Question for the fit who hit the gym
englishmermaid
Posts: 114 Member
this is going to sound so silly, I'm 35 years old and shouldn't be concerned with this.
I know those at the gym most likely don't even give others a second glance, as they're busy doing their thing, I know I rarely notice anyone while I'm doing cardio.
But there's a big room at the back with the weights, full of fit people. I've not been in there yet, feeling embarrassed and out of my league.
I'm new to the gym in the U.S. I used to go back in England and all the equipment there was all in the same area, I found people were really helpful, if I was unsure of something I felt ok asking anybody.
Here, having gained 50lbs since moving to the U.S. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like they'd look at me and laugh at the fat girl trying to lift weights she knows nothing about, you know?
So if you see a fat girl at the gym, who's been there every day doing cardio, would you be kind and helpful if you saw her attempting weights?
I know this is so silly, I really do, I just feel silly walking into that back room full of fit people who know what they're doing, I feel like they'd think it's a five minute wonder for me, but it's not, my mind is 100% in the zone now
I know those at the gym most likely don't even give others a second glance, as they're busy doing their thing, I know I rarely notice anyone while I'm doing cardio.
But there's a big room at the back with the weights, full of fit people. I've not been in there yet, feeling embarrassed and out of my league.
I'm new to the gym in the U.S. I used to go back in England and all the equipment there was all in the same area, I found people were really helpful, if I was unsure of something I felt ok asking anybody.
Here, having gained 50lbs since moving to the U.S. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like they'd look at me and laugh at the fat girl trying to lift weights she knows nothing about, you know?
So if you see a fat girl at the gym, who's been there every day doing cardio, would you be kind and helpful if you saw her attempting weights?
I know this is so silly, I really do, I just feel silly walking into that back room full of fit people who know what they're doing, I feel like they'd think it's a five minute wonder for me, but it's not, my mind is 100% in the zone now
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Replies
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Just go for it hun it's really daunting at first I must admit but most the people there will respect you as we are all there for the same reason to change our bodies
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itsallforlove88 wrote: »Just go for it hun it's really daunting at first I must admit but most the people there will respect you as we are all there for the same reason to change our bodies
I am looking forward to getting smaller and showing that I'm serious about being there
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I haven't list much weight since going to the gym, but I definitely feel smaller and I enjoy cardio so much, I think I'm addicted already lol0
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englishmermaid wrote: »
Here, having gained 50lbs since moving to the U.S. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like they'd look at me and laugh at the fat girl trying to lift weights she knows nothing about, you know?
90% of the time when i see a big person lifting, i think to myself "yeah, keep up the good work." the other 10% of the time i'm just eyeballing their form.englishmermaid wrote: »So if you see a fat girl at the gym, who's been there every day doing cardio, would you be kind and helpful if you saw her attempting weights?
no, i wouldn't go up to that person unless they were about to do something that was dangerous or hurt themselves. by i wouldn't laugh.0 -
Capt_Apollo wrote: »englishmermaid wrote: »
Here, having gained 50lbs since moving to the U.S. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like they'd look at me and laugh at the fat girl trying to lift weights she knows nothing about, you know?
90% of the time when i see a big person lifting, i think to myself "yeah, keep up the good work." the other 10% of the time i'm just eyeballing their form.englishmermaid wrote: »So if you see a fat girl at the gym, who's been there every day doing cardio, would you be kind and helpful if you saw her attempting weights?
no, i wouldn't go up to that person unless they were about to do something that was dangerous or hurt themselves. by i wouldn't laugh.
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First off, yeah for you and for wanting to lift. Second off, I can't speak for anyone but myself, however, with that in mind, I don't give a thought to putting my time in the back with the weights, and I don't give a hoot who is looking. Does your facility have a personal trainer that can get you started on a lifting circuit and get you familiar with some basics?
When I see someone at the gym, big or small, what crosses my mind is that they cared enough to show up. None of us are there for a beauty contest or a popularity contest (well none of us over our mid 30s)....
You Go Girl!!! Lift and shine
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I generally don't approach anyone in the gym to tell them anything, but I'm always happy to answer a question if they ask me. I was 60lbs overweight when I started lifting. It was a little daunting, but I just went and did my thing. I'm now in a healthy BMI category, but when I switch up my routine with new exercises, I can still feel a little awkward. The feeling goes away once I get a handle on the new things.
Remember that the people there might look fit now, but they may not have always been. I know that cuz I was one of the "fatties" there a year ago.
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RedRockChic wrote: »First off, yeah for you and for wanting to lift. Second off, I can't speak for anyone but myself, however, with that in mind, I don't give a thought to putting my time in the back with the weights, and I don't give a hoot who is looking. Does your facility have a personal trainer that can get you started on a lifting circuit and get you familiar with some basics?
When I see someone at the gym, big or small, what crosses my mind is that they cared enough to show up. None of us are there for a beauty contest or a popularity contest (well none of us over our mid 30s)....
You Go Girl!!! Lift and shine
They do but I can't really afford one, if I make more sales in my etsy shop or something I may hire him for an hour to get myself some more knowledge, really I'm just going to go on what I can remember from five years ago lol
I used to love that one for the inner thighs, I could life 50k back when, but I didn't see that one in there from the brief moment I had a peek in the room. It's full of body builder type men in there, they smile when they walk past me on the bike do I'm sure they're friendly enough, I just don't want to be judged or laughed at
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cbhubbybubble wrote: »I generally don't approach anyone in the gym to tell them anything, but I'm always happy to answer a question if they ask me. I was 60lbs overweight when I started lifting. It was a little daunting, but I just went and did my thing. I'm now in a healthy BMI category, but when I switch up my routine with new exercises, I can still feel a little awkward. The feeling goes away once I get a handle on the new things.
Remember that the people there might look fit now, but they may not have always been. I know that cuz I was one of the "fatties" there a year ago.
Yeah that's kind of what I meant, not approaching me as such but them be approachable0 -
cbhubbybubble wrote: »I generally don't approach anyone in the gym to tell them anything, but I'm always happy to answer a question if they ask me. I was 60lbs overweight when I started lifting. It was a little daunting, but I just went and did my thing. I'm now in a healthy BMI category, but when I switch up my routine with new exercises, I can still feel a little awkward. The feeling goes away once I get a handle on the new things.
Remember that the people there might look fit now, but they may not have always been. I know that cuz I was one of the "fatties" there a year ago.
And well done, you must feel incredible 0 -
If it reassures you, I know I'm so self-absorbed in the gym I only really notice other people enough to steer clear of bumping into them and or getting in the way of their equipment. I have full-on resting-*kitten*-face blanked my own brother when I've been in there. My mind is concentrating on the task at hand, or perhaps what I'm going to have for tea once I'm done.0
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I wouldn't be friendly, only b/c I would just ignore you...like I ignore everyone else.0
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I am not sure I’d make your description of fit person, but I am one of the guys back in the weight section. I am doing my thing and pay very little attention to other people. I know they’re there, but unless they do something to get my attention, I don’t really “see” them.
In between sets (I’ll take breaks as long as 3 minutes) I’ll glance at the TV, get water, and maybe pace around. When I see an untrained lifter (we’re not fat or fit, we’re just on a continuum of skill and experience lifting), I will occasionally notice their form (I’m an off-duty personal trainer, so I can’t help it). Unless they’re doing something that will hurt them, I just let it go. I’m just happy they’re making the effort and know over time, they’ll figure it out.
I probably don’t look the most approachable when I’m lifting. I’m not smiling, I’m not looking at my phone (in fact I usually don’t have it with me unless I’m using it to time my rests), I lift, I pace, I breathe, I lift. But if someone were to ask me to help them (spot, advice, etc.), I’d be very happy to do so. Now, if they ask me something that has nothing to do with lifting, I’d probably be bothered. But real weightlifters/body builders are more than happy to share what they’ve learned.
You’re just at a different level on the lifting continuum. You belong there just as much as the guy benching in the 400’s. But do your homework. Have an idea what your goals are. Find a program you think will work for those goals. Then if you need a spot, or advice on form, feel free to ask. And I’m sure the accent won’t hurt.0 -
Lol thank you, yeah I had a guy ask me the other day if I'm from England. He fell off the elliptical and glanced over at me, I took my headphones out and told him not to worry, I did the same thing yesterday, forgetting I have an accent, after that he kept talking to me lolAllanMisner wrote: »I am not sure I’d make your description of fit person, but I am one of the guys back in the weight section. I am doing my thing and pay very little attention to other people. I know they’re there, but unless they do something to get my attention, I don’t really “see” them.
In between sets (I’ll take breaks as long as 3 minutes) I’ll glance at the TV, get water, and maybe pace around. When I see an untrained lifter (we’re not fat or fit, we’re just on a continuum of skill and experience lifting), I will occasionally notice their form (I’m an off-duty personal trainer, so I can’t help it). Unless they’re doing something that will hurt them, I just let it go. I’m just happy they’re making the effort and know over time, they’ll figure it out.
I probably don’t look the most approachable when I’m lifting. I’m not smiling, I’m not looking at my phone (in fact I usually don’t have it with me unless I’m using it to time my rests), I lift, I pace, I breathe, I lift. But if someone were to ask me to help them (spot, advice, etc.), I’d be very happy to do so. Now, if they ask me something that has nothing to do with lifting, I’d probably be bothered. But real weightlifters/body builders are more than happy to share what they’ve learned.
You’re just at a different level on the lifting continuum. You belong there just as much as the guy benching in the 400’s. But do your homework. Have an idea what your goals are. Find a program you think will work for those goals. Then if you need a spot, or advice on form, feel free to ask. And I’m sure the accent won’t hurt.
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I don't mean to offend anyone by saying fat and fit, I guess I'm just used to saying I'm fat0
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You're not fat; you have fat I presume, but you're not fat. Don't be concerned with those in what my wife refers to as the 'peacock pit' (weight room). They for the most part are only concerned on their lifts, PRs, and form. They are like you; just trying to improve on something. Good luck and lift on!0
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Check out bodybuilding.com. They have free work out plans and even have some that are just for women. They also have examples of how to lift proper (can even print them if you need to). Maybe check out YouTube also for examples. This may boost your confidence when going into the weight room 0
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I am also one of those who hangs out in the weight section at the gym. To be honest with you, other than saying hello to a few nice people that I've met there, I'm too focused on my own lifting workout to be bothered looking around to see what others are doing. As a beginner I would recomened that you look into New Rules Of Lifting for Woman, and a program called Stronglifts 5X5. Both of these helped me a lot back when I first started getting serious about weight lifting.0
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Thank uCheck out bodybuilding.com. They have free work out plans and even have some that are just for women. They also have examples of how to lift proper (can even print them if you need to). Maybe check out YouTube also for examples. This may boost your confidence when going into the weight room
I just spoke to the guy who runs it, he was really nice and told me I can ask him if I have any questions
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On the occasions that I even notice other people in the free weights area, I rarely think anything other than "Hey, good work!"
I know it can be an intimidating area for women sometimes (my gym has a "women only" area which only reinforces this notion) so when I see women in the free weights area, I think "Hey, double-good work!"
You'll find that everyone is very busy trying to not drop weights on their faces and usually in their own little worlds.0 -
I would recommend researching some programs- rather than just going in there and trying to wing it.
Trying to wing it is what makes you feel uncomfortable- you don't have enough knowledge to cnfidently move from one thing to another- and there for you feel like you have a target on your back (you don't) but something that will help tremendously with that is to research a program and plan it- write it down and go in there and do it.
That will help banish fears of the "aimless wondering- oh *kitten* it's so obvious I don't know what I'm doing!!!" feeling.
Starting strength
strong lifts
new rules of lifting
strong curves
all excellent programs. I would start there.0 -
OP why do you feel your appearance is in the way of asking for help at the gym?0
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I will also say that sometimes people look around at other people while resting between sets. This used to freak me out and I thought they were looking at me because I was doing something wrong. But they are just looking around out of boredom. I do it now too.
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Some of this could be the culture of the gym itself. Some are really built around the idea of catering to serious lifters and body builders, while others have a more general clientele. On the occasions where I have done a weight workout I don't feel especially intimidated, but I really just keep to myself. 99% of the time, I'm a cardio guy and really don't spend my time lifting.0
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Wow, there is some great advice here! I second looking at bodybuilding.com videos and printing off their plans. Also, I've head great things about the book New Rules Of Lifting for Woman. I thing having a plan is SUPER important, here is why: If you have a plan in hand, you'll walk into the weight room with a purpose and a goal (to get through the program)...and everyone in that gym respects "goals"
Having a plan/program will make you feel more confident and like you belong. When you take breaks, you can look at other equipment and how people use it. Later, you can come up with your own workout. For me, I try to avoid peak periods that bring in big hulky guys. I do find them intimidating and because of their programs, they tend to use the stuff I want to use. If I can't help it, I pop in my headphones, pick the most awesome track, and do my thing....after all, we're all there for a reason 0 -
I would recommend researching some programs- rather than just going in there and trying to wing it.
Trying to wing it is what makes you feel uncomfortable- you don't have enough knowledge to cnfidently move from one thing to another- and there for you feel like you have a target on your back (you don't) but something that will help tremendously with that is to research a program and plan it- write it down and go in there and do it.
That will help banish fears of the "aimless wondering- oh *kitten* it's so obvious I don't know what I'm doing!!!" feeling.
Starting strength
strong lifts
new rules of lifting
strong curves
all excellent programs. I would start there.
I agree with this. Having a clearly defined plan will help SO much.
The weight area can be really intimidating - but just try to remember, every single one of those fit people in there were new once, too. And most likely had similar fears/feelings.0 -
It's what you do, not how you look, that will show people you're serious. I agree with the poster that said you should already have a plan together using any of those resources posted. I hear wonderful things about all of them (I'm talking a little out of my butt here because I work out at home). I'm sure if you know what lift you're trying to do and have an idea of how to do it, someone will be happy to help you with your form. What they won't like, I'm sure, is for you to be completely helpless and pester them to help you figure out an entire routine.
Of COURSE less fit people use the gym, where do you think fit people come from? LOL!!! Get in there, you are going to be great.0 -
I would recommend researching some programs- rather than just going in there and trying to wing it.
Trying to wing it is what makes you feel uncomfortable- you don't have enough knowledge to cnfidently move from one thing to another- and there for you feel like you have a target on your back (you don't) but something that will help tremendously with that is to research a program and plan it- write it down and go in there and do it.
That will help banish fears of the "aimless wondering- oh *kitten* it's so obvious I don't know what I'm doing!!!" feeling.
Starting strength
strong lifts
new rules of lifting
strong curves
all excellent programs. I would start there.
All of this. Get yourself a program and get familiar with it before you do into the gym. Half the battle is walking in there knowing what you need to do. I did the whole 'fake it til you make it' when I started lifting. It gets easier every day as you build confidence.
I am routinely one of the only woman in the free weight section of my gym. I used to get some looks, now I get compliments on my lifts.0 -
I just wanted to say OP that I
this thread I've been looking for this same info. I've been lifting using the machines since November and I'm itching to get over to the big girls lifting area, lol. I've lost 50lbs but I still see myself as the overweight wannabe at the gym....I'm still working on my head getting to where my body is. I have the same fears/hesitations as you. I really like the goals and plans idea from some of the other posters. So thanks for posting this and thank you to everyone giving ideas! 
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I know what you mean its the reason I'm not lifting when i should be and goes what , I AM FIT. Its VERY intimidating because guys do like to workout alone-most of us are this way naturally. But I feel if i go there i will have to be the one to ask instead of them asking me . So naturally i won't ask just do my thing and go. But as I'm doing my thing they guys leave somehow disappointed that there space was invaded.
OK i didn't make all that up-it was really my experience 1. at my last apartments dinky gym when i used the treadmill it just gets awkward cause the space is small and 2. at my community college the gym is nice but the lifting room is small so it was just they reaction i got from the fellow guys. And I'm not even overweight. So there it is a fit girl who gets intimidated to lift. I have yet to get myself near the weights in a big gym when guys are cranking at it. its definitely scary and would give you MANY props just to attempt it. I will overcome this myself and hope sooner than later as i want to lift before i get too old. Best wishes0
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