Things that people just SHOULDN'T say!

24

Replies

  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
    You are not "FAT" you are just short!
    You are proportioned for your body type!

    If you are out with a group of people and the best looking one says, "OH, don't worry you look great!" I have figured there motive out. I lose weight become healthy and fit, they now have compettition!

    You are older it is bound to happen sometime or another! ( referring to being fat)

    Don't worry you look great, it is on the inside that really matters! ( OK, this is true, we all know we should be treated for who we are and not what we look like, BUT SOCIETY DOES NOT SEE IT THIS WAY)

    Wow the dryer must be shrinking your clothes, because they are fitting really tight!
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    "you were prettier before you lost weight....."

    I had my aunt tell me that I shouldn't get as thin as I was before... the pic that she was using for ref, I was 11st... and miserable as sin!
  • brandi2258
    brandi2258 Posts: 46 Member
    Congratulations, when are you due?
    :laugh: I had that happen to me!!

    Yep, had that happen to me also..

    I also get the "You don't need to lose weight", "You look fine", and my fav! "You're just tall"...(6'3)
  • Fattack
    Fattack Posts: 666 Member
    I was actually really annoyed by a lady at my spin class the other day. She was very slim, and I had a protein bar with me on my bike. She saw me bring it in the class (I'd run two classes back to back and was starving which is why I brought it in with me, to eat after my prior class - kettlebells, but in the end our spin class started early so I didn't get chance to eat it anyway) and asked me, incredulously,

    "Is that CHOCOLATE?" and grinned at me (because naturally, chubby people take chocolate everywhere, including to spin class) to which I responded, "No, it's protein, taking chocolate to spin would be a bit contrary wouldn't it."

    And more on topic:

    "That's a lot of food!" - often coming from people eating something tiny, but way more calorific, and supplementing it with a big ole chocolate bar later!
  • scratchless
    scratchless Posts: 30 Member
    Well i am guna throw a spanner in the works now..................BIG TIME

    Whats wrong with paying someone a compliment if it is deserved. Being a gentlemen is it wrong that I say someone looks amazing in their photos.

    If someone looks good should you not tell then???????

    I have my reasons for loosing weight and its cause I know deep down that I am not happy and I always say after the compliment that they must feel the same as me and they have there own motivations.

    With my clothes on I look OK, but off is another story. I think we all can say that cant we????????

    I think with my close friends on here by asking them that question you find out what really makes them tick, what really is their motivation then I can help them and support them on that motivational path.

    Summer holiday right, cool, u got the bikini yet, keep that in mind, is the picture of the villa on your biscuit cupboard.

    Maybe thats just me but I cant go into a full blown MFP friendship being able to motivate them by saying yer I can see why you wana loose weight.

    please don't slate me. maybe my close friends on here can back me up, PLEASE.
  • asudheimer
    asudheimer Posts: 82 Member
    And another one I hate is when people downplay your accomplishments. Like you are proud of losing 5 lbs and they say "Yeah, that's good, but you still have 40 lbs to go!" Celebrate the small victories and be encouraging :)
  • lacr2011
    lacr2011 Posts: 7
    I hate that i weigh 280 lbs and my mother says i need to lose 10 lbs but that is enough. WHATEVER mom. i know she is either dilusional or trying to be nice but seriously? come to the damn gym with me!!! and i love when right in front of me she will call a size 12 woman fat on tv, or herself, a size 10 woman, fat, and then i'm like.....if they are fat, what do you REALLY THINK of me?

    my husband loves me and finds me sexy at this weigh, and 80 lbs lighter when he met me 6 years ago. he is allowed to tell me what he really thinks, and i do carry this weight well and i am incredibly proportionate, and its okay for HIM to say those things, but he also knows i am obese and i need to be HEALTHY not SKINNY. so here i am!
    people say stupid stuff all. the. time. i think they are jealous. seriously i have started this journey and told a couple people about it and they all overweight to some degree and the first thing they give me is an excuse why i shouldnt lose weight, and then an excuse why THEY shouldnt/dont have to/dont have time etc. i think they are jealous of the courage it takes and the motivation it takes to make life change.
    just my thoughts. :-)
  • Tmrice721
    Tmrice721 Posts: 86 Member
    I had someone say to me "You can't eat that, I thought you were on a diet!!" Duh... it's called moderatation... So I started talking about my healthy lifestyle habits of eating fresh veggies/fruit and exercise and drinking water, and they said "Well maybe if you just stop eating sweets all together it wouldn't take so long" It's not a race, so I just smiled and thought to myself... "that's why your fat azzzz can't walk half a block" :laugh: and went on about my business...

    Good luck to everyone on this journey whether it's your 1st time or 101st time, keep at it and one day you'll get it right. Just don't give up on yourself! :flowerforyou:
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
    Well i am guna throw a spanner in the works now..................BIG TIME

    Whats wrong with paying someone a compliment if it is deserved. Being a gentlemen is it wrong that I say someone looks amazing in their photos.

    If someone looks good should you not tell then???????

    I have my reasons for loosing weight and its cause I know deep down that I am not happy and I always say after the compliment that they must feel the same as me and they have there own motivations.

    With my clothes on I look OK, but off is another story. I think we all can say that cant we????????

    I think with my close friends on here by asking them that question you find out what really makes them tick, what really is their motivation then I can help them and support them on that motivational path.

    Summer holiday right, cool, u got the bikini yet, keep that in mind, is the picture of the villa on your biscuit cupboard.

    Maybe thats just me but I cant go into a full blown MFP friendship being able to motivate them by saying yer I can see why you wana loose weight.

    please don't slate me. maybe my close friends on here can back me up, PLEASE.
    I think you're maybe coming at this from the other end - if you have just started out on your weight loss journey and are telling people about it, comments such as 'you don't need to lose weight, you look fine' when you have a BMI of 35 is actually unhelpful. HOWEVER, if you have LOST some weight and it's starting to show, then OF COURSE it's great to say 'Wow, you've lost weight! You look great!' Those are two very different scenarios!

    Speaking as someone who has both given those comments and been on the receiving end of them, I am now more aware of the effect that some comments can have - without our meaning it. By all means positive comments - wow you look amazing! But if someone has made the decision to lose weight and is trying very hard (and possibly feeling quite alone on their journey) then comments of 'you don't look like you need to lose weight' or 'you carry it well' or similar comments are best left unsaid and instead replaced with the sort of motivational comments of the sort that you're talking about! :happy:
  • lealea25
    lealea25 Posts: 12
    What I hate is...
    Oh you're doing so well do you want one of these? (producing a pack of brownies!)
    When I say no I get 'just have one, it won't hurt. Go on!'

    To me it would hurt because I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle and lose weight and people trying to give me sweets and treats after I've said no is quite offensive to me.
  • Fattack
    Fattack Posts: 666 Member
    Oh, and "Your Goal Weight is very low". Yes, that's because I'm practically a midget and have small bones.
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
    What I hate is...
    Oh you're doing so well do you want one of these? (producing a pack of brownies!)
    When I say no I get 'just have one, it won't hurt. Go on!'

    To me it would hurt because I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle and lose weight and people trying to give me sweets and treats after I've said no is quite offensive to me.
    Oh I am SO with you there! Well said!
  • Fattack
    Fattack Posts: 666 Member
    What I hate is...
    Oh you're doing so well do you want one of these? (producing a pack of brownies!)
    When I say no I get 'just have one, it won't hurt. Go on!'

    To me it would hurt because I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle and lose weight and people trying to give me sweets and treats after I've said no is quite offensive to me.

    I hate this too, especially as I usually cave if they offer it to me more than once ><
  • lacr2011
    lacr2011 Posts: 7
    oh and i also hate the doubters!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have never seriously gotten motivated enough to lose weight. i tried this site once before and two weeks later foudn out i was pregnant and could not make this site work for my pregnancy.
    so i tell people i am on a new path and they give me a look like "sure hon, 130 lbs??? in what, 25 years?" it is so discouraging. but then i have my sister who is a personal trainer and my husband who is so encouraging and i know i can do it, but the doubters really SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like, oh because i have so much weight to lose, i cant do it. well im proving them wrong one day at a time!
  • Brihammond
    Brihammond Posts: 29
    Oh, and "Your Goal Weight is very low". Yes, that's because I'm practically a midget and have small bones.

    I definetly agree with this one. I say I want to lose 50 pounds and they say WHERE? That's too much weight to lose... then I say,"Well I'm 180 and 5'3". Then I get the,"You carry it well!" (Still a compliment, it's still feels kind of sucky for some reason.)

    The WORST: "Your just thick/bigboned".
  • Brihammond
    Brihammond Posts: 29
    "you were prettier before you lost weight....."

    :noway: :noway: :noway:

    OUCH

    I cannot IMAGINE who would have the galls to say that. So rude on so many levels.
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
    "You can have just one, it won't hurt you." I don't like being pressured into accepting a food I don't want. If I say no, it doesn't mean I don't really want it and I'd prefer if you'd refrain from trying to convince me to eat it. Because I probably will.
  • suzitkd
    suzitkd Posts: 110
    "You can have just one, it won't hurt you." I don't like being pressured into accepting a food I don't want. If I say no, it doesn't mean I don't really want it and I'd prefer if you'd refrain from trying to convince me to eat it. Because I probably will.
    Definitely a case of someone trying to get you to eat the same treat as them to assuage their own guilt I think! Ouch.. when I think back I may have actually said that before... :blushing: I promise never to say it again...
  • Mkleder
    Mkleder Posts: 289
    Oh the whole telling me what I can/can't/shouldn't eat -- usually coming from the queen of unlimited breadsticks at the Olive Garden. Ahem, yes Mom, I'm talking about you. Love you!

    The one that gets me is "you've lost a lot of weight, I can see it in your face." YEAH? I dropped 50 lbs, what was I before, a stinking chipmonk?!?!? **But in all fairness and seriousness, this is usually said at the office where NO ONE would dare mention my backside for fear of H.R.
  • I have a couple of things....

    Definately offering you something bad and saying it won't hurt....or 'you can have a day off'

    A classic from my mother is 'wow you've lost loads, don't lose more' but the last time i saw her was before I started loosing weight and i was 14lbs heavier than the time she saw me before (we live 300miles apart).

    But my biggest peeve is when I'm talking to someone skinny about weight loss and fitness and they tell me im not fat and don't need to loss but in the next breath same they are fat themselves.....(usually find its the overly confident size 8 girl who likes to flaunt it too)
  • sashalarue
    sashalarue Posts: 40 Member
    OMG!!! Yes i've had women come up and ask me when i was due...and my child is 13yrs old....*blank stare* really? Or the one that i'm hearing from my mother inlaw and sister inlaw..now mind you they are only 105 soaking wet ok...now i put my husband and son on a clean eating diet and in 30-60 days my husband had lost all his weight and my son just slimmed right on down nicely. Well she looks at me and says...are you dieting also? I look at her like she had a 3rd eye in her head, and mind you i just came back from the gym working my *kitten* off and she says that? I told her yes i was and I WAS LOSING WEIGHT CAN'T YOU SEE? Then she says oh well you know men lose faster than women...and she has said this everytime she sees me, her and her evil daughter....LOL everyone else that knows me knows i'm on my journey and i'm doing very well with it and ppl can see and they tell me everyday...but not her, i told her to keep on never saying it to me, i told her that keeps me motivated, because God knows i want to please my mother inlaw...*insert blank stare here*_________!
  • brittaney10811
    brittaney10811 Posts: 588 Member
    "oh come on, you CAN have just today as a 'free day' right? You can eat what you want for a day"
  • CmGoode
    CmGoode Posts: 38 Member
    your not fat your just tall ( am 6'2)

    I'm 6' almost 6'1" and have a broad build. I hate the "you just have a large bone structure"
  • b00b0084
    b00b0084 Posts: 729 Member
    For me when I gain like 10 pounds and someone says, "wow you are really losing weight." um no I GAINED but thank you
  • marci355
    marci355 Posts: 292
    "Wow, are sick? is something wrong? You don't have cancer do you?" Seriously. A few people had the gall to say that to me, when I was at my lowest (after gastrc bypass) Like I could do anything about it. We lose what we're supposed to lose and then we "bounce back" a few lbs. Boy, was I glad to see 165 again. (size 10). Even my ex, was an jerk about it and "ordered "me to stop losing. Notice I said EX. I should include the extra 240 lbs I lost, when I booted his *kitten* out the door!!!:laugh:
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    It's not necessarily directed at me personally, but...

    "I wish I could be anorexic, just for a couple of days."

    As someone who has recovered from an eating disorder and is now losing weight in a HEALTHY manner, this one really burns me. And I always, ALWAYS say something. Other things I can let go, but not this one. :explode:
  • marci355
    marci355 Posts: 292
    your not fat your just tall ( am 6'2)

    I'm 6' almost 6'1" and have a broad build. I hate the "you just have a large bone structure"
    I know sweetie. Everyone in my family have that large frame German bone structure. I am 5'5" and I was the shortest of everybody, but we're all large framed. It just the way G*D, made us!! My lil sister is 5'10, brother was 6'2", the other sister was 5'8" I hear ya, girl....:happy:
  • sophiej24
    sophiej24 Posts: 5
    My family like to accuse me of "fading away" and then get into debates about whether or not I've lost weight... it's like "I'm right here. Shut up already.".
  • My SO is the main culprit when it comes to my weight loss road block. I make a point not to really share my weight loss to anyone because of the things people say, but this fool loves to do the self sabotage.

    Two nights ago he brought home Oreos and Hot Cheetos. Last night it was leftover chocolate cream pie from Coco's. Now usually I have better self control, but when it's in there awhile I'm tempted. And I don't tend to buy unhealthy food because it's not like I want to see him gain weight either, we're both packing some pounds.

    But when I first started he was convinced I wasn't eating; he had it in his head that I should be eating the same amount he does (him being 6' and I'm only 5'2").
  • marci355
    marci355 Posts: 292
    I had someone say to me "You can't eat that, I thought you were on a diet!!" Duh... it's called moderatation... So I started talking about my healthy lifestyle habits of eating fresh veggies/fruit and exercise and drinking water, and they said "Well maybe if you just stop eating sweets all together it wouldn't take so long" It's not a race, so I just smiled and thought to myself... "that's why your fat azzzz can't walk half a block" :laugh: and went on about my business...

    Good luck to everyone on this journey whether it's your 1st time or 101st time, keep at it and one day you'll get it right. Just don't give up on yourself! :flowerforyou:
    Don't just love it when the "food police" show up?? They need to STFU. Nuff said.:bigsmile:
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