Friends not believing in cico

kimreagan87
kimreagan87 Posts: 25 Member
edited November 16 in Health and Weight Loss
my friend just text me she said I inspired her to loose some weight. She said she went out and get all this healthy food. It's all super healthy but it's all high calorie. She told me what she ate yesterday and while it was super healthy her calories were really high. and she doesn't exercise but she won't believe me that she needs to cut her calories to lose weight not just eat better. She wants me to help her but then argues with me when I try
«1

Replies

  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    When she gains on the high-calorie "healthy" maybe what you've told her will sink in.
  • sherbear702
    sherbear702 Posts: 650 Member
    edited April 2015
    If she won't listen, that's her problem. She'll just have to learn on her own. Tell her about MFP, maybe if she logs everything she eats (assuming she does it accurately) it will be an eye opener for her.
  • Lady_Grell
    Lady_Grell Posts: 103 Member
    The sad truth is that people don't always want to hear what you have to say - even when you're telling them something you feel is truly beneficial. I know I used to be one those people. If I had spent half as much time actually changing my lifestyle as I did making excuses, I would have met my goal weight a long time ago. All you can do is to be an example. At some point she'll probably ask why this isn't working. Remind her gently again. You can even offer your help. She may or may not accept, but just be there as a friend when she's ready to listen. :smile: Good luck to you and your friend.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    kimreagan87 wrote: »
    my friend just text me she said I inspired her to loose some weight...but she won't believe me that she needs to cut her calories to lose weight not just eat better. She wants me to help her but then argues with me when I try

    "I'm just telling you what works for me. Good luck!"
  • TiffanyR71
    TiffanyR71 Posts: 217 Member
    Eating predominantly "high calorie healthy" and not exercising is what helped me to be 40+lbs overweight... So, good luck to her!

    Sometimes people aren't ready to listen...
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    They think it's too much work. A few months ago a coworker asked me what I was doing and that was her exact answer. And this morning she's complaining about the havoc her diabetes is putting her body through...she's in her late 20s with two boys to take care of.
  • Leana088
    Leana088 Posts: 581 Member
    Personally I would tell her that she needn't ask my help if she doesn't really want it.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Meh...a lot of people don't believe in science in general...that's pretty much why the human race is doomed.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    I bet she doesn't eat past 8pm either. She will learn from her failures what really works.
  • LeanButNotMean44
    LeanButNotMean44 Posts: 852 Member
    I have (had?) a friend like this, too. She is bound and determined to find a doctor who will tell her that she has a medical condition as the reason why she "can't" lose weight, despite all medical tests coming back as normal. She won't count calories because she eats "clean" and exercises.
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
    You don't have to believe in gravity for it to work. She dosnt have to believe in cico, she will still experience it working.

  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    "I'm so jealous! I would gain eating that much health food. Calorie counting is the only thing that works for me."
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    I didn't believe it when my mom and dad told me that my 1st boyfriend growing up would not jump in a well and save me if I fell in! Did I believe them? Heck no! Some people just have to find out the hard way!
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    I would end it with, "You asked for my advice and I gave it. I'm not interested in arguing or trying to convince you."
  • nikkinoellemary
    nikkinoellemary Posts: 119 Member
    I got little to no support from my SO for the longest time over cutting down and counting calories on MFP for this very reason. We've both been attempting to lose some weight but like your friend, he thought just eating 'healthy foods' would do it. (Not that I can complain about him making healthier choices!)

    He would kind of make fun of me for it, go "that's not a meal!" when I would have something smaller portioned than he did, or have something different than he was having because I wanted to fit my macros/calories. At the time I had no time at all to exercise (now I have a bit more freedom so I do!) so I was just eating a bit less to make up for it (MFP's default for me at sedentary). He dismissed my logic right out....until I lost 7 lbs. That got him curious enough to start logging his own food and realized just how much he was eating in in comparison to how much he was not moving. He and I are gamers so the whole "earning calories" from exercise or the concept of staying within his resource limits has hooked him right away.

    Now, we're both a couple o' losers. XD

    So let her do her thing. CICO works, and she'll just have to figure it out on her own. I think we all learn something by attrition. Go you for being such an inspiration! At least you have her going in the right direction (of wanting to work towards a goal).
  • Altagracia220
    Altagracia220 Posts: 876 Member
    Send her some links to read that explain why CICO works.

    She might have to learn the hard way, though.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    edited April 2015
    yah I have friends like that...even a medical professional friend believes in "starvation mode"....I just nod my head and smile.

  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Meh...a lot of people don't believe in science in general...that's pretty much why the human race is doomed.

    Ahah! Truth!
  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
    edited April 2015
    Just tell her this is the only way I know how to lose weight. If you know another way, you don't need my help.
  • MamaRiss
    MamaRiss Posts: 481 Member
    I get this so much. I've had probably 5 people ask for my advice. I tell them, going over all the main bullet points. And they either think its too much work, or I can't possibly be telling the truth. These are also the people that tell me I'm going to blow away in the wind and ask me if I'm "done" yet. Out of those 5 people, 2 actually started using MFP, and started losing weight. The other three, lasted about a week and gave up
  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
    edited April 2015
    She isn't sick and tired of being sick and tired. When she is, she will do something. She is still the looking for an easy way out phase.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    kimreagan87 wrote: »
    my friend just text me she said I inspired her to loose some weight. She said she went out and get all this healthy food. It's all super healthy but it's all high calorie. She told me what she ate yesterday and while it was super healthy her calories were really high. and she doesn't exercise but she won't believe me that she needs to cut her calories to lose weight not just eat better. She wants me to help her but then argues with me when I try

    I would tell her that the way you lost weight and the only way you know to lose weight is to eat at a calorie deficit no matter what food a person eats. It is great that she is choosing nutritious food. I would avoid the labels healthy and unhealthy and talk about nutrition instead. I would tell her that eating plenty of protein, fiber, fats and drinking water will help her stay satisfied. I would tell her that she doesn't have to cut foods from her diet to lose weight just eat smaller portions of higher calorie stuff. If she wants help figuring out how many calories she should eat and tracking them there are great tools like MFP that make it easy. If she wants to argue that she doesn't need to consider calories or wants to do something else then she is on her own. Good luck to her.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
    Sometimes you just have to let people learn their own way, and then once they believe in it, they have to bothered/disciplined to implement it. It's survival of the fittest.
  • s2mikey
    s2mikey Posts: 146 Member
    Yeah - its pretty much CICO. However, with a fairly rigorous workout schedule and some strength training, you CAN certainly eat more and lose some weight or at least recompose with more lean muscle. Not saying you can "out-exercise" a large calorie surplus but very active people who are lean have insane metabolisms and "burn through" calories like flames versus paper.

    So - what Im saying is that she can NOT do what shes doing and lose weight. She'll have to incorporate weight lifting and solid cardio for it work at all.
  • rwhawkes
    rwhawkes Posts: 117 Member
    edited April 2015
    There's a lot of anecdotal evidence and strong opinion on MFP, but my experience is that the only way to lose weight is to pay attention to CICO. That is the one universal principle.
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
    kimreagan87 wrote: »
    my friend just text me she said I inspired her to loose some weight. She said she went out and get all this healthy food. It's all super healthy but it's all high calorie. She told me what she ate yesterday and while it was super healthy her calories were really high. and she doesn't exercise but she won't believe me that she needs to cut her calories to lose weight not just eat better. She wants me to help her but then argues with me when I try

    Tell her to go do some research herself before you help her, I normally tell people that. After being asked for 500 times what my secret was or sitting down and making meal plans for ppl at work ... or friends .. and having none of them follow it.. I realized I was just wasting my time so I ask others to put in some mental work before I try and help them at all.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    I wouldnt waste my time......lol the energy wasted on her can be better put to use on yourself
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,903 Member
    There's really no point in having a debate with her about it.

    (sarcasm)If she knows so much, then her success will no doubt be forthcoming. (/sarcasm)

    If she doesn't believe you, fine. It's no skin off your nose if she doesn't lose any weight.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
    s2mikey wrote: »
    Yeah - its pretty much CICO. However, with a fairly rigorous workout schedule and some strength training, you CAN certainly eat more and lose some weight or at least recompose with more lean muscle. Not saying you can "out-exercise" a large calorie surplus but very active people who are lean have insane metabolisms and "burn through" calories like flames versus paper.

    So - what Im saying is that she can NOT do what shes doing and lose weight. She'll have to incorporate weight lifting and solid cardio for it work at all.

    I agree. I used to run 10 mile a day (for two years) and create a 1200 cal deficit a day which helped for weight loss and allowed me to eat lots of anything I wanted, but it's not very sustainable for the rest of your life. I think it's better to get your diet/nutrition on point (without being overly strict) and then add in exercise (for health) and eat back a portion of those cals if you wish.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    We must have the same friend. LOL.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories