Things that people just SHOULDN'T say!

suzitkd
suzitkd Posts: 110
edited September 27 in Motivation and Support
I thought I would start this thread so we can all list those unhelpful things that have been said to us in passing - to me it's the 'You don't need to lose any weight, you look fine as you are!' I know they mean well and are trying to be kind, but it then leaves me unable to discuss my diet and (hopefully!) progress with them you know? Let's face it, they know and I know that I need to lose a few stone, they're just trying to be nice, but really it would be more helpful if they said something like 'you're trying to lose weight, it's hard isn't it? What have you tried so far?'

The thing is, I know I've done it myself in the past! We think we're being kind and saying something nice... but actually it's undermining all the effort and determination they've been putting in! I've made a promise to myself that I will NEVER say that to anyone EVER AGAIN!
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Replies

  • bridetobe310711
    bridetobe310711 Posts: 183
    agreed!
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Congratulations, when are you due?
  • copperdave
    copperdave Posts: 146
    "You're not fat."
  • katrina1122
    katrina1122 Posts: 23
    I'll back you up on that promise.
  • rofcarl
    rofcarl Posts: 11
    someone needed to say that. well done.
  • KimberlyKurtz
    KimberlyKurtz Posts: 287
    your not fat your just tall ( am 6'2)
  • peanutrenee
    peanutrenee Posts: 179
    "oh u look fine for ur hight"
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    I agree!
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
    lol I was quite happy when my hubby said I didnt need to lose weight, it reassured me he likes me as I am. Not sure what's wrong with that?
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I hate it when family and friends tell me to not talk with them about fitness or weight loss. I only have the people on here and the girls I went to boot camp with as support. I realize that my friends and family feel guilty that I am taking charge of my life and they are still over weight. I don't try to make them feel that way. What's the victory in going from size 16 to size 14 if I can't share it with those closest to me.
  • Lyndzo
    Lyndzo Posts: 142
    "Oh, you're on a diet?" (Diets are fads, eating healthy is a lifestyle change)
  • MerryKhaos
    MerryKhaos Posts: 34 Member
    **Sarcastic*** "Right because you're SOOO fat"

    :-(

    I know how you feel. I'm known as the exercise fiend on my team, so I have a hard time talking to any of my friends about my routine... For me it's not all about weight lose, it's about health. Even a girl my size is at risk for obesity and diabetes.

    I think most Americans have trouble grasping the concept that maybe it's not jsut because I "Look fine" but because I need to be healthy. sigh. (I think most Americans don't understand health to begin with...)
  • bkthomas2004
    bkthomas2004 Posts: 130 Member
    "Why are you trying to lose weight, you look great"
    "Don't lose anymore, you don't want to look like a stick figure, bobble head, Lindsey Lohan (lol)"
    "You're not fat, you just have a little belly, you can lose that by just running"
    "You can eat that, it wont hurt"
  • Learnin2LuvMe
    Learnin2LuvMe Posts: 465 Member
    " You've gained weight,right? "
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
    Wow, I must admit I'm gulity of this! I will not do this anymore!

    You're right people have said to me your just thick! Or You're just built to be that size. They don't know I was always the thinnest one of my friends and was a track star in school. I'm not built to be 30 or 40 lbs overweight!
  • ShaeDetermined
    ShaeDetermined Posts: 1,525 Member
    "you're so obsessed with exercise"

    "you were prettier before you lost weight....."
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    I will take this thread a little off track, but still kindof the same idea. I have a friend that is 5'3" and weighs 115 soaking wet and eats whatever whenever, but feels she needs to compete with me and brag about how she ran 3 miles non stop in 31 min. That is not encouraging to me, it only makes me feel like effing loser!!
  • HeatherrSue
    HeatherrSue Posts: 106 Member
    Thank you for posting this. This morning, I hit 149.4 on my scale...I started at 185. I've lost over 5 pounds just this one week and my husband before he says congrats says, "What do you think is going it?" I was like um....maybe the fact I drink 80+ ounces of water a day, work out 90 to 120 minutes a day, eat 1200 calories...take your pick! He acts like I'm drinking laxatives all day and sitting on my *kitten*. lol People who aren't on this journey just don't understand it. THey don't know how hard we try, how hard we work. They don't understand why we cry when we see a number on the scale that we haven't seen in 16 years. Or why we cry in a dressing room when you slide into a pair of jeans you don't think will fit and then they do. Its such a hard thing to go thru alone and when anyone tells me, "You need to slow down or stop cause you already look great" I smile and say, "I'm going to keep going so I look the best I can and feel the best I can for me." :-) Congrats in all your losses and everything you do!
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    " You've gained weight,right? "
    oh yeah! my aunt does this to me everytime she sees me. It makes my daugter more mad than it does me.
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    'you don't need to loose weight'

    'but you're in proportion' (5'9)

    'i love you the way you are' Yeah but i bet that being 3st lighter would not cause any complaints!

    'you look fine'

    in responce to i'm trying to eat healthier and loose weight... 'noooooooo you don't need to do that!' Erm, YES i do!
  • Davali
    Davali Posts: 225 Member
    'Don't lose any more'! (I have 50+ lbs to go just to reach the top of my ideal BMI range - I am still obese!!) I do wonder if people say that because they feel some sense of self-guilt for not doing it themselves......
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
    Congratulations, when are you due?
    :laugh: I had that happen to me!!
  • perrytyra
    perrytyra Posts: 357 Member
    Husbands are allowed to tell us that we don't need to lose weight.
  • Shizzman
    Shizzman Posts: 527 Member
    Wow, you eat a lot... (or something like that...it's ok once or twice, but sometimes it can get a bit much)
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
    your not fat your just tall ( am 6'2)
    :happy: Yup, had that one too! Not as tall as you though - I'm just 5'10"!
  • HeatherrSue
    HeatherrSue Posts: 106 Member
    Lori, I know exactly how that feels. I am 5'2", started at 185...can't look at a candy bar without it going to my butt even if I don't eat it (which I don't). All of my in laws are a maybe 110 pounds. I have a sister in law who is constantly posting on facebook how she just ate a pack or oreos or could eat a large blizzard everyday and she loves it. She wears a friggin size 1! Its so disheartnening. On the other side, in my family, the females were all big. Last year my biological mother starved herself, just stoppd eating and went from a size 18 to a size 4. My sister went from a size 16 to a size 4 by not taking care of herself. They both told me, "We did it so I don't see why it's so hard for you". I started at 185 last August. Took December, January and half of Feb off becuase of depression and then gall bladder surgery and started back up at 163 Feb 14th and this morning I hit 149.4 I choose to do it the hard way ya know...eat healthy, drink plenty of water, work out 90 to 120 minutes a day and I've realized, to hell with anyone who tries to bring us down or negate all our hard work. They don't get it and probably never will but for those of us on this journey, atleast we know we're doing it right, we're doing it for us and that's what matters.
  • asudheimer
    asudheimer Posts: 82 Member
    I don't like it when you are working out or exercising and someone points at certain body parts and says "you really need to work on THAT instead of just walking or running" ... It's my body for me to improve as I see fit. It's not at anyone elses discretion as to how I exercise... just be supportive and encouraging without sounding judgemental... sheesh.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    "you were prettier before you lost weight....."

    :noway: :noway: :noway:

    OUCH
  • BamBam1113
    BamBam1113 Posts: 542 Member
    "You carry it well."
  • Jizes318
    Jizes318 Posts: 409 Member
    "SO YOU PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT HUH?"

    Thanks *kitten*... who the hell says these things?
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