would also expect the owner to make the jerk apologize to me.
  • dirtyflirty30
    dirtyflirty30 Posts: 224 Member
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    Class A A-hole. Trade him in.
  • MikaMojito
    MikaMojito Posts: 680 Member
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    Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »
    Weight machine, crunches? Shooting you down.
    Get a different trainer. Sounds like he wants you to pay for your membership and never step foot back in the gym.

    Here, save yourself some grief. Drop $10 and just buy this. Go in armed with a plan.
    http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Rules-Lifting-Women-ebook/dp/B004IE9RGC

    I'm not sure I understand your comment. "Weight machine" is not the term he used - I simply don't know the English terms for the different thingies he showed me how to use. And I was also not precise when it comes to crunches - I asked him to suggest exercises for some back problems (lots of desk work...) and there's a kind of reverse crunch thing where you lie on a bench and lower your legs - he suggested that.

    If what you mean is that he should have sent me straight to the free weights section - he asked if I wanted to try them and I told him I wasn't sure yet and he told me to try the machine thingies and he'd show me how to use the free weights whenever I felt ready.

    I know that heavy lifting for women is a huge thing in the states atm but over here, it's still fairly rare for women to use the free weights. I wouldn't feel comfortable there right now, so I see no harm in starting on the machines.
  • MikaMojito
    MikaMojito Posts: 680 Member
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    lichic25 wrote: »
    lishie_rebooted wrote: »
    He's an *kitten*. Talk to gym management, he shouldn't be talking to gym members that way

    Unless its a privately owned gym, there's got to be someone in corporate you can talk to. That kind of behavior is completely unacceptable.

    It IS a franchise but things are different in Germany. You might complain to the manager of a restaurant if the food was cold but apart from that it's very unusual to go higher up to complain about somebody. I've had checkout staff at the restaurant say rude things and people at clothing shops. Complaining about this kind of thing just doesn't get done here.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 909 Member
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    Sounds like a pretty crappy trainer to me. Also, that is completely unprofessional behavior.
  • FitPhysique
    FitPhysique Posts: 284 Member
    edited April 2015
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    OMG! I can't believe anyone would think that it is acceptable to behave so poorly. You should report him to management. That must have been so surreal...I personally would have thought I was on a hidden camera show.

    He was very unprofessional. If his intent was to motivate, he should be more tactful. Either way, you should not waste your time or your hard earned money in the company of such individual!
  • noobletmcnugget
    noobletmcnugget Posts: 518 Member
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    Oh my god definitely switch trainers. His claim that gaining weight has nothing to do with psychology is laughable. He sounds ignorant and obnoxious. That's no way to motivate someone.
  • jk051861
    jk051861 Posts: 41 Member
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    The book New Rules for Lifting for Women is a great resource. Check it out.
  • Marcia661
    Marcia661 Posts: 183 Member
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    I'm so sorry that you had this experience. Kudos to you for staying strong and planning on returning. Show him how bloody wrong he is.
  • juliewatkin
    juliewatkin Posts: 764 Member
    edited April 2015
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    I would offer him his own constructive criticism. Approach him in a friendly and inoffensive way and tell him that he may not be aware of it but that his training methods are counter productive to building a business, building customer loyalty and motivating his customer base to change.

    Say it in the nicest, most helpful way possible. When people are *kitten*, it's fun to mess with them by being really nice. They know you're really saying 'f' you but can't say much because you're being kind and helpful.

    I'm in a position now where I'm often challenged by people and not always in a polite way. Even when I'd like to shake them until their head flies off, it's more effective to give a super polite reply that really means 'bite me'. It's fun too when they know it does :)
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    Unless you respond positively to the beating...I would simply get another trainer. So inappropriate and no you are not overreacting!
  • MikaMojito
    MikaMojito Posts: 680 Member
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    Thanks again for all the support but he isn't my personal trainer - at the gym you just get one free one-on-one session in which the trainer explains the machines etc. I might be spending money on the gym but not on him as a trainer specifically.

    I like the idea of messing with his head but I'm a chicken, I'll admit it . I'll just go back and do my thing. I have nothing to prove to anybody but me.
  • suruda
    suruda Posts: 1,233 Member
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    Good for you for brushing him off and going back! You are working hard for your goals and belong in that gym just as much as anyone else.
  • terar21
    terar21 Posts: 523 Member
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    Go back and say something. He's a jerk. Management may know it too. But people tend to be passive and my complain. A good complaint could force him to have to change his ways.
  • nikkib0103
    nikkib0103 Posts: 968 Member
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    That is awful. This is the sort of thing that drives people out of the gym. He sounds like one of those types who only want people in his gym who look like they don't need the gym.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    He is a super d0uchebag!

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