How do I deal with being told I'm unattractive and undesirable?

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  • JeopardyRight
    JeopardyRight Posts: 331 Member
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    capriqueen wrote: »
    Most of the people I hang out with have said this directly or indirectly. The only person who has said spoken otherwise is a people-pleaser so I wouldn't take her seriously. I've been told no one would fall for me, that I am unattractive and many other things that fall in that category. It usually doesn't bother me as I'm not generally conscious about how I look, nor do I crave attention. But sometimes it gets my self-esteem down and I avoid social interactions altogether.

    How do I deal with this?

    So heres whats going on. I can see from your photo you're beautiful. So these people saying this to you need to get their eyes checked.

    Here's what I suggest we do. We go to their house, you ring the doorbell, when they andwer I punch them in the junk and you point at them while they're doubled over in pain and say. 'You know why!'

    Good plan? Good plan
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    capriqueen wrote: »
    Most of the people I hang out with have said this directly or indirectly. The only person who has said spoken otherwise is a people-pleaser so I wouldn't take her seriously. I've been told no one would fall for me, that I am unattractive and many other things that fall in that category. It usually doesn't bother me as I'm not generally conscious about how I look, nor do I crave attention. But sometimes it gets my self-esteem down and I avoid social interactions altogether.

    How do I deal with this?

    Uhhh easy. You sleep with every single one of their boyfriends then you say, "who's unattractive now, *kitten*?" Just. Like. That.
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
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    Why would people say such a thing to you? How old are you? It's saddening that people would just tell you you're unattractive, and judging by your picture you are definitely NOT unattractive. If you love you, that's all that matters! Be happy with yourself, no matter who you are.
  • DaneanP
    DaneanP Posts: 433 Member
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    Just saw your 2nd photo - what a knock out smile! Dump those jealous "friends" and smile more. And good job on your loss so far. You should be proud of yourself not down on yourself! :)
  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
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    Those are lousy friends. Beauty is incredibly subjective and people are attracted to so many different types. Finally, you are beautiful!
  • PewterSky
    PewterSky Posts: 9,225 Member
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    I like what leut_underpants wrote.
    leut_underpants wrote: »
    Dress your best. Learn what that means and apply what you can within your budget.

    Stand tall. Cultivate your confidence and remove those from your life who tear you down.

    Get fit. Really fit. Get good with makeup. Fix your teeth. Find a flattering hairstyle. Learn something new and interesting.

    I agree your friends aren't going to be getting any friends awards this year, and perhaps suggest finding some more supportive friends, I too would say the same as leut said. Attractiveness is not just about our features, it pretty much includes the way you dress and carry yourself. So work on your self if causes you to have low self esteem at times, you have big eyes which look quite nice and a lovely smile (I think you're attractive, not sure what your friends mean by you being undesirable, they are malicious...don't listen to them. I also get told by some spiteful people that I am not attractive enough or have a big nose, I once got told that I looked like a mole. Ha!)

    If you want to try dress in colours that compliment your skin tone and silhouettes that flatter your figure, sometimes even the slightest of change in hairstyle makes the look very different (while tight buns and updos are very professional looking, they also tend to look severe most times so perhaps a side braid, or low ponytail to look different if you don't want a haircut)

    So look up and socialize, you're young, pretty and I am sure you have a great personality! :smile:





  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
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    capriqueen wrote: »
    Most of the people I hang out with have said this directly or indirectly. The only person who has said spoken otherwise is a people-pleaser so I wouldn't take her seriously. I've been told no one would fall for me, that I am unattractive and many other things that fall in that category. It usually doesn't bother me as I'm not generally conscious about how I look, nor do I crave attention. But sometimes it gets my self-esteem down and I avoid social interactions altogether.

    How do I deal with this?

    By getting new friends? I am being serious here. I am not the best looking person, and my weight has always been a constant battle, but I am married and my husband loves me and tells me I am beautiful and I believe him. My personality is what drew us to each other and while looks fade with age, personality and who you are on the inside doesn't.
  • Melissa90xo
    Melissa90xo Posts: 1,020 Member
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    capriqueen wrote: »
    Most of the people I hang out with have said this directly or indirectly. The only person who has said spoken otherwise is a people-pleaser so I wouldn't take her seriously. I've been told no one would fall for me, that I am unattractive and many other things that fall in that category. It usually doesn't bother me as I'm not generally conscious about how I look, nor do I crave attention. But sometimes it gets my self-esteem down and I avoid social interactions altogether.

    How do I deal with this?

    You deal with it by cutting these toxic people out of your life. Who the hell says that to a friend?!

    You're a beautiful girl and deserve so much better than this
  • five1113
    five1113 Posts: 88 Member
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    Confidence! Wear it proudly... There is nothing wrong with your appearance, you have lovely features. I have witnessed unattractive people (my perception of "unattractive" differs from others) parading around with confidence as if walking down a runway, and for whatever mystical reason.... It works for them. Some people will take advantage, and use your insecurities to try and belittle you. Walk with your chin up and rock what you were given, and you will shine. Hope this works out for you... Some people are spiteful, and just suck lol
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    wtf kind of people are you hanging out with? First thing to do is tell them to fvck off Secound thing is to keep on loving you and try to ignore the hurtful comments even though I know its way easier said then done

    just know that what they say is not true because it really isn't you are not unattractive or unworthy of love
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
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    Your friends are jerks! Get new ones ;)
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    I don't see you as outwardly unattractive. You have some nice features. Besides, yes we all want to be that HOTTIE, however, beauty fades and you are left what you have inside. And too me a persons personality and warmth is so much more hotter than a perfect 10!! Keep your head up, be yourself, and the right people will see that!
  • katnroyal87
    katnroyal87 Posts: 8,789 Member
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    I know all about feeling unattractive. Like @leut_underpants sad I realized that I could make myself more attractive, but for me. A big reason as to why I felt unattractive was because I didn't care, I didn't dress my best, I was very over weight, didn't maintain hair and nails. I decided one day that I wanted to be better for myself, not anyone else. I got a gym membership, lost weight, take the time in the morning to fix my hair and put on just a little makeup. With this my confidence grew and you can ask most, they think confidence is attractive. I feel so much better now, I am healthier, more active, and there are still some people who don't find me attractive, but I do and that's what matters. Find some friends who are supportive, life is too short to be put down by people who are supposed to care about you!
  • HollyMGT
    HollyMGT Posts: 111 Member
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    Deal with it by finding new "friends". Anyone who would be so cruel isn't really your friend and doesn't deserve your friendship.
  • QAPmom
    QAPmom Posts: 458 Member
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    Those are not friends. I honestly could never say that to someone, period. That's just wrong. I think you are a cutie and it sounds like you are very grounded. Please don't let them bring you down. :)
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
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    Real friends lift each other up; not tear each other down. Find some real friends and you'd be amazed at the difference it makes in your life. Once you have even one or two REAL friends, everything else matters less and less.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Your problem isn't that you're unattractive, your problem is that you need to lose weight.

    You need to lose the combined weight of your so-called friends that are callous enough to demean you like they do.
  • Zinka61
    Zinka61 Posts: 539 Member
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    I can't imagine why anyone is telling you that you are unattractive, because you are actually beautiful, if that is your photo. (Not that it should matter!) And I see no reason why anyone has to wear make up to be attractive--If you are clean, well-groomed, and take care of your health, you are doing enough for normal purposes. Find some better friends and move on. There is nothing wrong with you, but there is a lot wrong with them.

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