Waitresses trying to sabotage me
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thisdizzy_dreamer wrote: »If you're visiting there often enough, it could be they consider you a really good customer and feel like by treating you special you'll keep coming back. When I worked in a strip mall, I used to go to the corner sandwich shop to pick up lunch. They started slipping me free extras, but I highly doubt the 50 year old woman was flirting with me!
You never know... She might have been
I know some 50 year old women who could put 20 year olds to shame. Meow!0 -
That ever your doing your doing it right. Keep it up.0
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thisdizzy_dreamer wrote: »But I highly doubt the 50 year old woman was flirting with me!
Hey, you never know! 50 year old women flirt, too.
Cougars! Grrrrrr!0 -
Just don't eat the extra food.0
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I don't know how long you've been married or what kind of relationship you have with your wife but I think you need to do some examination of your marriage before you do anything you can't undo here. Vows are not to be taken lightly and you really shouldn't just throw all of that away. Trust once broken is not easily regained.0
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Well, it's cool that you're a regular enough that the waitress are being cute and giving you extras. It seems that you just eat a small portion and bring home the leftovers, so have developed a strategy to deal with this.
So I don't understand the need to call this sabotage? Do you feel that caving in to eating that extra bit of food is imminent?
I'm sort of lost here.
I also don't understand the concept of sabotage frankly. I have food sitting in my pantry right now, just THERE. Taunting me. Waiting to be eaten. Is my pantry sabotaging me?0 -
I wouldn't call it sabotage. ... I myself have a real tendancy to feed people I like. You no longer appear to be overweight and most people who look at fit men assume they are active and need to eat a lot of food. Food is a complex social tool often used to express friendship, caring or love. If the waitresses feel like they know and like you because of your personality frequency of visits they are showing you extra kindness through something they can offer.
It can be really annoying to get these types of " friendship offerings however. It happens to me a lot at work and I imagine as I lose more weight it will only increase. I think you are handling it well. If you reject the extra food it may feel like you are rejecting the offer of friendly distinction.0 -
You're pretty close to your goal weight, aren't you? The waitress may be flirting with you or mothering you. You could stop the extra food by being blunt about it; threaten to switch restaurants if they don't stop bringing out extra food you didn't order. Or else you simply ask for a takeout container when the food is delivered.0
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mamapeach910 wrote: »Well, it's cool that you're a regular enough that the waitress are being cute and giving you extras. It seems that you just eat a small portion and bring home the leftovers, so have developed a strategy to deal with this.
So I don't understand the need to call this sabotage? Do you feel that caving in to eating that extra bit of food is imminent?
I'm sort of lost here.
I also don't understand the concept of sabotage frankly. I have food sitting in my pantry right now, just THERE. Taunting me. Waiting to be eaten. Is my pantry sabotaging me?
It's either sabotaging you or trying to get in your pants.0 -
the obv just jelly!!
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mamapeach910 wrote: »Well, it's cool that you're a regular enough that the waitress are being cute and giving you extras. It seems that you just eat a small portion and bring home the leftovers, so have developed a strategy to deal with this.
So I don't understand the need to call this sabotage? Do you feel that caving in to eating that extra bit of food is imminent?
I'm sort of lost here.
I also don't understand the concept of sabotage frankly. I have food sitting in my pantry right now, just THERE. Taunting me. Waiting to be eaten. Is my pantry sabotaging me?
It's either sabotaging you or trying to get in your pants.
Caramel popcorn with nuts... in my pants.
Kinky.
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I'm not understanding where people are getting a flirting vibe here...?
When a customer eats less, the shop has to wonder whether he just isn't liking the food as much any more. Even if they realize it's due to a weight loss program, there's the concern that the person may eventually just not come back. Restaurants love their "regulars" (if the regulars behave, anyway, and I'm sure most do). They're a cash cow the shop can count on. Regulars are also much more likely to recommend the shop to others. Restaurants and cafes have a VERY edge-of-the-knife day to day competition just to stay open, generally. It's a tough industry.
Waitresses learn early that the more "personal" and friendly they act with customers (for the most part), the bigger the tips and the more likely they are to get, and maintain, regulars. Although I do know a number of dudes who like to think they've still got it and that's why service people are so friendly toward them. (Waitresses know they feel that way and will keep coming back because of it. Overall, wait staff are not stupid. Not by a long shot. Some are paid the absolute bare minimum and survive on tips. If they don't make you feel great about yourself, they can't pay their electric bill.)
Not seeing why anything the OP said indicates that the waitress urgently needs to get into his pants, unless it's to fish around in there for his wallet. If it is indeed flirty, I hardly think the OP's marriage is in danger. Waitresses know their clientele and what will bring the biggest tips. Little kids like to be joked around with and handed crayons, women like to have their shoes, jewelry or parenting complimented, and men, particularly the over-30s, like to have their egos stroked. I don't think there's a state of emergency here, frankly. These techniques are ages-old. 0 -
She is just doing it because she thinks it will get her a bigger tip.
I had this happen at a fast food restaurant. I ordered a juinor sized fry at Arby's to eat in. When I got my tray, the carton was stuffed the brim with fries and there were fries dumped everywhere on my tray. Probably like another two servings worth. I was like WTF? in my head, but I realized they just honestly thought they were doing me a favor because everyone likes more fries, right? I just threw all the extra in the trash and ate what I ordered anyway.0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »Well, it's cool that you're a regular enough that the waitress are being cute and giving you extras. It seems that you just eat a small portion and bring home the leftovers, so have developed a strategy to deal with this.
So I don't understand the need to call this sabotage? Do you feel that caving in to eating that extra bit of food is imminent?
I'm sort of lost here.
I also don't understand the concept of sabotage frankly. I have food sitting in my pantry right now, just THERE. Taunting me. Waiting to be eaten. Is my pantry sabotaging me?
It's either sabotaging you or trying to get in your pants.
Caramel popcorn with nuts... in my pants.
Kinky.
MizzPeach,
You are officially my new hero!
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When i quit smoking, nobody pushed cigarettes on me. Even my still-smoking friends were respectful of my decision. hell, they showed deference and even offered support by volunteering not to smoke around me (which was unnecessary, but the thought was appreciated).
Shortly after getting comfortable as a non-smoker, i tackled my diet. Almost a year later, i find that many 'well-intentioned' people cannot help but try to convince me to have a pastry, ice cream, or whatever other treat i'm avoiding and they're indulging in.
It's frustrating, but i've gotten pretty good at saying "no thank you" without feeling guilty. Some people do get pushy, and i've learned to be blunt. "I'm not arguing with you; i choose not to eat that." After that, i started finding treats left on my desk. I throw them away. I've had "hurt" feelings from colleagues, and i shrug that off pretty easily too.
People don't take food seriously....0 -
When you order you could say you've noticed them giving extra items lately that you can not eat and ask for no extra food. You could look before you leave and take out anything you did not order and leave it there.
You could pack food from home and stop frequenting so many restaurants.0 -
Sabotage is an INTENT to derail someone from reaching a goal. Doesn't sound like sabotage. More like a "thank you" for being a good loyal customer.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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amyrebeccah wrote: »I'm not understanding where people are getting a flirting vibe here...?
When a customer eats less, the shop has to wonder whether he just isn't liking the food as much any more. Even if they realize it's due to a weight loss program, there's the concern that the person may eventually just not come back. Restaurants love their "regulars" (if the regulars behave, anyway, and I'm sure most do). They're a cash cow the shop can count on. Regulars are also much more likely to recommend the shop to others. Restaurants and cafes have a VERY edge-of-the-knife day to day competition just to stay open, generally. It's a tough industry.
Waitresses learn early that the more "personal" and friendly they act with customers (for the most part), the bigger the tips and the more likely they are to get, and maintain, regulars. Although I do know a number of dudes who like to think they've still got it and that's why service people are so friendly toward them. (Waitresses know they feel that way and will keep coming back because of it. Overall, wait staff are not stupid. Not by a long shot. Some are paid the absolute bare minimum and survive on tips. If they don't make you feel great about yourself, they can't pay their electric bill.)
Not seeing why anything the OP said indicates that the waitress urgently needs to get into his pants, unless it's to fish around in there for his wallet. If it is indeed flirty, I hardly think the OP's marriage is in danger. Waitresses know their clientele and what will bring the biggest tips. Little kids like to be joked around with and handed crayons, women like to have their shoes, jewelry or parenting complimented, and men, particularly the over-30s, like to have their egos stroked. I don't think there's a state of emergency here, frankly. These techniques are ages-old.
Most people purporting that the server is flirting with the OP are kidding and using hyperbole. But yes, you are correct, it's the OP is a regular and they're trying to do nice things to keep him/her happy.
Aha, missed that somehow.
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Yeah, I don't see this as sabotage. I see this as you being a regular so you get extra stuff. It's pretty common. We go to a local restaurant pretty regularly and I swear that every time I get a margarita they put more and more tequila in it. I've stopped ordering them as often because I have a low alcohol tolerance and I'm a bit afraid that my husband is going to have to start carrying me out to the car after dinner.0
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Yeah, I don't see this as sabotage. I see this as you being a regular so you get extra stuff. It's pretty common. We go to a local restaurant pretty regularly and I swear that every time I get a margarita they put more and more tequila in it. I've stopped ordering them as often because I have a low alcohol tolerance and I'm a bit afraid that my husband is going to have to start carrying me out to the car after dinner.
That sounds just awful.0
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