When Skinny People Say They Are Fat..?
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »I work with a woman who is 5'1" and who fluctuates between a size 0 and a size 2. When she's in a size 2, she says she's fat. After she caught me rolling my eyes she explained that she knows she's not actually fat but that she is more comfortable at a 0 and that for her, when she goes up to a 2, she feels fat.
After seeing all those eye rolls from me, she has actually started saying "Ugh...I feel fat" instead of "I am fat".
That really stopped the eye rolling?
Sure. Everyone feels fat sometimes, even people who wear a size 2.
This. It's a sad friendship/acquaintance where one woman can't confide in the other about her personal insecurities, thoughts and feelings without the other woman turning around and confiding in others about how horrible a person they are for having those insecurities, thoughts and feelings.
So if you're very rich, it would make sense to complain to your poor friend who can barely make rent about money troubles and how you "feel" poor? Doesn't matter how stressed you are due to a mortgage payment - you still live in a McMansion while they may be on the verge of getting evicted.
One person does not have to be everything to another, IMO. It would be better to find someone a bit more appropriate to vent to in a situation like that
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Who cares who's around. A person has the right to speak about themselves however they see fit. If that person has a distorted view of themselves that's there problem. When I'm in the process off cutting I view myself as out of shape when I'm clearly not. This past Friday my partner picked up a shirt for me the was a size Small and when I tried it on I was rather tight. I said "it's cause I'm fat right now". She called me dumb and said no I'm not. I know barely fitting into a small shirt clearly doesn't make me fat but I'm very vain so I see it how I do. That's my issue. No one else's and I don't have to tip toe around other people on how I speak of myself just because they might get offended. That's their problem.Try looking at it this way, OP: At your size, if you claim to feel fat, there's some 600-pound woman out there rolling her eyes.
There's always someone out there who's going to be bigger/smaller/shorter/taller/richer/poorer than you. The key is to stop making comparisons to others, and to focus on your own goals.
But I take it the op would have the good sense to not call herself fat in front of the 600 lb woman?
OP, I say if you have to be around her a lot, perhaps politely ask her to stop calling herself fat in front of you? She may oblige
I would be surprised if you felt differently
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When I was underweight and had an eating disorder, I used to think I was fat. Just ignore her and realize that she isn't talking about you but is talking about how she views herself.
I would suggest not rolling your eyes or making any comments though because it sounds like she is insecure and it prob won't help to fuel that.0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »I absolutely hate when people act the way you just did in your post...
If someone is talking about themselves...it is not, about, you.
You just did the same thing...
:drinker:
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Maybe it's just an exaggeration like people will say something scared them so much they had a heart attack, or they laughed so hard they almost died. Should people who have heart attacks freak out every time someone uses that saying?0
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JocelynMooremfp wrote: »I can have a day when I am feelin really great about my workout and progress, then Z, my sister's friend who is 19 and weighs maybe 90lbs soaking wet, will go on an on about how fat she is. I know that you can be out of shape and still skinny but you can't be fat and skinny. Anyways, she does that and then I am like.. "If she is "fat" what does that make me?"
How do you all deal with it and not allow it to ruin a good thing?
That's her stuff that has nothing to do with you.
I believe when people who are not fat say they are, they are just trying to get validation that they look fine. It's best not to provide any kind of response. Sometimes no response or "I understand," are the best responses of all because they deflate the situation and keep you out of their stuff.0 -
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rainbowbow wrote: »I absolutely hate when people act the way you just did in your post...
If someone is talking about themselves...it is not, about, you.
You just did the same thing...
:drinker:
If that's all you can take from my post... then... well... :drinker:0 -
Why doe's calling herself fat offend you?? Her opinion of herself has nothing to do with you!! If you are unhappy with yourself then change it. Just because you view her as skinny doesn't mean she doesn't have her own issue's and things she may want to change.
It doesn't offend me. I just seem to regress more when I hear it over and over, if that makes sense. Like I guess it is almost like I feel her comment is directed towards me, when it isn't.0 -
LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »Maybe it's just an exaggeration like people will say something scared them so much they had a heart attack, or they laughed so hard they almost died. Should people who have heart attacks freak out every time someone uses that saying?
Good point really. In some cases it can be quite light hearted when you go "ooh! Poor choice of words" and everyone maybe chuckles and moves on. Sometimes we do modify our verbiage or topics we discuss depending on who's around. Like I mightnt complain about how I only have X days of paid vacation around the guy who has no bennies, that sort of thing. Eh, maybe it's ultimately just a personal preference
Reading again some of the posts about how the OP's acquaintance may have disordered views of her body, it may indeed be best to say nothing
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Try looking at it this way, OP: At your size, if you claim to feel fat, there's some 600-pound woman out there rolling her eyes.
There's always someone out there who's going to be bigger/smaller/shorter/taller/richer/poorer than you. The key is to stop making comparisons to others, and to focus on your own goals.
This is so true!
Comparisons are about our own self esteem dips, not about anyone else.0 -
Try looking at it this way, OP: At your size, if you claim to feel fat, there's some 600-pound woman out there rolling her eyes.
There's always someone out there who's going to be bigger/smaller/shorter/taller/richer/poorer than you. The key is to stop making comparisons to others, and to focus on your own goals.
Thank you. That comment really put things into perspective. I had never though of it that way before.0 -
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Who cares who's around. A person has the right to speak about themselves however they see fit. If that person has a distorted view of themselves that's there problem. When I'm in the process off cutting I view myself as out of shape when I'm clearly not. This past Friday my partner picked up a shirt for me the was a size Small and when I tried it on I was rather tight. I said "it's cause I'm fat right now". She called me dumb and said no I'm not. I know barely fitting into a small shirt clearly doesn't make me fat but I'm very vain so I see it how I do. That's my issue. No one else's and I don't have to tip toe around other people on how I speak of myself just because they might get offended. That's their problem.Try looking at it this way, OP: At your size, if you claim to feel fat, there's some 600-pound woman out there rolling her eyes.
There's always someone out there who's going to be bigger/smaller/shorter/taller/richer/poorer than you. The key is to stop making comparisons to others, and to focus on your own goals.
But I take it the op would have the good sense to not call herself fat in front of the 600 lb woman?
OP, I say if you have to be around her a lot, perhaps politely ask her to stop calling herself fat in front of you? She may oblige
I would be surprised if you felt differently
I would be surprised if you came into a topic without a distorted view of how people should act while taking the side of the OP just to go against the grain.
The point is that if you allow yourself to feel worse about yourself based on a comment I make about myself then you have the issue. That means your insecurity is the issue and you need to deal with that. It's not my job to make sure you feel better about yourself. You personally say things on here as if you lived in a bubble your whole life and honestly I don't think most 9th the stuff you say here you actually do in your day to day. It sounds more like you're trying to paint a picture of how you are the model citizen.
Aww, thank you
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »I work with a woman who is 5'1" and who fluctuates between a size 0 and a size 2. When she's in a size 2, she says she's fat. After she caught me rolling my eyes she explained that she knows she's not actually fat but that she is more comfortable at a 0 and that for her, when she goes up to a 2, she feels fat.
After seeing all those eye rolls from me, she has actually started saying "Ugh...I feel fat" instead of "I am fat".
That really stopped the eye rolling?
Sure. Everyone feels fat sometimes, even people who wear a size 2.
This. It's a sad friendship/acquaintance where one woman can't confide in the other about her personal insecurities, thoughts and feelings without the other woman turning around and confiding in others about how horrible a person they are for having those insecurities, thoughts and feelings.
So if you're very rich, it would make sense to complain to your poor friend who can barely make rent about money troubles and how you "feel" poor? Doesn't matter how stressed you are due to a mortgage payment - you still live in a McMansion while they may be on the verge of getting evicted.
One person does not have to be everything to another, IMO. It would be better to find someone a bit more appropriate to vent to in a situation like that
I'm going through a divoce, am having money troubles and going through a few other crappy issues at the moment. I did not roll my eyes at my friend last weekend when she complained to me about some of the issues she's having in her life. My current difficulties do not diminish my friend's. At no point did I interject that her problems were nothing compared to mine. Why? Because I don't believe that to be true, I care about her wellbeing and I'm not a self involved jerk. I'm also not going to do it behind her back like a coward.
People in any socioeconomic situation are allowed to have problems and if they think their friends are mature enough to hear them without it being regurgitated to others as some 'she's got it so much better and she should just shut up about her problems', then, yes, she should be able to talk about it.
But obviously some people are not mature enough to divorce their own issues from those of their friends.
Moral of the story: Make sure your friends are your friends and not catty chicks that will turn your insecurities into something to ridicule with others.0 -
ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »I generally assume other people's statements about their bodies are about them, and not about me.
^This. Everyone has their own issues.
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Who cares who's around. A person has the right to speak about themselves however they see fit. If that person has a distorted view of themselves that's there problem. When I'm in the process off cutting I view myself as out of shape when I'm clearly not. This past Friday my partner picked up a shirt for me the was a size Small and when I tried it on I was rather tight. I said "it's cause I'm fat right now". She called me dumb and said no I'm not. I know barely fitting into a small shirt clearly doesn't make me fat but I'm very vain so I see it how I do. That's my issue. No one else's and I don't have to tip toe around other people on how I speak of myself just because they might get offended. That's their problem.Try looking at it this way, OP: At your size, if you claim to feel fat, there's some 600-pound woman out there rolling her eyes.
There's always someone out there who's going to be bigger/smaller/shorter/taller/richer/poorer than you. The key is to stop making comparisons to others, and to focus on your own goals.
But I take it the op would have the good sense to not call herself fat in front of the 600 lb woman?
OP, I say if you have to be around her a lot, perhaps politely ask her to stop calling herself fat in front of you? She may oblige
I would be surprised if you felt differently
I would be surprised if you came into a topic without a distorted view of how people should act while taking the side of the OP just to go against the grain.
The point is that if you allow yourself to feel worse about yourself based on a comment I make about myself then you have the issue. That means your insecurity is the issue and you need to deal with that. It's not my job to make sure you feel better about yourself. You personally say things on here as if you lived in a bubble your whole life and honestly I don't think most 9th the stuff you say here you actually do in your day to day. It sounds more like you're trying to paint a picture of how you are the model citizen.
Aww, thank you
No problem. We know you're not perfect just like the rest of us so there's no reason to pretend to us that you are.
MrM27, model MFP spokesperson 0 -
booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »I work with a woman who is 5'1" and who fluctuates between a size 0 and a size 2. When she's in a size 2, she says she's fat. After she caught me rolling my eyes she explained that she knows she's not actually fat but that she is more comfortable at a 0 and that for her, when she goes up to a 2, she feels fat.
After seeing all those eye rolls from me, she has actually started saying "Ugh...I feel fat" instead of "I am fat".
That really stopped the eye rolling?
Sure. Everyone feels fat sometimes, even people who wear a size 2.
I would disagree with this. I never feel fat now that I weigh 139 and wear a size 4/6, but I did feel fat when I weighed 183 pounds and wore a size 12/14. Well, I was fat then and I am not fat now.0 -
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rainbowbow wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »I absolutely hate when people act the way you just did in your post...
If someone is talking about themselves...it is not, about, you.
You just did the same thing...
:drinker:
If that's all you can take from my post... then... well... :drinker:
And again. :drinker:
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JocelynMooremfp wrote: »Why doe's calling herself fat offend you?? Her opinion of herself has nothing to do with you!! If you are unhappy with yourself then change it. Just because you view her as skinny doesn't mean she doesn't have her own issue's and things she may want to change.
It doesn't offend me. I just seem to regress more when I hear it over and over, if that makes sense. Like I guess it is almost like I feel her comment is directed towards me, when it isn't.
I don't think it will be directed at you. She probably simply believes her figure is not the ideal shape/way it should be in her head! Not that there is an ideal. I have days i call myself fat but i'm never looking round thinking anyone else is!! There are girls in my gym a lot curvier than me and they look freaking hot!! I seriously think no one is judging as much as ourselves!!0 -
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mamapeach910 wrote: »ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »I generally assume other people's statements about their bodies are about them, and not about me.
^This. Everyone has their own issues.
Well apparently we're wrong for thinking thinking that way. Some off the ladies in this thread somehow walk around in life being perfect and do everything in life the right way without offending a single soul.
I believe it as much as you do.
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Try looking at it this way, OP: At your size, if you claim to feel fat, there's some 600-pound woman out there rolling her eyes.
There's always someone out there who's going to be bigger/smaller/shorter/taller/richer/poorer than you. The key is to stop making comparisons to others, and to focus on your own goals.
Agreed. I feel fat because I'm about 10 lbs over the weight where I'm comfortable. My clothes feel too tight and nothing fits me the way I want. I know I'm not technically overweight but that doesn't mean I feel skinny.
This is all about her and she isn't making a mental comparison to or judgment of you. (Well, I can't promise she's not but I really doubt it.) Those comments are all about self perception and if she's comparing herself to anyone it's unrealistic standards set by media.0 -
booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »I work with a woman who is 5'1" and who fluctuates between a size 0 and a size 2. When she's in a size 2, she says she's fat. After she caught me rolling my eyes she explained that she knows she's not actually fat but that she is more comfortable at a 0 and that for her, when she goes up to a 2, she feels fat.
After seeing all those eye rolls from me, she has actually started saying "Ugh...I feel fat" instead of "I am fat".
That really stopped the eye rolling?
Sure. Everyone feels fat sometimes, even people who wear a size 2.
This. It's a sad friendship/acquaintance where one woman can't confide in the other about her personal insecurities, thoughts and feelings without the other woman turning around and confiding in others about how horrible a person they are for having those insecurities, thoughts and feelings.
So if you're very rich, it would make sense to complain to your poor friend who can barely make rent about money troubles and how you "feel" poor? Doesn't matter how stressed you are due to a mortgage payment - you still live in a McMansion while they may be on the verge of getting evicted.
One person does not have to be everything to another, IMO. It would be better to find someone a bit more appropriate to vent to in a situation like that
I'm going through a divoce, am having money troubles and going through a few other crappy issues at the moment. I did not roll my eyes at my friend last weekend when she complained to me about some of the issues she's having in her life. My current difficulties do not diminish my friend's. At no point did I interject that her problems were nothing compared to mine. Why? Because I don't believe that to be true, I care about her wellbeing and I'm not a self involved jerk. I'm also not going to do it behind her back like a coward.
People in any socioeconomic situation are allowed to have problems and if they think their friends are mature enough to hear them without it being regurgitated to others as some 'she's got it so much better and she should just shut up about her problems', then, yes, she should be able to talk about it.
But obviously some people are not mature enough to divorce their own issues from those of their friends.
Moral of the story: Make sure your friends are your friends and not catty chicks that will turn your insecurities into something to ridicule with others.
For me it's more about a specific category of difficulties that one person clearly finds more challenging and the other repeatedly complains about it in their presence. In that case I just think a little sensitivity may be warranted. I say repeatedly because for example, I have no issues listening to a size 2 friend complaining about how she can't find clothes in her size due to vanity sizing where the clothes in the store really turn out to be quite large. But if she repeatedly complains about being fat in my presence and I'm clearly bigger than her, as a friend, I think she would understand if I were to politely ask, hey could you please take it easy on that?
I also don't believe it's cowardly to bounce a situation off of others to try to figure out how you should react. Not sure if that's necessarily what you meant but I just thought I'd put it out there0 -
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rainbowbow wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »I absolutely hate when people act the way you just did in your post...
If someone is talking about themselves...it is not, about, you.
You just did the same thing...
:drinker:
If that's all you can take from my post... then... well... :drinker:
It's just him playing the "Let me argue to show there are 2 arguments game". Don't worry it's what he does. There actually is no point as usual. Just an attempt to show people they have flaws he obviously doesn't.
In b4 he flags my post. Lol
Lol, there's the flag. So predictable. Loves to criticize but can't take it
now this^ post will be flagged... in...3....2....1....0 -
Who cares who's around. A person has the right to speak about themselves however they see fit. If that person has a distorted view of themselves that's there problem. When I'm in the process off cutting I view myself as out of shape when I'm clearly not. This past Friday my partner picked up a shirt for me the was a size Small and when I tried it on I was rather tight. I said "it's cause I'm fat right now". She called me dumb and said no I'm not. I know barely fitting into a small shirt clearly doesn't make me fat but I'm very vain so I see it how I do. That's my issue. No one else's and I don't have to tip toe around other people on how I speak of myself just because they might get offended. That's their problem.Try looking at it this way, OP: At your size, if you claim to feel fat, there's some 600-pound woman out there rolling her eyes.
There's always someone out there who's going to be bigger/smaller/shorter/taller/richer/poorer than you. The key is to stop making comparisons to others, and to focus on your own goals.
But I take it the op would have the good sense to not call herself fat in front of the 600 lb woman?
OP, I say if you have to be around her a lot, perhaps politely ask her to stop calling herself fat in front of you? She may oblige
I would be surprised if you felt differently
I would be surprised if you came into a topic without a distorted view of how people should act while taking the side of the OP just to go against the grain.
The point is that if you allow yourself to feel worse about yourself based on a comment I make about myself then you have the issue. That means your insecurity is the issue and you need to deal with that. It's not my job to make sure you feel better about yourself. You personally say things on here as if you lived in a bubble your whole life and honestly I don't think most 9th the stuff you say here you actually do in your day to day. It sounds more like you're trying to paint a picture of how you are the model citizen.
Aww, thank you
No problem. We know you're not perfect just like the rest of us so there's no reason to pretend to us that you are.
MrM27, model MFP spokesperson
Hey well at least I'm honest about who I am instead of pretending to be something I'm not like some people. Every one of your posts is along the same lines. The posts you seem to forget to make are the ones giving advice based off actual science or showing your results.
***Cue me trying to justify myself to MrM27*** :laugh:
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